Split an English muffin really lopsided?

You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
than the other?

Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!

What do you do?

Andy
A current event.

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?


Rethink your method of attack. Maybe you need longer tines on your fork,
maybe you need a longer attention span.

I'd just grab a fistful of bacon and cream cheese and cram it all down my
throat.


TFM®

On Sep 17, 8:21*pm, TFM® > wrote:
> "Andy" <q> wrote in ...
> and cram it all down my
> throat.

an english muffin probably wasn't the first thing that came to your
mind

On Wed 17 Sep 2008 05:21:28p, TFM® told us...

>
>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're
>> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
>> or so
>> than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>
>
> Rethink your method of attack. Maybe you need longer tines on your
> fork, maybe you need a longer attention span.
>
> I'd just grab a fistful of bacon and cream cheese and cram it all down
> my throat.
>
>
> TFM®
>

I never "slice" an English muffin. It destroys the surface texture they
were meant to have when split properly. I have no problem inserting a fork
systematically around the perimeter to then pull it apart into equal
halves. Maybe more practice is needed. :-)

TFM®, this is to the OP, not to you.

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Wednesday, 09(IX)/17(XVII)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Today is: Citizenship Day
Countdown till Veteran's Day
7wks 5dys 5hrs 58mins
*******************************************
No matter how cynical you get, it's
impossible to keep up.

TFM® said...

>
>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're
>> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
>> or so
>> than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>
>
> Rethink your method of attack. Maybe you need longer tines on your
> fork, maybe you need a longer attention span.
>
> I'd just grab a fistful of bacon and cream cheese and cram it all down
> my throat.
>
>
> TFM®


That almost sounds pornographic!

I broke them up into bits, toasted them on parchment paper in the oven and
added them to a pan of scrambling eggs and cheese. Turned out delicious.

Andy

In article >,
"l, not -l" > wrote:

> On 18-Sep-2008, Andy <q> wrote:
>
> > That almost sounds pornographic!
> >
> > I broke them up into bits, toasted them on parchment paper in the oven and
> >
> > added them to a pan of scrambling eggs and cheese. Turned out delicious.
> >
> > Andy
>
> I liked TFM's flavor combination idea; but, didn't care much for his
> proposed delivery method. This morning I split (properly, using a fork) and
> toasted an English Muffin. I fried two strips of bacon that I had "folded"
> into a nearly round form the size of a muffin half. I also fried two eggs
> until the yolks were no longer runny, but not quite hard-cooked; let's call
> them gooey. Spread the toasted muffin halves with (American, not French)
> neufchatel cheese, topped with a bacon round and egg.
>
> I'll be doing that again, in the not-to-distant future.

Mom made Eggs Benedict using English Muffins, poached eggs, sliced ham
and cheese sauce.

It was a New Years Day tradition. I really need to continue it.
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

l, not -l said...

>
> On 18-Sep-2008, Andy <q> wrote:
>
>> That almost sounds pornographic!
>>
>> I broke them up into bits, toasted them on parchment paper in the oven
>> and
>>
>> added them to a pan of scrambling eggs and cheese. Turned out
>> delicious.
>>
>> Andy
>
> I liked TFM's flavor combination idea; but, didn't care much for his
> proposed delivery method. This morning I split (properly, using a fork)
> and toasted an English Muffin. I fried two strips of bacon that I had
> "folded" into a nearly round form the size of a muffin half. I also
> fried two eggs until the yolks were no longer runny, but not quite
> hard-cooked; let's call them gooey. Spread the toasted muffin halves
> with (American, not French) neufchatel cheese, topped with a bacon round
> and egg.
>
> I'll be doing that again, in the not-to-distant future.


l, not -l,

While I like your fixings, a top and bottom should not be separated for a
two open-faced breakfast dish. They belong together as a sandwich with
"stuff" in between them. The only time that system fails is using an end
slice and next slice of bread for a grilled cheese sandwich.

Imho,

Andy

l, not -l said...

>
> On 18-Sep-2008, Andy <q> wrote:
>
>> l, not -l,
>>
>> While I like your fixings, a top and bottom should not be separated for
a
>> two open-faced breakfast dish. They belong together as a sandwich with
>> "stuff" in between them. The only time that system fails is using an end
>> slice and next slice of bread for a grilled cheese sandwich.
>>
>> Imho,
>>
>> Andy
>
> Ummm, you can't even split one and ate it as toaster crumbs - should you
> really be telling me the right way to have mine? ;-)


l, not -l,

Touché!



Andy

Andy wrote:
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.


You butter it and get over it.

Jill

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

Hang in there, trooper. Better days are coming.

-sw

Andy wrote:
>
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy

It's just another example that proves, "Life isn't fair and never has
been!"

Sky, a sometimes cynic

--
Ultra Ultimate Kitchen Rule - Use the Timer!
Ultimate Kitchen Rule -- Cook's Choice

Andy <q> wrote:

> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?

If I were you, I'd just tilt my head 33 degrees to one side so my
brain would slosh to one side of my cranium and I wouldn't notice a
thing.

-sw

On Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:12:33 -0500, Andy <q> wrote:

>Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
>You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
>fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
>than the other?
>
>Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
>What do you do?
>
Toast it carefully!
>A current event.



--
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number of carats in a diamond.

Mae West

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?

Eat them.

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

You should invent a product and do a commercial like all the other
commercials for people that are too stupid to flip pancakes and omlets.

Ms P

In article >,
"Ms P" > wrote:

> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> > Split an English muffin really lopsided?
> >
> > You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> > they're
> > fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> > so
> > than the other?
> >
> > Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
> >
> > What do you do?
> >
> > Andy
> > A current event.
>
> You should invent a product and do a commercial like all the other
> commercials for people that are too stupid to flip pancakes and omlets.
>
> Ms P

There IS a bagel slicer available to keep the halves even and to keep
klutz's from slicing their hands. That might work? ;-)
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

On Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:12:33 -0500, Andy wrote:

> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

obviously, you post something stupid on usenet. but i see you know that
already.

blake

On Thu 18 Sep 2008 08:44:00a, blake murphy told us...

> On Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:12:33 -0500, Andy wrote:
>
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>>
>> Andy
>> A current event.
>
> obviously, you post something stupid on usenet. but i see you know that
> already.
>
> blake
>

I love your wit!


--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Thursday, 09(IX)/18(XVIII)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Countdown till Veteran's Day
7wks 4dys 15hrs 14mins
*******************************************
Ah'm thinkin'! And muh head hurts...
--Yosemite Sam.
*******************************************

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

I've had that happen, and just toasted them anyway. Took out the
smaller one before the toaster popped.
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

Omelet said...

> In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
>
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>>
>> Andy
>> A current event.
>
> I've had that happen, and just toasted them anyway. Took out the
> smaller one before the toaster popped.


Ordinarily I use a partially serrated plastic knife, no trouble. The
carving knife was a little unwieldy cutting into English muffin with one
hand while holding it in the other. It WAS a bad idea!

Andy

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> Omelet said...
>
> > In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
> >
> >> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
> >>
> >> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> >> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
> >> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
> >>
> >> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
> >>
> >> What do you do?
> >>
> >> Andy
> >> A current event.
> >
> > I've had that happen, and just toasted them anyway. Took out the
> > smaller one before the toaster popped.
>
>
> Ordinarily I use a partially serrated plastic knife, no trouble. The
> carving knife was a little unwieldy cutting into English muffin with one
> hand while holding it in the other. It WAS a bad idea!
>
> Andy

And now you learned from it. :-)

So it's all good...
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several sides
and finally twist the fork.

Dimitri

In article >,
"Dimitri" > wrote:

> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> > Split an English muffin really lopsided?
> >
> > You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> > they're
> > fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or
> > so
> > than the other?
> >
> > Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
> >
> > What do you do?
> >
> > Andy
> > A current event.
>
> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several sides
> and finally twist the fork.
>
> Dimitri

Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures for the
butter to pool in. ;-d
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

"Omelet" > wrote in message
news
> In article >,
> "Dimitri" > wrote:
>
>> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> > Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>> >
>> > You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> > they're
>> > fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
>> > or
>> > so
>> > than the other?
>> >
>> > Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>> >
>> > What do you do?
>> >
>> > Andy
>> > A current event.
>>
>> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several
>> sides
>> and finally twist the fork.
>>
>> Dimitri
>
> Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures for the
> butter to pool in. ;-d
> --
> Peace! Om
>
> "If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the
> newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

IE the Nook & Crannie syndrome. :-)'

Dimitri

In article >,
"Dimitri" > wrote:

> "Omelet" > wrote in message
> news
> > In article >,
> > "Dimitri" > wrote:
> >
> >> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> >> > Split an English muffin really lopsided?
> >> >
> >> > You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
> >> > they're
> >> > fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
> >> > or
> >> > so
> >> > than the other?
> >> >
> >> > Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
> >> >
> >> > What do you do?
> >> >
> >> > Andy
> >> > A current event.
> >>
> >> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several
> >> sides
> >> and finally twist the fork.
> >>
> >> Dimitri
> >
> > Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures for the
> > butter to pool in. ;-d
> >
>
> IE the Nook & Crannie syndrome. :-)'
>
> Dimitri

Yep!
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

Omelet wrote on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:35:03 -0500:

>> "Andy" <q> wrote in message
>> ...
> >> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
> >>
> >> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin
> >> (never mind they're fork split!), when the top or bottom
> >> breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
> >>
> >> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
> >>
> >> What do you do?
> >>
> >> Andy
> >> A current event.
>>
>> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce
>> from several sides and finally twist the fork.
>>
>> Dimitri

> Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures
> for the butter to pool in. ;-d

Andy did say they came "fork split" but you are right, two forks might
be best anyway. I can usually get the presplitting to work if I press
the thin sides inward.
--

James Silverton
Potomac, Maryland

Email, with obvious alterations: not.jim.silverton.at.verizon.not

"James Silverton" > wrote in message
...
> Omelet wrote on Thu, 18 Sep 2008 11:35:03 -0500:
>
>>> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> >> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>> >>
>> >> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin
>> >> (never mind they're fork split!), when the top or bottom
>> >> breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>> >>
>> >> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>> >>
>> >> What do you do?
>> >>
>> >> Andy
>> >> A current event.
>>>
>>> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce
>>> from several sides and finally twist the fork.
>>>
>>> Dimitri
>
>> Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures
>> for the butter to pool in. ;-d
>
> Andy did say they came "fork split" but you are right, two forks might be
> best anyway. I can usually get the presplitting to work if I press the
> thin sides inward.
> --
>
> James Silverton
> Potomac, Maryland
>
> Email, with obvious alterations: not.jim.silverton.at.verizon.not

IMHO


The "fork splitting" is nothing more than a few holes poked into the side of
the muffin and is totally inadequate for separating the 2 halves. At one
time it may have been sufficient but not today. I'll bet over the years the
recipe has changed by adding more yeast/air to keep the same size but
reducing the amount of flour necessary to create a similar looking product.


Dimitri

Omelet wrote:

>
> Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures for the
> butter to pool in. ;-d

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...butter pool.

In article >,
Scott > wrote:

> Omelet wrote:
>
> >
> > Best idea yet. That technique also leaves a lot more textures for the
> > butter to pool in. ;-d
>
> Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm...butter pool.

<drools>
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

Dimitri said...

>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're
>> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
>> or so
>> than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>>
>> Andy
>> A current event.
>
> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several
> sides and finally twist the fork.
>
> Dimitri


Thomas' are already fork split. Sometimes I'd try and pull it apart with my
fingers as I worked it around. Sometimes it would rip, sometimes not. The
partially serrated plastic works better, slowly cutting and rotating in
smooth motions.

Aside: At my old Sunday brunch, the kitchen staff would split and oven
broil (toast) the English muffins and toss them in a chafing dish, then two
new "up and yuppie" owners came in and put whole English muffins in a pile
on a brunch table with 4 toasters. I was pretty vocal to one of them about
what a stupid idea that was, and since the English muffins wouldn't pop out
AT ALL will you be willing to risk the liability of someone sticking their
fingers or fork in the toaster to retrieve them, not to mention you've
created a waiting line worse than the rest of the brunch line combined. The
next week they were back to oven toasting the English muffins. The BUMS!!!
They hadn't run a restaurant before and they didn't for very long
thereafter.

They did cost cut and take every shred of elegance out of the place by
taking away the table cloths and napkins in favor of paper placemats and
napkins and no more table candles or free champagne after 11am.

</rant>


Andy

Dimitri said...

>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're
>> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner
>> or so
>> than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>>
>> Andy
>> A current event.
>
> Use another fork not a knife to split the muffin. Pierce from several
> sides and finally twist the fork.
>
> Dimitri


You have a point there, but your hair conceals it.

I don't know what my aversion to fork splitting open an English muffin is.
I think speed. I've knife-split them as far back as I can remember.

Om mentioned the straight edge sharp knives don't leave nooks & crannies
behind, I'm in agreement. My ceramic knife will just slide through, without
any carving motion and very little pressure, surface is cut smooth as a
piece of bread. Not so with the cheap-o plastic knife.

I'll fork split an English muffin later. I hope I don't jab myself!

Andy

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> I'll fork split an English muffin later. I hope I don't jab myself!
>
> Andy

I'm betting you will like the results babe. ;-)

It also allows more egg yolk if you mash a soft one into it. Yum!
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

Omelet said...

> In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
>
>> I'll fork split an English muffin later. I hope I don't jab myself!
>>
>> Andy
>
> I'm betting you will like the results babe. ;-)
>
> It also allows more egg yolk if you mash a soft one into it. Yum!


Finally...

Toast ____________ English Muffin!

Why the chicken crossed the road!

Yolk, yolk, yolk,

Andy

In article >, Andy <q> wrote:

> Omelet said...
>
> > In article >, Andy <q> wrote:
> >
> >> I'll fork split an English muffin later. I hope I don't jab myself!
> >>
> >> Andy
> >
> > I'm betting you will like the results babe. ;-)
> >
> > It also allows more egg yolk if you mash a soft one into it. Yum!
>
>
> Finally...
>
> Toast ____________ English Muffin!
>
> Why the chicken crossed the road!
>
> Yolk, yolk, yolk,
>
> Andy

ROFL! Works for me...
--
Peace! Om

"If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed." --Mark Twain

Andy wrote:
> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>
> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind they're
> fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle 1/3 sooner or so
> than the other?
>
> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>
> What do you do?
>
> Andy
> A current event.

Take it back to where you bought it from and exchange it for a
non-defective (not made by the English) muffin. You did keep your
receipt, didn't you?

Andy said...

> Andy wrote:
>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>
>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>
>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>
>> What do you do?
>>
>> Andy
>> A current event.
>
> Take it back to where you bought it from and exchange it for a
> non-defective (not made by the English) muffin. You did keep your
> receipt, didn't you?


Heh heh heh heh heh!

Andy

"Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
> Andy said...
>
>> Andy wrote:
>>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>>
>>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>>
>>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>>
>>> What do you do?
>>>
>>> Andy
>>> A current event.
>>
>> Take it back to where you bought it from and exchange it for a
>> non-defective (not made by the English) muffin. You did keep your
>> receipt, didn't you?
>
>
> Heh heh heh heh heh!
>
> Andy

God Damn it... Its just a english ****ing Muffin. Throw the Mother ****er
away and try again.
Shit!
>

Mike said...

>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Andy said...
>>
>>> Andy wrote:
>>>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>>>
>>>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>>>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>>>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>>>
>>>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>>>
>>>> What do you do?
>>>>
>>>> Andy
>>>> A current event.
>>>
>>> Take it back to where you bought it from and exchange it for a
>>> non-defective (not made by the English) muffin. You did keep your
>>> receipt, didn't you?
>>
>>
>> Heh heh heh heh heh!
>>
>> Andy
>
> God Damn it... Its just a english ****ing Muffin. Throw the Mother
> ****er away and try again.
> Shit!


Sorry you lack a sense of humor.

On Mon 22 Sep 2008 09:32:45p, Mike told us...

>
> "Andy" <q> wrote in message ...
>> Andy said...
>>
>>> Andy wrote:
>>>> Split an English muffin really lopsided?
>>>>
>>>> You're slicing open the simplest food, the English Muffin (never mind
>>>> they're fork split!), when the top or bottom breaks away at an angle
>>>> 1/3 sooner or so than the other?
>>>>
>>>> Now you're left with terribly incompatible pieces!
>>>>
>>>> What do you do?
>>>>
>>>> Andy
>>>> A current event.
>>>
>>> Take it back to where you bought it from and exchange it for a
>>> non-defective (not made by the English) muffin. You did keep your
>>> receipt, didn't you?
>>
>>
>> Heh heh heh heh heh!
>>
>> Andy
>
> God Damn it... Its just a english ****ing Muffin. Throw the Mother
> ****er away and try again.
> Shit!

Total idiocy, Mike, total idiocy. Has nothing better to kvetch about nor
anything to contribute. You gave excellent advice. :-)

--
Wayne Boatwright

*******************************************
Date: Monday, 09(IX)/22(XXII)/08(MMVIII)
*******************************************
Countdown till Veteran's Day
7wks 2hrs 25mins
*******************************************
Experience is a wonderful thing. It
enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.

In article 0>,
Wayne Boatwright > wrote:

> On Mon 22 Sep 2008 09:32:45p, Mike told us...

> > God Damn it... Its just a english ****ing Muffin. Throw the Mother
> > ****er away and try again.
> > Shit!
>
> Total idiocy, Mike, total idiocy. Has nothing better to kvetch about nor
> anything to contribute. You gave excellent advice. :-)

Broken toasted English muffin pieces go well swirled in a soup just
before serving. I generally don't think that far ahead though.

leo