i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
> This is the hospital where my dad is. Too soon to tell really how he is
> doing but he seems not to know a lot of things and forgetful of others.
> Foods for instance. He seems to think he hates everything, until he gets
> it and eats it. He was eating raw veggies with a fork, dipping them into
> Ranch dressing. He did hand my mom his cucumbers which he has always
> done. He does hate those and she likes them. But then he dipped his roll
> in the dressing. And then he debated whether or not to dip his cookie in
> it! Thankfully he decided against that.
>
> He is on the diabetic diet. It was somewhat limited. I didn't look at
> the breakfast options. Just the lunch/dinner which is what we ordered for
> him tonight. Everything had the carb count listed. It was either 0, 15
> or 30 grams of carb. Sandwiches could be ordered in half or whole. There
> were several salads and quite a large choice of low carb veg. Those were
> listed as 0 carbs. For the 15 count veg there were peas and something
> else. I can't remember what the other thing was. I don't recall seeing
> any potatoes listed. But white rice was. The meats were rather limited.
> Turkey breast, salmon, braised beef and maybe one other thing. He had the
> braised beef tonight and I was quite annoyed that it came with peas and
> carrots. It was more like a stew. Not enough to count much in terms of
> carbs but given that Angela does have that pea allergy I felt they should
> be listed.
>
> He also had mac and cheese. This looked like the real thing but the sauce
> was a bit runny. The portion was very small. There was a choice of white
> or wheat roll. There were some dessert choices listed. Some had no carbs
> such as the lemon lime sugar free Jell-O. I think there were a couple of
> other things in that category but I can't remember what they were. There
> was sugar free pudding, regular pudding, ice cream, sherbet, angel food
> cake and cookies. Tonight my mom chose a sugar cookie. It was huge and
> not a sugar cookie but a Snickerdoodle. I have to wonder if that was
> really the right thing they gave him. She said last night he had a peanut
> butter cookie which was tiny and tasted terrible.
>
> There were quite a few beverages listed. Coffee, tea, and the decaf.
> versions of both. Several different bottled waters, diet sodas, milk, and
> some sort of diabetic meal replacement shake. I don't think any juices
> were listed at all.
>
> My mom said he was told at the hospital that he could have up to 85 grams
> of carb per meal but his Dr. has him on 45 grams which is more like what
> he ate. She did order more than that but he only ate one bite of the roll
> and a few bites of the cookie.
>
> It is up to the patient to order their own meals. They could, if they
> wanted, order one of each meat and one of each low carb veg.
>
> But the problem? My dad is at the point where he really isn't capable of
> doing anything for himself. He just isn't thinking to do it. So somebody
> has to be there to order the meals for him. Which my mom has been doing.
>
> They do have a hotel attached to the hospital. She may wind up having to
> stay there. She has been taking a cab and my brother or SIL have been
> driving her home. My husband is going to take her there in the morning.
>
> At this point we do not know how long he will be in there. He has started
> some physical therapy but needs a lot more. If he qualifies, he can do it
> there for two weeks. If he doesn't, he will have to go elsewhere for four
> weeks. I think we are all hoping he will be moved somewhere closer to
> home, even though we don't necessarily want him to be stuck in some place
> for longer. Unless of course it is what he needs.
>
> They had what appeared to be a really good cafeteria although some of it
> was closed today. During the week there is a taco bar and also a deli.
> Those were closed. The salad station was also closed but wasn't supposed
> to be. There was a steam table with very limited choices. And the burger
> place was open. Very limited menu of beef burger, turkey burger, salmon
> burger, all with a variety of options, including no bun. French fries and
> onion rings. I made the mistake of ordering the "big" order of fries and
> assumed I wouldn't get too many based on the $2.00 price. OMG! They
> could have fed all 6 of us plus the next table! I won't be doing that
> again!
>
> They also had some self serve things including pizza, salads, sandwiches,
> hard boiled eggs, cheeses and sushi.
>

"Storrmmee" > wrote in message
...
>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee

Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it. I
don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back here
we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford it.
Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it once.
But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider it.

We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents are
both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with them.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
> ...
>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>
> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
> it. I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we
> moved back here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just
> couldn't afford it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale.
> I did live in it once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me.
> So we didn't consider it.
>
> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to
> keep going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her
> parents are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to
> help with them.

Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it
was no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever
safe, but that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think
it quite fair to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay
bills whatever but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually
think it was better you aren't living close by given they are a "bit"
difficult. I think most aging people know there will come a time when
life changes for them.

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>
>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
>> it.
>>
>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
>> them.
>
> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.

My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
this online but they just refuse to do it that way.

Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
as they do!

I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.

The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
because he is a programmer.

I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
given that my dad will do these things for her.

We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>
>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
>>> it. I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we
>>> moved back here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just
>>> couldn't afford it. Actually the house next door to them was for
>>> sale. I did live in it once. But it has stairs and that is no good
>>> for me. So we didn't consider it.
>>>
>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to
>>> keep going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her
>>> parents are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot
>>> to help with them.
>>
>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst
>> yourselves worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it
>> might be a long time coming. But people adapt to that. My
>> grandparents had to when it was no longer safe for my grandfather to
>> drive (not that he was ever safe, but that's another story!) Once
>> things have settled down I think it quite fair to say take your mum
>> shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever but not be
>> expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better you
>> aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
>> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
>
> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
> they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
> out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
> I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
> to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>
> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
> in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
> the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
> a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
> there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
> how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
> they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
> that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
>
> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
> BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
> tonight.
>
> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
> herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
> brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
> in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
> mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
> something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
> do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
> matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
> capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
> refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
> my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
> for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
> think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
> ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
> the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
> brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
>
> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
> maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
> tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
>
> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.

Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
day?...

Ozgirl > wrote:


: "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
: >
: > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
: > they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
: > out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
: > I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
: > to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
: >
: > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
: > in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
: > the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
: > a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
: > there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
: > how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
: > they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
: > that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
: >
: > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
: > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
: > BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
: > tonight.
: >
: > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
: > herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
: > brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
: > in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
: > mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
: > something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
: > do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
: > matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
: > capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
: > refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
: > my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
: > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
: > for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
: > think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
: > ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
: > the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
: > brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
: >
: > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
: > maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
: > tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
: >
: > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.

: Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
: day?...

Given this scenario , with your Mom, not likely to suddently start doing
all these things. Is there a senior living place in the area, the kind
where you live in an apartment and get meals and once a week cleaning and
linen change? This migh tbe what they will have to think of, even if your
father regains some mobility, etc. It is a big change and will, probably
necessitate their selling their house in this bad markt or, at least
renting it. Don't jump and say"never" r "they won't" etc. these kinds of
things do become a reality after a shileunless one of you is prepared to
have them move in with them, which can be EXTREMELY difficult.

Wendy

"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Ozgirl > wrote:
>
>
> : "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> : >
> : > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
> : > they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go
> : > out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food.
> : > I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried
> : > to get them to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
> : >
> : > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
> : > in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
> : > the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have
> : > a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is
> : > there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know
> : > how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because
> : > they want to go. We can't really afford to go much more often than
> : > that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they do!
> : >
> : > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> : > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
> : > BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
> : > tonight.
> : >
> : > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
> : > herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
> : > brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once
> : > in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the
> : > mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
> : > something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I
> : > do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
> : > matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't
> : > capable. But there are things that to me are simple things and she
> : > refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has
> : > my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> : > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
> : > for her before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I
> : > think her memory is really going. She got very upset with me for
> : > ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And other things involving
> : > the computer that to me are easy to fix. She normally relies on my
> : > brother to do computer things because he is a programmer.
> : >
> : > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
> : > maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
> : > tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
> : >
> : > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>
> : Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
> : day?...
>
> Given this scenario , with your Mom, not likely to suddently start doing
> all these things. Is there a senior living place in the area, the kind
> where you live in an apartment and get meals and once a week cleaning and
> linen change? This migh tbe what they will have to think of, even if your
> father regains some mobility, etc. It is a big change and will, probably
> necessitate their selling their house in this bad markt or, at least
> renting it. Don't jump and say"never" r "they won't" etc. these kinds of
> things do become a reality after a shileunless one of you is prepared to
> have them move in with them, which can be EXTREMELY difficult.

There is one near us and they have refused to go. My mom said they can
never move out of their house. She isn't being reasonable on many fronts.
OTOH it is highly unlikely that their house would sell. They have 1 11/2
baths and the realtor said people do not want this. Now they want 2 full
baths.

Their house is paid off. So they only pay the taxes. There is no way they
could afford rent unless they could sell the house.

"Ozgirl" > wrote in message
...
>
>
> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>>
>>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
>>>> it. I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we
>>>> moved back here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just
>>>> couldn't afford it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale.
>>>> I did live in it once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So
>>>> we didn't consider it.
>>>>
>>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>>>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>>>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help
>>>> with them.
>>>
>>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
>>> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
>>> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it
>>> was no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever
>>> safe, but that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think
>>> it quite fair to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay
>>> bills whatever but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually
>>> think it was better you aren't living close by given they are a "bit"
>>> difficult. I think most aging people know there will come a time when
>>> life changes for them.
>>
>> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
>> they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out
>> to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't
>> think there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them
>> to do this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>>
>> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
>> another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two
>> of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who
>> comes once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They
>> also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford
>> it. We go to the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go.
>> We can't really afford to go much more often than that. And we sure
>> can't dine out as often as they do!
>>
>> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
>> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
>> was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
>>
>> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
>> herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
>> brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in
>> a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset
>> that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do something and
>> then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure I do make
>> exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a matter of having
>> to be able to read or see something, I know she isn't capable. But there
>> are things that to me are simple things and she refuses to learn how to
>> do them. Like ordering stuff online. She has my dad do it for her. She
>> did have me do it once but then she freaked when she found out how much
>> the item cost! I had ordered this item for her before and I thought she
>> knew that it was expensive but I think her memory is really going. She
>> got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am really torn on this.
>> And other things involving the computer that to me are easy to fix. She
>> normally relies on my brother to do computer things because he is a
>> programmer.
>>
>> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
>> maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
>> tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
>>
>> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>
> Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come a
> day?...

I don't think she ever thought of it.

"Julie Bove" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> "Ozgirl" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>> "Storrmmee" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>>i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>>>
>>>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't
>>>>> do it. I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When
>>>>> we moved back here we did try to buy a house in their city but we
>>>>> just couldn't afford it. Actually the house next door to them was
>>>>> for sale. I did live in it once. But it has stairs and that is no
>>>>> good for me. So we didn't consider it.
>>>>>
>>>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to
>>>>> keep going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but
>>>>> her parents are both in really bad shape and they have been doing
>>>>> a lot to help with them.
>>>>
>>>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst
>>>> yourselves worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it
>>>> might be a long time coming. But people adapt to that. My
>>>> grandparents had to when it was no longer safe for my grandfather
>>>> to drive (not that he was ever safe, but that's another story!)
>>>> Once things have settled down I think it quite fair to say take
>>>> your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever but
>>>> not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was
>>>> better you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult.
>>>> I think most aging people know there will come a time when life
>>>> changes for them.
>>>
>>> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little
>>> food they do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly
>>> they go out to eat. And if they don't do that he gets some sort of
>>> fast food. I don't think there is any need to go out to pay bills.
>>> I have tried to get them to do this online but they just refuse to
>>> do it that way.
>>>
>>> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
>>> in another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between
>>> the two of them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also
>>> have a maid who comes once a week and they refuse to be home when
>>> she is there. They also go to the movies a lot too. I honestly
>>> don't know how they afford it. We go to the movies once a month,
>>> mainly because they want to go. We can't really afford to go much
>>> more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often as they
>>> do!
>>>
>>> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
>>> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now.
>>> His BG was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner
>>> tonight.
>>>
>>> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
>>> herself. She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my
>>> brother. Or my nephew. And she pays him to do things for her.
>>> Once in a while she will ask me to do something for her. But I have
>>> the mindset that I will show you once, or maybe even twice how to do
>>> something and then you'd better be able to do it yourself! Now sure
>>> I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going blind so if it's a
>>> matter of having to be able to read or see something, I know she
>>> isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
>>> and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff
>>> online. She has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once
>>> but then she freaked when she found out how much the item cost! I
>>> had ordered this item for her before and I thought she knew that it
>>> was expensive but I think her memory is really going. She got very
>>> upset with me for ordering it. So I am really torn on this. And
>>> other things involving the computer that to me are easy to fix. She
>>> normally relies on my brother to do computer things because he is a
>>> programmer.
>>>
>>> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
>>> maintenance or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she
>>> tried. It is just a given that my dad will do these things for her.
>>>
>>> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>>
>> Well, it could be difficult but surely they expected there would come
>> a day?...
>
> I don't think she ever thought of it.

Well it will be a swim or sink situation especially if your dad isn't
capable of driving anymore.

>
>

On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
>>
>>
>> "Julie > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>> > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>
>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
>>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
>>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
>>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
>>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
>>> it.
>>>
>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
>>> them.
>>
>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
>> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
>> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
>> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
>> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
>> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
>> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
>> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
>> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
>
> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
> do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
> And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
> there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
> this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>
> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
> another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
> them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
> once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
> the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
> the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
> afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
> as they do!
>
> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
> was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
>
> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
> She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
> nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
> ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
> once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
> to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
> blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
> know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
> and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
> has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
> when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
> before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
> is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
> really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
> easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
> because he is a programmer.
>
> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
> or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
> given that my dad will do these things for her.
>
> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>
>
The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
next day.

i didn't define elderly
he's 102 and she's 97

kate

"Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
...
> On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
>> > wrote in message
>> ...
>>>
>>>
>>> "Julie > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>>
>>>> > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
>>>>
>>>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
>>>> it.
>>>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved
>>>> back
>>>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't
>>>> afford
>>>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
>>>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't
>>>> consider
>>>> it.
>>>>
>>>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
>>>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
>>>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help
>>>> with
>>>> them.
>>>
>>> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
>>> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
>>> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it
>>> was
>>> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe,
>>> but
>>> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite
>>> fair
>>> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills
>>> whatever
>>> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was
>>> better
>>> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think
>>> most
>>> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
>>
>> My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
>> they
>> do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to
>> eat.
>> And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
>> there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
>> this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
>>
>> Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
>> another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two
>> of
>> them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who
>> comes
>> once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go
>> to
>> the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go
>> to
>> the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
>> afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as
>> often
>> as they do!
>>
>> I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
>> insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
>> was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
>>
>> The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
>> herself.
>> She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or
>> my
>> nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
>> ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show
>> you
>> once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be
>> able
>> to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is
>> going
>> blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something,
>> I
>> know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple
>> things
>> and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online.
>> She
>> has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she
>> freaked
>> when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for
>> her
>> before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her
>> memory
>> is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
>> really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me
>> are
>> easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
>> because he is a programmer.
>>
>> I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
>> maintenance
>> or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is
>> just a
>> given that my dad will do these things for her.
>>
>> We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
>>
>>
> The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every day
> for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2 the
> senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft boiled
> egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are their mid
> day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the next day.
>
> i didn't define elderly
> he's 102 and she's 97

It's very expensive to get taxis here. They only have them in Seattle and
Everett and not the cities where we live. It is costing my mom $50 to get
to the hospital.

She just called and they are moving him tomorrow to another floor for
physical therapy. So that means he will likely get out in 2 weeks! And
because tomorrow is a holiday we can visit.

Tiger Lily > wrote:
: On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
: > > wrote in message
: > ...
: >>
: >>
: >> "Julie > wrote in message
: >> ...
: >>>
: >>> > wrote in message
: >>> ...
: >>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
: >>>
: >>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do it.
: >>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved back
: >>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't afford
: >>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in it
: >>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't consider
: >>> it.
: >>>
: >>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to keep
: >>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her parents
: >>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help with
: >>> them.
: >>
: >> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst yourselves
: >> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a long
: >> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it was
: >> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever safe, but
: >> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite fair
: >> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills whatever
: >> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was better
: >> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think most
: >> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
: >
: > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food they
: > do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to eat.
: > And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't think
: > there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to do
: > this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
: >
: > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino in
: > another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the two of
: > them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who comes
: > once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also go to
: > the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We go to
: > the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't really
: > afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as often
: > as they do!
: >
: > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
: > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His BG
: > was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
: >
: > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for herself.
: > She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother. Or my
: > nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she will
: > ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will show you
: > once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be able
: > to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is going
: > blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see something, I
: > know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple things
: > and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online. She
: > has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she freaked
: > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item for her
: > before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her memory
: > is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
: > really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to me are
: > easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
: > because he is a programmer.
: >
: > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for maintenance
: > or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is just a
: > given that my dad will do these things for her.
: >
: > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
: >
: >
: The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
: day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
: the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
: boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
: their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
: next day.

: i didn't define elderly
: he's 102 and she's 97

: kate

Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5 das
a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your mother
could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
computer.

Wendy

"W. Baker" > wrote in message
...
> Tiger Lily > wrote:
> : On 9/4/2011 3:23 AM, Julie Bove wrote:
> : > > wrote in message
> : > ...
> : >>
> : >>
> : >> "Julie > wrote in message
> : >> ...
> : >>>
> : >>> > wrote in message
> : >>> ...
> : >>>> i hope he recovers quickly, Lee
> : >>>
> : >>> Thanks! I hope he gets well enough to drive because my mom can't do
> it.
> : >>> I don't really fancy having to drive them everywhere. When we moved
> back
> : >>> here we did try to buy a house in their city but we just couldn't
> afford
> : >>> it. Actually the house next door to them was for sale. I did live in
> it
> : >>> once. But it has stairs and that is no good for me. So we didn't
> consider
> : >>> it.
> : >>>
> : >>> We live far enough away from them now that it is a pain to have to
> keep
> : >>> going out there. My brother and SIL do live near them but her
> parents
> : >>> are both in really bad shape and they have been doing a lot to help
> with
> : >>> them.
> : >>
> : >> Well there is still time to think about and discuss amongst
> yourselves
> : >> worst case scenarios. I think if he ever drives again it might be a
> long
> : >> time coming. But people adapt to that. My grandparents had to when it
> was
> : >> no longer safe for my grandfather to drive (not that he was ever
> safe, but
> : >> that's another story!) Once things have settled down I think it quite
> fair
> : >> to say take your mum shopping for food every so often, pay bills
> whatever
> : >> but not be expected to be on call as such. I actually think it was
> better
> : >> you aren't living close by given they are a "bit" difficult. I think
> most
> : >> aging people know there will come a time when life changes for them.
> : >
> : > My mom doesn't shop for food. And that's a problem. What little food
> they
> : > do keep in the house is stuff that my dad buys. Mostly they go out to
> eat.
> : > And if they don't do that he gets some sort of fast food. I don't
> think
> : > there is any need to go out to pay bills. I have tried to get them to
> do
> : > this online but they just refuse to do it that way.
> : >
> : > Mostly if they are not going out to eat they are going to the casino
> in
> : > another city, to the Dr. (they have a lot of appointments between the
> two of
> : > them) and to the massage therapist weekly. They also have a maid who
> comes
> : > once a week and they refuse to be home when she is there. They also
> go to
> : > the movies a lot too. I honestly don't know how they afford it. We
> go to
> : > the movies once a month, mainly because they want to go. We can't
> really
> : > afford to go much more often than that. And we sure can't dine out as
> often
> : > as they do!
> : >
> : > I think all of their prescriptions come by mail. Not sure about the
> : > insulin. They have my dad on some other kind with meals for now. His
> BG
> : > was high when they admitted him but it was good before dinner tonight.
> : >
> : > The biggest problem is that my mom doesn't do a lot of things for
> herself.
> : > She just expects my dad to do these things for her. Or my brother.
> Or my
> : > nephew. And she pays him to do things for her. Once in a while she
> will
> : > ask me to do something for her. But I have the mindset that I will
> show you
> : > once, or maybe even twice how to do something and then you'd better be
> able
> : > to do it yourself! Now sure I do make exceptions. Like I know she is
> going
> : > blind so if it's a matter of having to be able to read or see
> something, I
> : > know she isn't capable. But there are things that to me are simple
> things
> : > and she refuses to learn how to do them. Like ordering stuff online.
> She
> : > has my dad do it for her. She did have me do it once but then she
> freaked
> : > when she found out how much the item cost! I had ordered this item
> for her
> : > before and I thought she knew that it was expensive but I think her
> memory
> : > is really going. She got very upset with me for ordering it. So I am
> : > really torn on this. And other things involving the computer that to
> me are
> : > easy to fix. She normally relies on my brother to do computer things
> : > because he is a programmer.
> : >
> : > I don't think she has ever put gas in the car, taken the car for
> maintenance
> : > or repairs. She has never assembled things nor has she tried. It is
> just a
> : > given that my dad will do these things for her.
> : >
> : > We'll see. Looks like we are not in for a good time though.
> : >
> : >
> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
> : next day.
>
> : i didn't define elderly
> : he's 102 and she's 97
>
> : kate
>
> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5 das
> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your mother
> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
> computer.

Not that I know of but I am pretty sure neither of them would eat that sort
of thing. They are both really picky eaters and they don't like to eat at
home. There is a Greek place and an Italian place that deliver. They do
get food from them once in a while. But they are not cheap and not really
what they should be eating. Too many carbs.

On 9/4/2011 6:22 PM, W. Baker wrote:
> Tiger > wrote:

> : The is an elderly couple who take a taxi to/from the restaurant every
> : day for their dinner. Dinner is 4:30 pm for them and they take home 1/2
> : the senior's portion they just ate. The lady indicates that a soft
> : boiled egg, toast and coffee is their morning meal; the left overs are
> : their mid day meal; dinner ensures they have at least lunch at home the
> : next day.
>
> : i didn't define elderly
> : he's 102 and she's 97
>
> : kate
>
> Do they have a senior feeding program either like senior lunches for a
> small fee or meals on wheels whic bring a prepared meal to the house 5 das
> a week? The other meals woul only entail light shopping that your mother
> could learn to do or that one of you could send over or oder from the
> computer.
>
> Wendy

Wendy, Meals on Wheels provides this service to the elderly. I don't
know about the remote area that Julie's parents live in. I know some
restaurants make your choice from 10 items, prepared in advance, frozen
and you only need to reheat them. These would be more upscale meals and
typically are a touch more appealing than the meals on wheels options.

kate