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![]() Puester wrote: > Sorry, Elaine, but I have never heards of the protocols, either. > I do know enough to pick up clues from hy host's behavior, but please > let us in on your father's teaching--what is a host spupposed to say and > what does it really mean? > > gloria p I am puzzled as well. AFAIC, if I am hosting you may order whatever you'd like. That's what hosting is all about, I thought. -L. |
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![]() >> >>OMG. I have no words for this. It must be difficult to share meals with >>such people (may I suggest going to the movies instead?). How can I >>begin to express my sympathy? > > > Just one word comes to mind. Grateful. > > Bill > But wouldn't that rub in unfairness? ![]() |
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![]() > >>No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, > > > And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. > > People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the > ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time > then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently > unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. > > nancy > > I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather than 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have found it difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from me. Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my home (I love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or choosing other activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works well enough for the situation to be acceptable. |
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On Sun 15 Jan 2006 01:37:58p, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it D.Currie?
> > "Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message > . .. >> I've thought more about the question of what makes a fussy adult and >> how to deal with them. I've decided that the definition of fussy is >> someone who can't find anything to eat in a restaurant or social >> gathering or someone who can't be polite in those situations. >> > > Thinking even more about this, If you have to change the way you cook to > accommodate someone's list of banned foods (barring medical or religious > reasons) then they might be considered fussy. Unless of course your own > cooking is quirky to begin with. > > But consider this list of foods that one couple has, at one time or > another, said they don't like/can't eat: onion, black pepper, celery > seed/celery salt, oregano, marjoram, basil, mint, rosemary, Mexican > food, Italian food, spicy food of any sort, olive oil, winter squash, > chocolate, cucumber, corn, garlic, chicken gizzards, liver, anything in > the cabbage family, dressing on salad, raw tomato, cumin, most ethnic > foods, and most spices/herbs/seasonings, asparagus, radishes, spinach, > sourdough bread, rye bread...and I've never seen them eat any sort of > fish or seafood. Oh, I'm sure I'm missing a few things; I'm still > compiling the list. > > And, they've commented on other dinners they've had pointing out fatal > flaws in the cooking. For example, one time they were served baked > potato with a ham dinner and that "ruined the meal." Okay, baked potato > with ham wouldn't be my first choice, but it wouldn't ruin the meal for > me. There have been similar comments, criticizing other meals they've > been served and each time I've thought that the comment was overly > critical. > > When we dine at their house, the vegetable is invariably green beans > (frozen, never fresh) with fake bacon bits on top, and there are no > spices or seasonings used on anything. Not even salt. No butter, either. > Anywhere. If there is butter on the table, it is actually margarine > mixed with some sort of oil and either sugar or corn syrup as she > doesn't like hard butter, and it's too much trouble to take it out of > the fridge ahead of time. I'll tell ya, it's a shock when you butter a > roll and the "butter" is sweet. And this is the same person who makes > "gravy" from flour and water, and I once saw her dress a salad with > watered-down ketchup. And the many times we've eaten ham there (one of > their favorites) it's not cooked, it's microwaved, and then she pours > maple-flavored pancake syrup on top. > > When they've dined with us, they've eaten a number of things on their > "banned" list, particularly the spices/herbs/seasonings/flavorings. And > they rave about how good it is, and take second and third and fourth > helpings. But if you ask them if they like oregano or rosemary or sage, > for example, they'll say no. Which makes cooking for them somewhat of a > challenge because I'm never sure if they really don't like something, or > if it's just something they say they don't like because they don't have > it at home. > > And the list is getting longer. It seems like each time we eat with > them, they tell us about more foods they don't like. It not as bad as it > seems, though, as there are some things I know I can cook for them. But > I wouldn't want to eat with them on a daily basis. People like that would never darken my door again, nor would I eat with them in a restaurant. Geesh! -- Wayne Boatwright Õ¿Õ¬ __________________________________________________ "One man's meat is another man's poison" - Oswald Dykes, English writer, 1709. |
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![]() P.Aitken wrote: > > I think it is weird to take people to dinner, offering to pay, at a > restaurant where a lot of the menu items are too expensive and you > expect your guests to somehow know they should order only the less > expensive items. No, guests should not order the most expensive menu > item, Why not? If that's what they want to eat, they should order it. It is up to the host to choose the restaurant that is within his or her budget. I seriously don't understand why people get hung up on menu prices. I mean, it's just not something I consider when hosting another couple or family. I am more concerned that they have a menu from which everyone can find something to order. > but they should be free to order items that are typical for the > place. If the host has a limited budget he should choose the restaurant > accordingly. Bingo. -L. |
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![]() D.Currie wrote: > Thinking even more about this, If you have to change the way you cook to > accommodate someone's list of banned foods (barring medical or religious > reasons) then they might be considered fussy. Unless of course your own > cooking is quirky to begin with. I don't - or won't. Don't like my cooking, don't come to eat. > > But consider this list of foods that one couple has, at one time or another, > said they don't like/can't eat: onion, black pepper, celery seed/celery > salt, oregano, marjoram, basil, mint, rosemary, Mexican food, Italian food, > spicy food of any sort, olive oil, winter squash, chocolate, cucumber, corn, > garlic, chicken gizzards, liver, anything in the cabbage family, dressing on > salad, raw tomato, cumin, most ethnic foods, and most > spices/herbs/seasonings, asparagus, radishes, spinach, sourdough bread, rye > bread...and I've never seen them eat any sort of fish or seafood. Oh, I'm > sure I'm missing a few things; I'm still compiling the list. > > And, they've commented on other dinners they've had pointing out fatal flaws > in the cooking. For example, one time they were served baked potato with a > ham dinner and that "ruined the meal." Okay, baked potato with ham wouldn't > be my first choice, but it wouldn't ruin the meal for me. There have been > similar comments, criticizing other meals they've been served and each time > I've thought that the comment was overly critical. > > When we dine at their house, the vegetable is invariably green beans > (frozen, never fresh) with fake bacon bits on top, and there are no spices > or seasonings used on anything. Not even salt. No butter, either. Anywhere. > If there is butter on the table, it is actually margarine mixed with some > sort of oil and either sugar or corn syrup as she doesn't like hard butter, > and it's too much trouble to take it out of the fridge ahead of time. I'll > tell ya, it's a shock when you butter a roll and the "butter" is sweet. And > this is the same person who makes "gravy" from flour and water, and I once > saw her dress a salad with watered-down ketchup. And the many times we've > eaten ham there (one of their favorites) it's not cooked, it's microwaved, > and then she pours maple-flavored pancake syrup on top. I am shuddering. Literally. > > When they've dined with us, they've eaten a number of things on their > "banned" list, particularly the spices/herbs/seasonings/flavorings. And they > rave about how good it is, and take second and third and fourth helpings. > But if you ask them if they like oregano or rosemary or sage, for example, > they'll say no. Which makes cooking for them somewhat of a challenge because > I'm never sure if they really don't like something, or if it's just > something they say they don't like because they don't have it at home. Screw it. Cook how ever you like. They can always decline the next invitation. > > And the list is getting longer. It seems like each time we eat with them, > they tell us about more foods they don't like. It not as bad as it seems, > though, as there are some things I know I can cook for them. But I wouldn't > want to eat with them on a daily basis. I probably wouldn't invite them back. They must be some awsome conversationalists to have to put up with that... There is such a thing as being a gracious guest. I have swallowed whole some of the nastiest fermented fish goo-goop crap ordered by our Chinese hosts at an ethnic restaurant in SF. I mean this stuff was *foul*. And they probably thought I enjoyed it. I simply swallowed my gag reflex repeatedly and held my nose. All the while with a smile on my face! -L. |
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![]() "jake" > wrote >> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >> nancy > I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather than > 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have found it > difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from me. I understand that, and it's been a matter of discussion here many times. People should be aware when someone is ordering a lot less or that they are spending a lot more and should chip in accordingly. Somehow there are people oblivious to this. > Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my home (I > love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or choosing other > activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works well enough for > the situation to be acceptable. That's a very good alternative in some situations, I like that. nancy |
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Nancy Young wrote:
> "P.Aitken" > wrote > wrote: >> >>>Nancy Young wrote: > > >>>>I guess they hadn't gotten around to the lesson where you don't >>>>order everything on the menu when someone else is paying? > >>>He was making sure that they felt free to order whatever they wanted. >>> ![]() ![]() >>> >>>The cost really didn't bother him, rather he was shocked I think he was >>>expecting the Kids Menu hamburger. > >>I think it is weird to take people to dinner, offering to pay, at a >>restaurant where a lot of the menu items are too expensive and you expect >>your guests to somehow know they should order only the less expensive >>items. > > > Adults should know, and kids should too. You take your > cue from what other people are ordering, it's only polite. > How exactly does this work? How does the first person to order - who is almost never the host - decide what to order? How is this person to know what the host expects in terms of expenses? If I treat people to a meal, the point is to enjoy ourselves and, to a lesser extent, to express my regard for these people through my generosity. I do not want anyone worrying about what to order or the cost, I want them to choose what they like and enjoy it. If I cannot afford it, I don't do it in the first place. That seems pretty simple to me. > If I'm eating out, I order whatever I want. I don't care if it's > the 5 most expensive items from column A B & C. It never > is, but that's not the point. If I'm eating out and someone else > is paying, yes, I'm careful to order along the lines of what they > order, pricewise. Or lower. And the number of courses > they order, as well. You automatically assume that your host is a cheapskate who cares more about the cost of the meal than the enjoyment of his guests. I would be insulted to have my guests think of me that way. > Never too young to teach children to think of others. I agree. Better to think of your host as a generous person concerned with your enjoyment than a pinchpenny who offered to pay for dinner but does not really want to part with any of his money. > It > should be brought to their attention that you might order > differently when grandpa is paying vs mom and dad. Why on earth would parents or grandparents take kids to a restaurant they could not afford? And then expect the kids to figure out that they really do not want to pay for anything but the cheapest items on the menu? > It's just manners, that's all. Saying "it's just manners" is usually - and certainly in this case - a way of saying that people should do things your way without providing any valid justification. > >>No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, > > And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. Yes, and the line is just below those most expensive items. Most restaurants have a few luxury items that stand out in terms of cost - and I agree that those should be avoided when someone else is paying (unless it's Donald Trump!). But I repeat, if a host takes people to a restaurant and then objects to them ordering typical menu items, then it is totally the host's fault. > People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the > ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time > then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently > unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. Totally unrelated. We are talking about a situation where a host has agreed to pay for your meal. Splitting the bill equally is a different situation. I have a strong aversion to cheapness - which is different from having a limited budget. If you cannot afford something, fine, I have been (and will be) in that situation many times. Say so, no problem. "We can't go the Chez Fancy." But trying to play the generous host (by offering to pay for dinner) and then objecting when your guests take you at your word is petty and sleazy. Peter |
