"Brooklyn1" wrote in message
...

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> wrote:

>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>> Gary wrote:
>> >
>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
>>
>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
>> remembered.
>
>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
>
>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
>it doesn't bother me.
>
>Cindy Hamilton

From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
------------

Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I am
a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.

I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on others,
apart from my husband.

I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are in
contact about once a year by phone.

My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
...

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 12:35:46 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> > wrote:
>
> >On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> >> Gary wrote:
> >> >
> >> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
> >>
> >> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
> >> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
> >> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
> >> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
> >> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
> >> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
> >> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
> >> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
> >> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
> >> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
> >> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
> >> remembered.
> >
> >If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
> >difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
> >grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
> >and my estate is welcome to do the same.
> >
> >Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
> >to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
> >met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
> >basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
> >it doesn't bother me.
> >
> >Cindy Hamilton
>
> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.

Oh, I'll always have me. I've always been my own best friend,
even before I met my husband.

Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty
typical of the breed.

Cindy Hamilton
---

Yes. I recognise myself.



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Brooklyn1" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> > wrote:
>
>>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>>> Gary wrote:
>>> >
>>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
>>>
>>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
>>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
>>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
>>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
>>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
>>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
>>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
>>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
>>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
>>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
>>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
>>> remembered.
>>
>>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
>>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
>>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
>>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
>>
>>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
>>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
>>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
>>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
>>it doesn't bother me.
>>
>>Cindy Hamilton
>
> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
> ------------
>
> Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I
> am a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.
>
> I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on
> others, apart from my husband.
>
> I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are
> in
> contact about once a year by phone.
>
> My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.

Well said. I have 3 life long friends, one from grade school who lives far
away so we don't see each other except every few years talk about once a
month, one from high school who is now in a rest home with alzheimer's which
I do see weekly, but she doesn't know it, and one from when were first
married whom I speak to every day and have for the past 52 years, I see her
about once a week. Other than that, just some acquaintances that I might see
once a month at a club thing or something.

Cheri

"Cheri" wrote in message ...


"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Brooklyn1" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> > wrote:
>
>>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>>> Gary wrote:
>>> >
>>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
>>>
>>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
>>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
>>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
>>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
>>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
>>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
>>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
>>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
>>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
>>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
>>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
>>> remembered.
>>
>>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
>>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
>>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
>>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
>>
>>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
>>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
>>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
>>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
>>it doesn't bother me.
>>
>>Cindy Hamilton
>
> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
> ------------
>
> Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I
> am a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.
>
> I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on
> others, apart from my husband.
>
> I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are
> in
> contact about once a year by phone.
>
> My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.

Well said. I have 3 life long friends, one from grade school who lives far
away so we don't see each other except every few years talk about once a
month, one from high school who is now in a rest home with alzheimer's which
I do see weekly, but she doesn't know it, and one from when were first
married whom I speak to every day and have for the past 52 years, I see her
about once a week. Other than that, just some acquaintances that I might see
once a month at a club thing or something.

Cheri
--------------

Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me





--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...

> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me

No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company, so
not much need for a whole lot of friends.

Cheri

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 12:22:24 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>
>"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>
>> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me
>
>No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
>country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company, so
>not much need for a whole lot of friends.
>
>Cheri

Whereas I became an only child at 15 when my brother was killed - my
parents were both gone before I was 30. I recently lost my BFF we
were at school together but I have friends here I value greatly and
would hate to lose.

We have mainly dropped out of the habit of dinner parties and now go
for just the wine and great conversation and perhaps a few nibbles.
I've been a widow for 20 years but they never excluded me from the
group although most of them still have their spouses. They are the
people I can bounce ideas off, argue politics and just generally love
and enjoy.

> wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 12:22:24 -0700, "Cheri" >
> wrote:
>
>>
>>"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>>
>>> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me
>>
>>No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
>>country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company,
>>so
>>not much need for a whole lot of friends.
>>
>>Cheri
>
> Whereas I became an only child at 15 when my brother was killed - my
> parents were both gone before I was 30. I recently lost my BFF we
> were at school together but I have friends here I value greatly and
> would hate to lose.
>
> We have mainly dropped out of the habit of dinner parties and now go
> for just the wine and great conversation and perhaps a few nibbles.
> I've been a widow for 20 years but they never excluded me from the
> group although most of them still have their spouses. They are the
> people I can bounce ideas off, argue politics and just generally love
> and enjoy.

