A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
could be seen as wrong in some way!

My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
own. I could be wrong, of course!

This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
whole topic? Opinions welcomed!

Jo

Henhouse wrote:

> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob?


Henhouse,

Not at all. Some people have no concept of good nutrition. It's that
simple.

Ignore their ignorance. Imho,

Andy

Henhouse wrote:
> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob?

By typical American standards, yes.

I feel quite insulted,

Don't. You are in good company. The way I see it, if people want to
feed themselves and their kids with that schlock, it's merely natural
selection at work...

-L.

"Henhouse" > wrote in message
...
> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
> to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
> make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
> doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
> could be seen as wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
> four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
> foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
> kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
> myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
> even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
> own. I could be wrong, of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
> perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
> whole topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo

I have a friend like that, too, and she's always inviting me to come over
for lunch. What does she have on hand on a regular basis? Frozen burritos,
Kraft mac 'n cheese, packaged ramen noodles, pizza rolls, frozen jalepeno
poppers, frozen breaded chicken tenders - stuff like that. That's what she
feeds her family. I politely decline, but then I feel compelled to offer
her something from *my* fridge, which she always accepts because she knows
what I prepare is made with fresh ingredients and it still tastes good!

I keep shaking my head at my friend because she complains about her weight
and her daughters' weight (her 15 year old daughter is over 300 pounds!, her
12 year old is about 170) and I just want to shake her! I keep trying to
tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family. Sad thing is,
all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
allowed to buy on government assistance.

kili

Henhouse wrote:

> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
> to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
> make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
> doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
> could be seen as wrong in some way!

No that doesn't make you a food snob. There's nothing wrong with
enjoying quality food ingredients and good food. I guess "processed" in
most cases mean the commercially pre-prepared meals, cakes, cookies, etc
in a broad sense? I don't buy those but if you consider flours, dried
pasta, sweeteners, cheeses, butter, yogurts and fish as being processed
which they are, then I do buy these products. I avoid fast food places
for the most part but can't claim to have never gone. Personally, aside
of discussions on this ng, I don't get into heated arguments over food.
I have my style and IMO it's no one else's business. If I were you, I
would take her comments in stride, shrug them off and carry on. They
really are a form of compliment rather than an insult

>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
> four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
> foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
> kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
> myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
> even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
> own. I could be wrong, of course!

Well your friend is wrong. It sound to me like she is trying to justify
her cooking style to you even though she doesn't need to and perhaps she
is feeling a little guilty that she does do things the way you do. We
raised kids and I'll tell you they didn't eat microwave meals or fast
food except on very rare occasions. They also didn't eat white sugar,
candy, hot dogs, or processed lunch meats. I have always had a couple
of fruit baskets out - kitchen, family room - and they were allowed to
help themselves without asking. I always had to still have cut up
vegetables in the crisper and again they could help themselves. If it
makes you a food snob by teaching your kids proper nutrition from day
one, then I'm guilty.
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
> perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
> whole topic? Opinions welcomed!

I used to get a lot of comments from inlaws regarding the fact I
wouldn't let the kids eat certain things. As if they would be
maladjusted because they didn't eat candy! Seesh! I got to the point
it would just go in one ear and out the other. On the flip side these
very same people give me high praises for my canning. My canning shelf
is in the kitchen and makes an impressive sight for anyone who hasn't
seen it. The comments are always positive. The wife of one of DH's
friends tried to goad me into an argument over canning insisting it was
a waste of time and you could buy it cheaper in the stores. My reply
was my homecanned food tasted better. She went on and on so finally I
handed her a jar of my salsa to take home and try. She ended up
apologizing Seriously it sounds like your friend is just trying to
wind you up which she has, in order to make herself feel better.
>
> Jo

-L. wrote:

> Henhouse wrote:
>
>>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>>Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
>>I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
>>free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
>>time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
>>miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob?
>
>
> By typical American standards, yes.
>
> I feel quite insulted,
>
> Don't. You are in good company. The way I see it, if people want to
> feed themselves and their kids with that schlock, it's merely natural
> selection at work...
>
> -L.
>
It seems to be working too! Childhood obesity is a grown concern, no
pun intended. I can remember seeing only one or two obese kids during
my grade school years and they were teased endlessly. Now there are one
or two obese kids per classroom. Obesity in general has increased. All
you have to do is take a walk in a mall to see this trend. Along with
obesity comes all the negative health effects.

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:31:40 +0000, Henhouse
> wrote:

>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?

And I bet she is grossly overweight. Every time I go to the store
and observe shoppers, the overweight people ALWAYS have their cart
filled with processed, prepared food.

Thin people have good food in their cart and most likely know how to
peel a potato and make a mashed potato.

