In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
a serious family issue. my facebook friends know if they've read it, but
my sister with cancer is in ICU due to a fall down her stairs and a
ruptured spleen. she was rushed into surgery to remove her spleen but
with a couple of fractured ribs to go with it, plus COPD, and now we
find out the cancer tumors are extensive in her lungs, she's been on and
off a breathing tube and being treated for pneumonia. they were keeping
her in a medically induced coma the first few days. first time it came
out, she pulled it out herself even though they put those mittens on
her, in her drugged state she just decided she didn't want it. so it's
dangerous to keep pulling out and replacing a breathing tube so it was
put back in earlier this week when she was unable to breathe on her own.
collapsed lung, other lung full of fluid. for some reason they removed
it again but tonight they're putting it back in.

Her home is a disaster because with the chemo she's been too tired to
clean and the kids are pretty useless. they are with friends in her
area and being taught strictly how to clean up after themselves. the
home is full of roaches that are being treated with baits but spraying
will happen next week so i have to do something with her cats. probably
a kennel for a few days because i have 5 cats and there is no way i can
deal with 7. i will pay for the kennel. family and friends are all
stepping up to help us through this and they are amazing and a gift from
God even though i don't really have that much faith in religion.

anyway, she might not make it. we're working on getting a medical
directive and power of attorney to handle her affairs. my brother and
his wife are working on guardianship of the kids but it turns out you
can't do that until it is needed, not on a "what if" situation.

so if you believe in something higher than we are that has the ability
to keep her here for a little longer, we'd appreciate the prayers. her
oncologist said even without this set back, she really only had 1-1 1/2
years to live with the extent of the cancer in her lungs and that it is
starting to spread to her liver. It started as colorectal cancer and
she had surgery to remove a lot of her plumbing, but it spread anyway
for reasons that i'm not getting into but anyone who's been through
chemo knows how hard it is on your body and she refused the 6 months
more chemo after surgery and this is probably why it spread.

i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.

With love,
--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 2014-11-05 21:43, Cheryl wrote:

> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
> With love,


Wow Cheryl, that is a ton of bad news. I wish you strength for the
stuff you are going to be going through. It is especially sad that she
had young kids to deal with.

We were at a funeral a week and a half ago for our neighbour's daughter
who went through the same thing. It started off as colorectal cancer.
She used to be our paper girl when we first moved in here and later on
was our babysitter. She was a smart, ambitious and very attractive woman
and had two girls, aged 10 and 12. Her parents pretty well moved into
her house just a couple miles away to look after her. Arrangements had
already been made for guardianship and the kids had been living with
their new family most of that time.

On 11/5/2014 9:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:

> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.

Oh my goodness, I saw on facebook that something bad was happening
but not exactly what. All my best wishes are beaming your way.
Try to take care of yourself, too, in all this chaos.

nancy

On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
wrote:

>In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
>a serious family issue.

snippage

I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

koko

--

Food is our common ground, a universal experience
James Beard

On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
wrote:
snip
>
>i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
>this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
>With love,
My thoughts are with you, hoping that you are able to find extra
strength to help you through this.
Janet US

On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
wrote:

> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.

Nobody should go through this - not you, not your sister, not her
kids. Do the best you can for her and make sure to take care of
yourself too. We know this is not going to end well, so hopefully all
the subsequent legalities will proceed as smoothly as possible.
<hugs>


--
Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them.

On Wednesday, November 5, 2014 8:43:54 PM UTC-6, Cheryl wrote:

> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
> a serious family issue.
>
> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
> With love,
> --
> ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
> Cheryl
>
>
I am soooo sorry to read this. Warm thoughts and prayers for all concerned..

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with

<read but snipped>

Very sorry to hear this. I don't do religion but I will keep pleasant
thoughts for the family.

