I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie stew), with
salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been having a hard time
finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned beef instead today, which
is similar in its salinity, which gives the stew a unique taste, but very
different cuts of meat

My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did, the
corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.

My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of cubing
next time. I think there might be a better alternative? Anyone know a good
natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping it cubed?

Peter wrote:
> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie
> stew), with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been
> having a hard time finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned
> beef instead today, which is similar in its salinity, which gives the
> stew a unique taste, but very different cuts of meat
>
> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did, the
> corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>
> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of
> cubing next time. I think there might be a better alternative?
> Anyone know a good natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping
> it cubed?

My question is, who appointed you chief cook and bottle-washer? Corned beef
is not served "cubed". It's sliced thinly against the grain after being
boiled or baked or even crock-potted for a long slow cooking time. At least
you got the cabbage part right

Jill

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> Peter wrote:
>> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie
>> stew), with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been
>> having a hard time finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned
>> beef instead today, which is similar in its salinity, which gives the
>> stew a unique taste, but very different cuts of meat
>>
>> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did, the
>> corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>>
>> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of
>> cubing next time. I think there might be a better alternative?
>> Anyone know a good natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping
>> it cubed?
>
> My question is, who appointed you chief cook and bottle-washer? Corned
> beef
> is not served "cubed". It's sliced thinly against the grain after being
> boiled or baked or even crock-potted for a long slow cooking time. At
> least
> you got the cabbage part right


Your question about who appointed me serves no purpose here I don't know
how corn beef is traditional served and that was not my question. I'm trying
to apply it to how I want it served as an alternative to salt beef which I
can not find localy at this time.

Thankfully, you not being the chef, I figured out after a lengthy boiling
(approx 90-120 minutes for those trying the same), it became very tender,
eating a bowl of great stew as we speak.

Peter wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Peter wrote:
>>> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie
>>> stew), with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been
>>> having a hard time finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned
>>> beef instead today, which is similar in its salinity, which gives
>>> the stew a unique taste, but very different cuts of meat
>>>
>>> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did,
>>> the corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>>>
>>> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of
>>> cubing next time. I think there might be a better alternative?
>>> Anyone know a good natural way to tenderize corned beef while
>>> keeping
>>> it cubed?
>>
>> My question is, who appointed you chief cook and bottle-washer?
>> Corned beef
>> is not served "cubed". It's sliced thinly against the grain after
>> being boiled or baked or even crock-potted for a long slow cooking
>> time. At least
>> you got the cabbage part right
>
>
> Your question about who appointed me serves no purpose here I
> don't know how corn beef is traditional served and that was not my
> question. I'm trying to apply it to how I want it served as an
> alternative to salt beef which I can not find localy at this time.
>
> Thankfully, you not being the chef, I figured out after a lengthy
> boiling (approx 90-120 minutes for those trying the same), it became
> very tender, eating a bowl of great stew as we speak.

Congratulations! And I've never heard of salt beef, either, but that's
neither here nor there. You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not
have to ask these questions.

Peter wrote:
> "jmcquown" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Peter wrote:
>>> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie
>>> stew), with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been
>>> having a hard time finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned
>>> beef instead today, which is similar in its salinity, which gives
>>> the stew a unique taste, but very different cuts of meat
>>>
>>> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did,
>>> the corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>>>
>>> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of
>>> cubing next time. I think there might be a better alternative?
>>> Anyone know a good natural way to tenderize corned beef while
>>> keeping
>>> it cubed?
>>
>> My question is, who appointed you chief cook and bottle-washer?
>> Corned beef
>> is not served "cubed". It's sliced thinly against the grain after
>> being boiled or baked or even crock-potted for a long slow cooking
>> time. At least
>> you got the cabbage part right
>
>
> Your question about who appointed me serves no purpose here I
> don't know how corn beef is traditional served and that was not my
> question. I'm trying to apply it to how I want it served as an
> alternative to salt beef which I can not find localy at this time.
>
> Thankfully, you not being the chef, I figured out after a lengthy
> boiling (approx 90-120 minutes for those trying the same), it became
> very tender, eating a bowl of great stew as we speak.