Different personalities have different priorities, my parents both died when
they were 59, I was 32 when my dad died, 34 when my mom died, my youngest
sis was only 18 so that made all of us kids even closer, spending most of
our free time together.

Cheri

"Cheri" wrote in message ...


"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...

> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me

No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company, so
not much need for a whole lot of friends.

Cheri
------------

OK) You do sound like me a bit though))

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 13:13:47 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>
> wrote in message
.. .
>> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 12:22:24 -0700, "Cheri" >
>> wrote:
>>
>>>
>>>"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>>>
>>>> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me
>>>
>>>No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
>>>country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company,
>>>so
>>>not much need for a whole lot of friends.
>>>
>>>Cheri
>>
>> Whereas I became an only child at 15 when my brother was killed - my
>> parents were both gone before I was 30. I recently lost my BFF we
>> were at school together but I have friends here I value greatly and
>> would hate to lose.
>>
>> We have mainly dropped out of the habit of dinner parties and now go
>> for just the wine and great conversation and perhaps a few nibbles.
>> I've been a widow for 20 years but they never excluded me from the
>> group although most of them still have their spouses. They are the
>> people I can bounce ideas off, argue politics and just generally love
>> and enjoy.
>
>Different personalities have different priorities, my parents both died when
>they were 59, I was 32 when my dad died, 34 when my mom died, my youngest
>sis was only 18 so that made all of us kids even closer, spending most of
>our free time together.
>
>Cheri

I was very close to my brother and it was traumatic to have to
identify his broken body - they would never make a 15 year old do that
today. I envy you with six siblings but that didn't happen for me, I
was lucky to have good friends who lifted me up.

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Cheri" wrote in message ...
>
>
> "Ophelia" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me
>
> No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in the
> country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for company,
> so
> not much need for a whole lot of friends.
>
> Cheri
> ------------
>
> OK) You do sound like me a bit though))

Great minds.

Cheri

> wrote in message
...
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 13:13:47 -0700, "Cheri" >
> wrote:
>
>>
> wrote in message
. ..
>>> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 12:22:24 -0700, "Cheri" >
>>> wrote:
>>>
>>>>
>>>>"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>>>>
>>>>> Cheri, were you an only child too? You sound a lot like me
>>>>
>>>>No, I come from a family of 7 children, 4 of us left now. We lived in
>>>>the
>>>>country and have always surrounded ourselves with each other for
>>>>company,
>>>>so
>>>>not much need for a whole lot of friends.
>>>>
>>>>Cheri
>>>
>>> Whereas I became an only child at 15 when my brother was killed - my
>>> parents were both gone before I was 30. I recently lost my BFF we
>>> were at school together but I have friends here I value greatly and
>>> would hate to lose.
>>>
>>> We have mainly dropped out of the habit of dinner parties and now go
>>> for just the wine and great conversation and perhaps a few nibbles.
>>> I've been a widow for 20 years but they never excluded me from the
>>> group although most of them still have their spouses. They are the
>>> people I can bounce ideas off, argue politics and just generally love
>>> and enjoy.
>>
>>Different personalities have different priorities, my parents both died
>>when
>>they were 59, I was 32 when my dad died, 34 when my mom died, my youngest
>>sis was only 18 so that made all of us kids even closer, spending most of
>>our free time together.
>>
>>Cheri
>
> I was very close to my brother and it was traumatic to have to
> identify his broken body - they would never make a 15 year old do that
> today. I envy you with six siblings but that didn't happen for me, I
> was lucky to have good friends who lifted me up.

Every one of my siblings deaths have been extremely hard for me, life goes
on...just never quite as good again. I'm sorry about your brother, I'm sure
it was very hard. Fortunately, my family and a couple of lifelong friends
lift me up, and I am done with this sad thread.

Cheri

Ophelia wrote:
> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
> ...
>
> Ophelia wrote:
>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>> ...


>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>
>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>> ---------------
>>
>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>
> I mean how would everyone react
> ---------------
>
> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
>
> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>
> Would you have a problem with it?

I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
more in traffic reports.

Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
not give it a second thought.