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with a
> serious family issue. my facebook friends know if they've read it, but my
> sister with cancer is in ICU due to a fall down her stairs and a ruptured
> spleen. she was rushed into surgery to remove her spleen but with a
> couple of fractured ribs to go with it, plus COPD, and now we find out the
> cancer tumors are extensive in her lungs, she's been on and off a
> breathing tube and being treated for pneumonia. they were keeping her in a
> medically induced coma the first few days. first time it came out, she
> pulled it out herself even though they put those mittens on her, in her
> drugged state she just decided she didn't want it. so it's dangerous to
> keep pulling out and replacing a breathing tube so it was put back in
> earlier this week when she was unable to breathe on her own. collapsed
> lung, other lung full of fluid. for some reason they removed it again but
> tonight they're putting it back in.
>
> Her home is a disaster because with the chemo she's been too tired to
> clean and the kids are pretty useless. they are with friends in her area
> and being taught strictly how to clean up after themselves. the home is
> full of roaches that are being treated with baits but spraying will happen
> next week so i have to do something with her cats. probably a kennel for a
> few days because i have 5 cats and there is no way i can deal with 7. i
> will pay for the kennel. family and friends are all stepping up to help us
> through this and they are amazing and a gift from God even though i don't
> really have that much faith in religion.
>
> anyway, she might not make it. we're working on getting a medical
> directive and power of attorney to handle her affairs. my brother and his
> wife are working on guardianship of the kids but it turns out you can't do
> that until it is needed, not on a "what if" situation.
>
> so if you believe in something higher than we are that has the ability to
> keep her here for a little longer, we'd appreciate the prayers. her
> oncologist said even without this set back, she really only had 1-1 1/2
> years to live with the extent of the cancer in her lungs and that it is
> starting to spread to her liver. It started as colorectal cancer and she
> had surgery to remove a lot of her plumbing, but it spread anyway for
> reasons that i'm not getting into but anyone who's been through chemo
> knows how hard it is on your body and she refused the 6 months more chemo
> after surgery and this is probably why it spread.
>
> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to this
> thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.

Cheryl I am so sorry to hear of these awful problems(

You are in my thoughts and my very best wishes are on their way.

*Huge Hugs*

O
--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
wrote:

>In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
>a serious family issue. my facebook friends know if they've read it, but
>my sister with cancer is in ICU due to a fall down her stairs and a
>ruptured spleen. she was rushed into surgery to remove her spleen but
>with a couple of fractured ribs to go with it, plus COPD, and now we
>find out the cancer tumors are extensive in her lungs, she's been on and
>off a breathing tube and being treated for pneumonia. they were keeping
>her in a medically induced coma the first few days. first time it came
>out, she pulled it out herself even though they put those mittens on
>her, in her drugged state she just decided she didn't want it. so it's
>dangerous to keep pulling out and replacing a breathing tube so it was
>put back in earlier this week when she was unable to breathe on her own.
>collapsed lung, other lung full of fluid. for some reason they removed
>it again but tonight they're putting it back in.
>
>Her home is a disaster because with the chemo she's been too tired to
>clean and the kids are pretty useless. they are with friends in her
>area and being taught strictly how to clean up after themselves. the
>home is full of roaches that are being treated with baits but spraying
>will happen next week so i have to do something with her cats. probably
>a kennel for a few days because i have 5 cats and there is no way i can
>deal with 7. i will pay for the kennel. family and friends are all
>stepping up to help us through this and they are amazing and a gift from
>God even though i don't really have that much faith in religion.
>
>anyway, she might not make it. we're working on getting a medical
>directive and power of attorney to handle her affairs. my brother and
>his wife are working on guardianship of the kids but it turns out you
>can't do that until it is needed, not on a "what if" situation.
>
>so if you believe in something higher than we are that has the ability
>to keep her here for a little longer, we'd appreciate the prayers. her
>oncologist said even without this set back, she really only had 1-1 1/2
>years to live with the extent of the cancer in her lungs and that it is
>starting to spread to her liver. It started as colorectal cancer and
>she had surgery to remove a lot of her plumbing, but it spread anyway
>for reasons that i'm not getting into but anyone who's been through
>chemo knows how hard it is on your body and she refused the 6 months
>more chemo after surgery and this is probably why it spread.
>
>i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
>this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
>With love,

As Riley once said "What a revoltin' devevelopment." Unfortunately it
sounds like there isn't a whole lot you can do personally, except to
take care of yourself. All I can offer is the same as everyone else,
I hope this turns out for the best.

On 11/5/2014 9:24 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 11/5/2014 9:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>
>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
>> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
> Oh my goodness, I saw on facebook that something bad was happening
> but not exactly what. All my best wishes are beaming your way.
> Try to take care of yourself, too, in all this chaos.
>
> nancy

My thoughts and prayers will be with you, Janet and your family. You are
a good sister, I do not know what she would do without your help, right
now. Hang in there, lady, and gather up as much help as you can find.

