In article >,
Ubiquitous > wrote:

> SLop begins by claiming she rented out a house in Whistler(?), Canada for
> Christmas this year. Yeah, like we're sppsd to believe she dragged all her
> Christmas and kitchen crap to Canada for this one-time special occasion. If
> there were people carrying torches and pitchforks behind her, I could believe
> it. Maybe.
>
> I love how she tells us to look at how the salmon cream cheese in her bowl
> looks while the bowl is facing AWAY from the camera, then totally covers it
> up
> with dill clippings, creating for what all practical purposes looks like a
> baseball mound.
>
> Sandra claims she loves Hanukkah and celebrating all its traditions, so she
> glued together a bunch of store-bought meringues and painted them with blue
> frosting, the "color of Hanukkah" and tells us she invited a "special guest"
> to her Xmas party. Is it Hanukkah Harry, perhaps?
>
> Poor kids. Forced to help crazy Aunt Sandy make a "sugarplum tree" with
> crappy
> candy and unbent paper clips.

Every part of it is edible! Except for the styrafoam and tinfoil and
paper clips and hooks and whatever those damn dots are on. And that non
foodsafe tree she's sticking the poison gumdrops on.

It's like watching Saddam Insane with those
> kids
> before the first Gulf War. Wow, seeing Brycer explains a LOT. I have to
> wonder
> if he's a "special child", if you get my drift. Naturally, since the kids
> were
> expecting sugarplums, she used cheap crappy candy... Did anyone else cringe
> when she talked about using hooks and/or paperclips to attach the candy to
> her
> sugarplum tree?

Oh yeah
>
> While the kids played with the Gumdrop Shrike Tree, SLop returned to the
> kitchen to make cookies. Did anyone else notice that in the shot right before
> she mixed up the cookie dough in the KA, when she pours the vanilla in, the
> two eggs were on one side of the bowl and the cream cheese was at the other
> side, looking like a face? I was half-expecting it to croak out "kill
> me...."!
>
> Wow, I'd have NEVER thought of putting the hanging holes in my cookies before
> I baked them, but why did she put them so far from the edge? I also noticed
> that she made a big deal about not making the cookies too brown but was going
> to cover them up with icing anyway.
>
> SLop claims that these cookies will "taste like they've been baking for
> hours". I sure hope not, because they'd be lumps of charcoal, but then again,
> this might be an improvement for her.
>
> Did she say she dumped the ENTIRE bottle of red food coloring into that white
> icing?
>
> OMG! She burnt the prime rib! And no way in hell is that tiny thing going to
> feed all those people.

It's worse than that. It's burnt on the outside, wildly overdone and
bone dry on the outer rim, and stone cold raw never been cooked in the
center. And she put it in a 350 or whatever oven for awhile, then
turned the oven off and let it sit for TWO HOURS, then took it out to
REST? It's been in a damn stone cold oven for at least the last hour.
She's serving it all at room temperature.
>
> As gifts for her guests, SLop took Chinese take-out containers, glued cut up
> family photos to the sides, and filled them with what appears to be white
> fudge coated Oreo cookies. What a cheap bitch!

Yeah. Merry Chinese Christmas!
>
> In one of MANY very obvious voiceovers, there was a voiceover while she was
> enthusiastically waving her hands around and pointing at things on the
> mantle.
> Oh how I'd LOVE to know what she was really saying!
>
> SLop makes a macaroon topiary tree decoration/display by wrapping a styrofoam

Every notice every time she says EVERYONE LOVES THESE it's about
something NOBODY likes?

> cone in aluminum foil (so food doesn't touch the styrofoam) and using a thick
> sugar and water mixture as adhesive. Can you at least pronounce "macaroon"
> correctly? And no, I don't like them, but thanks so much for asking! SLop

Like macaroons.

> precedes to dribble the remaining goo over the whole thing in an attempt to
> simulate snow. Snow should NOT look like it's dripping! SLop finishes by
> carefully placing a red-hot on each macaroon, creating what appear to be
> macaroon breasts. The hell?

yeah. the spuge is supposed to look like icicles, and then she puts a
red hot. Looks like somebody with a nosebleed sneezed on it. Or it's
Satan's icicles and has little eyes.
>
> Was I the only one creeped out by her trying to get her nephews to kiss her?
>
> Hey, lookit the gumdrop shrike tree! The secret to her eggnog is chocolate
> liqueur? I guess the kids go hungry AND thirsty tonight.
>
> Why did she put that dough wreath soaked with all sorts of butter and oils
> into the oven on an UPSIDE DOWN baking sheet? Isn't everything going to drip
> down onto the bottom of the oven?
>
> Just how much booze did she pour into that drink, anyway? She didn't specify
> how much but practically turned the bottles upside-down and started to shake
> them in an effort to empty them out after pouring ONE cup for the children.
> So
> what do the other kids drink, or if, heaven forbid, the "lucky one" wants a
> refill?
>
> SLop initially had everyone loitering in the living room and then made a big
> production at the end of having everyone come down the stairs to see all the

Yeah, exactly when and why and where did they go again?

> work she had done, but only after she spent the earlier part of it with them
> making the "sugar plum" tree and the gumdrop shrike tree. When SLop sat down
> with her "family", it was painfully awkward when she asked what they were
> going to do during the week and no one answered her. They probably didn't

Because no one else is allowed to talk.

> understand they were supposed to lie and go along with whatever she was
> talking about. They also probably wondered what the hell she was talking
> about, as it was just asbestos snow that was falling "outside".

yeah. "We're going skiing" "Um, you do realize it's August??"
>
> SLop asks Colleen "Would you like another cocktail, honey?", followed by a
> quick cut away so we don't see her giving SLop some stinkeye. Bwah! With a
> cheery "Go ahead and start without me!", Sandra pretends to go outside to
> "play in the snow", leaving her family to stare bewilderedly at a table
> devoid
> of food. Snow. In the studio. Dunce. She rambles a bit "outside" until her
> visibly embarrassed nieces and nephews ask her to come back "inside". I
> wonder
> if that happens every Christmas at the Lee house?
>
> Which reminds me -- the special Jew for whom she painted those store-bought
> meringues never appeared!

"It looks like a dredle"

Yeah, if your retarded cousin made it, maybe.

Did get me to start singing the South Park song though:

(kyle)
i have a litle dradle
i made it out of clay
and when its dry and ready
with dradle i shall play
dradle dradle dradle i made you out of clay
dradle dradle dradle with dradle i shall play

(cartman)
heres a little dradle thats small and made of clay
but im not gonna play with it cuz dradles freakin ***
jews......play stupid games
jews......thats why they're lame
jews......play stupid games
jews......thats why they're lame

(stan)
ill try to make it spin
it fell ill try again

(dad)
courtney cox......i love you
coutrney cox......you're so hot on that show

--
R.I.P. Bionic Woman:
The latest reason the WGA should revoke Laeta Kalogridis's union card,
or shut their doors in shame.