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 21:24:09 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle
> wrote:

>Ophelia wrote:
>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> Ophelia wrote:
>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>> ...
>
>
>>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
>>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>>
>>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>>> ---------------
>>>
>>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>>
>> I mean how would everyone react
>> ---------------
>>
>> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
>>
>> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
>> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>>
>> Would you have a problem with it?
>
>I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
>at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
>more in traffic reports.
>
>Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
>my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
>experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
>and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
>the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
>those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
>not give it a second thought.

I think it started with Diana and laying flower at Kensington Palace.
It has become popular here too and I can't say I care for it. Many
seem to be doing it for the publicity they may get.

OTOH when someone is killed by a drunk driver and they erect a
memorial on the site, I feel that's a good idea. Some people need to
realise how often it happens

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 4:46:12 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 21:24:09 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle
> > wrote:
> >
> >Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
> >was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
> >of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
> >relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.
>
> I think it started with Diana and laying flower at Kensington Palace.
> It has become popular here too and I can't say I care for it. Many
> seem to be doing it for the publicity they may get.
>
>
Roadside memorials have been done here before Diana ever set foot
on this earth. It's a custom I've seen here since I was a small
child.

On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:

> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.

I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here.
Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award
nominations because the people killed were the authors of their
misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road
where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents
injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local
residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The
other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the
casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the
deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to
the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother.

The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost
control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least
bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next
closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in
excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill
and slammed into the rock beside the road.

Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn.
The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was
early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home
from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come
flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It
happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the
other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a
gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and
slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of
his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft.

Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on
their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was
distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on
front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them.
They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally
unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place
to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was
killed by his stupidity.





So
> my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
> experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
> and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
> the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
> those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
> not give it a second thought.
>

On 2016-08-22 5:46 PM, wrote:

> OTOH when someone is killed by a drunk driver and they erect a
> memorial on the site, I feel that's a good idea. Some people need to
> realise how often it happens
>


Things vary from one place to another, but from what I have seen around
here, the memorials are not made for the innocent victims. They tend to
be erected in honour of someone who was killed as a result of their own
actions.

On 8/22/2016 3:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
> Ophelia wrote:
>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> Ophelia wrote:
>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>> ...
>
>
>>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
>>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>>
>>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>>> ---------------
>>>
>>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>>
>> I mean how would everyone react
>> ---------------
>>
>> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
>>
>> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
>> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>>
>> Would you have a problem with it?
>
> I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
> at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
> more in traffic reports.
>
> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
> my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
> experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
> and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
> the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
> those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
> not give it a second thought.
>
I really don't understand the reasons for these memorials. A kid gets
killed and flowers, balloons, dolls and teddy bears litter the road
junction or front lawn. It seems to be some primordial response.
Calgary had a policy of allowing the memorial to remain on public
property for one season before being removed but the public outcry was
such that they have backed down. However, they have stopped people
building elaborate ones, sometimes bricks and mortar!!
Graham

Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
>
>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.
>
> I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here.
> Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award
> nominations because the people killed were the authors of their
> misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road
> where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents
> injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local
> residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The
> other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the
> casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the
> deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to
> the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother.
>
> The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost
> control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least
> bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next
> closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in
> excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill
> and slammed into the rock beside the road.
>
> Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn.
> The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was
> early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home
> from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come
> flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It
> happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the
> other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a
> gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and
> slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of
> his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft.
>
> Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on
> their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was
> distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on
> front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them.
> They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally
> unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place
> to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was
> killed by his stupidity.

"A myriad of men* are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread;
they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean
advantages over each other. Age creeps upon them; infirmities follow;
shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities. Those
they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching
grief. The burden of pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year. At
length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for
release is in their place. It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift
ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no
consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a
failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed -
a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever. Then
another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along
the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished - to make room
for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same
arid path through the same desert and accomplish what the first myriad
and all the myriads that came after it accomplished - nothing!"