To be honest though...I have started buying the "bagged" salad mix in
the store. It really is fresh and a thin the mix with fresh iceberg
lettuce to make it last longer.

kilikini wrote:

> "Henhouse" > wrote in message
> ...
>
>>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>>Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
>>I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
>>free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
>>time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
>>miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
>>to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
>>make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
>>doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
>>could be seen as wrong in some way!
>>
>>My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
>>four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
>>foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
>>kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
>>myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
>>even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
>>own. I could be wrong, of course!
>>
>>This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
>>who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
>>me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
>>toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>>
>>Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
>>accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
>>perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
>>whole topic? Opinions welcomed!
>>
>>Jo
>
>
> I have a friend like that, too, and she's always inviting me to come over
> for lunch. What does she have on hand on a regular basis? Frozen burritos,
> Kraft mac 'n cheese, packaged ramen noodles, pizza rolls, frozen jalepeno
> poppers, frozen breaded chicken tenders - stuff like that. That's what she
> feeds her family. I politely decline, but then I feel compelled to offer
> her something from *my* fridge, which she always accepts because she knows
> what I prepare is made with fresh ingredients and it still tastes good!
>
> I keep shaking my head at my friend because she complains about her weight
> and her daughters' weight (her 15 year old daughter is over 300 pounds!, her
> 12 year old is about 170) and I just want to shake her! I keep trying to
> tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
> gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
> kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family. Sad thing is,
> all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
> Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
> allowed to buy on government assistance.

This is just my observation but quite often people resort to the junk
food like you mentioned because they don't know how to cook and/or don't
have the necessary cooking equipment. Another problem is a lot of this
pre-prepared food tends to ultimately be more expensive that the
comparable made from scratch. So to me, it would make sense to offer
free classes to help them learn about nutritious and how to cook. OTOH,
you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped
>
> kili
>
>

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:31:40 +0000, Henhouse
> > wrote:
>
>> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>
> And I bet she is grossly overweight. Every time I go to the store
> and observe shoppers, the overweight people ALWAYS have their cart
> filled with processed, prepared food.
>
> Thin people have good food in their cart and most likely know how to
> peel a potato and make a mashed potato.
>
> To be honest though...I have started buying the "bagged" salad mix in
> the store. It really is fresh and a thin the mix with fresh iceberg
> lettuce to make it last longer.
>

You know what's funny - that isn't always true.

I cook - I love to cook. Almost every dinner I serve in this house is
cooked from scratch every night. I could stand to loose about 10
pounds. I have a friend that is as skinny as a rail. She cooks maybe
once a week - something like Tacos from a kit. Other nights she feeds
her kids mac n cheese or chicken nuggets etc. The only reason she is so
skinny is she doesn't eat often. Maybe one meal a day. We went out to
dinner with she and her husband, she had a dinner salad no dressing.
She doesn't eat dairy and no sugar. I wouldn't call her healthier than
me - nor would I call her kids healthier. I do buy some processed
food...not a whole lot but some (ego waffles, canned pizza sauce, a few
other things like that)

The funniest thing about the whole situation - I allow my kids one
"sweet treat" a day (unless they are being punished) Which means they
can have a cookie, some pudding, maybe a piece of chocolate or even
*gasp* a small glass of soda with dinner....She thinks that is horrible.
Because of course, grilled chicken - rice - steamed broccolis and a 6
oz glass of Sprite is worse for you than chicken nuggets...


Sorry - got off on my own rant there

Roberta (in VA)

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 07:49:38 -0500, Roberta >
wrote:

>You know what's funny - that isn't always true.

You know what's funny - there is an exception to every rule. <vbg>

"Henhouse" > wrote in message
...
>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries. I
>also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own free
>range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from time to
>time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food miles
>etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted, to tell
>you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just make the
>choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend doing it, plus
>access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this could be seen as
>wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got four
> kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for foods
> I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four kids etc.,
> just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find myself in that
> position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be even more concerned
> about the foods they were eating than I am about my own. I could be wrong,
> of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or perhaps
> you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the whole
> topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo

I have found thru experience there have usually been deep reasons for
friends disapproving of my life style. I've had many people who will - to
my face - say derisive things. I would have rather them said them behind my
back and just leave me alone with their opinions. If you have tender
feelings, then you will always be upset by people who disapprove of what you
think and do. Some people are born with tender feelings. If you are, be
happy with that and judge your friends accordingly.
Dee Dee

> The funniest thing about the whole situation - I allow my kids one "sweet
> treat" a day (unless they are being punished) Which means they can have a
> cookie, some pudding, maybe a piece of chocolate or even *gasp* a small
> glass of soda with dinner....She thinks that is horrible. Because of
> course, grilled chicken - rice - steamed broccolis and a 6 oz glass of
> Sprite is worse for you than chicken nuggets...
>
>
> Sorry - got off on my own rant there
>
> Roberta (in VA)

I love rants!
Dee Dee

Ward Abbott wrote:
> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 07:49:38 -0500, Roberta >
> wrote:
>
>> You know what's funny - that isn't always true.
>
> You know what's funny - there is an exception to every rule. <vbg>
>
>

Well yeah lol...I just needed to find somewhere to rant about it!

Roberta (in VA)

Michael "Dog3" Lonergan wrote:
> Ward Abbott > hitched up their panties and posted
> :
>
>> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 07:49:38 -0500, Roberta >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> You know what's funny - that isn't always true.
>> You know what's funny - there is an exception to every rule. <vbg>
>
> You know what's funnier - The rules always change. <G>
>

Right about the time I learn 'em

Roberta (in VA)

Dee Randall wrote:

> I have found thru experience there have usually been deep reasons for
> friends disapproving of my life style. I've had many people who will - to
> my face - say derisive things. I would have rather them said them behind my
> back and just leave me alone with their opinions. If you have tender
> feelings, then you will always be upset by people who disapprove of what you
> think and do. Some people are born with tender feelings. If you are, be
> happy with that and judge your friends accordingly.