I'm not THE chef, but I know how to cook corned beef brisket. Why on earth
would it need to be cubed? Corned beef is sliced across the grain thinly
and served with steamed cabbage and sometimes sliced carrots and cubed
potatoes. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "cubed"
corned beef.

Jill

My credentials far out weigh your bitchiness

> I'm not THE chef, but I know how to cook corned beef brisket. Why on
> earth
> would it need to be cubed? Corned beef is sliced across the grain thinly
> and served with steamed cabbage and sometimes sliced carrots and cubed
> potatoes. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "cubed"
> corned beef.
>
> Jill


I am asking how I could apply it to the meal I was trying to make, the one
described with 3 altrnative names in my first post. "Why on earth it needs
to be cubed" is also described in my first post. You also apparently don't
know what "cubed" meansaccording to your own words, even though you didn't
know why it needed to be cubed. Thanks for trolling my thread.

jmcquown wrote on 29 Jul 2006 in rec.food.cooking

> Peter wrote:
> > "jmcquown" > wrote in message
> > ...
> >> Peter wrote:
> >>> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie
> >>> stew), with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been
> >>> having a hard time finding the stuff recently so I purchased
> >>> corned beef instead today, which is similar in its salinity, which
> >>> gives the stew a unique taste, but very different cuts of meat
> >>>
> >>> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did,
> >>> the corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
> >>>
> >>> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of
> >>> cubing next time. I think there might be a better alternative?
> >>> Anyone know a good natural way to tenderize corned beef while
> >>> keeping
> >>> it cubed?
> >>
> >> My question is, who appointed you chief cook and bottle-washer?
> >> Corned beef
> >> is not served "cubed". It's sliced thinly against the grain after
> >> being boiled or baked or even crock-potted for a long slow cooking
> >> time. At least
> >> you got the cabbage part right
> >
> >
> > Your question about who appointed me serves no purpose here I
> > don't know how corn beef is traditional served and that was not my
> > question. I'm trying to apply it to how I want it served as an
> > alternative to salt beef which I can not find localy at this time.
> >
> > Thankfully, you not being the chef, I figured out after a lengthy
> > boiling (approx 90-120 minutes for those trying the same), it became
> > very tender, eating a bowl of great stew as we speak.
>
> I'm not THE chef, but I know how to cook corned beef brisket. Why on
> earth would it need to be cubed? Corned beef is sliced across the
> grain thinly and served with steamed cabbage and sometimes sliced
> carrots and cubed potatoes. I have no idea what you're talking about
> when you say "cubed" corned beef.
>
> Jill
>
>
>

err Jill? Go back and read his first posting...The guy is using corned
beef as a subsitute for salted beef...hence the cubing. He is not making
Corned beef and cabbage....Salt beef is somewhat like salt cod...(except
it is beef AFAIK)...Corned beef is soaked in a brine...hence suitable as
a substitution.

Newfies (people from Newfoundland) find work all over Canada....but can't
find their regional foods everywhere. They have a rich culture and a
language all their own (even if it is based on English and Galic).
You have to live 5 or 6 generations in Newfounland to be thought of as an
Islander and not "from away".

Newfoundland is probably the first inhabited (from Europe) chunk of land
over here in N. America....Something about Viking settlements excavation
sites before the 1400's (probably before the 1000's). Even myths about
Irish monks coming over in ox skin round boats and relics found from
around the 1200's.

--


Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect

-Alan

In news:[email protected],
Peter > typed:
> My credentials far out weigh your bitchiness

Ahhh. I see you've met Jill. She's probably super-bitchy these days
since she recently discovered that she's waiting for her father to
die.
QUOTE from a response to Goomba38." s*** on a shingle" thread:
"Get over it. I have. In fact, I can't wait until my father dies."

"Peter" > wrote in message
news:6%[email protected]...
>I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie stew),
>with salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been having a hard time
>finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned beef instead today, which
>is similar in its salinity, which gives the stew a unique taste, but very
>different cuts of meat
>
> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did, the
> corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>
> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of cubing
> next time. I think there might be a better alternative? Anyone know a
> good natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping it cubed?


Thanks everyone for the help Like Steve said, it just needs to cook
longer than Salt Beef. The dish turned out great. Not quite the same but
deffinitly a workable substitute.

Jill wrote:

> You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not have to ask these
> questions.

Er...what? Since when are good cooks the only people allowed to post here?