Becca

On 11/5/2014 10:24 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 11/5/2014 9:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>
>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply
>> to this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if
>> you can.
>
> Oh my goodness, I saw on facebook that something bad was happening
> but not exactly what. All my best wishes are beaming your way. Try
> to take care of yourself, too, in all this chaos.
>
> nancy
>

Thanks Nancy. I don't want to put too much on Facebook but just enough
for her friends (whom I don't know because we don't live very close
together) to know what's going on. I don't have phone numbers. Then when
I see that many have seen and can spread the word, I delete the post.
I've done that a few times now. Her kids aren't on FB but some of the
kids of her friends might be and might be able to read it though I don't
think they can unless my sister has friended their kids, which I don't
think she has.

It's still a very serious situation with her, and I spent a lot of time
yesterday with one of her friends throwing out all food in the pantry
and cabinets. Some weren't stored properly and I could see roaches
coming out of the boxes as i was throwing them in the trash. the whole
thing was just ick to me. I wore shoe covers and gloves. She has some
very nice glass storage containers so I took them home, still in the
back of my truck right now, and I'm going to empty them outside and
immediately run them through the dishwasher on the hottest setting I
have, with heated dry. We even threw out canned food because the
exterminator said these roaches (some German variety that are small) can
get under labels and feed on the glue. It felt bad to throw away so much
food, but it had to be done. It was hard work but after a night's sleep
I feel better than I expected to a month after my last back surgery.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/5/2014 11:07 PM, koko wrote:
> On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
> wrote:
>
>> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
>> a serious family issue.
>
> snippage
>
> I'm keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
>
Thank you koko. It means a lot.


--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/5/2014 11:17 PM, Janet Bostwick wrote:
> On Wed, 05 Nov 2014 21:43:46 -0500, Cheryl >
> wrote:
> snip
>>
>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
>> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>>
>> With love,
> My thoughts are with you, hoping that you are able to find extra
> strength to help you through this.
> Janet US
>
Thank you Janet. I wrote a whole lot more to Nancy about what's been
going on so I don't want to repeat it. You understand. I'm finding
strength from somewhere and I even think all of the activity is
strengthening my back, which is a plus.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/6/2014 12:31 AM, wrote:
> On Wednesday, November 5, 2014 8:43:54 PM UTC-6, Cheryl wrote:
>
>> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
>> a serious family issue.
>>
>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
>> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>>
>> With love,
>> --
>> ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
>> Cheryl
>>
>>
> I am soooo sorry to read this. Warm thoughts and prayers for all concerned.
>

Thank you Joan.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/6/2014 2:03 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>
> "Cheryl" > wrote in message
> eb.com...
>> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
>
> <read but snipped>
>
> Very sorry to hear this. I don't do religion but I will keep pleasant
> thoughts for the family.

Thanks Julie.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/6/2014 7:03 AM, Ophelia wrote:
> Cheryl I am so sorry to hear of these awful problems(
>
> You are in my thoughts and my very best wishes are on their way.
>
> *Huge Hugs*

Thanks So much O. It means a lot.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/6/2014 8:42 AM, wrote:

> [[[[[[[[[[[hugs]]]]]]]]]] to you, it will all work out, try not to be
> frantic.

I think the frantic is starting to change to hope and maybe even some
prayer since some people swear it works. I'll give it a shot. Thanks for
reading. Nothing has chnaged in her health yet but I'll see her
tomorrow night to know more. The hospital is just so darned far.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/6/2014 1:41 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:

> As Riley once said "What a revoltin' devevelopment." Unfortunately it
> sounds like there isn't a whole lot you can do personally, except to
> take care of yourself. All I can offer is the same as everyone else,
> I hope this turns out for the best.

Thanks Sheldon.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> On 11/5/2014 10:24 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> On 11/5/2014 9:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>>
>>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply
>>> to this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if
>>> you can.
>>
>> Oh my goodness, I saw on facebook that something bad was happening
>> but not exactly what. All my best wishes are beaming your way. Try
>> to take care of yourself, too, in all this chaos.
>>
>> nancy
>>
>
> Thanks Nancy. I don't want to put too much on Facebook but just enough
> for her friends (whom I don't know because we don't live very close
> together) to know what's going on. I don't have phone numbers. Then when
> I see that many have seen and can spread the word, I delete the post.
> I've done that a few times now. Her kids aren't on FB but some of the
> kids of her friends might be and might be able to read it though I don't
> think they can unless my sister has friended their kids, which I don't
> think she has.
>
> It's still a very serious situation with her, and I spent a lot of time
> yesterday with one of her friends throwing out all food in the pantry
> and cabinets. Some weren't stored properly and I could see roaches
> coming out of the boxes as i was throwing them in the trash. the whole
> thing was just ick to me. I wore shoe covers and gloves. She has some
> very nice glass storage containers so I took them home, still in the
> back of my truck right now, and I'm going to empty them outside and
> immediately run them through the dishwasher on the hottest setting I
> have, with heated dry. We even threw out canned food because the
> exterminator said these roaches (some German variety that are small) can
> get under labels and feed on the glue. It felt bad to throw away so much
> food, but it had to be done. It was hard work but after a night's sleep
> I feel better than I expected to a month after my last back surgery.