* and women

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 16:54:13 -0600, graham > wrote:

>On 8/22/2016 3:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
>> Ophelia wrote:
>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>
>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>
>>
>>>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
>>>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>>>
>>>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>>>> ---------------
>>>>
>>>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>>>
>>> I mean how would everyone react
>>> ---------------
>>>
>>> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
>>>
>>> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
>>> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>>>
>>> Would you have a problem with it?
>>
>> I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
>> at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
>> more in traffic reports.
>>
>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
>> my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
>> experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
>> and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
>> the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
>> those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
>> not give it a second thought.
>>
>I really don't understand the reasons for these memorials. A kid gets
>killed and flowers, balloons, dolls and teddy bears litter the road
>junction or front lawn. It seems to be some primordial response.
>Calgary had a policy of allowing the memorial to remain on public
>property for one season before being removed but the public outcry was
>such that they have backed down. However, they have stopped people
>building elaborate ones, sometimes bricks and mortar!!
>Graham

When I lived outside town a child was killed who darted across the
road to the school bus. People put flowers, stuffed animals and
teddies there, snow came, the snow plough pumped snow all over them
and it looked hideous. People seemed to forget his parents lived
right there, it must have been bad enough to know he was killed just
5/6 feet from the driveway. In the end they moved and I could just
see why.

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 10:59:38 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:

>
>"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
>> "Brooklyn1" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
>> > wrote:
>>
>>>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
>>>> Gary wrote:
>>>> >
>>>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
>>>>
>>>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
>>>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
>>>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
>>>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
>>>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
>>>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
>>>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
>>>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
>>>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
>>>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
>>>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
>>>> remembered.
>>>
>>>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
>>>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
>>>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
>>>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
>>>
>>>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
>>>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
>>>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
>>>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
>>>it doesn't bother me.
>>>
>>>Cindy Hamilton
>>
>> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
>> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
>> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
>> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
>> ------------
>>
>> Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I
>> am a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.
>>
>> I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on
>> others, apart from my husband.
>>
>> I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are
>> in
>> contact about once a year by phone.
>>
>> My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.
>
>Well said. I have 3 life long friends, one from grade school who lives far
>away so we don't see each other except every few years talk about once a
>month, one from high school who is now in a rest home with alzheimer's which
>I do see weekly, but she doesn't know it, and one from when were first
>married whom I speak to every day and have for the past 52 years, I see her
>about once a week. Other than that, just some acquaintances that I might see
>once a month at a club thing or something.
>
>Cheri

Cindy said she has NO friends. Most older people have only a few
friends, as many as fingers of one hand, the rest are aquaintances.
Typically as people age their friends pass on and they are very
difficult to replace with new people as they have no shared history.
I've known only children, typically they have the most friends, they
tend to befriend other only children. I've found only children to be
very controling, perhaps why they gravitate towards people like
themselves.

On 2016-08-22 7:16 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:

> Cindy said she has NO friends. Most older people have only a few
> friends, as many as fingers of one hand, the rest are aquaintances.
> Typically as people age their friends pass on and they are very
> difficult to replace with new people as they have no shared history.

Perhaps the concept of close friends is more important to us in our
youth. Those old friends are hard to replace. My wife had a BBF from
the time they were 3 years old. She had a lot of other friends over the
years but her she always had a special bond with Mary. Unfortunately,
Mary died at the age of 53. She was out shopping with her husband and
told him she didn't feel well... and then she was gone.

Megatron is extemely outgoing. If she goes to a party she will make a
point of meeting everyone present. She will do her best to introduce
people to everyone else. She is involved in a lot of organizations and
has a lot of acquaintances though those things, and has a lot of
friends, but, after close to 20 years, she has not developed friendships
as close as she and Mary had.

On 8/22/2016 6:22 AM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:


> Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
> to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
> met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
> basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
> it doesn't bother me.
>
> Cindy Hamilton
>

Most people only ever have one or two really true friends. I've known
people that think they have many friends, but when you need help they
vanish.

If my wife goes first, I'll keep just a small vial or locket of ashes as
a remembrance, the rest will be scattered. If I go first, she is
welcome to do as she pleases.

On 8/22/2016 2:14 AM, Ophelia wrote:

>
> Of course she was. They make a fortune from ripping off the relatives
> of dead people.
>
> I prefer to leave what I have to the children and grands.
>
Our two kids want us to enjoy it now. I'm trying!