I have a nephew who I really like despite his quirks. I am sure that he will do
well in life despite his lack of education because he is street smarts and
talented. He is estranged from his mother because she gets on his case all the
time. He keeps his address and telephone number secret. He was on vacation with
us last summer and during the course of a conversation said that he is very
sensitive and doesn't take criticism well. Within a few minutes he said
something I took offence to but then said he was just joking... pulling my
chain. I told him that I was sensitive too, and that he should consider that
when he thinks he should pull may chain.

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 13:15:20 GMT, "Michael \"Dog3\" Lonergan"
> wrote:

>You know what's funnier - The rules always change. <G>

....and a rule to every exception. Get your name on the deed and you
get to make the rules. ..no exceptions.

I wasn't going to respond to this thread because so many of you are so
judgemental about the poor, but I couldn't resist this particular post as
it was a prime example of one of the challenges the poor face in this
country.

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:31:01 GMT, Someone wrote:

>I keep trying to
>tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
>gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
>kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family.

She isn't killing her family, the indifference to fixing the problems that
create this situation of poverty is. It's more likely that it's easier to
tell you her kids won't eat good food than it is to explain the real
situation. The way you said this in the post makes me wonder just how
gently you're even saying this to her, and if it doesn't just come across
as something judgemental that embarrasses her and makes her feel like a
piece of crap failure, instead of actually encouraging her in some way so
she might actually succeed.

>Sad thing is,
>all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
>Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
>allowed to buy on government assistance.

It is *so* easy to judge people in this situation. Why don't you take some
time to find out how much in food stamps and other government assistance
she actually gets, then look at the prices for fresh foods in your local
supermarket and think about the size of her family and how much it'd cost
to feed them good, fresh foods every day. Even at the portions you'd
consider "sensible".

While it is possible to eat better than you described on such a small
amount of money, it takes a lot of time, effort, and training to do it. It
is not intuitive, and it is not something that people are taught how to do
much any more. Also, it is only possible to eat a little better, not a
great deal better. So eating a little better, with a whole lot more work,
that it is unlikely anyone has taken the time to show her how to do versus
spending her time on other things that may appear more productive to her in
the long run...

An awful lot of the people I know who are on government assistance don't
have the time, kitchens, cooking implements, or skills to do what would be
needed to improve their diet. The cost of setting themselves up with the
necessary things to make a diet of beans and rice palatable is likely
higher than that they'd save over the course of several months, which, when
you're living check to check and having to make choices about which bills
to pay, isn't a very good incentive.

They manage to eat enough to survive so they can work their crap jobs with
no hope of advancement (or look constantly for work with few skills and
little hope of finding anything other than soul crushing labour) so maybe
their kids can have some better chance, but aren't likely to because
they'll be fat and thus have a much harder time in school, in the office
place, and out finding jobs. All the while having to carry the stress
caused by all of this so they can die early and their kids can continue
this cycle that we as a society make it nearly impossible to break out of.

Lots easier to just judge her as a fat slob sucking off the government teat
than to actually help her learn a better way. What a great friend you are.
Oh maybe you're nice to her face, but you're here in public calling her a
fat, lazy slob who is *refusing* to feed her family well at the expense of
the tax payers.

Goddess save me from "friends" like you.

--
Siobhan Perricone
"Believing there is no God gives me more room for belief in family,
people, love, truth, beauty, sex, Jell-o and all the other things I can
prove and that make this life the best life I will ever have."
- Penn Jillette from his "This I Believe" essay

Siobhan Perricone wrote:
> I wasn't going to respond to this thread because so many of you are so
> judgemental about the poor, but I couldn't resist this particular post as
> it was a prime example of one of the challenges the poor face in this
> country.
>
> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:31:01 GMT, kilikini wrote:
>
>
>>I keep trying to
>>tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
>>gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
>>kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family.
>

My SIL claims all her kids will eat is that crap, too. And I'm supposed
to be the bad mom because I give her raw veggies, fresh fruit, and other
home prepared stuff.

>
> She isn't killing her family, the indifference to fixing the problems that
> create this situation of poverty is. It's more likely that it's easier to
> tell you her kids won't eat good food than it is to explain the real
> situation. The way you said this in the post makes me wonder just how
> gently you're even saying this to her, and if it doesn't just come across
> as something judgemental that embarrasses her and makes her feel like a
> piece of crap failure, instead of actually encouraging her in some way so
> she might actually succeed.
>
>
>>Sad thing is,
>>all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
>>Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
>>allowed to buy on government assistance.
>
>
> It is *so* easy to judge people in this situation. Why don't you take some
> time to find out how much in food stamps and other government assistance
> she actually gets, then look at the prices for fresh foods in your local
> supermarket and think about the size of her family and how much it'd cost
> to feed them good, fresh foods every day. Even at the portions you'd
> consider "sensible".
>

I spend less on groceries than what my family would receive in food
stamps if we were of a low enough income to qualify for them. Now, I
enjoy cooking, so preparing my meals from scratch is not really a
problem. But it's certainly posiible to prepare nutritious meals for
your family on a budget without resorting to some of the utter crap
choices available.