She is lucky to have you!
--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On Wednesday, November 5, 2014 6:43:54 PM UTC-8, Cheryl wrote:
> In the off chance anyone has wondered where i've been, i'm dealing with
> a serious family issue. my facebook friends know if they've read it, but
> my sister with cancer is in ICU due to a fall down her stairs and a
> ruptured spleen. she was rushed into surgery to remove her spleen but
> with a couple of fractured ribs to go with it, plus COPD, and now we
> find out the cancer tumors are extensive in her lungs, she's been on and
> off a breathing tube and being treated for pneumonia. they were keeping
> her in a medically induced coma the first few days. first time it came
> out, she pulled it out herself even though they put those mittens on
> her, in her drugged state she just decided she didn't want it. so it's
> dangerous to keep pulling out and replacing a breathing tube so it was
> put back in earlier this week when she was unable to breathe on her own.
> collapsed lung, other lung full of fluid. for some reason they removed
> it again but tonight they're putting it back in.
>
> Her home is a disaster because with the chemo she's been too tired to
> clean and the kids are pretty useless. they are with friends in her
> area and being taught strictly how to clean up after themselves. the
> home is full of roaches that are being treated with baits but spraying
> will happen next week so i have to do something with her cats. probably
> a kennel for a few days because i have 5 cats and there is no way i can
> deal with 7. i will pay for the kennel. family and friends are all
> stepping up to help us through this and they are amazing and a gift from
> God even though i don't really have that much faith in religion.
>
> anyway, she might not make it. we're working on getting a medical
> directive and power of attorney to handle her affairs. my brother and
> his wife are working on guardianship of the kids but it turns out you
> can't do that until it is needed, not on a "what if" situation.
>
> so if you believe in something higher than we are that has the ability
> to keep her here for a little longer, we'd appreciate the prayers. her
> oncologist said even without this set back, she really only had 1-1 1/2
> years to live with the extent of the cancer in her lungs and that it is
> starting to spread to her liver. It started as colorectal cancer and
> she had surgery to remove a lot of her plumbing, but it spread anyway
> for reasons that i'm not getting into but anyone who's been through
> chemo knows how hard it is on your body and she refused the 6 months
> more chemo after surgery and this is probably why it spread.
>
> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply to
> this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if you can.
>
> With love,
> --
> ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
> Cheryl

OH, Cheryl, I'm so sorry for you and your sister and the family. Know that all of us here are pulling for you and her. I know you will find the strength to give comfort and love.

On 11/9/2014 7:59 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/5/2014 10:24 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>> On 11/5/2014 9:43 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>>
>>> i'm just so upset and scared. i probably won't have time to reply
>>> to this thread anytime soon but please keep us in your thoughts if
>>> you can.
>>
>> Oh my goodness, I saw on facebook that something bad was happening
>> but not exactly what. All my best wishes are beaming your way. Try
>> to take care of yourself, too, in all this chaos.

> Thanks Nancy. I don't want to put too much on Facebook but just enough
> for her friends (whom I don't know because we don't live very close
> together) to know what's going on. I don't have phone numbers. Then when
> I see that many have seen and can spread the word, I delete the post.

I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.

> I've done that a few times now. Her kids aren't on FB but some of the
> kids of her friends might be and might be able to read it though I don't
> think they can unless my sister has friended their kids, which I don't
> think she has.

FB does have its uses, for sure.

> It's still a very serious situation with her, and I spent a lot of time
> yesterday with one of her friends throwing out all food in the pantry
> and cabinets. Some weren't stored properly and I could see roaches
> coming out of the boxes as i was throwing them in the trash. the whole
> thing was just ick to me.

Yikes, I'd be jumping out of my skin.

