SLop begins by claiming she rented out a house in Whistler(?), Canada for
Christmas this year. Yeah, like we're sppsd to believe she dragged all her
Christmas and kitchen crap to Canada for this one-time special occasion. If
there were people carrying torches and pitchforks behind her, I could
believe it. Maybe.

I love how she tells us to look at how the salmon cream cheese in her bowl
looks while the bowl is facing AWAY from the camera, then totally covers it
up with dill clippings, creating for what all practical purposes looks like
a baseball mound.

Sandra claims she loves Hanukkah and celebrating all its traditions, so she
glued together a bunch of store-bought meringues and painted them with blue
frosting, the "color of Hanukkah" and tells us she invited a "special
guest" to her Xmas party. Is it Hanukkah Harry, perhaps?

Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with
crappy candy and unbent paper clips. It's like watching Saddam Insane with
those kids before the first Gulf War. Wow, seeing Brycer explains a LOT. I
have to wonder if he's a "special child", if you get my drift. Naturally,
since the kids were expecting sugarplums, she used cheap crappy candy...
Did anyone else cringe when she talked about using hooks and/or paperclips
to attach the candy to her sugarplum tree?

While the kids played with the Gumdrop Shrike Tree, SLop returned to the
kitchen to make cookies. Did anyone else notice that in the shot right
before she mixed up the cookie dough in the KA, when she pours the vanilla
in, the two eggs were on one side of the bowl and the cream cheese was at
the other side, looking like a face? I was half-expecting it to croak out
"kill me...."!

Wow, I'd have NEVER thought of putting the hanging holes in my cookies
before I baked them, but why did she put them so far from the edge? I also
noticed that she made a big deal about not making the cookies too brown but
was going to cover them up with icing anyway.

SLop claims that these cookies will "taste like they've been baking for
hours". I sure hope not, because they'd be lumps of charcoal, but then
again, this might be an improvement for her.

Did she say she dumped the ENTIRE bottle of red food coloring into that
white icing?

OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going
to feed all those people.

As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut
up family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be
white fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!

In one of MANY very obvious voiceovers, there was a voiceover while she was
enthusiastically waving her hands around and pointing at things on the
mantle. Oh how I'd LOVE to know what she was really saying!

SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a
styrofoam cone in aluminum foil (so food doesn't touch the styrofoam) and
using a thick sugar and water mixture as adhesive. Can you at least
pronounce "macaroon" correctly? And no, I don't like them, but thanks so
much for asking! SLop precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole
thing in an attempt to simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's
dripping! SLop finishes by carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon,
creating what appear to be macaroon breasts. The hell?

Was I the only one creeped out by her trying to get her nephews to kiss
her?

Hey, lookit the gumdrop shrike tree! The secret to her eggnog is chocolate
liqueur? I guess the kids go hungry AND thirsty tonight.

Why did she put that dough wreath soaked with all sorts of butter and oils
into the oven on an UPSIDE DOWN baking sheet? Isn't everything going to
drip down onto the bottom of the oven?

Just how much booze did she pour into that drink, anyway? She didn't
specify how much but practically turned the bottles upside-down and started
to shake them in an effort to empty them out after pouring ONE cup for the
children. So what do the other kids drink, or if, heaven forbid, the "lucky
one" wants a refill?

SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a
big production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see
all the work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it
with them making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When
SLop sat down with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked
what they were going to do during the week and no one answered her. They
probably didn't understand they were supposed to lie and go along with
whatever she was talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell
she was talking about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling
"outside".

SLop asks Colleen "Would you like another cocktail, honey?", followed by a
quick cut away so we don't see her giving SLop some stinkeye. Bwah! With a
cheery "Go ahead and start without me!", Sandra pretends to go outside to
"play in the snow", leaving her family to stare bewilderedly at a table
devoid of food. Snow. In the studio. Dunce. She rambles a bit "outside"
until her visibly embarrassed nieces and nephews ask her to come back
"inside". I wonder if that happens every Christmas at the Lee house?

Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
meringues never appeared!


--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating
the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not
sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of
Miss Lee.

Ubiquitous wrote:
> SLop begins

Satan began by claiming you, and now you are his forever.