Bob

Bob Terwilliger wrote:
> Jill wrote:
>
>> You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not have to ask these
>> questions.
>
> Er...what? Since when are good cooks the only people allowed to post
> here?
>
> Bob

Good point, Bob And by the way, yes I wish my father was dead. He's a
drag on my mother who wishes she didn't have to tend him and make sure he
doesn't wander off and practically tend his diapers every day. (sigh) So
much for being a colonel, eh? Stupid is as stupid does, especially when one
has a gun.

Jill

In article >,
"Bob Terwilliger" > wrote:

> Jill wrote:
>
> > You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not have to ask these
> > questions.
>
> Er...what? Since when are good cooks the only people allowed to post here?
>
> Bob

And even the best cooks can screw up a new recipe when either attempting
to substitute, or trying a new ingredient for the first time...

It's part of the learning process and IMHO being _able_ to learn is part
of what makes a good cook!

I remember the first time I tried to stuff whole baby octopus...... <G>
They needed to be braised or pressure cooked, _not_ fried!
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
"jmcquown" > wrote:

> Bob Terwilliger wrote:
> > Jill wrote:
> >
> >> You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not have to ask these
> >> questions.
> >
> > Er...what? Since when are good cooks the only people allowed to post
> > here?
> >
> > Bob
>
> Good point, Bob And by the way, yes I wish my father was dead. He's a
> drag on my mother who wishes she didn't have to tend him and make sure he
> doesn't wander off and practically tend his diapers every day. (sigh) So
> much for being a colonel, eh? Stupid is as stupid does, especially when one
> has a gun.
>
> Jill

She could place him in a nursing home? Or is that just not an option?
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

jmcquown wrote:
> I'm not THE chef, but I know how to cook corned beef brisket. Why on earth
> would it need to be cubed? Corned beef is sliced across the grain thinly
> and served with steamed cabbage and sometimes sliced carrots and cubed
> potatoes. I have no idea what you're talking about when you say "cubed"
> corned beef.
>
> Jill

Just because YOU serve it thin doesn't mean it's the only way.
WE serve it in THICK slices, sometimes with a parsley sauce, sometimes
with a spicy chutney accompaniment and the list of veg is ever changing
depending on the season.

AND for the record, I have finely cubed (cooked) corned beef and added
it to a few dishes:
nice alternative to bacon or ham in fried rice
also nice added to a white cheese sauce and served over spuds
in their jackets
added to scrambled eggs for brunch
the list continues to grow.

You are coming across as very intractible Jill.
Give the guy a break. He asked a simple question and you needlessly
berrated him.
Why?
What makes you an authority?
Or me for that matter?
Costs nothing to be civil, when a civil question is posed.

By the way Peter, if you are looking for a recipe for corned beef my
style, it's listed in the signature dishes section of the unofficial
rfc website:
http://www.recfoodcooking.com/signature.php
along with an amazing variety of great dishes from other
rfc'ers...check it out!

LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"
.........or one who is too quick to criticise

Andrea Nobili wrote:

> Don't mind her Peter. She's god's gift to herself.
>
> -sw

Another nice way to say it:

A legend in her own lunchtime........

hugely appropriate given the group don't you think?

hehehe

LadyJane
--
"Never trust a skinny cook!"
nor a menopausal one fast approaching her 50th birthday

OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >,
> "jmcquown" > wrote:
>
>> Bob Terwilliger wrote:
>>> Jill wrote:
>>>
>>>> You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not have to ask these
>>>> questions.
>>>
>>> Er...what? Since when are good cooks the only people allowed to post
>>> here?
>>>
>>> Bob
>>
>> Good point, Bob And by the way, yes I wish my father was dead.
>> He's a drag on my mother who wishes she didn't have to tend him and
>> make sure he doesn't wander off and practically tend his diapers
>> every day. (sigh) So much for being a colonel, eh? Stupid is as
>> stupid does, especially when one has a gun.
>>
>> Jill
>
> She could place him in a nursing home? Or is that just not an option?

You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her husband
are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't exactly lots
of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have any idea
how do do that. My S.O. John put his mother in an assisted living vacility
and she does nothing but bitch about it and she's 98 years old. She has
friends living down the corridor and someone to clean the place and cook for
her but bitch, bitch, bitch.

