Hospital admin or individual ward admin would know what time doctors
make rounds. Here it is pretty much the same time 7 days a week (between
8 and 9am). They want to get it over before going off to private
practice etc.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "W. Baker" > wrote in message
> ...
>> Julie Bove > wrote:
>>
>> : "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> : ...
>> : > you need to discuss this with the doc without them around, i
>> really hate
>> : > saying that but if you want them healthy, and if you want to not
>> be blamed
>> : > for a health issue not of your making you are going to have to
>> get some
>> : > rules set out, Lee
>>
>> : Alas I have not seen a Dr. when I was visiting.
>>
>> GEt a name and phone number and contact hir if your Mom is not fully
>> able
>> to get instructions or infomtion clear.
>
> I'm not sure they could talk to me with the HIPAA laws being what they
> are.
>
>

In article >,
"Storrmmee" > wrote:

> i meant for you to make a profit, as long as its paid for and you enjoy it
> and don't need the money there is only one reason to sell, which is profit,
> but then this gets back to my original point, why say its an investment if
> you are going to continue to live in it, no income there, Lee

I build equity every time I make a payment on a house I own. Every
mortgage payment increases my net worth and reduces the federal taxes I
pay.

When I rented, every penny I spent in rent went into the landlord's
pocket.

On the one hand: owning means every month my net worth increases.
On the other hand: renting doesn't do me any good beyond not being
evicted.

Sounds to me like owning is an investment.

PP
--
"What you fail to understand is that criticising established authority by means
of argument and evidence is a crucial aspect of how science works."
- Chris Malcolm

"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
has.
>
> If he can't go to the bathroom by himself, or walk around, or shower, or
> many other of life's activities, he may not have the choice, unless your
> mother is a trained health care aid and strong and is willing to devote
> herself entirely to being there to take care of him. Evenif he gets
> better over time, there will be a loooooong convelescence. How old is he?
> that can also affect how wel lhe can recuperate and how long it will take.
> Strokes can be fairly mild or very terrible, It sounds like he is in tthe
> middle somewhere, but it take a strong ewill, hard work and time even in
> the best of cases unless it is caught in the firs 3 hours and he gets the
> shot that dissovles the clot. If he finds he canno accept paid help, and
> your mother cannot handle it he may well find himself in a nursing home
> before very long, even if it might not be fully necessary. In that case,
> once he has used up his savings etc, he will, most liki=y go on Medicade
> to pay the home and there will be a lien on his house so it can't be sold
> unless the State gets it money back that it has paid out for the nursing
> home.
>
He is 80. He can do everything by himself. But in the hospital he isn't
supposed to. The bed has an alarm on it that plays "Mary Has A Little Lamb"
if the patient gets up. What he seems not to know how to do is to push the
button for the nurse when he does go. Or it could just be because he is so
stubborn. He is very stubborn and will just do what he wants.

I don't want to get too much into specifics here but it seems that the only
problems he has is with memory and it doesn't apply to all things. But he
also is hard of hearing, has ADHD and in normal life likes to give silly
answers for things. He likes to make people laugh. So some of the answers
he is giving to questions right now do not seem out of line for him in his
answers to Angela and I. But it is clear in other areas there is something
lacking. This could get better. We just don't know. For instance he was
asked to name all of the animals he could in a minute. At first he could
only name cat and dog, perhaps because those are the pets that the family
(not him but others) have. So she told him to think of the zoo. And he did
that little jingle of "Lions and tigers and bears, oh my!"

> I sincerely hope he recouperates adn can resume a normal or close to
> normal life, but that cannot be asured at this time and what the physical
> therrapy community considers functinal may well NOT be where he was befoe
> or where he and your mother would like him to be. Sorry to be so blunt,
> but I have seen so much of this in my life. In famillies with little
> money who want to avoid nusrsing homes, the kids have to do a great deal
> to help out, either pysicall taking care orf that is impossible, in doign
> the shopping, managing, just baby sittingso mom can get out for a little
> time, etc.

I don't have a lot of experience with strokes. They say my MIL has had two
that went undiagnosed. We don't know when she had them. She has trouble
with speech and motor coordination. Can not walk at all and can't control
her arms and hands any more. At times her head shakes. But she does have
additional medical problems such as a form of palsy. Her mind though seems
to be tracking well most of the time.