> While it is possible to eat better than you described on such a small
> amount of money, it takes a lot of time, effort, and training to do it. It
> is not intuitive, and it is not something that people are taught how to do
> much any more. Also, it is only possible to eat a little better, not a
> great deal better. So eating a little better, with a whole lot more work,
> that it is unlikely anyone has taken the time to show her how to do versus
> spending her time on other things that may appear more productive to her in
> the long run...
>

Our lives are governed by the choices we make. 4 years ago, I was not as
capable in the kitchen as I am now, but I still managed to see the
benefits of fresh foods over processed ones.

> An awful lot of the people I know who are on government assistance don't
> have the time, kitchens, cooking implements, or skills to do what would be
> needed to improve their diet. The cost of setting themselves up with the
> necessary things to make a diet of beans and rice palatable is likely
> higher than that they'd save over the course of several months, which, when
> you're living check to check and having to make choices about which bills
> to pay, isn't a very good incentive.
>

It's not hard to learn how to prepare a few simple, nutritious recipes.
Really, it isn't. It sucks to be poor/broke, sure. But we all need to
learn to live within our means.

> They manage to eat enough to survive so they can work their crap jobs with
> no hope of advancement (or look constantly for work with few skills and
> little hope of finding anything other than soul crushing labour) so maybe
> their kids can have some better chance, but aren't likely to because
> they'll be fat and thus have a much harder time in school, in the office
> place, and out finding jobs. All the while having to carry the stress
> caused by all of this so they can die early and their kids can continue
> this cycle that we as a society make it nearly impossible to break out of.
>
> Lots easier to just judge her as a fat slob sucking off the government teat
> than to actually help her learn a better way. What a great friend you are.
> Oh maybe you're nice to her face, but you're here in public calling her a
> fat, lazy slob who is *refusing* to feed her family well at the expense of
> the tax payers.
>
> Goddess save me from "friends" like you.
>

I really try not to be judgemental about this kind of thing, but I've
worked as a supermarket cashier and I've seen what people buy, food
stamps or not. Now, my own dietary choices probably aren't the most
stellar, but the sheer amount of crap people are happy with astounds me.

--

saerah

http://anisaerah.blogspot.com/

email:
anisaerah at s b c global.net

Adam Bowman wrote:
>I always wonder when someone brings up a point about Bush, and you
> then bring up something that Clinton did, are you saying they are both
> wrong? Because that's all it points out to me, places where they both
> messed up. It doesn't negate the fact that Bush did wrong; was that
> your intention?
>
> That type of argument is like
>
> "Bob shot someone"
>
> "Yeah, but don't you remember when Don hit that guy with a bat?"
>

sarah bennett wrote:

>
> > Lots easier to just judge her as a fat slob sucking off the government teat
> > than to actually help her learn a better way. What a great friend you are.
> > Oh maybe you're nice to her face, but you're here in public calling her a
> > fat, lazy slob who is *refusing* to feed her family well at the expense of
> > the tax payers.
> >
> > Goddess save me from "friends" like you.
> >
>
> I really try not to be judgemental about this kind of thing, but I've
> worked as a supermarket cashier and I've seen what people buy, food
> stamps or not. Now, my own dietary choices probably aren't the most
> stellar, but the sheer amount of crap people are happy with astounds me.
>

It's scary to see what some people buy. A while ago I was in the checkout line at
the grocery store behind a big fat lady and her big fat daughter. They had a
cart full of cases of pop (not diet) potato chips chocolate bars, cookies and
other snack foods and a small amount of prepared food. It is hard not to be
judgmental when you see two fat slobs like that and the reason why they are both
so incredibly fat.

The Ranger wrote:

> > My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that
> > if I'd got four kids and was working full time, I'd soon
> > change my ways and opt for foods I could just stick in
> > the microwave
>
> Oh bull pucky. I work full time, have three kids, SWMBO* works
> full-time, we volunteer in many areas... We're stretched more-thinly
> than your friend could hope to imagine. And yet we still manage to buy
> a majority of healthy and wholesome foods. I do not drop my
> expectations and enjoyment of cooking down to cover someone else's
> dreams of convenience simply because they can't produce something
> beyond glop-in-a-box.

My wife and I bother worked. We only had one kid, but cooking is cooking. It
doesn't take that much longer to cook for 6 than it does for 3. The only
thing the microwave was ever used for was to rehear the odd thing, to heat
milk for cocoa or the odd baked potato. The closest we ever got to a
prepared dinner was frozen breaded fish and the odd package of cookies or a
cake mix. Everything else was home made.

My brother and his wife both worked and had four kids. The three boys played
hockey and soccer and the daughter played soccer. Their food was all home
made too.

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:31:40 +0000, Henhouse
> wrote:
>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
>I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
>free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
>time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
>miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
>to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
>make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
>doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
>could be seen as wrong in some way!

Take it as a compliment and blow that blowhard's snide remark off.

> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that
> if I'd got four kids and was working full time, I'd soon
> change my ways and opt for foods I could just stick in
> the microwave

Oh bull pucky. I work full time, have three kids, SWMBO* works
full-time, we volunteer in many areas... We're stretched more-thinly
than your friend could hope to imagine. And yet we still manage to buy
a majority of healthy and wholesome foods. I do not drop my
expectations and enjoyment of cooking down to cover someone else's
dreams of convenience simply because they can't produce something
beyond glop-in-a-box.