Jill

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> Congratulations! And I've never heard of salt beef, either, but that's
> neither here nor there. You are apparently not a good cook or you'd not
> have to ask these questions.

Aww come on Jill, we all have to learn some things xx

"jmcquown" > wrote

> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
> option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
> husband
> are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.

Your mother doesn't know it yet, or maybe she does, that she
needs a caregiver to come in a few hours a day. This will become
more apparent as things deteriorate. People trained to deal with
people in his situation. At the same time they will get meals on the
table for them, run errands, etc. so there is that benefit. Perhaps the
local Alz association can recommend a service.

nancy

In article >,
"Nancy Young" > wrote:

> "jmcquown" > wrote
>
> > You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
> > option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
> > husband
> > are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
>
> Your mother doesn't know it yet, or maybe she does, that she
> needs a caregiver to come in a few hours a day. This will become
> more apparent as things deteriorate. People trained to deal with
> people in his situation. At the same time they will get meals on the
> table for them, run errands, etc. so there is that benefit. Perhaps the
> local Alz association can recommend a service.
>
> nancy

Home health can be a true blessing. :-)
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

jmcquown wrote:

> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
> option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her husband
> are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't exactly lots
> of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have any idea
> how do do that.

So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.

Goomba38 wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
>> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
>> option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
>> husband
>> are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't
>> exactly lots
>> of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have
>> any idea
>> how do do that.
>
> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.

Replying to my own post to add the addendum: Go help Mom. I can't
imagine anyone regretting doing it after the fact. Maybe if you'd go and
help your mother find adult day care for Alzheimer patients, and
investigate nursing home options you can help her out as well as plan
for increasing levels of care needed down the road.
Do for your father, and help your mother, as you'll someday hope someone
will do for you. You mentioned diapers-Diapers are such a non-issue in
the scheme of things. You might actually come away from the experience
richer emotionally.

"Goomba38" > wrote in message
news
> jmcquown wrote:
>
> > You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not an
> > option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
husband
> > are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't exactly
lots
> > of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have any
idea
> > how do do that.
>
> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.

I may be out-of-line in speaking for Jill, here, but she's offered to move
to her parents' house to help take care of her father and her father
absolutely is adamantly against it. He won't even let her come visit. She
wants to visit because his days are numbered, but he won't let her. He's
not in his right mind at this point and Jill is just going with his wishes.

My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers. It was *extremely* taxing on my
step-mom and, like Jill, she wanted her mom to pass. Why? Because it
wasn't her mother anymore. My step-mom dealt with her mother's condition
for 5 years. Every day Frankie (my step-mom's mother) would ask, "Where's
Gene, where's Gene?" Gene, her husband, passed away 7 years prior. Every
day my step-mom had to deal with the issue of passing the news on to her
mother that her husband of 55 years had already gone. Then the wailing and
weeping would begin anew. Tell me, what's better in that situation? To
wish someone to pass on or wish them life?

Jill's going through a lot right now. Please cut her some slack.

kili

>snip>

> By the way Peter, if you are looking for a recipe for corned beef my
> style, it's listed in the signature dishes section of the unofficial
> rfc website:
> http://www.recfoodcooking.com/signature.php
> along with an amazing variety of great dishes from other
> rfc'ers...check it out!
>
> LadyJane

Thanks LadyJane. I might give this a go soon. I purchased double what I
needed for my recipe yesterday so I plan to try something I've never made
before with the extra.

Peter wrote:
> I usualy make traditional salt beef stew (east cost stew, newfie stew), with
> salt beef, lots of cabbage, etc. Well, I have been having a hard time
> finding the stuff recently so I purchased corned beef instead today, which
> is similar in its salinity, which gives the stew a unique taste, but very
> different cuts of meat

Where have you been getting salt beef in the past? As an avid reader
of 19th century naval fiction I have heard of salt beef, but had no
idea that it was still made or sold to the public (except as corned
beef).

>
> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did,

In Patrick O'Brian novels, the Royal Navy salt beef is often referred
to as "salt horse"; tender doesn't seem to have been relevant then.

the
> corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>
> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of cubing
> next time. I think there might be a better alternative? Anyone know a good
> natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping it cubed?

Long slow simmering may do it, slice across the grain if you can.