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![]() "P.Aitken" > wrote > Nancy Young wrote: >> Adults should know, and kids should too. You take your >> cue from what other people are ordering, it's only polite. > How exactly does this work? How does the first person to order - who is > almost never the host - decide what to order? How is this person to know > what the host expects in terms of expenses? Somehow, in some way, people do manage to do that all the time. Perhaps reading a book on business ettiquette when dining out would clarify some of the protocols. Don't go getting all excited, I know dinner with grandpa is not dinner with a prospective boss/whatever. > If I treat people to a meal, the point is to enjoy ourselves and, to a > lesser extent, to express my regard for these people through my > generosity. I do not want anyone worrying about what to order or the cost, > I want them to choose what they like and enjoy it. If I cannot afford it, > I don't do it in the first place. That seems pretty simple to me. Nothing wrong with that, assuming these are people who like you. >> If I'm eating out, I order whatever I want. I don't care if it's >> the 5 most expensive items from column A B & C. It never >> is, but that's not the point. If I'm eating out and someone else >> is paying, yes, I'm careful to order along the lines of what they >> order, pricewise. Or lower. And the number of courses >> they order, as well. > > You automatically assume that your host is a cheapskate who cares more > about the cost of the meal than the enjoyment of his guests. I would be > insulted to have my guests think of me that way. So, someone invites me out to eat, and I'm going to think they are a cheapskate. There's a leap. Uh ... they are taking me out, how cheap can they be? >> Never too young to teach children to think of others. > > I agree. Better to think of your host as a generous person concerned with > your enjoyment than a pinchpenny who offered to pay for dinner but does > not really want to part with any of his money. My parents had their faults, just as we all do (even you!), but they didn't let us order just anything on the menu, especially when great aunt sarah or uncle joe was paying. We were raised better than to go all out when ordering. >> It >> should be brought to their attention that you might order >> differently when grandpa is paying vs mom and dad. > > Why on earth would parents or grandparents take kids to a restaurant they > could not afford? Perhaps because grandpa can't cook for a crowd? > And then expect the kids to figure out that they really do not want to > pay for anything but the cheapest > items on the menu? Who said the cheapest thing on the menu, and the situation that started this was about kids ordering expensive food, not just one course, either. >> It's just manners, that's all. > > Saying "it's just manners" is usually - and certainly in this case - a way > of saying that people should do things your way without providing any > valid justification. My way? If my way means I don't go whole hog on someone else's dime, then okay, that's my way. You got me. >>>No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, >> >> And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. > > Yes, and the line is just below those most expensive items. Oh! That clears it up. I should have known that. (laugh) > Most restaurants have a few luxury items that stand out in terms of cost - > and I agree that those should be avoided when someone else is paying > (unless it's Donald Trump!). Stop right there. I do not care if it's Donald Trump. My manners do not change because someone can afford it, perhaps that's because it's manners. Uh uh. No. Manners don't - or shouldn't - change like that. > But I repeat, if a host takes people to a restaurant and then objects to > them ordering typical menu items, then it is totally the host's fault. I didn't see where the elderly relative objected at all. I don't see where anyone objected. And that's another thing. No offense to the OP, but I did see later where they said something like, he got what he deserved. Personally, maybe it's just me, I would be upset to find out someone said, I deserved what I got by taking people out for dinner. I don't deserve anything bad by taking people out to dinner, except maybe a meal with people who'd never say such a thing about me. >> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. > > Totally unrelated. We are talking about a situation where a host has > agreed to pay for your meal. Splitting the bill equally is a different > situation. No flies on you, huh? I said, they are the people who turn out like that. I didn't say anything about it being the same in this situation. > I have a strong aversion to cheapness - which is different from having a > limited budget. Cheapness is a trait I really abhor. And yes, it's much different from not having the money. > If you cannot afford something, fine, I have been (and will be) in that > situation many times. Say so, no problem. "We can't go the Chez Fancy." > But trying to play the generous host (by offering to pay for dinner) and > then objecting when your guests take you at your word is petty and sleazy. No. One. Objected. But yes, there is more to manners than just not running around the dining room. Of course, you would like to turn it into me saying that everyone should just order water. It's not the case, so don't bother. I've taken many people out to eat, and I've been taken out to eat by people many times. I've seen it all. One person, I know she was kinda tight for money, we were having lunch, I said, I got a raise, lunch is on me, she said, Oh, good, in that case I'll have an appetizer! Learn a lot about people eating with them. Oddly, if you liked me enough to eat with me, I don't think we'd have any problems with who ordered what or how much or whatever, but you do like to make things extreme around here, just to argue. It seems. With me. nancy |
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jake wrote:
> >> >>> No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, >> >> >> >> And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. >> >> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >> >> nancy >> > I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather > than 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have > found it difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from > me. Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my home > (I love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or choosing other > activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works well enough for > the situation to be acceptable. am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no one is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for it. There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys do it that way? -- saerah http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/ "Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." -Baruch Spinoza "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -Douglas Adams |
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P.Aitken wrote:
> Nancy Young wrote: > >>>>I guess they hadn't gotten around to the lesson where you don't > >>>>order everything on the menu when someone else is paying? > > Adults should know, and kids should too. You take your > > cue from what other people are ordering, it's only polite. > > > How exactly does this work? How does the first person to order - who is > almost never the host - decide what to order? How is this person to know > what the host expects in terms of expenses? Brief replies to a number of issues raised in this thread/sub-thread: What I was taught as a child was to observe the hostess, who always ordered first. Whatever she ordered set the price limit for all the guests. I think this was once widely known as "etiquette", but of course it is not widely done nowadays. If you do see your hostess ordering first, it probably would still work as a rule of thumb. At a hosted Chinese meal all the dishes are often ordered, or pre-ordered, by the host. No problem. When I'm the host I usually say at the outset, "Order whatever you like, this is a special occasion!" Or something along those lines. As to children who are old enough to order for themselves, I love it when they are adventurous enough to step out and try new things. If I'm the host and want adults only, I say so with the invitation. But when children are welcome for the occasion, then they can order whatever they want, just like the adults. -aem |
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![]() > am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no one > is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for it. > There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys do it > that way? > I do it because of group pressure from people who have already entered the stadium of semi-drunkenness (when the bill arrives) and who don't give nearly as much thought to budgets as I do. Or who may simply never have been as poor as I have been and thus have a different understanding of money. I feel very uncomfortable bringing the subject up (it 5:1). |
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P.Aitken wrote:
> Nancy Young wrote: > >> "P.Aitken" > wrote >> >>> wrote: >>> >>>> Nancy Young wrote: <snip> > > How exactly does this work? How does the first person to order - who is > almost never the host - decide what to order? How is this person to know > what the host expects in terms of expenses? I have often said "wow! everything looks so wonderful, what are you going to have?" ![]() price range of the answer. I only order an appitizer if the person paying asks if we want one, only drink alcohol if they are etc etc...it's not that hard really. Roberta (in VA) |
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Nancy Young wrote:
> "jake" > wrote > > >>>People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >>>ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >>>then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >>>unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >>>nancy > > >>I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather than >>2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have found it >>difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from me. > > > I understand that, and it's been a matter of discussion here many > times. People should be aware when someone is ordering a lot > less or that they are spending a lot more and should chip in > accordingly. Somehow there are people oblivious to this. > Yes. It amazes me. But I am more money conscious people than most people. It is simply beyond em that people can spend money without thinking. My savings account makes me feel good. I suspect theirs don't. > >>Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my home (I >>love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or choosing other >>activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works well enough for >>the situation to be acceptable. > > > That's a very good alternative in some situations, I like that. > > nancy > > |
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jake wrote:
> >> am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no >> one is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for >> it. There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys >> do it that way? >> > I do it because of group pressure from people who have already entered > the stadium of semi-drunkenness (when the bill arrives) and who don't > give nearly as much thought to budgets as I do. Or who may simply never > have been as poor as I have been and thus have a different understanding > of money. I feel very uncomfortable bringing the subject up (it 5:1). I still don't get it. I would simply put down enough to cover what I ordered and the corresponding tip, and let them split the rest of the bill in whatever asinine way they chose to. Would your friends really get that ****ed off if you did that? -- saerah http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/ "Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." -Baruch Spinoza "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -Douglas Adams |
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sarah bennett wrote:
> jake wrote: > >> >>> am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no >>> one is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for >>> it. There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys >>> do it that way? >>> >> I do it because of group pressure from people who have already entered >> the stadium of semi-drunkenness (when the bill arrives) and who don't >> give nearly as much thought to budgets as I do. Or who may simply >> never have been as poor as I have been and thus have a different >> understanding of money. I feel very uncomfortable bringing the subject >> up (it 5:1). > > > I still don't get it. I would simply put down enough to cover what I > ordered and the corresponding tip, and let them split the rest of the > bill in whatever asinine way they chose to. Would your friends really > get that ****ed off if you did that? > When the bill comes, people will do some math out loud to the effect of everyone paying the same amount. I'd have to make a point of it. I just don't feel comfortable doing that. I am not sure if they would get ****ed off. I think they'd think I was cheap. To their standards, I might very well be. BTW, this happens around male friends. Never around female friends. I am happy to pay for people who have considerably less money than I. I'd rather spend a nice evening with them than worry about money. Especially if otherwise they couldn't participate in certain things. But that's a whole different issue, isn't it. |
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sarah bennett wrote:
> am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no one > is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for it. > There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys do it > that way? Hmmm.... I wonder how many times the issue of splitting bills has been discussed here and in other threads. If I am out with friends I prefer to just split the bill. If I am in a group of acquaintances or co-workers, I want separate checks. If that is not possible, I calculate what I owe, including tax and tip. |
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![]() Nancy Young wrote: > "P.Aitken" > wrote > > >>Nancy Young wrote: > > >>>Adults should know, and kids should too. You take your >>>cue from what other people are ordering, it's only polite. > > >>How exactly does this work? How does the first person to order - who is >>almost never the host - decide what to order? How is this person to know >>what the host expects in terms of expenses? > > > Somehow, in some way, people do manage to do that all > the time. Perhaps reading a book on business ettiquette when > dining out would clarify some of the protocols. Don't go getting > all excited, I know dinner with grandpa is not dinner with a > prospective boss/whatever. > > >>If I treat people to a meal, the point is to enjoy ourselves and, to a >>lesser extent, to express my regard for these people through my >>generosity. I do not want anyone worrying about what to order or the cost, >>I want them to choose what they like and enjoy it. If I cannot afford it, >>I don't do it in the first place. That seems pretty simple to me. > > > Nothing wrong with that, assuming these are people who > like you. > > >>>If I'm eating out, I order whatever I want. I don't care if it's >>>the 5 most expensive items from column A B & C. It never >>>is, but that's not the point. If I'm eating out and someone else >>>is paying, yes, I'm careful to order along the lines of what they >>>order, pricewise. Or