> I wore shoe covers and gloves. She has some
> very nice glass storage containers so I took them home, still in the
> back of my truck right now, and I'm going to empty them outside and
> immediately run them through the dishwasher on the hottest setting I
> have, with heated dry. We even threw out canned food because the
> exterminator said these roaches (some German variety that are small) can
> get under labels and feed on the glue. It felt bad to throw away so much
> food, but it had to be done.

What are you going to do. You can't risk a reinfestation over a
70 cent can of beans. Thank goodness she has you to help her out
at this time.

> It was hard work but after a night's sleep
> I feel better than I expected to a month after my last back surgery.

That's great news, at least. Best of luck, Cheryl.

nancy

On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>
> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.

This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

On 11/11/2014 6:00, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.
>
> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
> with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
> were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
> would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
> keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
> at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
> tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
> can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
> breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
> decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
> we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
> know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
> with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
> activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
> doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
> children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
> tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
> dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
> one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
> be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
> i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
> around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
> room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.
>
Dear Cheryl, you don't know me I think, but I 've been reading here (and
on Facebook) for so long, I 'm 'unlurking' as my heart goes out to you,
your sister and her family. I lit a candle for you and I hope my
soothing wishes for warmth and comfort reach you all across the ocean in
these hard times. ((((Cheryl)))

On 11/11/2014 12:00 AM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.
>
> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
> with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
> were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
> would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
> keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
> at this point.

I'm so sorry. What a shame.

> it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
> tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
> can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
> breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
> decision to let her go.

I know what decision I'd like made if it was me struggling, so
I hope you don't second guess your decision. I've never had to
decide that for a family member, thank goodness.

> they will remove the tube over the weekend and
> we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
> know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
> with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
> activity even if we think they don't know, they do know.

That's what they say, kids are very perceptive.

> so we aren't
> doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
> children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re going to tell them
> tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
> dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
> one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
> be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
> i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
> around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
> room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> so hard for them to change schools.

I'm glad there's somewhere for them to go.

> i can't stand this anymore.

You've been under a lot of pressure. I'm very sorry about your
sister. Another friend of mine just lost her sister recently, too.
It's hard. (hugs) I'll be thinking of you.

nancy

On 2014-11-11 12:00 AM, Cheryl wrote:
>
> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
> with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
> were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
> would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
> keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
> at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
> tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
> can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
> breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
> decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
> we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
> know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
> with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
> activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
> doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
> children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
> tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
> dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
> one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
> be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
> i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
> around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
> room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.
>


I remember what it was like to come to with a tube down my throat. Not
at all pleasant. I can't imagine being in a state where I needed that in
order to stay alive in a condition I would not want to be. I have also
been in the position of sitting by the bedside of loved ones in the
final stages of their lives and I don't wish it on anyone.

No one wants to be told what to do or how to feel. I can tell you that
my wish at the time was for them to slip away, the sooner the better. I
hated to see them suffer. I hated to see the pain and suffering on
everyone else as they waited for the inevitable. I hated all the false
hopes that everyone was expected to have, as if hope and prayer was
going to lead to a miracle and the person was going to suddenly.

The best I thought I could do for my parents was to be there for them,
and I was alone with both of them when they passed. I held my father's
hand as his life slipped away, and my mother passed away so quietly I
didn't even realize she had died. I wish you the strength to deal with
your loss.

On Tue, 11 Nov 2014 00:00:48 -0500, Cheryl >
wrote:

>On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.
>
>This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
>with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying.
snip
Oh, my dear. I am so sorry. Hugs and spiritual strength for you and
your family. You know we are always here if you need to share.
Janet US

Sorry to hear what a tough time you are all going thru. I hope you and your family can find strength to overcome all this sadness.

Cheryl wrote:
>
>This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
>with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
>were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
>would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
>keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
>at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
>tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
>can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
>breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
>decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
>we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
>know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
>with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
>activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
>doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
>children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
>tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
>dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
>one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
>be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
>i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
>around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
>room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
>so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.

I'm so sorry. Always sad dealing with the passing of a loved one...
stay strong and move on... that's what she would want. There's not
much else to be done... perhaps plant a nice tree in your sister's
memory... as some abstract way for her to live on.

On 11/10/2014 11:00 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.
>
> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
> with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
> were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
> would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
> keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
> at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
> tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
> can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
> breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
> decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
> we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
> know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
> with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
> activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
> doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
> children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
> tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
> dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
> one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
> be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
> i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
> around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
> room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.

Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about your sister. I hope
you and your family can find the strength to get through the next
several days. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

Becca

Becca EmaNymton wrote in rec.food.cooking:

> On 11/10/2014 11:00 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> > On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> > >
> > > I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
> > > as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to
> > > read.
> >
> > This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we
> > met with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is
> > dying. we were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you
> > spell it which would only prolong the inevitable or have them
> > remove the breathing tube keeping her alive and let her go
> > peacefully. the cancer can't be treated at this point. it is so
> > extensive in her lungs and without a breathing tube one lung
> > collapses and the other fills with secretions that she can't expel.
> > it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a breathing
> > tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible decision
> > to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and we
> > will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they
> > don't know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out
> > hope. i spoke with her daughter's counselor today and she said
> > with all of the activity even if we think they don't know, they do
> > know. so we aren't doing them any favors by keeping this from
> > them. so along with the children's pastor where they've been
> > staying, we;re gonig to tell them tomorrow night. they even have
> > the choice of being with her when she dies. once the breathing tube
> > is removed it could be hours, or days, no one knows. they can tell
> > from her vital signs when to call us to come be with her when she
> > goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so i hope we can
> > make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts around the
> > clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private room.
> > The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> > so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.
>
> Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about your sister. I hope
> you and your family can find the strength to get through the next
> several days. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
>
> Becca

Same here. Sometimes life is real and upfront in your face and it's
hard.

--

On 11/12/2014 5:49 PM, cshenk wrote:
> Becca EmaNymton wrote in rec.food.cooking:
>
>> On 11/10/2014 11:00 PM, Cheryl wrote:
>>> On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>>>
>>>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>>>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to
>>>> read.
>>>
>>> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we
>>> met with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is
>>> dying. we were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you
>>> spell it which would only prolong the inevitable or have them
>>> remove the breathing tube keeping her alive and let her go
>>> peacefully. the cancer can't be treated at this point. it is so
>>> extensive in her lungs and without a breathing tube one lung
>>> collapses and the other fills with secretions that she can't expel.
>>> it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a breathing
>>> tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible decision
>>> to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and we
>>> will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they
>>> don't know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out
>>> hope. i spoke with her daughter's counselor today and she said
>>> with all of the activity even if we think they don't know, they do
>>> know. so we aren't doing them any favors by keeping this from
>>> them. so along with the children's pastor where they've been
>>> staying, we;re gonig to tell them tomorrow night. they even have
>>> the choice of being with her when she dies. once the breathing tube
>>> is removed it could be hours, or days, no one knows. they can tell
>>> from her vital signs when to call us to come be with her when she
>>> goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so i hope we can
>>> make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts around the
>>> clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private room.
>>> The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
>>> so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.
>>
>> Cheryl, I am so sorry to hear this sad news about your sister. I hope
>> you and your family can find the strength to get through the next
>> several days. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts.
>>
>> Becca
>
> Same here. Sometimes life is real and upfront in your face and it's
> hard.


Carol, I can not imagine what she is feeling right now, having to cope
with losing her sister, plus her sister has a home, children and pets
that someone is having to care for. I wish I lived closer, there is not
much I can do from here. I only have one sister and we are close, I do
not know what I would do without her. This is just heartbreaking. Like
you said, it is hard.

Becca

On 11/13/2014 5:33 PM, Becca EmaNymton wrote:
>
>
> Carol, I can not imagine what she is feeling right now, having to cope
> with losing her sister, plus her sister has a home, children and pets
> that someone is having to care for. I wish I lived closer, there is not
> much I can do from here. I only have one sister and we are close, I do
> not know what I would do without her. This is just heartbreaking. Like
> you said, it is hard.

My sister and I are very close. We had our squabbles as kids, but all
kids do. We've grown up to love each other very much.

The kids are doing better than expected even though they don't
understand some things.

My nephew asked the doctor why they have to remove the breathing tube if
it is keeping her alive. The first doctor he asked was an on duty ICU
doctor who had never treated her so didn't know how to answer.
Thankfully the doctor who was on duty the night she was admitted and has
cared for her many days/nights came on duty and explained in simple
terms why she can't be on a breathing tube indefinitely. My nephew
understood the answer.

