SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
Stephanie was the only one she could make attend. SLop decides she had such a
great time they're going to spend the day in their "cute" PJs, which SLop shows
us. PJs with "chicks rule" and "peas on earth" are so juvenile. SLop forgets
her faux niece's name and calls her Sandy, then starts making out with her as
we go to opening credits.

SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to cut
bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and then
slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you don't
want them in your hash. They're not what I would consider "hot 'n' spicy" by a
long shot, idiot.

She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use chicken
too) and a packet of meat marinade, but it's actually taco seasoning. She then
takes the sliced corned beef and cubes it. She likes corned beef because it is
marinaded, then salted and sugared. She then shows us how to cube it by cutting
it, then turning it 90 degrees and cutting it again. Brilliant!

As the hash cooks, she tells us her secret to poaching eggs; adding white wine
vinegar to the water keeps them from spreading. Hmm, that's a lot of vinegar.
Won't that add a weird taste to them? It's a Moot Point™, however, because she
puts some biscuit cutters into the pan and then puts an egg into each. She
plates the hash and makes some depressions for the eggs. She retrieves the eggs
with a slotted spoon and nestles them into the hash. We go to commercial and
what the hell was that in those blue coffee mugs in the glamor shot?

As we return from commercial, SLop tells us she has to make something delicious
because they're going to be sitting around in their PJs all day. She crushes a
bag of already-crushed corn bran cereal with a rolling pin and puts it into a
pie pan. She then grabs an egg and buttermilk from the fridge and puts them
into another pan. For good measure she adds the leftover taco mix into a bag
with flour, admonishing us to thoroughly mix them together so we get an even
coating on the chicken. She then tells us the chicken strips should really stay
in the fridge until needed anyway and that she likes how they come in whatever
size she wants. Amazing! SLop confides that MS thinks chicken strips are fun to
eat. Where is she, anyway? She puts the strips into the egg mixture, then puts
the strips into the bag of flour mixture and shakes it until coated. She then
puts them back into the egg mixture (yikes!) then into the cereal before frying
them in the oil. Slop washes off her tongs (but not hands) to keep everything
really clean and healthy.

SLop puts some tater tots onto a baking sheet with some Misses Dash so that her
nieces and nephews eat less ketchup, whatever THAT means. SLop plates the
chicken onto a serving plate covered with blue paper towels. As we goto
commercial, she bites into one and tells us about her tangy assy dipping
sauces.

SLop blames MS's mom for the cheesy potato recipe which she claims taste like
twice-baked potatoes and tells us you can use whatever type of frozen potato
product you wish. She puts the 'tots into a casserole and tops it with
pre-shredded cheese, crumbles bacon on top, and tells us how the cheese and
bacon juice will bake into it and mix throughout. Well, it would if you had
mixed it INTO the 'tots instead of putting it on top. SLop returns the
casserole to the baking sheet but lines it with foil so the bottom doesn't get
mucked up.

She makes some dipping sauce by mixing 4 parts ketchup, 2 parts honey, and dash
of Worcestershire sauce in a large bowl, then pours it into a ramican. She also
makes a honey mustard sauce in another large bowl and then pours it into a
ramican. Why didnt she just put into them in the first place?

She pulls out the potatoes and sprinkles them with sour cream and green onion.
She then plates some for herself because she claims MS eats them all before she
can get any. She tells us about a game MS invented (newsflash: it's called
"backgammon"), pops a big piece of those fresh-from-the-oven-potatoes into her
mouth, and then makes a quick exit, stage left. Third degree burns are a bitch,
bitch!

SLop tells us that presentation is important, which is why she got some ugly
flower shaped dishes for the lemon ice from her mass merchandiser. Does this
mean I can't make this without them? She mixes a can of frozen lemon aid and
some lemon jello in blender (too much will make it too strong!), then adds ice
and sugar before mixing it. While the blender is running she takes the lid off
and takes a peek. I would have loved to her get a face full of lemon ice right
then!

We return to the room MS was imprisoned just in time to see SLop give her a
lemon ice. MS gives a feeble "Yay!" and then, at SLop's prompting, offers her
tip; a candy backgammon board. MS looks like she's been heavily sedated, or
maybe SLop slipped her one of her cocktails by mistake. As MS explains how to
make the board, the background music suddenly cuts out for a sec. SLop prompts
MS if she can eat the green and yellow candies she uses for playing pieces when
finished, to which MS weakly replies "If you like". SLop gives her closing line
when we suddenly see a close up of MS's hand grabbing what looks like a small
metal can of mace that was hidden behind her with an almost pyschotic-sounding
"I got a surprise for you!" voice over, followed by a spraying noise and SLop
screaming. OMG! MS has gone psycho! Alas, we cut to a medium shot of MS
spraying her "aunt" with silly string. Oh well.