"kilikini" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Goomba38" > wrote in message
> news
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>> > You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not
>> > an
>> > option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
> husband
>> > are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't exactly
> lots
>> > of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have any
> idea
>> > how do do that.
>>
>> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
>> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
>
> I may be out-of-line in speaking for Jill, here, but she's offered to move
> to her parents' house to help take care of her father and her father
> absolutely is adamantly against it. He won't even let her come visit.
> She
> wants to visit because his days are numbered, but he won't let her. He's
> not in his right mind at this point and Jill is just going with his
> wishes.

Thank you kili! It seems that some people are so up their own jacksies that
they don't really listen!!

Goomba..... listen ... please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just for once put aside
your 'know all' ego and listen!!!

> My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers. It was *extremely* taxing on my
> step-mom and, like Jill, she wanted her mom to pass. Why? Because it
> wasn't her mother anymore. My step-mom dealt with her mother's condition
> for 5 years. Every day Frankie (my step-mom's mother) would ask, "Where's
> Gene, where's Gene?" Gene, her husband, passed away 7 years prior. Every
> day my step-mom had to deal with the issue of passing the news on to her
> mother that her husband of 55 years had already gone. Then the wailing
> and
> weeping would begin anew. Tell me, what's better in that situation? To
> wish someone to pass on or wish them life?
>
> Jill's going through a lot right now. Please cut her some slack.

Nicely put kili and thank you for your input!

O

> Where have you been getting salt beef in the past? As an avid reader
> of 19th century naval fiction I have heard of salt beef, but had no
> idea that it was still made or sold to the public (except as corned
> beef).

At the grocery store! When I lived in Ontario, I could easily go to A&P or
Loblaws and buy a "tub" of it. Where I live now it seems to be harder to
find, which is funny because I moved to the east coast :-) I can often find
the labels for it at the grocery stores but they sit infront of an empty
shelf. I'm sure I could find it if I looked harder, but I do most of my
traveling on foot.

>> My issue is, that it's not getting tender as salt beef usualy did,
>
> In Patrick O'Brian novels, the Royal Navy salt beef is often referred
> to as "salt horse"; tender doesn't seem to have been relevant then.

No it probably wasn't relevant, and may not have been tender then (age
probably plays a big role here), but they way it is made now it is great
after 30-45 minutes of boiling.


> the
>> corned beef tastes great but is very tough texture.
>>
>> My plan at the moment is to cut it in very thin slices instead of cubing
>> next time. I think there might be a better alternative? Anyone know a
>> good
>> natural way to tenderize corned beef while keeping it cubed?
>
> Long slow simmering may do it, slice across the grain if you can.


Yes, the length of time is much greater for corned beef so I discovered, but
turns out quite nice.

If you have never tried naval beef, well, it doesn't look very nice compared
to corned. It is extremely fatty "chunks" most with random bones attached,
it can really look like a low quality meat, but it tastes great. I usualy
spend 30 minutes cutting and trimming the fat and bone away from the meat.
You can easily feel the salt crystals in and around the meat before it is
cooked, much more salt than corned I think. Certainly isn't the healthiest
stuff around, but lots of good food isn't.

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
. ..
>
> "kilikini" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Goomba38" > wrote in message
> > news
> >> jmcquown wrote:
> >>
> >> > You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not
> >> > an
> >> > option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
> > husband
> >> > are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't
exactly
> > lots
> >> > of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have
any
> > idea
> >> > how do do that.
> >>
> >> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> >> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
> >
> > I may be out-of-line in speaking for Jill, here, but she's offered to
move
> > to her parents' house to help take care of her father and her father
> > absolutely is adamantly against it. He won't even let her come visit.
> > She
> > wants to visit because his days are numbered, but he won't let her.
He's
> > not in his right mind at this point and Jill is just going with his
> > wishes.
>
> Thank you kili! It seems that some people are so up their own jacksies
that
> they don't really listen!!
>
> Goomba..... listen ... please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just for once put
aside
> your 'know all' ego and listen!!!
>
> > My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers. It was *extremely* taxing on my
> > step-mom and, like Jill, she wanted her mom to pass. Why? Because it
> > wasn't her mother anymore. My step-mom dealt with her mother's
condition
> > for 5 years. Every day Frankie (my step-mom's mother) would ask,
"Where's
> > Gene, where's Gene?" Gene, her husband, passed away 7 years prior.
Every
> > day my step-mom had to deal with the issue of passing the news on to her
> > mother that her husband of 55 years had already gone. Then the wailing
> > and
> > weeping would begin anew. Tell me, what's better in that situation? To
> > wish someone to pass on or wish them life?
> >
> > Jill's going through a lot right now. Please cut her some slack.
>
> Nicely put kili and thank you for your input!
>
> O
>
>

