"Evelyn" > wrote in message
...
> On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> > wrote:
>
>>
>>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
ws.com...
>>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>> > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be
>>>>> inclined
>>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front
>>>>> what
>>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two
>>>>> young
>>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got
>>>>> on
>>>>> well.
>>>>
>>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for
>>>> seniors
>>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however
>>>> has
>>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>>>> much
>>>> in denial about herself.
>>>
>>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>>
>>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
>>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
>>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a
>>home.
>>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him
>>into
>>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to
>>think
>>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay
>>for
>>it and they don't have the money to do it.
>
>
> Dear Julie,
>
> I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
> alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
> surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
> solutions.

Thankfully I'm not involved in that one. But he does want to leave and that
is a problem. He will get in his car and drive somewhere. And then they
have to go find him.