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.

In article >,
(Ubiquitous) wrote:


I watched this show tonight (OK, last night, it's now morning). I
really enjoyed it. I don't watch tv, but my daughter really likes
FoodTV, so I watch with her. I like my daughter. We spent most of the
show exchanging jabs about how really bad this show was.


> SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
> Stephanie was the only one she could make attend. SLop decides she had such a
> great time they're going to spend the day in their "cute" PJs, which SLop
> shows
> us. PJs with "chicks rule" and "peas on earth" are so juvenile. SLop forgets
> her faux niece's name and calls her Sandy, then starts making out with her as
> we go to opening credits.


I kind of liked the pajamas. They were the best visuals on the show. I
especially liked the bouncing boobs. Do you think she does that on
purpose? Is the pope Catholic?


> SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to cut
> bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and then
> slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you

My daughter and I just stared at each other.


> She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use chicken


I couldn't believe the can. Looked like Stephanie/Sandy wrapped it in
paper. I guess the company wouldn't pay SL enough money to push it.


> takes the sliced corned beef and cubes it. She likes corned beef because it
> is
> marinaded, then salted and sugared. She then shows us how to cube it by
> cutting
> it, then turning it 90 degrees and cutting it again. Brilliant!


> bag of already-crushed corn bran cereal with a rolling pin and puts it into a
> pie pan. She then grabs an egg and buttermilk from the fridge and puts them
> into another pan. For good measure she adds the leftover taco mix into a bag
> with flour, admonishing us to thoroughly mix them together so we get an even
> coating on the chicken. She then tells us the chicken strips should really
> stay
> in the fridge until needed anyway and that she likes how they come in
> whatever
> size she wants. Amazing! SLop confides that MS thinks chicken strips are fun
> to
> eat. Where is she, anyway? She puts the strips into the egg mixture, then
> puts
> the strips into the bag of flour mixture and shakes it until coated. She then
>
> puts them back into the egg mixture (yikes!) then into the cereal before
> frying
> them in the oil. Slop washes off her tongs (but not hands) to keep everything
> really clean and healthy.


I seem to remember her washing her hands also. Nasty chicken. She
reminds us that if she was going to use the cutting board for something
else, it would need to be washed also.




You forgot to mention the frozen grated hash browns in the hash. How
can you fix breakfast without two kinds of frozen potatoes?


> SLop blames MS's mom for the cheesy potato recipe which she claims taste like
> twice-baked potatoes and tells us you can use whatever type of frozen potato
> product you wish. She puts the 'tots into a casserole and tops it with
> pre-shredded cheese, crumbles bacon on top, and tells us how the cheese and
> bacon juice will bake into it and mix throughout. Well, it would if you had
> mixed it INTO the 'tots instead of putting it on top. SLop returns the
> casserole to the baking sheet but lines it with foil so the bottom doesn't
> get
> mucked up.
>
> She makes some dipping sauce by mixing 4 parts ketchup, 2 parts honey, and
> dash
> of Worcestershire sauce in a large bowl, then pours it into a ramican. She
> also
> makes a honey mustard sauce in another large bowl and then pours it into a
> ramican. Why didnt she just put into them in the first place?


I wondered about this also. You forgot the part about how you should
always give children a choice. "Here honey, would you like some honey
or some honey?". The ketchup dish is spicy. I ask my daughter what
that means? She explains that it is the Worcestershire sauce. OK.



I missed the rest of the show, I have no memory of why.

After that we watched Rachel Ray. There was lots of bouncing there
also. She put Worcestershire sauce in most of her food.

--
Dan Abel

Petaluma, California, USA

Ubiquitous wrote:
> SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
> Stephanie was the only one she could make attend.
>
> SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to cut
> bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and then
> slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you don't
> want them in your hash.
>
> She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use chicken
> too) and a packet of meat marinade, but it's actually taco seasoning.