lower. And the number of courses >>>they order, as well. >> >>You automatically assume that your host is a cheapskate who cares more >>about the cost of the meal than the enjoyment of his guests. I would be >>insulted to have my guests think of me that way. > > > So, someone invites me out to eat, and I'm going to think they > are a cheapskate. There's a leap. Uh ... they are taking me out, > how cheap can they be? > > >>>Never too young to teach children to think of others. >> >>I agree. Better to think of your host as a generous person concerned with >>your enjoyment than a pinchpenny who offered to pay for dinner but does >>not really want to part with any of his money. > > > My parents had their faults, just as we all do (even you!), > but they didn't let us order just anything on the menu, > especially when great aunt sarah or uncle joe was paying. > > We were raised better than to go all out when ordering. > > >>> It >>>should be brought to their attention that you might order >>>differently when grandpa is paying vs mom and dad. >> >>Why on earth would parents or grandparents take kids to a restaurant they >>could not afford? > > > Perhaps because grandpa can't cook for a crowd? > > >> And then expect the kids to figure out that they really do not want to >>pay for anything but the cheapest >> items on the menu? > > > Who said the cheapest thing on the menu, and the situation > that started this was about kids ordering expensive food, > not just one course, either. > > >>>It's just manners, that's all. >> >>Saying "it's just manners" is usually - and certainly in this case - a way >>of saying that people should do things your way without providing any >>valid justification. > > > My way? If my way means I don't go whole hog on > someone else's dime, then okay, that's my way. You > got me. > > >>>>No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, >>> >>>And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. >> >>Yes, and the line is just below those most expensive items. > > > Oh! That clears it up. I should have known that. (laugh) > > >>Most restaurants have a few luxury items that stand out in terms of cost - >>and I agree that those should be avoided when someone else is paying >>(unless it's Donald Trump!). > > > Stop right there. I do not care if it's Donald Trump. My > manners do not change because someone can afford it, perhaps > that's because it's manners. Uh uh. No. Manners don't - or > shouldn't - change like that. > > >>But I repeat, if a host takes people to a restaurant and then objects to >>them ordering typical menu items, then it is totally the host's fault. > > > I didn't see where the elderly relative objected at all. > I don't see where anyone objected. > > And that's another thing. No offense to the OP, but I did > see later where they said something like, he got what he > deserved. > > Personally, maybe it's just me, I would be upset to > find out someone said, I deserved what I got by taking > people out for dinner. I don't deserve anything bad by > taking people out to dinner, except maybe a meal with > people who'd never say such a thing about me. > > >>>People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >>>ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >>>then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >>>unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >> >>Totally unrelated. We are talking about a situation where a host has >>agreed to pay for your meal. Splitting the bill equally is a different >>situation. > > > No flies on you, huh? I said, they are the people who turn > out like that. I didn't say anything about it being the same in > this situation. > > >>I have a strong aversion to cheapness - which is different from having a >>limited budget. > > > Cheapness is a trait I really abhor. And yes, it's much different > from not having the money. > > >>If you cannot afford something, fine, I have been (and will be) in that >>situation many times. Say so, no problem. "We can't go the Chez Fancy." >>But trying to play the generous host (by offering to pay for dinner) and >>then objecting when your guests take you at your word is petty and sleazy. > > > No. One. Objected. > > But yes, there is more to manners than just not running > around the dining room. Of course, you would like to turn > it into me saying that everyone should just order water. > It's not the case, so don't bother. > > I've taken many people out to eat, and I've been taken out to > eat by people many times. I've seen it all. One person, I know > she was kinda tight for money, we were having lunch, I said, > I got a raise, lunch is on me, she said, Oh, good, in that case > I'll have an appetizer! > > Learn a lot about people eating with them. > > Oddly, if you liked me enough to eat with me, I don't think > we'd have any problems with who ordered what or how much > or whatever, but you do like to make things extreme around here, > just to argue. It seems. With me. > > nancy > > I don't want to get into one of those endless discussions. I do not think you understand my point, and perhaps I don't understand yours. But I'd love to eat with you, and if you are buying I promise to order only *one* lobster with foie gras, truffles, and caviar <g>! Peter |
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sarah bennett wrote:
> I still don't get it. I would simply put down enough to cover what I > ordered and the corresponding tip, and let them split the rest of the > bill in whatever asinine way they chose to. Would your friends really > get that ****ed off if you did that? That's a good approach if you are willing to take on the responsibility of gathering up all the money and making the payment to the waiter or cashier, and perhaps be responsible for making up for any shortage. Unfortunately, there always seems to be at least one in a group who is going to try to pay less than their share. I had co-workers like that. We were usually on an expense account and they all ate less than they claimed, but there were two who could be counted on not to contribute their share. When I organized our Christmas luncheon I specifically requested separate bills, and knowing that there might be flak from the waitresses or kitchen about that I advised that there were a number of cheapskates who wouldn't be be giving any tips if they thought they could be anonymous about their cheapness. We got separate checks. |
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jake wrote:
> BTW, this happens around male friends. Never around female friends. I am > happy to pay for people who have considerably less money than I. I'd > rather spend a nice evening with them than worry about money. Especially > if otherwise they couldn't participate in certain things. But that's a > whole different issue, isn't it. That's a nice thought once in a while. I have certainly done my share of entertaining where I have provided food and drink for people knowing that it would not likely be repaid in kind, but I enjoyed their company and it seemed a small price to pay. However...... it is a different matter when it comes to going out to a bar or restaurant on a regular basis and not only paying their share, but paying the mark-up. Better to entertain at home. I have had some eye openers. We were friends with a couple who liked to drink and party (especially the male half), but who did not have the means. If they came here he drank a lot, and if we went there I had to take a case of beer or a few bottles of wine. I did not object when we polished of 3/4 of a bottle of my Gran Marnier. Two weeks later we were at his place and he apologized that he had nothing to offer. There was a bottle of Chivas under the Christmas tree. I guess the Chivas was too good to offer to me, but the even more expensive Gran Marnier was not too good for him. |