:~) Some people just don't understand, Ophelia. It's not an easy
situation. Thank you for being so understanding. Alzheimers isn't easy.

kili

On Sun, 30 Jul 2006 14:01:09 GMT, "kilikini"
> wrote:

>Jill's going through a lot right now. Please cut her some slack.
>
>kili

Ditto.

Christine

Goomba38 wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
>> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is
>> not an option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win,
>> and her husband are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
>> There aren't exactly lots of nursing homes in the Beaufort area.
>> I'm not sure she would have any idea how do do that.
>
> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.

I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he doesn't
want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???

Jill

jmcquown wrote on 30 Jul 2006 in rec.food.cooking

> Goomba38 wrote:
> > jmcquown wrote:
> >
> >> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is
> >> not an option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win,
> >> and her husband are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
> >> There aren't exactly lots of nursing homes in the Beaufort area.
> >> I'm not sure she would have any idea how do do that.
> >
> > So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> > little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
>
> I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he
> doesn't want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???
>
> Jill
>
>
>

Ignore him and go...If he gives you grief tell him you're there for mom.

--


Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect

-Alan

On Sun, 30 Jul 2006 14:32:14 -0500, "jmcquown"
> wrote:

>Goomba38 wrote:
>> jmcquown wrote:
>>
>>> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is
>>> not an option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win,
>>> and her husband are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
>>> There aren't exactly lots of nursing homes in the Beaufort area.
>>> I'm not sure she would have any idea how do do that.
>>
>> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
>> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
>
>I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he doesn't
>want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???
>
>Jill
>

What does you mother say? Does she have no input into the situation?
Or do you have a man with dementia calling the shots?

Just to let you know that I do understand, my mother died from
Alzheimer. I made the decisions even tho she did not like them. There
is nothing like driving 200 miles with you mother crying all the way.
(Moving her to where we lived.)
--
Susan N.

"Moral indignation is in most cases two percent moral,
48 percent indignation, and 50 percent envy."
Vittorio De Sica, Italian movie director (1901-1974

In article >,
"Ophelia" > wrote:

> "kilikini" > wrote in message
> ...
> >
> > "Goomba38" > wrote in message
> > news
> >> jmcquown wrote:
> >>
> >> > You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is not
> >> > an
> >> > option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win, and her
> > husband
> >> > are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy. There aren't exactly
> > lots
> >> > of nursing homes in the Beaufort area. I'm not sure she would have any
> > idea
> >> > how do do that.
> >>
> >> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> >> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
> >
> > I may be out-of-line in speaking for Jill, here, but she's offered to move
> > to her parents' house to help take care of her father and her father
> > absolutely is adamantly against it. He won't even let her come visit.
> > She
> > wants to visit because his days are numbered, but he won't let her. He's
> > not in his right mind at this point and Jill is just going with his
> > wishes.
>
> Thank you kili! It seems that some people are so up their own jacksies that
> they don't really listen!!
>
> Goomba..... listen ... please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just for once put aside
> your 'know all' ego and listen!!!
>
> > My step-mom's mother had Alzheimers. It was *extremely* taxing on my
> > step-mom and, like Jill, she wanted her mom to pass. Why? Because it
> > wasn't her mother anymore. My step-mom dealt with her mother's condition
> > for 5 years. Every day Frankie (my step-mom's mother) would ask, "Where's
> > Gene, where's Gene?" Gene, her husband, passed away 7 years prior. Every
> > day my step-mom had to deal with the issue of passing the news on to her
> > mother that her husband of 55 years had already gone. Then the wailing
> > and
> > weeping would begin anew. Tell me, what's better in that situation? To
> > wish someone to pass on or wish them life?
> >
> > Jill's going through a lot right now. Please cut her some slack.
>
> Nicely put kili and thank you for your input!
>
> O

Agreed.