In article >, says...
>
> On 8/22/2016 3:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
> > Ophelia wrote:
> >> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
> >> ...
> >>
> >> Ophelia wrote:
> >>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
> >>> ...
> >
> >
> >>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
> >>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
> >>>
> >>> no need to bore your friends with it though
> >>> ---------------
> >>>
> >>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
> >>
> >> I mean how would everyone react
> >> ---------------
> >>
> >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
> >>
> >> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
> >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
> >>
> >> Would you have a problem with it?
> >
> > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
> > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
> > more in traffic reports.
> >
> > Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
> > was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
> > of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
> > relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
> > my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
> > experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
> > and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
> > the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
> > those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
> > not give it a second thought.
> >
> I really don't understand the reasons for these memorials. A kid gets
> killed and flowers, balloons, dolls and teddy bears litter the road
> junction or front lawn. It seems to be some primordial response.

Hardly. It's media driven; they saw it on TV. All that football
scarves//cuddly toys/trite messages to the dead crap is just a few
decades old.


> Calgary had a policy of allowing the memorial to remain on public
> property for one season before being removed but the public outcry was
> such that they have backed down. However, they have stopped people

There's one here on a dangerous bend. Years ago someone was knocked
off their bike by a car and died in hospital later. The family put a
florist bouquest (still in paper) at the spot right at the road edge.
They do the same every year since, on the death anniversary but with
more flowers each time. It's a distraction to drivers; and this is a
busy tourism area, there are many foreign visitors, whole families
wobbling along on hired bikes, or coping with driving a car on the left
on very narrow windy roads.

How can the family risk causing another accident on the same spot, to
someone else's son or daughter? What a memorial that would be :-(

Janet UK

Here in the Midwest US, the only roadside memorials are those erected at the
site of a fatal accident of some kind. They have been around since way before
I was born, I'm sure.

N.

Ed Pawlowski wrote:
>Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> Of course she was. They make a fortune from ripping off the relatives
>> of dead people.
>>
>> I prefer to leave what I have to the children and grands.
>>
>Our two kids want us to enjoy it now. I'm trying!

I already purchased a double burial plot at the local cemetary in
town, and also two engraved granite kitchen counters for grave stones.
It's fairly easy to prepare for ones demise, the local funeral parlor
sees to the details and have a lawyer create your will... it all costs
a whole lot less doing it in advance than leaving it to others after
the fact. A double plot with forever care that included burial cost
only $1,200.. I don't belive in any god so there'll be no religious
ceremony... there'll be an obit in the local newspaper. The two very
nice engraved granite grave stones cost $4,800. I didn't pay for any
fancy schmancy funeral service, no limos, no hearse, if any one wants
to attend my burial it's totally their choice, but I believe a person
who has lived a life deserves a marked grave... even all my deceased
cats have marked graves, they each have a large engraved granite head
stone. I dug the graves and etched their some 200 pound granite with
hammer and chisel. Each spring a few large granite fieldstone slabs
emerge in my lawn so I dig them up and tractor them to the hedgerow
where I have a cat cemetery. Had I wanted I could have applied to the
town clerk for a permit to have a family cemetery on this property,
many of the old timers here have exactly that, there are manym small
pre revelutionary cemetaries here, there are geneology clubs who's
hobby is to record the history. The woman who lived in this house
previouly is one of those geneologists, she's written books about who
has lived in this area.

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016, wrote:

> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 21:24:09 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle
> > wrote:
>
>> Ophelia wrote:
>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>
>>> Ophelia wrote:
>>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>
>>
>>>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen after
>>>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>>>
>>>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>>>> ---------------
>>>>
>>>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>>>
>>> I mean how would everyone react
>>> ---------------
>>>
>>> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done <g>
>>>
>>> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone to
>>> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>>>
>>> Would you have a problem with it?
>>
>> I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
>> at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
>> more in traffic reports.
>>
>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
>> my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
>> experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
>> and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
>> the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
>> those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
>> not give it a second thought.
>
> I think it started with Diana and laying flower at Kensington Palace.
> It has become popular here too and I can't say I care for it. Many
> seem to be doing it for the publicity they may get.

Here in the US, I remember seeing many crosses on the roads and highways,
dating back to my childhood, some 50 years ago, so marking the place of a
roadway death isn't a new thing. The candles and fake flowers and stuffed
animals and stuff, that's a newer thing.