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On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:36:21 -0500, "Nancy Young" > wrote:
> > wrote >> >> My sister brought up her kids the same way. This can be a very >> dangerous thing for the pocket book. I can remember their great uncle >> taking them to dinner and being a bit shocked when the oldest (10-12 >> yr?) started with escargot and proceeded down the menu from there. > >nancy > Our kids were obligated to "try" everything that my wife cooked. I remember a visit from relatives.... When suppertime rolled around, Visiting Dad went out to the local McDonalds, and brought home a BigMac and fries for their picky eater. Our kids were ASTOUNDED !! ...eyes big as saucers.... ....how come HE gets "McDonalds"?? Years afterward, they still spoke of Cousin Mark who didn't have to eat carrots. <rj> |
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jake wrote:
> Nancy Young wrote: > >> "jake" > wrote >> >> >>>> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >>>> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >>>> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >>>> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >>>> nancy >> >> >> >>> I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather >>> than 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I >>> have found it difficult to express I thought it was too much to >>> expect from me. >> >> >> >> I understand that, and it's been a matter of discussion here many >> times. People should be aware when someone is ordering a lot >> less or that they are spending a lot more and should chip in >> accordingly. Somehow there are people oblivious to this. >> > Yes. It amazes me. But I am more money conscious people than most > people. It is simply beyond em that people can spend money without > thinking. My savings account makes me feel good. I suspect theirs don't. > People have all sorts of different attitudes about money and it's important for there to be mutual respect. Note the "mutual" - the frugal person has to respect the generous person as well as vice versa. We've had this problem come up with certain friends. We love them dearly, but they are not nearly as well off as we are and are much more penny-conscious. When we go to eat together, they are only willing to go to really cheap places where we find the food, service, and ambience to be dreadful. We would be happy to treat them at a nicer place but they refuse - misplaced pride I think. I understand where they are coming from but I would much prefer that they accept our genuine offer. A lot of people have trouble accepting generosity. It's a shame, because offering generosity and accepting it are two sides of the same coin. Peter When you are on your death bed will you fondly remember your savings account? I think it would be better to fondly remember the times you were generous with your friends. |
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![]() sarah bennett wrote: > jake wrote: > >> >>> >>>> No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, >>> >>> >>> >>> >>> And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. >>> >>> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >>> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >>> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >>> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >>> >>> nancy >>> >> I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather >> than 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have >> found it difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from >> me. Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my >> home (I love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or >> choosing other activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works >> well enough for the situation to be acceptable. > > > am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no one > is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for it. > There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys do it > that way? > Addition deficit disorder. Seriously, though, people do it because at the end of a group meal people tend to forget who had how many drinks, how much each course cost, and so on. It's a lot easier to split it evenly than to go to the hassle of getting the menu to check prices and so on. Some people pay more, some less, but in theory it averages out over time. In theory. Peter |
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Elaine Parrish wrote:
> > On Tue, 17 Jan 2006, The Bubbo wrote: > >> Elaine Parrish wrote: >> > >> > I don't know who said what, so I clipped everybody's name (E,t <g>) >> >> >> >> > Example: I don't eat raw fish. I know that lots of people adore sushi >> >> > bars, but I can't bring myself to try it. >> >> >> > >> > I don't eat raw fish, either (I don't eat much fish of any kind). >> > >> > A friend of mine adores sushi and I like tempura well enough to get >> > through an evening of her great company. I wasn't sure I was >> > going enjoy sitting across the table from her, though. However, when her >> > sushi plate came, there were two shrimp things (a cube of cold rice, >> > shrimp on top, wrapped in a dark green weed [seaweed?}). >> > >> > Both the shrimp were pink. I didn't know enough about the other fish to >> > know whether or not it was cooked. A little investigating proved that it >> > was, too. >> > >> > Tee hee hee. All the folks that I know that were bragging about eating raw >> > fish were either misinformed or just rattling everyone else's cage. >> > >> > Sashimi is the raw stuff and it isn't offered anywhere around here. But >> > that hasn't stopped most of the people I know from talking about cool it >> > is to eat "raw" fish. <g> >> > >> > The shrimp were very large and very good. It's the cold glob of rice and a >> > huge weed ribbon I can't abide. >> > >> > Elaine, too >> > >> >> There are a few cooked items commonly found on a sushi plate, shrimp is one, >> freshwater eel is another. You can get the shrimp raw, aba-emi, but I don't >> like it and I think it's always overcooked so i avoid the shrimp altogether. >> >> Did your friend only get shrimp? Or did she get a sushi plate that included >> only cooked items? I'm confused about this. What kind of sushi restaurant only >> serves cooked fish? Generally, when I go to get sushi I only get one cooked >> piece, generally the eel. Most of the precooked things (tempura rolls, >> california rolls) tend to be over-flavored and you miss out on the fresh, raw >> flavor of a lot of the fish. Since I have a finite amount of room in my belly, >> I'm going to focus on what I'm paying for, namely raw fish based sushi. >> >> the fish or shrimp over a block of rice is called nigiri, raw fish alone is >> sashimi, rolls are maki. >> >> -- >> .:Heather:. >> www.velvet-c.com >> Step off, beyotches, I'm the roflpimp! >> > > > Geez, I don't know. Sheesh, I live in Plum Nelly (Plum outta the city and > Nelly outta the county <g>). To the west is Podunk, to the east is > Alabama, and to the north is the "wide place in the road". This is not the > end of the earth, but you can see it from here. > > A Japanese restaurant opened up here. They have a sushi bar. My friend > ordered the sushi plate. Everything was served on a block of rice and > everything was "steamed". > > She's a military brat and has lived all over. She has eaten raw fish > (IMHO: boo, hiss). I didn't want the details (that was after she began a > story about something still wiggling). > > She admitted (to my whining about raw fish) that what she had was steamed. > I guess she could tell by the taste. > > This little Asian man was walking around the place like the manager. > Oddly, he looked Chinese. He and my friend struck up a conversation. Come > to find out, he was a Chinese man that owned this Japanese restaurant who > had been in the restaurant business for 40 some odd years - most > recently, he had owned a Mexican restaurant. Nice man. Interesting life. > > Anyway, our little town is overrun by Chinese and Mexican restaurants (all > having been "Americanized". sheesh), so he decided to go Japanese. So, I'm > not holding my breath that there is any resemblence to "real" Japanese > food here. He did say the fish was steamed because [backwoods] Americans > like it better that way. The tempura is good - more or less. > > About this time, I am sorely tempted to ask for a burrito, but alas... > > So, that is the story of the sushi. > > Elaine, too > wow, i'd never heard of that before. I wouldn't eat it myself, but I guess if it makes money then the guy's got a solid business plan. Does it look raw? -- ..:Heather:. www.velvet-c.com Step off, beyotches, I'm the roflpimp! |
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sarah bennett wrote:
> jake wrote: >> >>> >>>> No, guests should not order the most expensive menu item, >>> >>> >>> >>> And here, you admit there is some line somewhere. >>> >>> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the >>> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time >>> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently >>> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. >>> >>> nancy >>> >> I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather >> than 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have >> found it difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from >> me. Instead, I have resorted to asking people to come and eat at my home >> (I love to cook and no one needs to spend big money). Or choosing other >> activities than going eat to bars/restaurants. It works well enough for >> the situation to be acceptable. > > am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no one > is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for it. > There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys do it > that way? > I'll do the 'divide the bill evenly' thing if we've ordered similar amounts and it would just be the difference of a dollar or 2. What is more often the case is we go out and I am expecting to pay and I order something expensive or an extra side or something, then I am insistent we do not split it evenly as that would burden people with more of my portion. -- ..:Heather:. www.velvet-c.com Step off, beyotches, I'm the roflpimp! |
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P.Aitken wrote:
> > > sarah bennett wrote: >> >> am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no >> one is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for >> it. There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys >> do it that way? >> > > Seriously, though, people do it because at the end of a group meal > people tend to forget who had how many drinks, how much each course > cost, and so on. It's a lot easier to split it evenly than to go to the > hassle of getting the menu to check prices and so on. Some people pay > more, some less, but in theory it averages out over time. In theory. > > Peter > Yep. That's another theory that doesn't hold water. The people who eat most and pay least, being subsidized by their friends, do it all the time. IME. And the friends always seem surprised (and not happy) that they've been taken advantage of once again. And the perpetrators have learned to look down their noses and insinuate "cheap" if anyone suggests paying the bill that way is unfair. And someohow these people keep being invited out. And so it goes.... gloria p |
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Puester wrote:
> P.Aitken wrote: > >> >> >> sarah bennett wrote: >> >>> >>> am I the only one who has no problem dividing a bill properly? If no >>> one is treating me to a dinner, I order whatever I want, and pay for >>> it. There is no way that I would split a bill evenly. Why do you guys >>> do it that way? >>> > > >> >> Seriously, though, people do it because at the end of a group meal >> people tend to forget who had how many drinks, how much each course >> cost, and so on. It's a lot easier to split it evenly than to go to >> the hassle of getting the menu to check prices and so on. Some people >> pay more, some less, but in theory it averages out over time. In theory. >> >> Peter >> > > > > Yep. That's another theory that doesn't hold water. > > The people who eat most and pay least, being subsidized by their > friends, do it all the time. IME. > > And the friends always seem surprised (and not happy) that they've been > taken advantage of once again. > > And the perpetrators have learned to look down their noses and insinuate > "cheap" if anyone suggests paying the bill that way is unfair. > > And someohow these people keep being invited out. > > And so it goes.... As I am someone who tends to splurge on the rare occasions I do eat out, my response to the claim that not splitting the bill evenly is "cheap" would be "you feel like paying for your share and part of mine too? groovy!" -- saerah http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/ "Peace is not an absence of war, it is a virtue, a state of mind, a disposition for benevolence, confidence, justice." -Baruch Spinoza "There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened." -Douglas Adams |
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On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:04:57 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet
> connected the dots and wrote: ~I'm wondering if it's possible to ever really separate food and sex. <G> Everything's either concave or convex So whatever you dream will be something with sex Peit Hein, "Grooks" |
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![]() Nancy Young wrote: > > "jake" > wrote > > >> People who don't pay attention to that wind up being the > >> ones bitched about who order expensive meals all the time > >> then just split the bill with the others at the table, apparently > >> unaware everyone is chipping in for their meal. > >> nancy > > > I have subsidised many nights out because I"ll eat one course rather than > > 2 or 3 and because I don't drink alcohol most of the time. I have found it > > difficult to express I thought it was too much to expect from me. > > I understand that, and it's been a matter of discussion here many > times. People should be aware when someone is ordering a lot > less or that they are spending a lot more and should chip in > accordingly. Somehow there are people oblivious to this. They are *choosing* to be oblivious. Got stuck more than once paying for a lot of alcohol I didn't drink, expensive main courses etc etc. Never again. Now I roughly calculate my share of the bill plus gratuity and put that into the payment pile. No one has ever said anything and I'm still invited out for group meals LOL. <snip> |
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![]() maxine in ri wrote: > On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:04:57 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet > > connected the dots and wrote: > > ~I'm wondering if it's possible to ever really separate food and sex. > <G> > > Everything's either concave or convex > So whatever you dream will be something with sex > > Peit Hein, "Grooks" LOL! Ain't it the truth! Peter |
