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Julie Bove[_2_] Julie Bove[_2_] is offline
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"Evelyn" > wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 12 Sep 2011 06:56:51 -0700, "Julie Bove"
> > wrote:
>
>>
>>"Evelyn" > wrote in message
. ..
>>> On Sun, 11 Sep 2011 21:27:27 -0700, "Julie Bove"
>>> > wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>"Robert Miles" > wrote in message
news.com...
>>>>> On 9/5/2011 11:30 PM, Julie Bove wrote:
>>>>>> > wrote in message
>>>>>> ...
>>>>>>> Given the relationship between Julie and her parents I would be
>>>>>>> inclined
>>>>>>> to start as I mean to go on. As you say, letting them know up front
>>>>>>> what
>>>>>>> you are willing/capable of doing. Not everyone has the ability to
>>>>>>> look
>>>>>>> after aging parents. Just before my mum went into a home I had two
>>>>>>> young
>>>>>>> babies. It was very stressful despite the fact that we had always
>>>>>>> got
>>>>>>> on
>>>>>>> well.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Angela and I have both suggested two facilities that we found for
>>>>>> seniors
>>>>>> but they were totally unwilling to even consider it. My mom however
>>>>>> has
>>>>>> mentioned that she might have to put my dad in a home. But she is
>>>>>> very
>>>>>> much
>>>>>> in denial about herself.
>>>>>
>>>>> Have you asked her to consider staying in the home for as long as your
>>>>> father is there? That should at least allow her to get used to it
>>>>> before she needs to make a final decision about whether to stay there.
>>>>
>>>>No. Why would I mention that? She knows she *might* be able to do
>>>>that.
>>>>Or might not. Most likely not. Depends on if their insurance would
>>>>pay.
>>>>We just went through this with my SIL's dad. He should really be in a
>>>>home.
>>>>But he is refusing. When his wife was in there they tried to talk him
>>>>into
>>>>going to help care for her. He is totally senile but he does seem to
>>>>think
>>>>that he is helping her. There was no way. Their insurance wouldn't pay
>>>>for
>>>>it and they don't have the money to do it.
>>>
>>>
>>> Dear Julie,
>>>
>>> I cared for my mother in law almost till she died, and she had
>>> alzheimers disease. They never want to leave their familiar
>>> surroundings. It is very difficult. I hope you find workable
>>> solutions.

>>
>>Thankfully I'm not involved in that one. But he does want to leave and
>>that
>>is a problem. He will get in his car and drive somewhere. And then they
>>have to go find him.

>
>
> On the newsgroup alt.support.alzheimers we encountered a lot of that.
> The only way was to disable the car somehow. Yes, it is extremely
> difficult. Thankfully, my 98 year old father quit driving on his
> own. I have no idea how we would have dealt with that.


My dad's car is parked over at my brother's house which is several miles
away. Of course he might still try to drive my mom's car. Too soon to tell
I guess.