"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
.com...
> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be inclined
>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front what
>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to look
>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two young
>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always got on
>>> well.
>>
>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for seniors
>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however has
>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is very
>> much
>> in denial about herself.
>
> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.

No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do that.
Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would pay.
We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a home.
But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him into
going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to think
that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay for
it and they don't have the money to do it.