If her schedule is so impacted, then she should simplify her schedule
or better yet cook in batches. That way she has her microwavable
casseroles that are better than the sodium-and-fat bombs she's
currently consuming.

ObFood: Corned beef and Dutch potatoes.

The Ranger

"Henhouse" > wrote in message
...
>A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries. I
>also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own free
>range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from time to
>time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food miles
>etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted, to tell
>you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just make the
>choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend doing it, plus
>access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this could be seen as
>wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got four
> kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for foods
> I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four kids etc.,
> just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find myself in that
> position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be even more concerned
> about the foods they were eating than I am about my own. I could be wrong,
> of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or perhaps
> you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the whole
> topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo

You're normal and your friend's an asshole. Next question.

Siobhan Perricone wrote:

> I wasn't going to respond to this thread because so many of you are so
> judgemental about the poor, but I couldn't resist this particular post as
> it was a prime example of one of the challenges the poor face in this
> country.
>
> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:31:01 GMT, Someone wrote:
>
>
>>I keep trying to
>>tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
>>gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
>>kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family.
>
>
> She isn't killing her family, the indifference to fixing the problems that
> create this situation of poverty is. It's more likely that it's easier to
> tell you her kids won't eat good food than it is to explain the real
> situation. The way you said this in the post makes me wonder just how
> gently you're even saying this to her, and if it doesn't just come across
> as something judgemental that embarrasses her and makes her feel like a
> piece of crap failure, instead of actually encouraging her in some way so
> she might actually succeed.
>
>
>>Sad thing is,
>>all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
>>Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
>>allowed to buy on government assistance.
>
>
> It is *so* easy to judge people in this situation. Why don't you take some
> time to find out how much in food stamps and other government assistance
> she actually gets, then look at the prices for fresh foods in your local
> supermarket and think about the size of her family and how much it'd cost
> to feed them good, fresh foods every day. Even at the portions you'd
> consider "sensible".
>
> While it is possible to eat better than you described on such a small
> amount of money, it takes a lot of time, effort, and training to do it. It
> is not intuitive, and it is not something that people are taught how to do
> much any more. Also, it is only possible to eat a little better, not a
> great deal better. So eating a little better, with a whole lot more work,
> that it is unlikely anyone has taken the time to show her how to do versus
> spending her time on other things that may appear more productive to her in
> the long run...
>
> An awful lot of the people I know who are on government assistance don't
> have the time, kitchens, cooking implements, or skills to do what would be
> needed to improve their diet. The cost of setting themselves up with the
> necessary things to make a diet of beans and rice palatable is likely
> higher than that they'd save over the course of several months, which, when
> you're living check to check and having to make choices about which bills
> to pay, isn't a very good incentive.
>
> They manage to eat enough to survive so they can work their crap jobs with
> no hope of advancement (or look constantly for work with few skills and
> little hope of finding anything other than soul crushing labour) so maybe
> their kids can have some better chance, but aren't likely to because
> they'll be fat and thus have a much harder time in school, in the office
> place, and out finding jobs. All the while having to carry the stress
> caused by all of this so they can die early and their kids can continue
> this cycle that we as a society make it nearly impossible to break out of.
>
> Lots easier to just judge her as a fat slob sucking off the government teat
> than to actually help her learn a better way. What a great friend you are.
> Oh maybe you're nice to her face, but you're here in public calling her a
> fat, lazy slob who is *refusing* to feed her family well at the expense of
> the tax payers.
>
> Goddess save me from "friends" like you.
>

<rant>

Amen! Another thing to consider is many in this situation don't have
transportation to get to U-picks or farmer's markets or a veggie stand
where produce is a lot cheaper. Even if they did, storage becomes an
issue because chest freezers and larger fridges are a luxury not
available. Have you ever seen the size of appliances in public housing?
You can't even fit normal sized cookie sheets or pans in the oven. I
doubt a turkey, one of the cheapest meats, would fit! Fridges are so
small, there is no way you could have much in the way of frozen food or
fresh food. Making the situation worse, they are often in housing where
they cannot grow produce themselves and even if they could might not be
able to afford the seeds or if working, the time. Inner city persons on
assistance often don't have access to actual grocery stores either.
Then as I mentioned in another post some don't have the necessary skills
and something you have pointed out. My opinion, and only that, is there
needs to be free classes to help educate about nutrition and cooking
along with resources to help with things like kitchen equipment even if
it means transportation to a church kitchen. We are very lucky here -
speaking as a bunch of people who don't even know each other, well maybe
some do - to have computer access to this ng and to be able to share our
knowledge. A lot of people on assistance don't have this and while
internet access may be available at libraries for free, some of them
don't even have the option to use it. A lot of those people end up
having to use food banks to stretch their food budgets. What good is
the food if they don't know how to cook it or don't have the equipment
to do so? We are also very lucky that - I'm assuming - most of us have
ever really known hunger. When I shop, I buy exactly what I want.
While price is a concern as I want the best bang for my dollar, I still
buy what I want. I would be very naive to ever think someone on
assistance or even a fixed income can do the same thing. Personally, I
feel I am very blessed to be able to cook and eat the way I want. Part
of that includes a large garden and home preserving, not always an
option to those who really could use a break. IMO, I have a moral
responsibilty to help whether it through helping someone learn to cook,
sharing things from my garden, donating to a food bank, or giving
kitchen equipment I don't need to someone who does. What I don't have
the right to do is judge them. These are my views only.