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016, wrote:

> On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 4:46:12 PM UTC-5, wrote:
>>
>> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 21:24:09 +0000 (UTC), tert in seattle
>> > wrote:
>>>
>>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.
>>
>> I think it started with Diana and laying flower at Kensington Palace.
>> It has become popular here too and I can't say I care for it. Many
>> seem to be doing it for the publicity they may get.
>>
>>
> Roadside memorials have been done here before Diana ever set foot
> on this earth. It's a custom I've seen here since I was a small
> child.
>

yes, this. I replied before I saw your post.

On Mon, 22 Aug 2016, tert in seattle wrote:

> Dave Smith wrote:
>> On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
>>
>>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.
>>
>> I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here.
>> Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award
>> nominations because the people killed were the authors of their
>> misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road
>> where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents
>> injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local
>> residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The
>> other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the
>> casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the
>> deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to
>> the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother.
>>
>> The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost
>> control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least
>> bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next
>> closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in
>> excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill
>> and slammed into the rock beside the road.
>>
>> Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn.
>> The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was
>> early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home
>> from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come
>> flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It
>> happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the
>> other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a
>> gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and
>> slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of
>> his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft.
>>
>> Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on
>> their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was
>> distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on
>> front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them.
>> They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally
>> unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place
>> to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was
>> killed by his stupidity.
>
> "A myriad of men* are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread;
> they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean
> advantages over each other. Age creeps upon them; infirmities follow;
> shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities. Those
> they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching
> grief. The burden of pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year. At
> length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for
> release is in their place. It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift
> ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no
> consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a
> failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed -
> a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever. Then
> another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along
> the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished - to make room
> for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same
> arid path through the same desert and accomplish what the first myriad
> and all the myriads that came after it accomplished - nothing!"
>
> * and women


CITE!

On Sun, 21 Aug 2016 23:01:15 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote:
>
> "Brooklyn1" > wrote in message
> ...
> > Gary wrote:
> >>
> >>I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
> >
> > That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
> > you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
> > you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
> > must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
> > yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
> > can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
> > you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
> > think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
> > value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
> > who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
> > the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
> > remembered.
>
> What a crock, no need to leave a decaying body as proof of an existence,
> Hell...even *your* posts will be around long after you are, what more proof
> do you need?
>
The thought of cremation creeps me out too, but I can't say regular
burial is a family tradition - because all 4 grandparents and both of
my parents were cremated. I don't care about grave markers but if I'm
planted, I want a tree over my grave. If they burn me up and scatter
my ashes, I'd like a memorial bench at the zoo set up in front of the
giraffe enclosure because watching the giraffes was something I did a
lot with my children when they were young. We live close to the zoo,
so it was easy to visit (often more than once a week) and had a family
pass for many years.

--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.

"tert in seattle" wrote in message
...

Ophelia wrote:
> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
> ...
>
> Ophelia wrote:
>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>> ...


>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen
>> after
>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>
>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>> ---------------
>>
>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>
> I mean how would everyone react
> ---------------
>
> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done
> <g>
>
> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone
> to
> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>
> Would you have a problem with it?

I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
more in traffic reports.

Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!!

Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the deceased,
the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
not give it a second thought.

They are everywhere these days. Perhaps it gives the close
family some kind of relief but I don't understand it for myself. It is
crazy here when someone famous dies. There are carpets of flowers and teddy
bears etc. These from people who never knew the deceased in real life.
Bonkers.

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"tert in seattle" wrote in message
...

Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote:
>
>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it.
>
> I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here.
> Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award
> nominations because the people killed were the authors of their
> misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road
> where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents
> injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local
> residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The
> other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the
> casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the
> deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to
> the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother.
>
> The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost
> control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least
> bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next
> closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in
> excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill
> and slammed into the rock beside the road.
>
> Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn.
> The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was
> early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home
> from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come
> flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It
> happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the
> other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a
> gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and
> slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of
> his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft.
>
> Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on
> their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was
> distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on
> front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them.
> They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally
> unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place
> to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was
> killed by his stupidity.

"A myriad of men* are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread;
they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean
advantages over each other. Age creeps upon them; infirmities follow;
shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities. Those
they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching
grief. The burden of pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year. At
length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for
release is in their place. It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift
ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no
consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a
failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed -
a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever. Then
another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along
the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished - to make room
for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same
arid path through the same desert and accomplish what the first myriad
and all the myriads that came after it accomplished - nothing!"

* and women
---------

Well that's a jolly start to the day!

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
...

On 8/22/2016 2:14 AM, Ophelia wrote:

>
> Of course she was. They make a fortune from ripping off the relatives
> of dead people.
>
> I prefer to leave what I have to the children and grands.
>
Our two kids want us to enjoy it now. I'm trying!


---------------

Jolly good)))



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 7:17:36 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 10:59:38 -0700, "Cheri" >
> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Ophelia" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> "Brooklyn1" wrote in message
> >> ...
> >>
> >> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> >> > wrote:
> >>
> >>>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> >>>> Gary wrote:
> >>>> >
> >>>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
> >>>>
> >>>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
> >>>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
> >>>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
> >>>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
> >>>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
> >>>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
> >>>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
> >>>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
> >>>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone
> >>>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
> >>>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
> >>>> remembered.
> >>>
> >>>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
> >>>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
> >>>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the garbage,
> >>>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
> >>>
> >>>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
> >>>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
> >>>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
> >>>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
> >>>it doesn't bother me.
> >>>
> >>>Cindy Hamilton
> >>
> >> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
> >> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
> >> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
> >> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
> >> ------------
> >>
> >> Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I
> >> am a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.
> >>
> >> I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on
> >> others, apart from my husband.
> >>
> >> I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are
> >> in
> >> contact about once a year by phone.
> >>
> >> My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.
> >
> >Well said. I have 3 life long friends, one from grade school who lives far
> >away so we don't see each other except every few years talk about once a
> >month, one from high school who is now in a rest home with alzheimer's which
> >I do see weekly, but she doesn't know it, and one from when were first
> >married whom I speak to every day and have for the past 52 years, I see her
> >about once a week. Other than that, just some acquaintances that I might see
> >once a month at a club thing or something.
> >
> >Cheri
>
> Cindy said she has NO friends. Most older people have only a few
> friends, as many as fingers of one hand, the rest are aquaintances.
> Typically as people age their friends pass on and they are very
> difficult to replace with new people as they have no shared history.
> I've known only children, typically they have the most friends, they
> tend to befriend other only children. I've found only children to be
> very controling, perhaps why they gravitate towards people like
> themselves.

No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself.
What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that?
I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an
intelligent response.

Cindy Hamilton

In article >,
says...
>
> On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 7:17:36 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:

> > Cindy said she has NO friends. Most older people have only a few
> > friends, as many as fingers of one hand, the rest are aquaintances.
> > Typically as people age their friends pass on and they are very
> > difficult to replace with new people as they have no shared history.
> > I've known only children, typically they have the most friends, they
> > tend to befriend other only children. I've found only children to be
> > very controling, perhaps why they gravitate towards people like
> > themselves.
>
> No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself.
> What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that?
> I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an
> intelligent response.

lol

Sometimes that's what you have to do so as not to lose faith in
humanity.

"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
...

On Monday, August 22, 2016 at 7:17:36 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 10:59:38 -0700, "Cheri" >
> wrote:
>
> >
> >"Ophelia" > wrote in message
> ...
> >> "Brooklyn1" wrote in message
> >> ...
> >>
> >> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 03:22:20 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> >> > wrote:
> >>
> >>>On Sunday, August 21, 2016 at 5:12:14 PM UTC-4, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> >>>> Gary wrote:
> >>>> >
> >>>> >I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares?
> >>>>
> >>>> That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what
> >>>> you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that
> >>>> you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You
> >>>> must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect
> >>>> yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever
> >>>> can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on
> >>>> you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you
> >>>> think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't
> >>>> value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance.
> >>>> Everyone
> >>>> who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to
> >>>> the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be
> >>>> remembered.
> >>>
> >>>If it were legal, I'd be satisfied to be put in a dumpster, too. What
> >>>difference does it make to a dead person? When I have custody of my
> >>>grandparents' and mother's ashes, they are going straight in the
> >>>garbage,
> >>>and my estate is welcome to do the same.
> >>>
> >>>Hell, Sheldon, if my husband predeceases me, there won't be anybody
> >>>to remember me. I have no siblings, one first cousin whom I've never
> >>>met, and no friends. I have acquaintances at work, but my husband is
> >>>basically everything. I've never been one to make friends easily;
> >>>it doesn't bother me.
> >>>
> >>>Cindy Hamilton
> >>
> >> From what you say if your husband dies tonight you'll have no reason
> >> to live... you're another one who doesn't value yourself.
> >> Friends require investing effort/emotion on many levels, acquaintances
> >> are easy come easy go... I can tell why you have no friends.
> >> ------------
> >>
> >> Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either.
> >> I
> >> am a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life.
> >>
> >> I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on
> >> others, apart from my husband.
> >>
> >> I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We
> >> are
> >> in
> >> contact about once a year by phone.
> >>
> >> My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else.
> >
> >Well said. I have 3 life long friends, one from grade school who lives
> >far
> >away so we don't see each other except every few years talk about once a
> >month, one from high school who is now in a rest home with alzheimer's
> >which
> >I do see weekly, but she doesn't know it, and one from when were first
> >married whom I speak to every day and have for the past 52 years, I see
> >her
> >about once a week. Other than that, just some acquaintances that I might
> >see
> >once a month at a club thing or something.
> >
> >Cheri
>
> Cindy said she has NO friends. Most older people have only a few
> friends, as many as fingers of one hand, the rest are aquaintances.
> Typically as people age their friends pass on and they are very
> difficult to replace with new people as they have no shared history.
> I've known only children, typically they have the most friends, they
> tend to befriend other only children. I've found only children to be
> very controling, perhaps why they gravitate towards people like
> themselves.

No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself.
What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that?
I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an
intelligent response.

Cindy Hamilton
-----------------

<g>



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk

"sf" > wrote in message
...

> The thought of cremation creeps me out too, but I can't say regular
> burial is a family tradition - because all 4 grandparents and both of
> my parents were cremated. I don't care about grave markers but if I'm
> planted, I want a tree over my grave. If they burn me up and scatter
> my ashes, I'd like a memorial bench at the zoo set up in front of the
> giraffe enclosure because watching the giraffes was something I did a
> lot with my children when they were young. We live close to the zoo,
> so it was easy to visit (often more than once a week) and had a family
> pass for many years.

Yes, different folks have different ideas and hopefully their wishes will be
followed within reason, now if they want their ashes scattered on top of
Mount Everest or something, forget it.

Cheri

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
> ...
>
> Ophelia wrote:
>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>> Ophelia wrote:
>>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message
>>> ...
>
>
>>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen
>>> after
>>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly
>>>
>>> no need to bore your friends with it though
>>> ---------------
>>>
>>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed.
>>
>> I mean how would everyone react
>> ---------------
>>
>> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done
>> <g>
>>
>> I won't change my mind though) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone
>> to
>> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am
>>
>> Would you have a problem with it?
>
> I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp
> at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used
> more in traffic reports.
>
> Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!!
>
> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico
> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each
> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to
> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So
> my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that
> experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating
> and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the
> deceased,
> the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for
> those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will
> not give it a second thought.
>
> They are everywhere these days. Perhaps it gives the close
> family some kind of relief but I don't understand it for myself. It is
> crazy here when someone famous dies. There are carpets of flowers and
> teddy bears etc. These from people who never knew the deceased in real
> life. Bonkers.

I think they're hoping to be seen on TV, then there was the guy at JFK JR's
memorial saying on TV "I don't really know a lot about him, but I know he
was the last of The Camelots." LOL

Cheri

"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On 8/22/2016 2:14 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>>
>> Of course she was. They make a fortune from ripping off the relatives
>> of dead people.
>>
>> I prefer to leave what I have to the children and grands.
>>
> Our two kids want us to enjoy it now. I'm trying!
>
>
> ---------------
>
> Jolly good)))

I already passed on my good jewelry and other things to my kids so they
could enjoy them now too.

Cheri

"Cheri" wrote in message ...


"Ophelia" > wrote in message
...
> "Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
> ...
>
> On 8/22/2016 2:14 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>
>>
>> Of course she was. They make a fortune from ripping off the relatives
>> of dead people.
>>
>> I prefer to leave what I have to the children and grands.
>>
> Our two kids want us to enjoy it now. I'm trying!
>
>
> ---------------
>
> Jolly good)))

I already passed on my good jewelry and other things to my kids so they
could enjoy them now too.

Cheri
--------------

I have given some of mine but not all yet I am hoping for a few more
years yet



--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk