SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
Stephanie was the only one she could make attend. SLop decides she had
such a great time they're going to spend the day in their "cute" PJs, which SLop
shows us. PJs with "chicks rule" and "peas on earth" are so juvenile. SLop forgets
her faux niece's name and calls her Sandy, then starts making out with her as
we go to opening credits.

SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to cut
bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and then
slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you don't
want them in your hash. They're not what I would consider "hot 'n' spicy" by a
long shot, idiot.

She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use chicken
too) and a packet of meat marinade, but it's actually taco seasoning. She then
takes the sliced corned beef and cubes it. She likes corned beef because it is
marinaded, then salted and sugared. She then shows us how to cube it by cutting
it, then turning it 90 degrees and cutting it again. Brilliant!

As the hash cooks, she tells us her secret to poaching eggs; adding white wine
vinegar to the water keeps them from spreading. Hmm, that's a lot of vinegar.
Won't that add a weird taste to them? It's a Moot Point™, however, because she
puts some biscuit cutters into the pan and then puts an egg into each. She
plates the hash and makes some depressions for the eggs. She retrieves the eggs
with a slotted spoon and nestles them into the hash. We go to commercial and
what the hell was that in those blue coffee mugs in the glamor shot?

As we return from commercial, SLop tells us she has to make something delicious
because they're going to be sitting around in their PJs all day. She crushes a
bag of already-crushed corn bran cereal with a rolling pin and puts it into a
pie pan. She then grabs an egg and buttermilk from the fridge and puts them
into another pan. For good measure she adds the leftover taco mix into a bag
with flour, admonishing us to thoroughly mix them together so we get an even
coating on the chicken. She then tells us the chicken strips should really stay
in the fridge until needed anyway and that she likes how they come in whatever
size she wants. Amazing! SLop confides that MS thinks chicken strips are fun to
eat. Where is she, anyway? She puts the strips into the egg mixture, then puts
the strips into the bag of flour mixture and shakes it until coated. She then
puts them back into the egg mixture (yikes!) then into the cereal before frying
them in the oil. Slop washes off her tongs (but not hands) to keep everything
really clean and healthy.

SLop puts some tater tots onto a baking sheet with some Misses Dash so
that her nieces and nephews eat less ketchup, whatever THAT means. SLop
plates the chicken onto a serving plate covered with blue paper towels. As
we goto commercial, she bites into one and tells us about her tangy assy
dipping sauces.

SLop blames MS's mom for the cheesy potato recipe which she claims taste like
twice-baked potatoes and tells us you can use whatever type of frozen potato
product you wish. She puts the 'tots into a casserole and tops it with
pre-shredded cheese, crumbles bacon on top, and tells us how the cheese and
bacon juice will bake into it and mix throughout. Well, it would if you had
mixed it INTO the 'tots instead of putting it on top. SLop returns the
casserole to the baking sheet but lines it with foil so the bottom doesn't get
mucked up.

She makes some dipping sauce by mixing 4 parts ketchup, 2 parts honey, and
a dash of Worcestershire sauce in a large bowl, then pours it into a ramican.
She also makes a honey mustard sauce in another large bowl and then pours
it into a ramican. Why didnt she just put into them in the first place?

She pulls out the potatoes and sprinkles them with sour cream and green onion.
She then plates some for herself because she claims MS eats them all before she
can get any. She tells us about a game MS invented (newsflash: it's called
"backgammon"), pops a big piece of those fresh-from-the-oven-potatoes into her
mouth, and then makes a quick exit, stage left. Third degree burns are a bitch,
bitch!

SLop tells us that presentation is important, which is why she got some ugly
flower shaped dishes for the lemon ice from her mass merchandiser. Does this
mean I can't make this without them? She mixes a can of frozen lemon aid and
some lemon jello in blender (too much will make it too strong!), then adds ice
and sugar before mixing it. While the blender is running she takes the lid off
and takes a peek. I would have loved to her get a face full of lemon ice right
then!

We return to the room MS was imprisoned just in time to see SLop give her a
lemon ice. MS gives a feeble "Yay!" and then, at SLop's prompting, offers her
tip; a candy backgammon board. MS looks like she's been heavily sedated, or
maybe SLop slipped her one of her cocktails by mistake. As MS explains how to
make the board, the background music suddenly cuts out for a sec. SLop prompts
MS if she can eat the green and yellow candies she uses for playing pieces when
finished, to which MS weakly replies "If you like". SLop gives her closing line
when we suddenly see a close up of MS's hand grabbing what looks like a small
metal can of mace that was hidden behind her with an almost pyschotic-sounding
"I got a surprise for you!" voice over, followed by a spraying noise and SLop
screaming. OMG! MS has gone psycho! Alas, we cut to a medium shot of MS
spraying her "aunt" with silly string. Oh well.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

Every time I see MS on her show I want to call the child abuse hotline

terri wrote:

> Every time I see MS on her show I want to call the child abuse hotline
>

Martha Stewart?

Poor SLop.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sandra_Lee_(author) (Why no SLop acronym on
her very own Wikipedia entry?)

Taylor wrote:
> terri wrote:
>
> > Every time I see MS on her show I want to call the child abuse hotline
> >
>
> Martha Stewart?
>
> Poor SLop.

No, it's "Miss Stephanie."

N.

Ubiquitous wrote:

[snip]

This stuff seems par for the course for r.f.cooking.

--Bryan

Food Snob wrote:

> Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> This stuff seems par for the course for r.f.cooking.
>
> --Bryan
>

Don't let the door hit you, as they say.

--
Reg

Food Snob wrote:
> Ubiquitous wrote:
>
> [snip]
>
> This stuff seems par for the course for r.f.cooking.
>
> --Bryan

Actually, Ubiquitous' posts are usually MUCH BETTER than the normal
fare. They crack me up

Nancy2 wrote:

> Taylor wrote:
>
>>terri wrote:
>>
>>
>>>Every time I see MS on her show I want to call the child abuse hotline
>>>
>>
>>Martha Stewart?
>>
>>Poor SLop.
>
>
> No, it's "Miss Stephanie."
>
> N.
>

That's a new one to me. Too many 50%-loved/50%-hated Food Network stars
to keep track of.

SLop for First Lady in 2008???

Goomba38 wrote:

> Food Snob wrote:
>
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>
>> [snip]
>>
>> This stuff seems par for the course for r.f.cooking.
>>
>> --Bryan
>
>
> Actually, Ubiquitous' posts are usually MUCH BETTER than the normal
> fare. They crack me up

Aw, then why snip it and deny me the joy? :-D

wrote:

>Every time I see MS on her show I want to call the child abuse hotline

Did you catch what she did with poor Brycer?
He must be the singular most beat-up kid in the world now.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.

wrote:

>That's a new one to me. Too many 50%-loved/50%-hated Food Network stars
>to keep track of.

Wait until you see her new (faux?) relatives in the new eps.

I LOVE YOU DANIELLE!!!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing
in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no
liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or
being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew
up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
wrote:
>
>Food Snob wrote:
>> Ubiquitous wrote:
>>
>> [snip]
>>
>> This stuff seems par for the course for r.f.cooking.
>>
>> --Bryan
>
>Actually, Ubiquitous' posts are usually MUCH BETTER than the normal
>fare. They crack me up

Aw, shucks!

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss
Lee.