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From several recipes the method I follow is (probably already posted) to
fill a pot with eggs and fill with water to cover eggs. When the water boils, remove from stove and cover pot and let sit 12 minutes, then cool and use when needed. I usually cook four eggs at a time. Don't exactly know why. ![]() Andy |
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Andy <q> wrote in :
> From several recipes the method I follow is (probably already posted) to > fill a pot with eggs and fill with water to cover eggs. When the water > boils, remove from stove and cover pot and let sit 12 minutes, then cool > and use when needed. > > I usually cook four eggs at a time. Don't exactly know why. ![]() > > Andy Out of practice. |
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In article >,
"P.Aitken" > wrote: > maxine in ri wrote: > > > On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:04:57 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet > > > connected the dots and wrote: > > > > ~I'm wondering if it's possible to ever really separate food and sex. > > <G> > > > > Everything's either concave or convex > > So whatever you dream will be something with sex > > > > Peit Hein, "Grooks" > > LOL! Ain't it the truth! > > Peter > One game my friends and I like to play at chinese places is reading the fortune cookies..... Read your fortune and add the words "in bed" to the end of it. ;-D It gets to be pretty funny sometimes! Ah me, it's a blast to have a "girls day out" sometimes! -- Om. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson |
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Nancy Young wrote:
> I've taken many people out to eat, and I've been taken out to > eat by people many times. I've seen it all. One person, I know > she was kinda tight for money, we were having lunch, I said, > I got a raise, lunch is on me, she said, Oh, good, in that case > I'll have an appetizer! That would have been the perfect time to rescind the offer. |
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OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote:
> In article >, > "P.Aitken" > wrote: > >> maxine in ri wrote: >> >> > On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:04:57 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet >> > > connected the dots and wrote: >> > >> > ~I'm wondering if it's possible to ever really separate food and sex. >> > <G> >> > >> > Everything's either concave or convex >> > So whatever you dream will be something with sex >> > >> > Peit Hein, "Grooks" >> >> LOL! Ain't it the truth! >> >> Peter >> > > One game my friends and I like to play at chinese places is reading the > fortune cookies..... > > Read your fortune and add the words "in bed" to the end of it. > > ;-D > > It gets to be pretty funny sometimes! > > Ah me, it's a blast to have a "girls day out" sometimes! I played that game until I got "Horizons widen only through discomfort" -- ..:Heather:. www.velvet-c.com Step off, beyotches, I'm the roflpimp! |
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In article >,
The Bubbo > wrote: > OmManiPadmeOmelet wrote: > > In article >, > > "P.Aitken" > wrote: > > > >> maxine in ri wrote: > >> > >> > On Mon, 16 Jan 2006 11:04:57 -0600, OmManiPadmeOmelet > >> > > connected the dots and wrote: > >> > > >> > ~I'm wondering if it's possible to ever really separate food and sex. > >> > <G> > >> > > >> > Everything's either concave or convex > >> > So whatever you dream will be something with sex > >> > > >> > Peit Hein, "Grooks" > >> > >> LOL! Ain't it the truth! > >> > >> Peter > >> > > > > One game my friends and I like to play at chinese places is reading the > > fortune cookies..... > > > > Read your fortune and add the words "in bed" to the end of it. > > > > ;-D > > > > It gets to be pretty funny sometimes! > > > > Ah me, it's a blast to have a "girls day out" sometimes! > > I played that game until I got "Horizons widen only through discomfort" Ouch........ ;-) -- Om. "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch." -Jack Nicholson |
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"P.Aitken" wrote:
> Seriously, though, people do it because at the end of a group meal > people tend to forget who had how many drinks, how much each course > cost, and so on. And it's no coincidence that it always seems to be those who had the most who conveniently forget. > It's a lot easier to split it evenly than to go to the > hassle of getting the menu to check prices and so on. Some people pay > more, some less, but in theory it averages out over time. In theory. In theory? Go out to lunch with my brothers. I am no teetotaller, but there is no way I could keep up with their beer consumption. If we always split the bill I will always be paying way more than my share and one of them is getting a lot of free beer. |
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"aem" > writes:
>You say she bragged about this? What admirable quality did she think >she was displaying by this abdication of responsibility for her >children? I mean, what did she think she had to brag about? -aem I'm not entirely sure. She was apparently proud that she didn't have to cook, but I never knew *why*. She had a lot of stories about all the chores being done by her daughters, and various times she refused to help her husband with standard spouse things. I think she was very spoiled. Her house was immaculate, apparently because she demanded her girls (teens with jobs outside of the home) keep up with her clean-freakiness. We pretty much stopped talking when she became unapproachable for a week when her husband got vacation time and she didn't. She sulked like a spoiled 2 year old, lashing out and calling people names for no reason because she didn't get her way. Stacia |
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On Tue 17 Jan 2006 07:52:15p, Thus Spake Zarathustra, or was it Andy?
> Andy <q> wrote in : > >> From several recipes the method I follow is (probably already posted) >> to fill a pot with eggs and fill with water to cover eggs. When the >> water boils, remove from stove and cover pot and let sit 12 minutes, >> then cool and use when needed. >> >> I usually cook four eggs at a time. Don't exactly know why. ![]() >> >> Andy > Out of practice. Er...habit? -- Wayne Boatwright Õ¿Õ¬ ________________________________________ Okay, okay, I take it back! UnScrew you! |
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"P.Aitken" > writes:
>I think it is weird to take people to dinner, offering to pay, at a >restaurant where a lot of the menu items are too expensive and you >expect your guests to somehow know they should order only the less >expensive items. No, guests should not order the most expensive menu >item, but they should be free to order items that are typical for the >place. If the host has a limited budget he should choose the restaurant >accordingly. Honestly, I would be surprised if I took children to a restaurant and they ordered pricey items off the adult menu, but I agree you have to plan for that kind of thing to happen. Not ordering the most expensive items just to get a free meal seems like a no-brainer. That said, sometimes hosts have limits on what they want to pay or buy and the guest has no idea of those limits. I think I mentioned before that in-laws once got mad at me for ordering a cheap, low-alcohol beverage at a bar & grill, but a non-relative at the same gathering ordered $40 of food for himself and no one said a thing. How could I have known what their little rules were? Hosts who do this kind of thing are just asking for trouble. Stacia |
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