My niece and I had some time together yesterday while we were getting
the cats boarded and she asked me some very hard questions, but she is
bipolar so for her to open up is amazing in itself. A friend of my
sister's sent me a text message while I was driving and I glanced at it
and saw it was appropriate for my niece to read it to me. She cried a
little but it also make her open up more to me. The woman taking care
of them right now in the same neighborhood where they live so they can
make it to school told me she was a different girl after I dropped her
off. Much more open and even trying to explain to her twin brother
questions he was asking. So we had a connection yesterday that meant a
lot to me to hear about today.

They are visiting their mom every day and know she's not here for long.
They are making every minute count. I fully believe in being totally
honest with kids of that age because they know more than you think they
know, and it gives them the opportunity to ask questions rather than
keep their sadness and fear inside. We;re working on setting up grief
counseling ahead of time, so that when it is needed, it will be all set
up. We;re goign to do our best to keep them involved in their church
and some of the weeknight church activities that they've been involved
in. School will change, but church and church activities will not.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
eb.com...
> On 11/13/2014 5:33 PM, Becca EmaNymton wrote:
>>
>>
>> Carol, I can not imagine what she is feeling right now, having to cope
>> with losing her sister, plus her sister has a home, children and pets
>> that someone is having to care for. I wish I lived closer, there is not
>> much I can do from here. I only have one sister and we are close, I do
>> not know what I would do without her. This is just heartbreaking. Like
>> you said, it is hard.
>
> My sister and I are very close. We had our squabbles as kids, but all kids
> do. We've grown up to love each other very much.
>
> The kids are doing better than expected even though they don't understand
> some things.
>
> My nephew asked the doctor why they have to remove the breathing tube if
> it is keeping her alive. The first doctor he asked was an on duty ICU
> doctor who had never treated her so didn't know how to answer. Thankfully
> the doctor who was on duty the night she was admitted and has cared for
> her many days/nights came on duty and explained in simple terms why she
> can't be on a breathing tube indefinitely. My nephew understood the
> answer.
>
> My niece and I had some time together yesterday while we were getting the
> cats boarded and she asked me some very hard questions, but she is bipolar
> so for her to open up is amazing in itself. A friend of my sister's sent
> me a text message while I was driving and I glanced at it and saw it was
> appropriate for my niece to read it to me. She cried a little but it also
> make her open up more to me. The woman taking care of them right now in
> the same neighborhood where they live so they can make it to school told
> me she was a different girl after I dropped her off. Much more open and
> even trying to explain to her twin brother questions he was asking. So we
> had a connection yesterday that meant a lot to me to hear about today.
>
> They are visiting their mom every day and know she's not here for long.
> They are making every minute count. I fully believe in being totally
> honest with kids of that age because they know more than you think they
> know, and it gives them the opportunity to ask questions rather than keep
> their sadness and fear inside. We;re working on setting up grief
> counseling ahead of time, so that when it is needed, it will be all set
> up. We;re goign to do our best to keep them involved in their church and
> some of the weeknight church activities that they've been involved in.
> School will change, but church and church activities will not.

I know I've said it before but I will say it again .... They are SO lucky to
have you!!!

*Big Hugs*

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On 11/11/2014 12:00 AM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/10/2014 1:12 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
>>
>> I respect that, I didn't search around to see what was going on
>> as I thought the discussion wasn't necessarily meant for me to read.
>
> This won't be on facebook and no one i know reads newsgroups but we met
> with the ICU doc and charge nurse tonight as a family. She is dying. we
> were given two choices. a traciostomy or however you spell it which
> would only prolong the inevitable or have them remove the breathing tube
> keeping her alive and let her go peacefully. the cancer can't be treated
> at this point. it is so extensive in her lungs and without a breathing
> tube one lung collapses and the other fills with secretions that she
> can't expel. it is horrible watching her try to breathe without a
> breathing tube, even under sedation. so we had to make the horrible
> decision to let her go. they will remove the tube over the weekend and
> we will all be there, and we have to tell her kids tomorrow. they don't
> know how bad it is because i guess we've been holding out hope. i spoke
> with her daughter's counselor today and she said with all of the
> activity even if we think they don't know, they do know. so we aren't
> doing them any favors by keeping this from them. so along with the
> children's pastor where they've been staying, we;re gonig to tell them
> tomorrow night. they even have the choice of being with her when she
> dies. once the breathing tube is removed it could be hours, or days, no
> one knows. they can tell from her vital signs when to call us to come
> be with her when she goes but it's a long drive especially in traffic so
> i hope we can make it in time. someone will stay with her in shifts
> around the clock once they move her to a more comfortable, more private
> room. The kids will be living with my brother and his wife. it will be
> so hard for them to change schools. i can't stand this anymroe.
>
Cheryl, I'm late reading this but I want you to know I'm so very sorry
to hear it. You and your family are in my thoughts.

