On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> wrote:

>
>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
s.com...
>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>> > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
>>>> well.
>>>
>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for seniors
>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however has
>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>>> much
>>> in denial about herself.
>>
>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>
>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a home.
>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him into
>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to think
>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay for
>it and they don't have the money to do it.


Dear Julie,

I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
solutions.

Evelyn