Did you notice our faux Julia Child with boobs added only two
tablespoons of the canned beef broth to that whole mixture?? And, I
kid you not, TWO drops of worcestershire sauce to this mess. I
seriously doubt those two teeny drops and two tablespoons of beef broth
made a difference at all to the taste of this er, um, ah, creation.

"itsjoannotjoann" > wrote in message
oups.com...
>
> Ubiquitous wrote:
>> SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
>> Stephanie was the only one she could make attend.
>>
>> SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to
>> cut
>> bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and
>> then
>> slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you
>> don't
>> want them in your hash.
>>
>> She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use
>> chicken
>> too) and a packet of meat marinade, but it's actually taco seasoning.
>
>
> Did you notice our faux Julia Child with boobs added only two
> tablespoons of the canned beef broth to that whole mixture?? And, I
> kid you not, TWO drops of worcestershire sauce to this mess. I
> seriously doubt those two teeny drops and two tablespoons of beef broth
> made a difference at all to the taste of this er, um, ah, creation.
>

Woo Hoo, sooooo funny, stop your killing me, woooo hooo I can't
breathe!!!!!woooo hoooo

In article >,
wrote:

>SLop puts some tater tots onto a baking sheet with some Misses Dash so that
>her nieces and nephews eat less ketchup, whatever THAT means.
>
>She makes some dipping sauce by mixing 4 parts ketchup, 2 parts honey, and
>dash of Worcestershire sauce in a large bowl, then pours it into a ramican.

I love that she was so worried about the kids eating ketchup then immediately
afterwards takes the chicken fingers out of the frying oil, then proceeds to
make a dip for them made of ketchup!

"Travis Rubin" > wrote in message
news:0005$01d90ce2$0dc878e7@JRs_Toy...
>
> I love that she was so worried about the kids eating ketchup
> then immediately
> afterwards takes the chicken fingers out of the frying oil,
> then proceeds to
> make a dip for them made of ketchup!
>
>
I saw a show yesterday where she told us that her shrimp were
"deshelled and deveined." I thought that was just the cutest
little comment (he said facetiously).

--
barry in indy

Well, Ronald Reagan said ketchup was a vegetable, and you know how she feels
about veggies!
In article <0005$01d90ce2$0dc878e7@JRs_Toy>, wrote:
>
>I love that she was so worried about the kids eating ketchup then immediately
>afterwards takes the chicken fingers out of the frying oil, then proceeds to
>make a dip for them made of ketchup!

I don't mind a tater tot now and then, and I might eat this if it were set in
front of me (and if the bacon "juice" had been properly drained.) It basically
consists of standard toppings for a baked potato, so there's no reason it
woudn't be edible on fried potatoes. However, aside from the structural issues,
it's really assembling rather than cooking. I really don't need some
over-payed, saggy-boobed bimbo to tell me how to spoon sour cream onto
potatoes.
In article <0005$01d90ce2$0dc878e7@JRs_Toy>, wrote:
>
>In article >,
>wrote:
>
>>SLop puts some tater tots onto a baking sheet with some Misses Dash so that
>>her nieces and nephews eat less ketchup, whatever THAT means.
>>
>>She makes some dipping sauce by mixing 4 parts ketchup, 2 parts honey, and
>>dash of Worcestershire sauce in a large bowl, then pours it into a ramican.
>
>I love that she was so worried about the kids eating ketchup then immediately
>afterwards takes the chicken fingers out of the frying oil, then proceeds to
>make a dip for them made of ketchup!

wrote:
>Ubiquitous wrote:

>> SLop tells us that she just had a slumber party, but apparently poor Miss
>> Stephanie was the only one she could make attend.
>>
>> SLop heats some oil to saute some onions and tells us about a new way to cut
>> bell peppers; she cuts the top and bottom off, places it upright, and then
>> slices the sides off. She claims the seeds are pretty hot n spicy so you
>> don't want them in your hash.
>>
>> She then adds a disguised can of beef broth to the pan (you can use chicken
>> too) and a packet of meat marinade, but it's actually taco seasoning.
>
>Did you notice our faux Julia Child with boobs added only two
>tablespoons of the canned beef broth to that whole mixture?? And, I
>kid you not, TWO drops of worcestershire sauce to this mess. I
>seriously doubt those two teeny drops and two tablespoons of beef broth
>made a difference at all to the taste of this er, um, ah, creation.

I think that's the LEAST of WalMartha Stewart's problems. :-D

--
WARNING!!!
Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We
assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the
"food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure
where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee.