SLop begins by claiming she rented out a house in Whistler(?), Canada for
Christmas this year. Yeah, like we're sppsd to believe she dragged all her
Christmas and kitchen crap to Canada for this one-time special occasion. If
there were people carrying torches and pitchforks behind her, I could believe
it. Maybe.

I love how she tells us to look at how the salmon cream cheese in her bowl
looks while the bowl is facing AWAY from the camera, then totally covers it up
with dill clippings, creating for what all practical purposes looks like a
baseball mound.

Sandra claims she loves Hanukkah and celebrating all its traditions, so she
glued together a bunch of store-bought meringues and painted them with blue
frosting, the "color of Hanukkah" and tells us she invited a "special guest"
to her Xmas party. Is it Hanukkah Harry, perhaps?

Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with crappy
candy and unbent paper clips. It's like watching Saddam Insane with those kids
before the first Gulf War. Wow, seeing Brycer explains a LOT. I have to wonder
if he's a "special child", if you get my drift. Naturally, since the kids were
expecting sugarplums, she used cheap crappy candy... Did anyone else cringe
when she talked about using hooks and/or paperclips to attach the candy to her
sugarplum tree?

While the kids played with the Gumdrop Shrike Tree, SLop returned to the
kitchen to make cookies. Did anyone else notice that in the shot right before
she mixed up the cookie dough in the KA, when she pours the vanilla in, the
two eggs were on one side of the bowl and the cream cheese was at the other
side, looking like a face? I was half-expecting it to croak out "kill me...."!

Wow, I'd have NEVER thought of putting the hanging holes in my cookies before
I baked them, but why did she put them so far from the edge? I also noticed
that she made a big deal about not making the cookies too brown but was going
to cover them up with icing anyway.

SLop claims that these cookies will "taste like they've been baking for
hours". I sure hope not, because they'd be lumps of charcoal, but then again,
this might be an improvement for her.

Did she say she dumped the ENTIRE bottle of red food coloring into that white
icing?

OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going to
feed all those people.

As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut up
family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be white
fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!

In one of MANY very obvious voiceovers, there was a voiceover while she was
enthusiastically waving her hands around and pointing at things on the mantle.
Oh how I'd LOVE to know what she was really saying!

SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a styrofoam
cone in aluminum foil (so food doesn't touch the styrofoam) and using a thick
sugar and water mixture as adhesive. Can you at least pronounce "macaroon"
correctly? And no, I don't like them, but thanks so much for asking! SLop
precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt to
simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
macaroon breasts. The hell?

Was I the only one creeped out by her trying to get her nephews to kiss her?

Hey, lookit the gumdrop shrike tree! The secret to her eggnog is chocolate
liqueur? I guess the kids go hungry AND thirsty tonight.

Why did she put that dough wreath soaked with all sorts of butter and oils
into the oven on an UPSIDE DOWN baking sheet? Isn't everything going to drip
down onto the bottom of the oven?

Just how much booze did she pour into that drink, anyway? She didn't specify
how much but practically turned the bottles upside-down and started to shake
them in an effort to empty them out after pouring ONE cup for the children. So
what do the other kids drink, or if, heaven forbid, the "lucky one" wants a
refill?

SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a big
production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all the
work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with them
making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat down
with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they were
going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably didn't
understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever she was
talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was talking
about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".

SLop asks Colleen "Would you like another cocktail, honey?", followed by a
quick cut away so we don't see her giving SLop some stinkeye. Bwah! With a
cheery "Go ahead and start without me!", Sandra pretends to go outside to
"play in the snow", leaving her family to stare bewilderedly at a table devoid
of food. Snow. In the studio. Dunce. She rambles a bit "outside" until her
visibly embarrassed nieces and nephews ask her to come back "inside". I wonder
if that happens every Christmas at the Lee house?

Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
meringues never appeared!


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of
Miss Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> SLop begins by claiming she rented out a house in Whistler(?), Canada for
> Christmas this year. Yeah, like we're sppsd to believe she dragged all her
> Christmas and kitchen crap to Canada for this one-time special occasion. If
> there were people carrying torches and pitchforks behind her, I could believe
> it. Maybe.

Canada took all of our draft dodgers and some of our murderers, so why
wouldn't they take SLop? She hasn't killed anyone yet to our knowledge,
but better safe than sorry.

If we're very lucky, she won't be able to find her passport or birth
certificate, and she'll be stuck there for good, eh?



> I love how she tells us to look at how the salmon cream cheese in her bowl
> looks while the bowl is facing AWAY from the camera, then totally covers it up
> with dill clippings, creating for what all practical purposes looks like a
> baseball mound.

For her, that's doing well. We should praise her efforts however feeble
they are. Go ahead, now. Praise her!



> Sandra claims she loves Hanukkah and celebrating all its traditions, so she
> glued together a bunch of store-bought meringues and painted them with blue
> frosting, the "color of Hanukkah" and tells us she invited a "special guest"
> to her Xmas party. Is it Hanukkah Harry, perhaps?

Actually she got Hanukkah confused with Passover and thinks Elijah is
coming.



> Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with crappy
> candy and unbent paper clips. It's like watching Saddam Insane with those kids
> before the first Gulf War. Wow, seeing Brycer explains a LOT. I have to wonder
> if he's a "special child", if you get my drift. Naturally, since the kids were
> expecting sugarplums, she used cheap crappy candy... Did anyone else cringe
> when she talked about using hooks and/or paperclips to attach the candy to her
> sugarplum tree?

Look, that's nothing. She didn't introduce the Sugarplum Fairy, did she?
Which would have been more traumatic for the children?




> While the kids played with the Gumdrop Shrike Tree, SLop returned to the
> kitchen to make cookies. Did anyone else notice that in the shot right before
> she mixed up the cookie dough in the KA, when she pours the vanilla in, the
> two eggs were on one side of the bowl and the cream cheese was at the other
> side, looking like a face? I was half-expecting it to croak out "kill me...."!

Shrike Tree, LOL!!




> Wow, I'd have NEVER thought of putting the hanging holes in my cookies before
> I baked them, but why did she put them so far from the edge? I also noticed
> that she made a big deal about not making the cookies too brown but was going
> to cover them up with icing anyway.
>
> SLop claims that these cookies will "taste like they've been baking for
> hours". I sure hope not, because they'd be lumps of charcoal, but then again,
> this might be an improvement for her.

Considering how long SLop's been baked, anything is an improvement.



> Did she say she dumped the ENTIRE bottle of red food coloring into that white
> icing?

I'm sure she did. SLop's never heard of paste food colors evidently, so
she enough to emulate a movie massacre in order to get past pink in her
icing.




> OMG! She burnt the prime rib!

Burn her! She's a witch! Burn her!!



> And no way in hell is that tiny thing going to
> feed all those people.

Well that's okay. Just put another stone in it. Oh, make it into soup first.



> As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers,

OMG, those again?? Does anyone still have the balls to trot those out at
gift time?





> In one of MANY very obvious voiceovers, there was a voiceover while she was
> enthusiastically waving her hands around and pointing at things on the mantle.
> Oh how I'd LOVE to know what she was really saying!

If it had been anything at all sensible, they would have left it in.




> SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a styrofoam
> cone in aluminum foil (so food doesn't touch the styrofoam) and using a thick
> sugar and water mixture as adhesive. Can you at least pronounce "macaroon"
> correctly? And no, I don't like them, but thanks so much for asking! SLop
> precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt to
> simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
> carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
> macaroon breasts. The hell?

Oh come on! It's Holiday Cinnamon Red Hot Macaroons, just like they
serve in gourmet restaurants. Give a girl a break.



> Was I the only one creeped out by her trying to get her nephews to kiss her?
>
> Hey, lookit the gumdrop shrike tree! The secret to her eggnog is chocolate
> liqueur? I guess the kids go hungry AND thirsty tonight.
>
> Why did she put that dough wreath soaked with all sorts of butter and oils
> into the oven on an UPSIDE DOWN baking sheet? Isn't everything going to drip
> down onto the bottom of the oven?

A festive fire is a big part of some folk's holiday celebrations.



> Just how much booze did she pour into that drink, anyway? She didn't specify
> how much but practically turned the bottles upside-down and started to shake
> them in an effort to empty them out after pouring ONE cup for the children. So
> what do the other kids drink, or if, heaven forbid, the "lucky one" wants a
> refill?

Then they can drink straight from the bottle, just like Aunt Sandy does.



> SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a big
> production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all the
> work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with them
> making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat down
> with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they were
> going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably didn't
> understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever she was
> talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was talking
> about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".

"Aunt Sandy, teacher says that's a lethal health hazard! Is that true?"
And Aunt Sandy, teacher says every time a bell rings, Aunt Sandy takes
another drink. Is that true, too?



> SLop asks Colleen "Would you like another cocktail, honey?", followed by a
> quick cut away so we don't see her giving SLop some stinkeye. Bwah! With a
> cheery "Go ahead and start without me!"...

Oh, they did that a looooong time ago, Sandy.



> ... Sandra pretends to go outside to
> "play in the snow", leaving her family to stare bewilderedly at a table devoid
> of food. Snow. In the studio. Dunce. She rambles a bit "outside" until her
> visibly embarrassed nieces and nephews ask her to come back "inside". I wonder
> if that happens every Christmas at the Lee house?

Yes, but it used to be the nice men in white coats that rounded her up.
Now it's her AA sponsor.



> Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
> meringues never appeared!

Note to SLop: Leave an empty chair.

"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
>snippage of SLop's many 'ChristmaHannukah Booze Fest" tales.......

What kills me is all the talk shows (Today, GMA, Fox) have had her on lately
to promote a book and the 'hundreds of others' she has co-authored. She was
even on the 700 Club with Pat Robertson (I usually don't give that show the
time of day, but when I caught the promo for her - well it was like a
really, really bad accident - you just HAD to look) telling him Jesus told
her to do this for a living and how God inspired she was he was eating it up
and since God only talks to him directly, telling the audience that God told
him to tell them to go buy the book (cheap SOB - all the others RR, Oprah,
Tyra, if they pump up a book, they at least give it to the studio audience).
All I can imagine, is God in His kingdom, stepping back and saying (in total
Steve Martin style) EXCUUUUUSSSE ME? If this woman and her attempt at
'homecooking' is heavensent.........we seriously have to relook at what she
consideres heaven. I thought blackened charcoal type cookies had a little
taste of sulfur and brimstone to me, whaddaya think? Sandy is really
Lucifer's kid sister.

-ginny

On Fri, 21 Dec 2007 09:46:47 -0500, "Virginia Tadrzynski"
> wrote:

>
>"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
m...
>>snippage of SLop's many 'ChristmaHannukah Booze Fest" tales.......
>
>What kills me is all the talk shows (Today, GMA, Fox) have had her on lately
>to promote a book and the 'hundreds of others' she has co-authored. She was
>even on the 700 Club with Pat Robertson (I usually don't give that show the
>time of day, but when I caught the promo for her - well it was like a
>really, really bad accident - you just HAD to look) telling him Jesus told
>her to do this for a living and how God inspired she was he was eating it up
>and since God only talks to him directly, telling the audience that God told
>him to tell them to go buy the book (cheap SOB - all the others RR, Oprah,
>Tyra, if they pump up a book, they at least give it to the studio audience).
>All I can imagine, is God in His kingdom, stepping back and saying (in total
>Steve Martin style) EXCUUUUUSSSE ME? If this woman and her attempt at
>'homecooking' is heavensent.........we seriously have to relook at what she
>consideres heaven. I thought blackened charcoal type cookies had a little
>taste of sulfur and brimstone to me, whaddaya think? Sandy is really
>Lucifer's kid sister.
>
Last year God told her to divorce her husband and move to New York and
he would shower her with more money, er ah, blessings than she could
ever spend, er ah, imagine. She did. He did. Now she's rolling in, er
ah, blessings.

Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
>
whaddaya think? Sandy is really
> Lucifer's kid sister.
>


Maybe even his wife....

gloria p

On Thu, 27 Dec 2007 03:33:08 GMT, Puester >
wrote:

>Virginia Tadrzynski wrote:
>>
> whaddaya think? Sandy is really
>> Lucifer's kid sister.
>>
>
>
>Maybe even his wife....

>
>gloria p
A fake and drinks too much

In article 1>,
"Michael \"Dog3\"" > wrote:

> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > dropped this
> : in rec.food.cooking
>
> <snippers>
>
> > If this woman and her
> > attempt at 'homecooking' is heavensent.........we seriously have to
> > relook at what she consideres heaven. I thought blackened charcoal
> > type cookies had a little taste of sulfur and brimstone to me,
> > whaddaya think? Sandy is really Lucifer's kid sister.
> >
> > -ginny
>
> Ohhh I wish I had seen that. I would have laughed for days. That woman is
> a complete train wreck.

Okay, just remember, you asked for it:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvO0I14C8uM

Note the tags for the clip:

Category:* Comedy
Tags:**
sandra * lee * semi-homemade * semihorrible * food * network * cooking *
tv * 700 * club * pat * robertson * made * from * scratch * charlatan *


Which do you suppose is the charlatan, her or him?

--
R.I.P. Bionic Woman:
The latest reason the WGA should revoke Laeta Kalogridis's union card,
or shut their doors in shame.

On Dec 21, 10:46*am, "Michael \"Dog3\"" > wrote:
> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > dropped : in rec.food.cooking

> > If this woman and her attempt at 'homecooking' is heavensent.........we seriously have to
> > relook at what she consideres heaven. *I thought blackened charcoal
> > type cookies had a little taste of sulfur and brimstone to me,
> > whaddaya think? *Sandy is really Lucifer's kid sister.
>
> Ohhh I wish I had seen that. *I would have laughed for days. That woman is a complete train wreck.

And an entertaining one at that!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!!
We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege
of
Miss Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> On Dec 21, 10:46 am, "Michael \"Dog3\"" > wrote:
>> "Virginia Tadrzynski" > dropped
>> : in
>> rec.food.cooking
>
>>> If this woman and her attempt at 'homecooking' is
>>> heavensent.........we seriously have to relook at what she
>>> consideres heaven. I thought blackened charcoal
>>> type cookies had a little taste of sulfur and brimstone to me,
>>> whaddaya think? Sandy is really Lucifer's kid sister.
>>
>> Ohhh I wish I had seen that. I would have laughed for days. That
>> woman is a complete train wreck.
>
> And an entertaining one at that!

But she's cheap to operate, she runs on ethanol.

--
Dave
www.davebbq.com

In article >,
Ubiquitous > wrote:

> SLop begins by claiming she rented out a house in Whistler(?), Canada for
> Christmas this year. Yeah, like we're sppsd to believe she dragged all her
> Christmas and kitchen crap to Canada for this one-time special occasion. If
> there were people carrying torches and pitchforks behind her, I could believe
> it. Maybe.
>
> I love how she tells us to look at how the salmon cream cheese in her bowl
> looks while the bowl is facing AWAY from the camera, then totally covers it
> up
> with dill clippings, creating for what all practical purposes looks like a
> baseball mound.
>
> Sandra claims she loves Hanukkah and celebrating all its traditions, so she
> glued together a bunch of store-bought meringues and painted them with blue
> frosting, the "color of Hanukkah" and tells us she invited a "special guest"
> to her Xmas party. Is it Hanukkah Harry, perhaps?
>
> Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with
> crappy
> candy and unbent paper clips.

Every part of it is edible! Except for the styrafoam and tinfoil and
paper clips and hooks and whatever those damn dots are on. And that non
foodsafe tree she's sticking the poison gumdrops on.

It's like watching Saddam Insane with those
> kids
> before the first Gulf War. Wow, seeing Brycer explains a LOT. I have to
> wonder
> if he's a "special child", if you get my drift. Naturally, since the kids
> were
> expecting sugarplums, she used cheap crappy candy... Did anyone else cringe
> when she talked about using hooks and/or paperclips to attach the candy to
> her
> sugarplum tree?

Oh yeah
>
> While the kids played with the Gumdrop Shrike Tree, SLop returned to the
> kitchen to make cookies. Did anyone else notice that in the shot right before
> she mixed up the cookie dough in the KA, when she pours the vanilla in, the
> two eggs were on one side of the bowl and the cream cheese was at the other
> side, looking like a face? I was half-expecting it to croak out "kill
> me...."!
>
> Wow, I'd have NEVER thought of putting the hanging holes in my cookies before
> I baked them, but why did she put them so far from the edge? I also noticed
> that she made a big deal about not making the cookies too brown but was going
> to cover them up with icing anyway.
>
> SLop claims that these cookies will "taste like they've been baking for
> hours". I sure hope not, because they'd be lumps of charcoal, but then again,
> this might be an improvement for her.
>
> Did she say she dumped the ENTIRE bottle of red food coloring into that white
> icing?
>
> OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going to
> feed all those people.

It's worse than that. It's burnt on the outside, wildly overdone and
bone dry on the outer rim, and stone cold raw never been cooked in the
center. And she put it in a 350 or whatever oven for awhile, then
turned the oven off and let it sit for TWO HOURS, then took it out to
REST? It's been in a damn stone cold oven for at least the last hour.
She's serving it all at room temperature.
>
> As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut up
> family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be white
> fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!

Yeah. Merry Chinese Christmas!
>
> In one of MANY very obvious voiceovers, there was a voiceover while she was
> enthusiastically waving her hands around and pointing at things on the
> mantle.
> Oh how I'd LOVE to know what she was really saying!
>
> SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a styrofoam

Every notice every time she says EVERYONE LOVES THESE it's about
something NOBODY likes?

> cone in aluminum foil (so food doesn't touch the styrofoam) and using a thick
> sugar and water mixture as adhesive. Can you at least pronounce "macaroon"
> correctly? And no, I don't like them, but thanks so much for asking! SLop

Like macaroons.

> precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt to
> simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
> carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
> macaroon breasts. The hell?

yeah. the spuge is supposed to look like icicles, and then she puts a
red hot. Looks like somebody with a nosebleed sneezed on it. Or it's
Satan's icicles and has little eyes.
>
> Was I the only one creeped out by her trying to get her nephews to kiss her?
>
> Hey, lookit the gumdrop shrike tree! The secret to her eggnog is chocolate
> liqueur? I guess the kids go hungry AND thirsty tonight.
>
> Why did she put that dough wreath soaked with all sorts of butter and oils
> into the oven on an UPSIDE DOWN baking sheet? Isn't everything going to drip
> down onto the bottom of the oven?
>
> Just how much booze did she pour into that drink, anyway? She didn't specify
> how much but practically turned the bottles upside-down and started to shake
> them in an effort to empty them out after pouring ONE cup for the children.
> So
> what do the other kids drink, or if, heaven forbid, the "lucky one" wants a
> refill?
>
> SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a big
> production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all the

Yeah, exactly when and why and where did they go again?

> work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with them
> making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat down
> with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they were
> going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably didn't

Because no one else is allowed to talk.

> understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever she was
> talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was talking
> about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".

yeah. "We're going skiing" "Um, you do realize it's August??"
>
> SLop asks Colleen "Would you like another cocktail, honey?", followed by a
> quick cut away so we don't see her giving SLop some stinkeye. Bwah! With a
> cheery "Go ahead and start without me!", Sandra pretends to go outside to
> "play in the snow", leaving her family to stare bewilderedly at a table
> devoid
> of food. Snow. In the studio. Dunce. She rambles a bit "outside" until her
> visibly embarrassed nieces and nephews ask her to come back "inside". I
> wonder
> if that happens every Christmas at the Lee house?
>
> Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
> meringues never appeared!

"It looks like a dredle"

Yeah, if your retarded cousin made it, maybe.

Did get me to start singing the South Park song though:

(kyle)
i have a litle dradle
i made it out of clay
and when its dry and ready
with dradle i shall play
dradle dradle dradle i made you out of clay
dradle dradle dradle with dradle i shall play

(cartman)
heres a little dradle thats small and made of clay
but im not gonna play with it cuz dradles freakin ***
jews......play stupid games
jews......thats why they're lame
jews......play stupid games
jews......thats why they're lame

(stan)
ill try to make it spin
it fell ill try again

(dad)
courtney cox......i love you
coutrney cox......you're so hot on that show

--
R.I.P. Bionic Woman:
The latest reason the WGA should revoke Laeta Kalogridis's union card,
or shut their doors in shame.

On Dec 22, 10:47*pm, Anim8rFSK > wrote:
> *Ubiquitous > wrote:

> > Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with
> > crappy candy and unbent paper clips.
>
> Every part of it is edible! *Except for the styrafoam and tinfoil and
> paper clips and hooks and whatever those damn dots are on. *And that non
> foodsafe tree she's sticking the poison gumdrops on.

Which is more than can be said about the ret of her konkoctions...

> > OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going to
> > feed all those people.
>
> It's worse than that. *It's burnt on the outside, wildly overdone and
> bone dry on the outer rim, and stone cold raw never been cooked in the
> center. *And she put it in a 350 or whatever oven for awhile, then
> turned the oven off and let it sit for TWO HOURS, then took it out to
> REST? *It's been in a damn stone cold oven for at least the last hour. *
> She's serving it all at room temperature.

Sounds normal for her.

> > As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut up
> > family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be white
> > fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!
>
> Yeah. *Merry Chinese Christmas!

Hee! Can you imagine having gone through the hassle and spending your
hard-earned money for those family Xmas pictures, only to discover
"Aunt SLop" had
returned them cut up and glued to some take out containers?

> > SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a
> > styrofoam
>
> Every notice every time she says EVERYONE LOVES THESE it's about
> something NOBODY likes?

I call it "Ye Olde SLopp Swicheroo".

"C'lleen likes White Russians, so I'm going to make her a 'white
Knight Sock-it-to-me'!"

"Kids love raisins, so I'm going to use dried cranberries in their
trail mix!"

> > precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt to
> > simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
> > carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
> > macaroon breasts. The hell?
>
> yeah. *the spuge is supposed to look like icicles, and then she puts a
> red hot. *Looks like somebody with a nosebleed sneezed on it. *Or it's
> Satan's icicles and has little eyes.

Heh.

> > SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a big
> > production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all the
>
> Yeah, exactly when and why and where did they go again?

I wonder if FN paid for her family to join her there in Canada for
that special?

> > work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with them
> > making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat
> > down with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they
> > were going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably
> > didn't understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever she
> > was talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was talking
> > about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".
>
> yeah. *"We're going skiing" *"Um, you do realize it's August??"

Bwah!

> > Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
> > meringues never appeared!
>
> "It looks like a dredle"
>
> Yeah, if your retarded cousin made it, maybe.

As do most of her projects.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!!
We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege
of
Miss Lee.

In article
>,
Ubiquitous > wrote:

> On Dec 22, 10:47*pm, Anim8rFSK > wrote:
> > *Ubiquitous > wrote:
>
> > > Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with
> > > crappy candy and unbent paper clips.
> >
> > Every part of it is edible! *Except for the styrafoam and tinfoil and
> > paper clips and hooks and whatever those damn dots are on. *And that non
> > foodsafe tree she's sticking the poison gumdrops on.
>
> Which is more than can be said about the ret of her konkoctions...
>
> > > OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going
> > > to
> > > feed all those people.
> >
> > It's worse than that. *It's burnt on the outside, wildly overdone and
> > bone dry on the outer rim, and stone cold raw never been cooked in the
> > center. *And she put it in a 350 or whatever oven for awhile, then
> > turned the oven off and let it sit for TWO HOURS, then took it out to
> > REST? *It's been in a damn stone cold oven for at least the last hour. *
> > She's serving it all at room temperature.
>
> Sounds normal for her.
>
> > > As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut
> > > up
> > > family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be white
> > > fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!
> >
> > Yeah. *Merry Chinese Christmas!
>
> Hee! Can you imagine having gone through the hassle and spending your
> hard-earned money for those family Xmas pictures, only to discover
> "Aunt SLop" had
> returned them cut up and glued to some take out containers?

Mom was SCREAMING at SLoP about her cutting up the pictures.
>
> > > SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a
> > > styrofoam
> >
> > Every notice every time she says EVERYONE LOVES THESE it's about
> > something NOBODY likes?
>
> I call it "Ye Olde SLopp Swicheroo".
>
> "C'lleen likes White Russians, so I'm going to make her a 'white
> Knight Sock-it-to-me'!"
>
> "Kids love raisins, so I'm going to use dried cranberries in their
> trail mix!"
>
> > > precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt
> > > to
> > > simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
> > > carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
> > > macaroon breasts. The hell?
> >
> > yeah. *the spuge is supposed to look like icicles, and then she puts a
> > red hot. *Looks like somebody with a nosebleed sneezed on it. *Or it's
> > Satan's icicles and has little eyes.
>
> Heh.
>
> > > SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a
> > > big
> > > production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all
> > > the
> >
> > Yeah, exactly when and why and where did they go again?
>
> I wonder if FN paid for her family to join her there in Canada for
> that special?

She STUCK THINGS ON THE CHAIRS in a rented house?

And we never saw the OUTSIDE of the house, except in that front door
that was less convincing than a soap opera exterior set?

I realize they actually shot the thing nowhere near Xmas, but still . .
.. why Canada?
>
> > > work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with
> > > them
> > > making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat
> > > down with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they
> > > were going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably
> > > didn't understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever
> > > she
> > > was talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was
> > > talking
> > > about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".
> >
> > yeah. *"We're going skiing" *"Um, you do realize it's August??"
>
> Bwah!
>
> > > Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those
> > > store-bought
> > > meringues never appeared!
> >
> > "It looks like a dredle"
> >
> > Yeah, if your retarded cousin made it, maybe.
>
> As do most of her projects.
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!!
> We
> assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
> the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
> sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege
> of
> Miss Lee.

--
R.I.P. Bionic Woman:
The latest reason the WGA should revoke Laeta Kalogridis's union card,
or shut their doors in shame.