My friend had a stroke at a young age. I was living elsewhere when it
happened. Her husband said she was embarrassed to talk on the phone with me
because it did affect her speech. And it did affect her motor coordination
so she couldn't write. I continued to write letters to her. Her speech
never came back but apparently the motor stuff did. Her daughter told me on
the day that she died, she had taken her sister to the mall to get Christmas
presents. Her heart gave out later that night and that was the end of her.
She had a rare medical condition that both of her parents also had and died
from. It can attack any part of the body. She was also on dialysis for
many years.

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
> Hospital admin or individual ward admin would know what time doctors make
> rounds. Here it is pretty much the same time 7 days a week (between 8 and
> 9am). They want to get it over before going off to private practice etc.

That's what I figured and it's unlikely we could get there at that time.
Angela doesn't leave for school until about 7:30 and I have to see her off.
It would be a very time consuming drive into downtown Seattle at that time.

I couldn't agree more, and what they simply MUST understand, is that once
socail services gets into it, finding him not clean/fed or whatever its
really downhill fom there, even if the day they find it is the first day
your mom just needed an extra hour of sleep and hadn't gotten him cleaned up
yet, Lee
"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Julie Bove > wrote:
>
> : "W. Baker" > wrote in message
> : ...
> : > If your Dad is on regular medicare, not an advantage plan(Ieach of
> those
> : > works differently) he should get certain home care once he is ou of
> the
> : > rehab. with Syd it was 4 hours a day, 5 days a week, of home health
> aid,
> : > who can cook or do light cleaning and help with personal care, 3 times
> a
> : > week physical therapy and 3 times a week occupational therapy. this
> help
> : > decreases over time unti it disappears. It can help but you miht need
> to
> : > hire someone for more hours if your Mother can't handle everything.
>
>
> : They have a maid. They will not be in the house when she is in. He
> would
> : not put up with other people coming into the house. And I don't know
> what
> : kind of Medicare he has.
>
> If he can't go to the bathroom by himself, or walk around, or shower, or
> many other of life's activities, he may not have the choice, unless your
> mother is a trained health care aid and strong and is willing to devote
> herself entirely to being there to take care of him. Evenif he gets
> better over time, there will be a loooooong convelescence. How old is he?
> that can also affect how wel lhe can recuperate and how long it will take.
> Strokes can be fairly mild or very terrible, It sounds like he is in tthe
> middle somewhere, but it take a strong ewill, hard work and time even in
> the best of cases unless it is caught in the firs 3 hours and he gets the
> shot that dissovles the clot. If he finds he canno accept paid help, and
> your mother cannot handle it he may well find himself in a nursing home
> before very long, even if it might not be fully necessary. In that case,
> once he has used up his savings etc, he will, most liki=y go on Medicade
> to pay the home and there will be a lien on his house so it can't be sold
> unless the State gets it money back that it has paid out for the nursing
> home.
>
> I sincerely hope he recouperates adn can resume a normal or close to
> normal life, but that cannot be asured at this time and what the physical
> therrapy community considers functinal may well NOT be where he was befoe
> or where he and your mother would like him to be. Sorry to be so blunt,
> but I have seen so much of this in my life. In famillies with little
> money who want to avoid nusrsing homes, the kids have to do a great deal
> to help out, either pysicall taking care orf that is impossible, in doign
> the shopping, managing, just baby sittingso mom can get out for a little
> time, etc.
>
> Wendy
>
>

again just a difference in perspective, Lee
"Peppermint Patootie" > wrote in message
news
> In article >,
> "Storrmmee" > wrote:
>
>> i meant for you to make a profit, as long as its paid for and you enjoy
>> it
>> and don't need the money there is only one reason to sell, which is
>> profit,
>> but then this gets back to my original point, why say its an investment
>> if
>> you are going to continue to live in it, no income there, Lee
>
> I build equity every time I make a payment on a house I own. Every
> mortgage payment increases my net worth and reduces the federal taxes I
> pay.
>
> When I rented, every penny I spent in rent went into the landlord's
> pocket.
>
> On the one hand: owning means every month my net worth increases.
> On the other hand: renting doesn't do me any good beyond not being
> evicted.
>
> Sounds to me like owning is an investment.
>
> PP
> --
> "What you fail to understand is that criticising established authority by
> means
> of argument and evidence is a crucial aspect of how science works."
> - Chris
> Malcolm

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
>I couldn't agree more, and what they simply MUST understand, is that once
>socail services gets into it, finding him not clean/fed or whatever its
>really downhill fom there, even if the day they find it is the first day
>your mom just needed an extra hour of sleep and hadn't gotten him cleaned
>up yet, Lee

He is perfectly capable of washing, dressing and even fixing his own food.
It's getting the food into the house that's going to be the problem. They
don't like to keep much food in the house. I've had trouble with them in
the winter. Can't get them to see that they really must have food in the
house in case they get snowed in. They have gotten snowed in and had to eat
oatmeal day after day because they had nothing else.

They are both very stubborn though. And had I brought them a few bags of
food they would have just given it away. And no doubt it would have been
the wrong food for them. I had offered them the coupon I had for free eggs
and was told they would only eat one kind of eggs. And they are very brand
loyal. They don't necessarily eat organic food but they will not eat
anything they deem to be of low quality. Frankly some of what they do it is
IMO not high quality or healthy food. I just know I would not win if I
tried to bring them food.

while this is difficult, another thing socail services will get in your
business for is not enough food, lets just hope they will cooperate and at
least give you a list, its kinda sad, and what i want to help you avoid is
being put in the position of being responsible if they screw it up... my
brother has serious health issues, the reason i know about this is in part
because of his situation, and a friend of his issues that has caused my
brother being must more careful than he otherwise would have, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>I couldn't agree more, and what they simply MUST understand, is that once
>>socail services gets into it, finding him not clean/fed or whatever its
>>really downhill fom there, even if the day they find it is the first day
>>your mom just needed an extra hour of sleep and hadn't gotten him cleaned
>>up yet, Lee
>
> He is perfectly capable of washing, dressing and even fixing his own food.
> It's getting the food into the house that's going to be the problem. They
> don't like to keep much food in the house. I've had trouble with them in
> the winter. Can't get them to see that they really must have food in the
> house in case they get snowed in. They have gotten snowed in and had to
> eat oatmeal day after day because they had nothing else.
>
> They are both very stubborn though. And had I brought them a few bags of
> food they would have just given it away. And no doubt it would have been
> the wrong food for them. I had offered them the coupon I had for free
> eggs and was told they would only eat one kind of eggs. And they are very
> brand loyal. They don't necessarily eat organic food but they will not
> eat anything they deem to be of low quality. Frankly some of what they do
> it is IMO not high quality or healthy food. I just know I would not win
> if I tried to bring them food.
>

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
> while this is difficult, another thing socail services will get in your
> business for is not enough food, lets just hope they will cooperate and at
> least give you a list, its kinda sad, and what i want to help you avoid is
> being put in the position of being responsible if they screw it up... my
> brother has serious health issues, the reason i know about this is in part
> because of his situation, and a friend of his issues that has caused my
> brother being must more careful than he otherwise would have, Lee

It is odd because they do seem to hoard some things like soap and paper
goods. I think my dad lives in fear of running out of some things. Or
maybe it's not him. Maybe it's my mom.

We always had a full cupboard and freezer when I was growing up but now they
keep very little in the house.

that is odd and maybe you can get a better idea of what is going on, its
going to take work on both you and your brother's part, i sure do hope it
works out, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>> while this is difficult, another thing socail services will get in your
>> business for is not enough food, lets just hope they will cooperate and
>> at least give you a list, its kinda sad, and what i want to help you
>> avoid is being put in the position of being responsible if they screw it
>> up... my brother has serious health issues, the reason i know about this
>> is in part because of his situation, and a friend of his issues that has
>> caused my brother being must more careful than he otherwise would have,
>> Lee
>
> It is odd because they do seem to hoard some things like soap and paper
> goods. I think my dad lives in fear of running out of some things. Or
> maybe it's not him. Maybe it's my mom.
>
> We always had a full cupboard and freezer when I was growing up but now
> they keep very little in the house.
>