Jill

On 11/14/2014 6:22 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>
> I know I've said it before but I will say it again .... They are SO
> lucky to have you!!!
>
> *Big Hugs*

It's only a matter of time now. She's off of the breathing tube now and
seemed alert and awake when we were there but only because they had to
take her off of the sedation medication to put her on high doses of
morphine. We had a room full of family and I think she knew we were all
there. One of her church fellowship friends came in to pray with her
and told her it was ok to let go, that everything was being taken care
of. It was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.

I found a no kill rescue group that will take the cats, even making an
exception to take the 15 year old. If he can't be adopted out, he can
live out his life there in their sanctuary where he won't be caged, it
is an area where cats can have free run within their facility and just
stay until their time comes to die, too. I'm so relieved to have gotten
that phone call because I posted on two different Yahoo groups that we
needed homes for her two cats.

I'm planning to go and work from her private room assuming one opens up
tonight and she can be moved from ICU.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

For heaven's sake don't put her in the hospice. They'll kill her
through dehydration and it'll be awful.

If she hadn't refused the chemo she'd probably be dead already. Best of luck.

On 11/17/2014 12:01 AM, Oregonian Haruspex wrote:

> For heaven's sake don't put her in the hospice. They'll kill her
> through dehydration and it'll be awful.
>
> If she hadn't refused the chemo she'd probably be dead already. Best of
> luck.
>
No hospice will be involved. They will be moving her to a more private
room out of ICU so that we can be with her around the clock. I plan on
taking my work computer and work from her room tomrrow. My SIL is
planning to spend most of tuesday there. They will continue fluids and
increase morphine as her need for oxygen increases because she will
start to have a hard time breathing with the cancer in her lungs. Our
hope is that she somehow pulls through, but if not, that she'll be kept
comfortable. Someone in the family will be there each day. At night
we'll be expecting a call and all go to be by her side if she is about
to pass on.

--
ღ.¸¸.œ«*¨`*œ¶
Cheryl

"Cheryl" > wrote in message
b.com...
> On 11/14/2014 6:22 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>> I know I've said it before but I will say it again .... They are SO
>> lucky to have you!!!
>>
>> *Big Hugs*
>
> It's only a matter of time now. She's off of the breathing tube now and
> seemed alert and awake when we were there but only because they had to
> take her off of the sedation medication to put her on high doses of
> morphine. We had a room full of family and I think she knew we were all
> there. One of her church fellowship friends came in to pray with her and
> told her it was ok to let go, that everything was being taken care of. It
> was heartbreaking and heartwarming all at the same time.
>
> I found a no kill rescue group that will take the cats, even making an
> exception to take the 15 year old. If he can't be adopted out, he can live
> out his life there in their sanctuary where he won't be caged, it is an
> area where cats can have free run within their facility and just stay
> until their time comes to die, too. I'm so relieved to have gotten that
> phone call because I posted on two different Yahoo groups that we needed
> homes for her two cats.
> I'm planning to go and work from her private room assuming one opens up
> tonight and she can be moved from ICU.

Be good to yourself, Cheryl. You need care too. xx

--
http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk/shop/

On 11/16/2014 11:09 PM, Cheryl wrote:
> On 11/17/2014 12:01 AM, Oregonian Haruspex wrote:
>
>> For heaven's sake don't put her in the hospice. They'll kill her
>> through dehydration and it'll be awful.
>>
>> If she hadn't refused the chemo she'd probably be dead already. Best of
>> luck.
>>
> No hospice will be involved. They will be moving her to a more private
> room out of ICU so that we can be with her around the clock. I plan on
> taking my work computer and work from her room tomrrow. My SIL is
> planning to spend most of tuesday there. They will continue fluids and
> increase morphine as her need for oxygen increases because she will
> start to have a hard time breathing with the cancer in her lungs. Our
> hope is that she somehow pulls through, but if not, that she'll be kept
> comfortable. Someone in the family will be there each day. At night
> we'll be expecting a call and all go to be by her side if she is about
> to pass on.
>

Following this for a while and it's really got me scared.

All I hope is that she has an easy journey with no suffering and that
the people who love her don't have to watch her suffer any longer.

--
From somewhere very deep in the heart of Texas