</rant>

Henhouse wrote:
> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
> to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
> make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
> doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
> could be seen as wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
> four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
> foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
> kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
> myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
> even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
> own. I could be wrong, of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
> perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
> whole topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo

...get your friend to watch ready steady cook:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/tv_and_rad...ok_index.shtml

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:31:49 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:

> It is hard not to be
>judgmental when you see two fat slobs like that and the reason why they are both
>so incredibly fat.
>


And what just makes me want to scream is when they have the nerve to
pay for their food with your money, i.e. food stamps. I just want to
scream out...."now turn around and thank everyone in line for paying
for your crap!"

Henhouse wrote:
> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
> to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
> make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
> doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
> could be seen as wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
> four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
> foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
> kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
> myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
> even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
> own. I could be wrong, of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
> perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
> whole topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo

I am sorry to hear about your experience, hope you feel better soon..
on a related note.. I'd feel so ashamed if I said such things about my
friend on an ng.. but I understand how angry one can feel about such
things.. Maybe you can get your friend to respond here also, so we can
hear her reasonings..

On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:38:58 -0500, Dave Smith
> wrote:
>The Ranger wrote:
>
> > > My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that
> > > if I'd got four kids and was working full time, I'd soon
> > > change my ways and opt for foods I could just stick in
> > > the microwave
> > >
> > Oh bull pucky. I work full time, have three kids, SWMBO* works
> > full-time, we volunteer in many areas... We're stretched more-thinly
> > than your friend could hope to imagine. And yet we still manage to buy
> > a majority of healthy and wholesome foods. I do not drop my
> > expectations and enjoyment of cooking down to cover someone else's
> > dreams of convenience simply because they can't produce something
> > beyond glop-in-a-box.
> >
> My wife and I bother worked. We only had one kid, but cooking is cooking.
> It doesn't take that much longer to cook for 6 than it does for 3. The only
> thing the microwave was ever used for was to rehear the odd thing, to
> heat milk for cocoa or the odd baked potato. The closest we ever got to
> a prepared dinner was frozen breaded fish and the odd package of cookies
> or a cake mix. Everything else was home made.
>
> My brother and his wife both worked and had four kids. The three boys
> played hockey and soccer and the daughter played soccer. Their food
> was all home made too.

Exactly!

I have several friends similar to the OP's in regards to the points of
views towards food, in general, and how important convenience is to
them. Yet I can put together better meals with similar minimalist's
effort. The savings in time (mere minutes) just isn't worth it to me.

For every one that thinks I'm a snob, I bow and proudly prove them
right.

ObEarlierReference: *
http://www.ibiblio.org/pub/electroni...rs/Rumpole-FAQ

The Ranger
--
"I used to think a good friend would bail me out of jail, but a true
friend would be sitting next to me saying, 'Damn! That was fun!' But
now I know a good friend is someone that listens to me talk about my
family and a true friend will sit and look at their pictures again."
-- Don Cook, 11/24/05

In article >,
Henhouse > wrote:

> A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
> I also always buy free range chicken and use either eggs from our own
> free range chooks, or bought duck eggs. I also buy organic foods from
> time to time, and try to buy seasonally and locally (being aware of food
> miles etc.) Does this really make me a food snob? I feel quite insulted,
> to tell you the truth - I don't dictate what others should eat, I just
> make the choices I prefer. I enjoy cooking and have the time to spend
> doing it, plus access to great local produce - I'm not sure why this
> could be seen as wrong in some way!
>
> My friend got quite heated about it all, and told me that if I'd got
> four kids and was working full time, I'd soon change my ways and opt for
> foods I could just stick in the microwave (not that she has the four
> kids etc., just the one 25yr old son). I'm not likely to ever find
> myself in that position, but I imagine that if I had children I'd be
> even more concerned about the foods they were eating than I am about my
> own. I could be wrong, of course!
>
> This is the same friend who is happy to come to dinner at my house, but
> who refuses to return the favour, as she is 'frightened' of cooking for
> me, as I am (allegedly) good at it - LOL! I'd be happy with beans on
> toast, if someone else had cooked it - but that's by the by.
>
> Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
> perhaps you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the
> whole topic? Opinions welcomed!
>
> Jo
Hi, Jo-- nice to see you again,. :-)
How much do you value her friendship? How much do you have invested in
"being right"? Maybe she's envious or jealous that, for whatever
reason, she cannot or will not make the same choices you do, in spite of
a knowledge that your way is "better" than hers. You make her feel
guilty and it's easier to be ****ed at you than to admit it to herself .
JMO.

If you want peace, say something like, "that might be so" when she tells
you how tough it is to feed four kids, etc. And let it go. Do you have
children? I have two adult kids and I sometimes tell folks that the
hardest part of being a parent is coming to grips with the fact that
what your children want for themselves is not what YOU want for them. I
have concerns about my granddaughter's diet and the amount of fast food
and preservative-laden foods that are eaten by her family (my daughter's
family). My daughter is not an especially skillful cook, I think, and
says it's because she doesn't have time to cook much. That's only
partially true, I think, because she works four days a week, not five.
With a different outlook, I think she could cook better and more
healthfully. But it's not her priority and it's none of my business.
We put our energy to what is important to us. They don't "care" about
food as much as I do, except for how quickly it can be prepared. I was
a SAHM and viewed "cooking" as my job. It is what I took some pride in.
Many folks don't see it that way. And too many don't grasp that the
habits instilled in toddlers and young children are VERY difficult to
change as adults without serious self-motivation. (I didn't grasp it
myself, so please don't think I'm preaching from a lofty spot.)