Julie Bove > wrote:

: "Robert Miles" > wrote in message
: .com...
: > On 9/5/2011 9:19 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
: >> Yes! I read that too. It said in some areas you had to dig down so
: >> deeply
: >> that you might as well put in a basement. But here in the Seattle area
: >> that
: >> was not necessary at all so basements just add expense to building the
: >> house.
: >
: > I once visited a rich family's house where they had a basement, a
: > sub-basement, and enough empty space under the sub-basement to
: > build another sub-basement level if they had wanted one. It was
: > built mostly just past the edge of a mountain top, where the
: > ground started slanting away at about a 45 degree angle.
: >
: > I've also visited a relative who had a basement and a sub-basement.
: > Also in a mountainous area, but not quite as slanted.
: >
: > In the areas where I've lived, it was easier to get a basement if
: > you chose a slanted property, facing a street on the highest side.

: Gee, I have never heard of a sub-basement.
They were very common in NManhattan under the brownstoe buildings put up
in the 19th century. You had a partially below level which woudl contain
the kitchen, connected by, not only a staircase, but a dumb waiter to get
the food up and the dishes down. Underthat there was an additional
basement, usually used for coal storage with an opening for a chute to get
the coal down. This was standard andaall built by diggine out that hard
Manhattan schist.

Wendy

On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
>> well.
>
> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for seniors
> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however has
> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very much
> in denial about herself.

Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.

On 9/6/2011 11:45 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
> "W. > wrote in message
> ...
>> Julie > wrote:
>>
>> : > wrote in message
>> : ...
>> :> you need to discuss this with the doc without them around, i really
>> hate
>> :> saying that but if you want them healthy, and if you want to not be
>> blamed
>> :> for a health issue not of your making you are going to have to get
>> some
>> :> rules set out, Lee
>>
>> : Alas I have not seen a Dr. when I was visiting.
>>
>> GEt a name and phone number and contact hir if your Mom is not fully able
>> to get instructions or infomtion clear.
>
> I'm not sure they could talk to me with the HIPAA laws being what they are.

You could at least ask the doctor how much talking is allowed.

For example, can you say what you want to the doctor, even if
the doctor isn't allowed to reply?

"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
>>> well.
>>
>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for seniors
>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however has
>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>> much
>> in denial about herself.
>
> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.

No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a home.
But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him into
going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to think
that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay for
it and they don't have the money to do it.

"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/6/2011 11:45 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> "W. > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Julie > wrote:
>>>
>>> : > wrote in message
>>> : ...
>>> :> you need to discuss this with the doc without them around, i really
>>> hate
>>> :> saying that but if you want them healthy, and if you want to not be
>>> blamed
>>> :> for a health issue not of your making you are going to have to get
>>> some
>>> :> rules set out, Lee
>>>
>>> : Alas I have not seen a Dr. when I was visiting.
>>>
>>> GEt a name and phone number and contact hir if your Mom is not fully
>>> able
>>> to get instructions or infomtion clear.
>>
>> I'm not sure they could talk to me with the HIPAA laws being what they
>> are.
>
> You could at least ask the doctor how much talking is allowed.
>
> For example, can you say what you want to the doctor, even if
> the doctor isn't allowed to reply?

My dad is home now. Has been for days.

On 9/6/2011 5:18 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
> "W. > wrote in message
> ...
[snip]
> I don't have a lot of experience with strokes. They say my MIL has had two
> that went undiagnosed. We don't know when she had them. She has trouble
> with speech and motor coordination. Can not walk at all and can't control
> her arms and hands any more. At times her head shakes. But she does have
> additional medical problems such as a form of palsy. Her mind though seems
> to be tracking well most of the time.

Then you may want to visit this website:

http://www.strokeboard.net/index.php

They have a section for stroke survivors and also one for stroke
caregivers. I don't recall if they also have one for other
relatives of stroke victims.

I've had too much experience with strokes. My mother had several
mini-strokes before she died, and I've had a stroke myself.

There's a significant variety in the effects of strokes, depending
on what part of the brain was affected.