Well put O.
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
Steve Wertz > wrote:

> On Sun, 30 Jul 2006 16:28:02 GMT, Ophelia wrote:
>
> > Thank you kili! It seems that some people are so up their own jacksies
> > that
> > they don't really listen!!
>
> With all her stories about parents she posts here, you'd think
> the subject of alzheimers would have been mentioned by now.
>
> Call me a skeptic (or an asshole), but Jill's pretty easy to read
> and I doubt her "diagnosis".
>
> -sw

Steve, please, for once come down off of your high horse and have a
little compassion!

It's good for the soul.........

Cheers!
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

In article >,
"jmcquown" > wrote:

> Goomba38 wrote:
> > jmcquown wrote:
> >
> >> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is
> >> not an option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win,
> >> and her husband are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
> >> There aren't exactly lots of nursing homes in the Beaufort area.
> >> I'm not sure she would have any idea how do do that.
> >
> > So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
> > little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
>
> I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he doesn't
> want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???
>
> Jill

Accept the hugs that are offered here and keep on keepin' on.
I feel for you dear! Just go with the flow from day to day.
There is not much else you can do!
--
Peace!
Om

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch"
-- Jack Nicholson

The Cook wrote:
> On Sun, 30 Jul 2006 14:32:14 -0500, "jmcquown"
> > wrote:
>
>> Goomba38 wrote:
>>> jmcquown wrote:
>>>
>>>> You should meet my father... then you'd realize a nursing home is
>>>> not an option he'd take to nicely. His older sister, my aunt Win,
>>>> and her husband are happy to live in an assisted living faciltiy.
>>>> There aren't exactly lots of nursing homes in the Beaufort area.
>>>> I'm not sure she would have any idea how do do that.
>>>
>>> So why don't you move home and help take care of him? And provide a
>>> little respite for your mother? You've got time on your hands.
>>
>> I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he
>> doesn't want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???
>>
>> Jill
>>
>
> What does you mother say? Does she have no input into the situation?
> Or do you have a man with dementia calling the shots?
>
You made the point succinctly. She has no input. We're talking about a
woman who has never had a job in her life. She has occasionally stood up
for herself but really, she won't write a check without permission. She's
never been a position to have any say in anything; she was raised to believe
the MAN is in control because he was the breadwinner. It's the way things
were and the way things still are in her world.

> Just to let you know that I do understand, my mother died from
> Alzheimer. I made the decisions even tho she did not like them. There
> is nothing like driving 200 miles with you mother crying all the way.
> (Moving her to where we lived.)

I am very sorry to hear that. It's not something I wish on anyone. My mom
is more cognizant than my father, although I will say she called me on my
birthday last week and then didn't remember why she had called me. Then she
had to ask me how old I am. (sigh)

I don't have the funds to move my parents anywhere, nor do I have the funds
to move their without their assistance. So... I guess we're all just sort
of stuck being unhappy.

Jill

Ophelia wrote:

> Thank you kili! It seems that some people are so up their own jacksies that
> they don't really listen!!
>
> Goomba..... listen ... please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Just for once put aside
> your 'know all' ego and listen!!!

Ooooh... maybe we could hold a fund raiser for her too!?

jmcquown wrote:

> I have offered! I'm told I'm not wanted. Dad specifically said he doesn't
> want me to move there. So what am I supposed to do???
>
> Jill

tell him you're there for your MOM then. And just be there for her and
support her. He might come around, and he might not.. but your mom has
as much need for support and is half owner of the house and has as much
say in what goes on as anyone. Or at least she should.

Mr Libido Incognito wrote:

>
> Ignore him and go...If he gives you grief tell him you're there for mom.
>
Yup, that's what i just typed out too.

jmcquown wrote:

> You made the point succinctly. She has no input. We're talking about a
> woman who has never had a job in her life. She has occasionally stood up
> for herself but really, she won't write a check without permission. She's
> never been a position to have any say in anything; she was raised to believe
> the MAN is in control because he was the breadwinner. It's the way things
> were and the way things still are in her world.
>
And where will she be when he can't control the check writing any more?
Women have been advised to be careful to not be in the dark on financial
matters and participate in their own household decisions for just the
reason that if the breadwinner wasn't there anymore what would they be
able to do?
You should pack a bag, go spend a long visit with mom and help her see
she's not some emotional slave to bygone chauvinism. Most military wives
are quite independent as they are required to hold the fort down while
the military man is away. Did she forget?