As far as not reciprocating, my SIL says "a peanut butter sandwich
tastes good if someone else makes it." A universal sentiment, it seems.
:-) I never entertain. I can put a decent meal on the table but I'm
a wretched housekeeper, my kitchen is cluttered, and I become stressed
at the thought of trying to tidy up for company. It's not particularly
rational, I know. But it is what it is.

I don't think you're being especially precious about it, but I think you
will not convince her, either, so decide how much peace you want, and
continue to invite them over because you enjoy their company.

If she rags on you about your choice of organically-grown foods, give a
shoulder shrug and just say you prefer the taste,. And let it go. She
can't insult you without your permission. "-)
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

On 18 Mar 2006 08:13:44 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> I'd feel so ashamed if I said such things about my
> friend on an ng..

You have other reasons for being so ashamed.

The Ranger
---
"You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then
I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the
terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve
them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and
unfairness of the universe."
-+-+-+ Marcus, 'A Late Delivery From Avalon', Babylon 5

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:

> He was on vacation with us last summer and during the course of a
> conversation said that he is very sensitive and doesn't take
> criticism well. Within a few minutes he said something I took offence
> to but then said he was just joking... pulling my chain. I told him
> that I was sensitive too, and that he should consider that when he
> thinks he should pull may chain.


LOL! I know a couple people like that. Be forewarned: I give as good
as I get.
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

In article >,
Ward Abbott > wrote:

> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 10:31:40 +0000, Henhouse
> > wrote:
>
> >A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>
> And I bet she is grossly overweight. Every time I go to the store
> and observe shoppers, the overweight people ALWAYS have their cart
> filled with processed, prepared food.
>
> Thin people have good food in their cart and most likely know how to
> peel a potato and make a mashed potato.

Hmmm. What about those of us who are overweight and have lots of
produce in the cart? And little processed food? (All that Progresso
soup in my cart? Not for me--but that's another topic of discussion.)
How do you neatly categorize us?
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

In article >,
"Doug Kanter" > wrote:

> "Henhouse" > wrote in message
> ...
> >A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
> >Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries. I
(snippage)
> > Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
> > accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or perhaps
> > you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the whole
> > topic? Opinions welcomed!
> >
> > Jo
>
> You're normal and your friend's an asshole. Next question.

Oh, pishtosh, Doug! Jo doesn't have assholes for friends. Her friend
is intimidated and envious and doesn't know how to say so without being
attacking.
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

The Ranger wrote:
> On 18 Mar 2006 08:13:44 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> > I'd feel so ashamed if I said such things about my
> > friend on an ng..
>
> You have other reasons for being so ashamed.
>
> The Ranger
> ---
> "You know, I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then
> I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair, and all the
> terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve
> them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and
> unfairness of the universe."
> -+-+-+ Marcus, 'A Late Delivery From Avalon', Babylon 5

...yeah, sometimes I act like the meal is more important then the
person..

In article <GlTSf.127813$4l5.20056@dukeread05>,
Roberta > wrote:

> do buy some processed food...not a whole lot but some (ego waffles,

Are they oversized? How do you get them to fit in the toaster? "-)

> Sorry - got off on my own rant there

It's okay. It helps us feel superior. "-)

> Roberta (in VA)
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

In article >,
"kilikini" > wrote:
> kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family. Sad thing is,
> all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
> Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
> allowed to buy on government assistance.
>
> kili

I think they should make sure that the recipients are honestly eligible
and then stay the hell out of their grocery carts. Have you ever
offered to help her with meal planning or cooking? Maybe she doesn't
know how.
Sign her up for Dr. Phil's weight loss show.
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> "Doug Kanter" > wrote:
>
>> "Henhouse" > wrote in message
>> ...
>> >A friend of mine accused me of being a food snob the other day. Why?
>> >Because I don't buy processed food, and never go to fast food eateries.
>> >I
> (snippage)
>> > Anyway, I was wondering if anyone else here has suffered a similar
>> > accusation, and had any good arguments with which to refute it? Or
>> > perhaps
>> > you think my friend is right and I'm just too precious about the whole
>> > topic? Opinions welcomed!
>> >
>> > Jo
>>
>> You're normal and your friend's an asshole. Next question.
>
> Oh, pishtosh, Doug! Jo doesn't have assholes for friends. Her friend
> is intimidated and envious and doesn't know how to say so without being
> attacking.

I don't buy it. In my first year of college, my friends and I took about 3
days to realize that if we ate nothing but dorm food, we'd soon be dead. We
did something highly unusual - something we discussed only in hushed tones,
far from strangers: We went out and bought a few cookbooks. Then, we went
out to the park behind the dorm and found some long, thin branches which had
fallen off trees. We used those sticks to open the books from 6-8 feet away,
just in case they exploded or tried to bite us. They didn't. Next, we read
the books. Within a month or two, we had some recipes down pat. Hot plates
and crock pots were illegal, so we had to bribe the R.A. with food, and
promise to unplug everything when finished.

Books. We used books. Not only that, but we were smoking astounding
quantities of pot, and we were STILL able to read the books.

In article >,
Siobhan Perricone > wrote:

> I wasn't going to respond to this thread because so many of you are so
> judgemental about the poor, but I couldn't resist this particular post as
> it was a prime example of one of the challenges the poor face in this
> country.
>
> On Sat, 18 Mar 2006 11:31:01 GMT, Someone wrote:
>
> >I keep trying to
> >tell her that it's the kind of food she's buying that's causing the weight
> >gain, she nods and says "she knows", but she claims that this is all her
> >kids will eat. Personally, I think she's killing her family.
>
> She isn't killing her family, the indifference to fixing the problems that
> create this situation of poverty is. It's more likely that it's easier to
> tell you her kids won't eat good food than it is to explain the real
> situation. The way you said this in the post makes me wonder just how
> gently you're even saying this to her, and if it doesn't just come across
> as something judgemental that embarrasses her and makes her feel like a
> piece of crap failure, instead of actually encouraging her in some way so
> she might actually succeed.
>
> >Sad thing is,
> >all this junk "food" is supported by the government. Yep, you got it, Food
> >Stamps. Someone should supervise what kinds of foods people should be
> >allowed to buy on government assistance.
>
> It is *so* easy to judge people in this situation. Why don't you take some
> time to find out how much in food stamps and other government assistance
> she actually gets, then look at the prices for fresh foods in your local
> supermarket and think about the size of her family and how much it'd cost
> to feed them good, fresh foods every day. Even at the portions you'd
> consider "sensible".
>
> While it is possible to eat better than you described on such a small
> amount of money, it takes a lot of time, effort, and training to do it. It
> is not intuitive, and it is not something that people are taught how to do
> much any more. Also, it is only possible to eat a little better, not a
> great deal better. So eating a little better, with a whole lot more work,
> that it is unlikely anyone has taken the time to show her how to do versus
> spending her time on other things that may appear more productive to her in
> the long run...
>
> An awful lot of the people I know who are on government assistance don't
> have the time, kitchens, cooking implements, or skills to do what would be
> needed to improve their diet. The cost of setting themselves up with the
> necessary things to make a diet of beans and rice palatable is likely
> higher than that they'd save over the course of several months, which, when
> you're living check to check and having to make choices about which bills
> to pay, isn't a very good incentive.
>
> They manage to eat enough to survive so they can work their crap jobs with
> no hope of advancement (or look constantly for work with few skills and
> little hope of finding anything other than soul crushing labour) so maybe
> their kids can have some better chance, but aren't likely to because
> they'll be fat and thus have a much harder time in school, in the office
> place, and out finding jobs. All the while having to carry the stress
> caused by all of this so they can die early and their kids can continue
> this cycle that we as a society make it nearly impossible to break out of.
>
> Lots easier to just judge her as a fat slob sucking off the government teat
> than to actually help her learn a better way. What a great friend you are.
> Oh maybe you're nice to her face, but you're here in public calling her a
> fat, lazy slob who is *refusing* to feed her family well at the expense of
> the tax payers.
>
> Goddess save me from "friends" like you.

Sweet Jesus! Siobbhan!! May I sit by you? It would be a pleasure to
sit at your feet, Lady. Well said!! I salute you.
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."

The Ranger wrote:
> On 18 Mar 2006 08:38:21 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> > The Ranger wrote:
> > > On 18 Mar 2006 08:13:44 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> > > > I'd feel so ashamed if I said such things about my
> > > > friend on an ng..
> > > >
> > > You have other reasons for being so ashamed.
> > >
> > ..yeah, sometimes I act like the meal is more important
> > then the person..
>
> ...And sometimes you don't act at all... So many other reasons to hang
> your head.
>
> The Ranger
> --
> "They're all in my kill file, so I don't see the original posts. [..]
> I've got enough mental illness..."
> Marjorie P, am, 2/21/03

huh?

On 18 Mar 2006 08:38:21 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> The Ranger wrote:
> > On 18 Mar 2006 08:13:44 -0800, "dee" > wrote:
> > > I'd feel so ashamed if I said such things about my
> > > friend on an ng..
> > >
> > You have other reasons for being so ashamed.
> >
> ..yeah, sometimes I act like the meal is more important
> then the person..

....And sometimes you don't act at all... So many other reasons to hang
your head.

The Ranger
--
"They're all in my kill file, so I don't see the original posts. [..]
I've got enough mental illness..."
Marjorie P, am, 2/21/03

In article >,
Dave Smith > wrote:
> It's scary to see what some people buy. A while ago I was in the
> checkout line at the grocery store behind a big fat lady and her big
> fat daughter. They had a cart full of cases of pop (not diet) potato
> chips chocolate bars, cookies and other snack foods and a small
> amount of prepared food. It is hard not to be judgmental when you
> see two fat slobs like that and the reason why they are both so
> incredibly fat.

It is hard, isn't it? I see it an wonder what it is in their lives that
took them to that state. What misery and unhappiness and sadness and
anger are they treating with high calories and not much nutrition? What
rage within do they stuff down with food? Where did their hope go and
how old were they when it did?
--
-Barb
<www.jamlady.eboard.com> Updated 3-17-2006, The $400K Condo in the
'Hood
"If it's not worth doing to excess, it's not worth doing at all."