On 9/11/2011 11:27 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
> "Robert > wrote in message
> .com...
>> On 9/6/2011 11:45 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>> "W. > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> Julie > wrote:
>>>>
>>>> : > wrote in message
>>>> : ...
>>>> :> you need to discuss this with the doc without them around, i really
>>>> hate
>>>> :> saying that but if you want them healthy, and if you want to not be
>>>> blamed
>>>> :> for a health issue not of your making you are going to have to get
>>>> some
>>>> :> rules set out, Lee
>>>>
>>>> : Alas I have not seen a Dr. when I was visiting.
>>>>
>>>> GEt a name and phone number and contact hir if your Mom is not fully
>>>> able
>>>> to get instructions or infomtion clear.
>>>
>>> I'm not sure they could talk to me with the HIPAA laws being what they
>>> are.
>>
>> You could at least ask the doctor how much talking is allowed.
>>
>> For example, can you say what you want to the doctor, even if
>> the doctor isn't allowed to reply?
>
> My dad is home now. Has been for days.

So I don't need to respond as much while reading the rest of
this thread.

How's he doing? Improved enough that your mother can handle
what he can't?

On 9/7/2011 2:39 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
>> I couldn't agree more, and what they simply MUST understand, is that once
>> socail services gets into it, finding him not clean/fed or whatever its
>> really downhill fom there, even if the day they find it is the first day
>> your mom just needed an extra hour of sleep and hadn't gotten him cleaned
>> up yet, Lee
>
> He is perfectly capable of washing, dressing and even fixing his own food.
> It's getting the food into the house that's going to be the problem. They
> don't like to keep much food in the house. I've had trouble with them in
> the winter. Can't get them to see that they really must have food in the
> house in case they get snowed in. They have gotten snowed in and had to eat
> oatmeal day after day because they had nothing else.
>
> They are both very stubborn though. And had I brought them a few bags of
> food they would have just given it away. And no doubt it would have been
> the wrong food for them. I had offered them the coupon I had for free eggs
> and was told they would only eat one kind of eggs. And they are very brand
> loyal. They don't necessarily eat organic food but they will not eat
> anything they deem to be of low quality. Frankly some of what they do it is
> IMO not high quality or healthy food. I just know I would not win if I
> tried to bring them food.

Have you thought of asking then what brands, and what varieties of
those brands, they want, so that you can make sure you only bring
them what they'll eat?

"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/6/2011 5:18 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> "W. > wrote in message
>> ...
> [snip]
>> I don't have a lot of experience with strokes. They say my MIL has had
>> two
>> that went undiagnosed. We don't know when she had them. She has trouble
>> with speech and motor coordination. Can not walk at all and can't
>> control
>> her arms and hands any more. At times her head shakes. But she does
>> have
>> additional medical problems such as a form of palsy. Her mind though
>> seems
>> to be tracking well most of the time.
>
> Then you may want to visit this website:
>
> http://www.strokeboard.net/index.php
>
> They have a section for stroke survivors and also one for stroke
> caregivers. I don't recall if they also have one for other
> relatives of stroke victims.
>
> I've had too much experience with strokes. My mother had several
> mini-strokes before she died, and I've had a stroke myself.
>
> There's a significant variety in the effects of strokes, depending
> on what part of the brain was affected.

I know that.

"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/11/2011 11:27 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> "Robert > wrote in message
>> .com...
>>> On 9/6/2011 11:45 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>> "W. > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> Julie > wrote:
>>>>>
>>>>> : > wrote in message
>>>>> : ...
>>>>> :> you need to discuss this with the doc without them around, i
>>>>> really
>>>>> hate
>>>>> :> saying that but if you want them healthy, and if you want to not
>>>>> be
>>>>> blamed
>>>>> :> for a health issue not of your making you are going to have to
>>>>> get
>>>>> some
>>>>> :> rules set out, Lee
>>>>>
>>>>> : Alas I have not seen a Dr. when I was visiting.
>>>>>
>>>>> GEt a name and phone number and contact hir if your Mom is not fully
>>>>> able
>>>>> to get instructions or infomtion clear.
>>>>
>>>> I'm not sure they could talk to me with the HIPAA laws being what they
>>>> are.
>>>
>>> You could at least ask the doctor how much talking is allowed.
>>>
>>> For example, can you say what you want to the doctor, even if
>>> the doctor isn't allowed to reply?
>>
>> My dad is home now. Has been for days.
>
> So I don't need to respond as much while reading the rest of
> this thread.
>
> How's he doing? Improved enough that your mother can handle
> what he can't?

The only thing that was affected was his memory. But give his ADHD and
hearing loss it is difficult to sort out what he can't remember or didn't
hear or wasn't paying attention to. He's not really *that* much different
than before.

"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/7/2011 2:39 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> I couldn't agree more, and what they simply MUST understand, is that
>>> once
>>> socail services gets into it, finding him not clean/fed or whatever its
>>> really downhill fom there, even if the day they find it is the first day
>>> your mom just needed an extra hour of sleep and hadn't gotten him
>>> cleaned
>>> up yet, Lee
>>
>> He is perfectly capable of washing, dressing and even fixing his own
>> food.
>> It's getting the food into the house that's going to be the problem.
>> They
>> don't like to keep much food in the house. I've had trouble with them in
>> the winter. Can't get them to see that they really must have food in the
>> house in case they get snowed in. They have gotten snowed in and had to
>> eat
>> oatmeal day after day because they had nothing else.
>>
>> They are both very stubborn though. And had I brought them a few bags of
>> food they would have just given it away. And no doubt it would have been
>> the wrong food for them. I had offered them the coupon I had for free
>> eggs
>> and was told they would only eat one kind of eggs. And they are very
>> brand
>> loyal. They don't necessarily eat organic food but they will not eat
>> anything they deem to be of low quality. Frankly some of what they do it
>> is
>> IMO not high quality or healthy food. I just know I would not win if I
>> tried to bring them food.
>
> Have you thought of asking then what brands, and what varieties of
> those brands, they want, so that you can make sure you only bring
> them what they'll eat?

That's what I did. But the problem is that my mom doesn't want to keep any
extra food in the house. I find it is far too expensive to shop the way she
wants me to. There is no way I could do that for myself. For instance,
they had a sale where if you bought any 3 Jell-O products you would get a
Catalina coupon for $2.00 of your next order. She only wanted 2 items. I
convinced her it would be better to get 3. The clerk allowed me to use the
coupon for my order. I then just had her pay me $2 less.

Today at Costco, Angela found that the Kirkland brand flushable wipes got
you almost twice as many wipes as the Cottonelle kind. We personally have
no issues with Kirkland brand and would have bought them. But when I called
my mom she sounded fearful of them and told me to buy the other brand.

I also found coupons in today's paper for some things that we bought
yesterday for her. I try to buy things that are on sale and if possible to
also use a coupon for them. I also stock up on things like pasta, cereal
and canned goods so that I am not constantly having to go to the store for
them. But I can't convince her to do this.

I did buy her the big box of sugar free Fudgesicles because they were on
sale and the small box was not.

I do understand part of why she is doing what she is doing. She wants to
have a limited amount of food in the house so they won't be tempted to
overeat. But... That just isn't feasible right now. I think they need to
stock up on staples.

On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> wrote:

>
>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
s.com...
>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>> > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
>>>> well.
>>>
>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for seniors
>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however has
>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>>> much
>>> in denial about herself.
>>
>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>
>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a home.
>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him into
>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to think
>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay for
>it and they don't have the money to do it.


Dear Julie,

I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
solutions.

Evelyn

"Evelyn" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> > wrote:
>
>>
>>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
ws.com...
>>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>> > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be
>>>>> inclined
>>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front
>>>>> what
>>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two
>>>>> young
>>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got
>>>>> on
>>>>> well.
>>>>
>>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for
>>>> seniors
>>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however
>>>> has
>>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>>>> much
>>>> in denial about herself.
>>>
>>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>>
>>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
>>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
>>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a
>>home.
>>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him
>>into
>>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to
>>think
>>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay
>>for
>>it and they don't have the money to do it.
>
>
> Dear Julie,
>
> I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
> alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
> surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
> solutions.

Thankfully I'm not involved in that one. But he does want to leave and that
is a problem. He will get in his car and drive somewhere. And then they
have to go find him.

On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 06:56:51 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> wrote:

>
>"Evelyn" > wrote in message
.. .
>> On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>> > wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
ews.com...
>>>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>>> > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be
>>>>>> inclined
>>>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front
>>>>>> what
>>>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two
>>>>>> young
>>>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got
>>>>>> on
>>>>>> well.
>>>>>
>>>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for
>>>>> seniors
>>>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however
>>>>> has
>>>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>>>>> much
>>>>> in denial about herself.
>>>>
>>>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>>>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>>>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>>>
>>>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
>>>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
>>>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a
>>>home.
>>>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him
>>>into
>>>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to
>>>think
>>>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay
>>>for
>>>it and they don't have the money to do it.
>>
>>
>> Dear Julie,
>>
>> I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
>> alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
>> surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
>> solutions.
>
>Thankfully I'm not involved in that one. But he does want to leave and that
>is a problem. He will get in his car and drive somewhere. And then they
>have to go find him.


On the newsgroup alt.support.alzheimers we encountered a lot of that.
The only way was to disable the car somehow. Yes, it is extremely
difficult. Thankfully, my 98 year old father quit driving on his
own. I have no idea how we would have dealt with that.

Evelyn

"Evelyn" > wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 06:56:51 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> > wrote:
>
>>
>>"Evelyn" > wrote in message
. ..
>>> On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
news.com...
>>>>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>>>> > wrote in message
>>>>>> ...
>>>>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be
>>>>>>> inclined
>>>>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front
>>>>>>> what
>>>>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to
>>>>>>> look
>>>>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two
>>>>>>> young
>>>>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always
>>>>>>> got
>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>> well.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for
>>>>>> seniors
>>>>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however
>>>>>> has
>>>>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is
>>>>>> very
>>>>>> much
>>>>>> in denial about herself.
>>>>>
>>>>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>>>>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>>>>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>>>>
>>>>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do
>>>>that.
>>>>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would
>>>>pay.
>>>>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a
>>>>home.
>>>>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him
>>>>into
>>>>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to
>>>>think
>>>>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay
>>>>for
>>>>it and they don't have the money to do it.
>>>
>>>
>>> Dear Julie,
>>>
>>> I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
>>> alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
>>> surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
>>> solutions.
>>
>>Thankfully I'm not involved in that one. But he does want to leave and
>>that
>>is a problem. He will get in his car and drive somewhere. And then they
>>have to go find him.
>
>
> On the newsgroup alt.support.alzheimers we encountered a lot of that.
> The only way was to disable the car somehow. Yes, it is extremely
> difficult. Thankfully, my 98 year old father quit driving on his
> own. I have no idea how we would have dealt with that.

My dad's car is parked over at my brother's house which is several miles
away. Of course he might still try to drive my mom's car. Too soon to tell
I guess.

Storrmmee wrote:
<snip>

>> That was the idea that tones of peole had and that was encouraged by
>> banks, realtos, etc who then sold houses with trick mortgages tht
>> went way up in interest rates afeter a few years. The assumptin was
>> that the house woul dbe worth so much more that the people who would
>> be unable to pay the high interest rates would be able to sell out
>> at the higher price and do the same thing al oer again.
>>
>> You may not have had the adjustable mortgage, but your husband had
>> the idea that many many people had and that ultimately led to the
>> finanial and housing crash that has led to the terrible current economy.
>> Your husband was far from alone. Many Americans kept
>> taking out money fromtheir houses by refinancing or takign out
>> second mortgages that when the housing prices fell, they were left
>> underwater(house worth less than mortgage). Wendy

All this is true, but just as an aside, I just want to point out that there
is nothing wrong with adjustable mortgages per se. We've had them for
decades, and always made out better than people with fixed. But an
adjustable mortgage ought to have both annual and lifetime limits on how
much it can adjust, and you ought to pay attention to the actual reset terms
(X percentage over Y rate), not just pick one with the lowest teaser rate
that enables you to qualify for the biggest mortgage. The people who went
wrong generally went for things like balloon mortgages, which have been
notoriously risky for decades, and other excessively risky constructs with
unrealistically low teaser rates followed by huge adjustments.

Not to mention the whole issue of loans being written with no income
verification...