IDIOT SIGHTING:

I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.

I said "May I have large bills, please?"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."

When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and
found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched
from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'

His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired.

The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
'large' enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that
time, a 1/2 horsepower.

He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that
1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the
clerk a $5 bill.

Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.

She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you
can just give me a dollar bill back.'

She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.

I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could
not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at MickeyD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi-rural area.

We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office

to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!

I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.

She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' (of course, I
wouldn¹t have left myself open by using the word ³minimal² at Taco Bell)

He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,

'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'

To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham, AL

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.

I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if
I knew what

the buzzer was for.

I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'

She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company
due to 'downsizing,'

our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'

Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself.

And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn
on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

How would you pronounce this child's name?

"Le-a"

Leah?? NO

Lee - A?? NOPE

Lay - a?? NO

Lei?? Guess Again

This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.

Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.

It's pronounced "Ledasha".

When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the
dash don't be silent."

SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to
pronounce the dash.

If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us....... and they VOTE!

Some of that just could be true. We have friends who live in New Mexico and
they have one heck of a time with some clerks when trying to make
reservations or buy tickets; are often switched to the foreign service desk.
Polly

On 24/07/2012 5:17 PM, Polly Esther wrote:
> Some of that just could be true. We have friends who live in New Mexico
> and they have one heck of a time with some clerks when trying to make
> reservations or buy tickets; are often switched to the foreign service
> desk. Polly
>
>


My SiL manages a women's clothing store and has a sales girl that is
hopelessly stupid. She would fire her but feels sorry for her. The
girl offered someone 100% off on a purchase and SiL had to step in and
explain to here that 100% meant it was free. She was left in charge
when SIL took a few days off she had to leave her in charge. She told
SIL the they did great while she was away but a review of the numbers
showed that sales were down $5,000 from the same week the year before.
She could not get it through to the girl that $5,000 lower slaes is
worse, not better.

Dave Smith wrote:
>
> On 24/07/2012 5:17 PM, Polly Esther wrote:
> > Some of that just could be true. We have friends who live in New Mexico
> > and they have one heck of a time with some clerks when trying to make
> > reservations or buy tickets; are often switched to the foreign service
> > desk. Polly
> >
> >
>
> My SiL manages a women's clothing store and has a sales girl that is
> hopelessly stupid. She would fire her but feels sorry for her. The
> girl offered someone 100% off on a purchase and SiL had to step in and
> explain to here that 100% meant it was free. She was left in charge
> when SIL took a few days off she had to leave her in charge. She told
> SIL the they did great while she was away but a review of the numbers
> showed that sales were down $5,000 from the same week the year before.
> She could not get it through to the girl that $5,000 lower slaes is
> worse, not better.

At a McDonald's in Arkansas the manager had to explain to the person
working the register that cheese was standard equipment on a Quarter
Pounder with Cheese (tm) and that they didn't have to press the cheese
button.

At a different McDonald's also in Arkansas on another trip just before
putting the burger in the bag the burger assembler realized they forgot
to put the cheese on it and had to disassemble it to add the cheese.

On 7/24/2012 11:58 AM, Pete C. wrote:
>> At a McDonald's in Arkansas the manager had to explain to the person
> working the register that cheese was standard equipment on a Quarter
> Pounder with Cheese (tm) and that they didn't have to press the cheese
> button.

Maybe the guy wanted a cheeseburger deluxe with a side order of cheese:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iz3rubGrGZQ

>
> At a different McDonald's also in Arkansas on another trip just before
> putting the burger in the bag the burger assembler realized they forgot
> to put the cheese on it and had to disassemble it to add the cheese.
>

Pete C. wrote:
>
> At a McDonald's in Arkansas the manager had to explain to the person
> working the register that cheese was standard equipment on a Quarter
> Pounder with Cheese (tm) and that they didn't have to press the cheese
> button.
>
> At a different McDonald's also in Arkansas on another trip just before
> putting the burger in the bag the burger assembler realized they forgot
> to put the cheese on it and had to disassemble it to add the cheese.

On a business trip to Arkansas we went to a Subway for lunch. Being
wheat intolerant I went with my usual. For years on their menu it had
said "Any six inch sub as a salad $1 extra". When asked what bread I
wanted I answered "As a salad please". Blank stare. "Like it says on
the menu behind you 'Any six inch sub as a salad $1 extra' . That's how
I would like it please." Blank stare. The manager approaches. Same
scenario. They both looked at the menu. I pointed and read it to them
again. Amazed looks. Clearly neither had ever actually read the menu
before.

I told them where in the counter they could find the containers that
are to be used for the "as a salad" option. Then I walked them through
making it step by step. Not rocket science, the only step any different
than a regular sandwich was the bread option.

Then I arrived at the cashier. Almost the entire story repeated itself
through one cycle. Before the second cycle the manager moved in and
punched the "Whole wheat" option for what bread I requested. I was not
charged the extra dollar. So on my receipt it said I got a six inch sub
on whole wheat.

The whole time several colleagues were watching and not laughing. They
resisted laughing until we all got in the car and had the engine
started.

Sometimes real life is more bizzare than fiction.

"Doug Freyburger" > wrote in message
...
> Pete C. wrote:
>>
>> At a McDonald's in Arkansas the manager had to explain to the person
>> working the register that cheese was standard equipment on a Quarter
>> Pounder with Cheese (tm) and that they didn't have to press the cheese
>> button.
>>
>> At a different McDonald's also in Arkansas on another trip just before
>> putting the burger in the bag the burger assembler realized they forgot
>> to put the cheese on it and had to disassemble it to add the cheese.
>
> On a business trip to Arkansas we went to a Subway for lunch. Being
> wheat intolerant I went with my usual. For years on their menu it had
> said "Any six inch sub as a salad $1 extra". When asked what bread I
> wanted I answered "As a salad please". Blank stare. "Like it says on
> the menu behind you 'Any six inch sub as a salad $1 extra' . That's how
> I would like it please." Blank stare. The manager approaches. Same
> scenario. They both looked at the menu. I pointed and read it to them
> again. Amazed looks. Clearly neither had ever actually read the menu
> before.
>
> I told them where in the counter they could find the containers that
> are to be used for the "as a salad" option. Then I walked them through
> making it step by step. Not rocket science, the only step any different
> than a regular sandwich was the bread option.
>
> Then I arrived at the cashier. Almost the entire story repeated itself
> through one cycle. Before the second cycle the manager moved in and
> punched the "Whole wheat" option for what bread I requested. I was not
> charged the extra dollar. So on my receipt it said I got a six inch sub
> on whole wheat.
>
> The whole time several colleagues were watching and not laughing. They
> resisted laughing until we all got in the car and had the engine
> started.

Used to go through that at Burger King when ordering a burger with no bun.
It shouldn't be too hard to leave the bun off, but for some reason it was.
Haven't been there for awhile so dunno if they've figured it out or not. I
know "In and Out Burger" always had the option.

Cheri

On 2012-07-24 21:30:30 +0000, Dave Smith said:

Of course I don't believe any of the original post despite "a girl I
work with" and "a guy at the local store" and that kind of decoration.
I liked it better when George and Gracie shaped this into a complete
bit that didn't focus on how in general everybody else is stupid, the
decline of intelligence in the USA's death throes, et al.

I was wondering when it would go political and wasn't surprised by the
last line. The propaganda meme: We should be limiting voting to the
"right people", the "smart people" and of course many are successfully
changing laws to accomplish just that.

But hey--[someone] was only kidding, can't you take a joke?

> My SiL manages a women's clothing store and has a sales girl that is
> hopelessly stupid. She would fire her but feels sorry for her. The
> girl offered someone 100% off on a purchase and SiL had to step in and
> explain to here that 100% meant it was free.

I think this comes from having heard so much about people giving it
110%. I remember when Michael Jackson was (last) tried for sexual
activity with children. As the story broke one Jackson after another
said they stood by him, first at 100%, then 200%, then a thousand
percent. I believe the final one was Jermaine and he was behind
Michael a million percent. It was clearly a bidding war.

> She was left in charge when SIL took a few days off she had to leave
> her in charge. She told SIL the they did great while she was away but
> a review of the numbers showed that sales were down $5,000 from the
> same week the year before. She could not get it through to the girl
> that $5,000 lower slaes is worse, not better.

I'm glad your SiL doesn't run a medical clinic.
--
-- Beware the delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlets.

On Jul 24, 2:17*pm, "Polly Esther" > wrote:
> Some of that just could be true. *We have friends who live in New Mexico and
> they have one heck of a time with some clerks when trying to make
> reservations or buy tickets; are often switched to the foreign service desk.
> Polly

When I went to beauty school in the 80's, I had a classmate that
should be on the list. We were all sitting around the table at
lunchtime chatting. There was a lovely lady name Jill who also
attended- she was also a nurse and helped deliver my first son a few
years later, and she was from London. The blonde (we'll call her
Colleen) says, "So Jill, what language do you speak in London?"
Jill says "We speak English, but it's the Queen's English"
Colleen: "Wow, so what do they speak in France?"
Jill: "Well, French". Poor Jill, she was trying to keep a straight
face, as were the rest of us!
Colleen: "Wow!"
Colleen had just graduated from high school...

This happened to me:

Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just bought
ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely out. So
I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I went to
another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can I help
ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers. She got a
strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I could have
said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her think I am
looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.

Paul

On Jul 24, 3:18*pm, "Paul M. Cook" > wrote:
> This happened to me:
>
> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. *I always just bought
> ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. *This year they were completely out. *So
> I was in a jam and went to a local market. *They had none. *So I went to
> another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
> worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can I help
> ya find anything" and I said I am looking for *ladyfingers. *She got a
> strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. *I could have
> said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her think I am
> looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
>

In Malaysia, ladyfingers are okra.

"Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
...
> This happened to me:
>
> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just
> bought ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely
> out. So I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I
> went to another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young
> lass of a worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes
> "can I help ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers.
> She got a strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I
> could have said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her
> think I am looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
>
> Paul

There are also firecrackers called Ladyfingers.

In article >, "Julie Bove" >
wrote:

> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
> ...
> > This happened to me:
> >
> > Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just
> > bought ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely
> > out. So I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I
> > went to another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young
> > lass of a worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes
> > "can I help ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers.
> > She got a strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I
> > could have said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her
> > think I am looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
> >
> > Paul
>
> There are also firecrackers called Ladyfingers.

selling those would definitely increase traffic at TJ's

On 25/07/2012 3:00 AM, Malcom "Mal" Reynolds wrote:
> In article >, "Julie Bove" >
> wrote:
>
>> "Paul M. Cook" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> This happened to me:
>>>
>>> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just
>>> bought ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely
>>> out. So I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I
>>> went to another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young
>>> lass of a worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes
>>> "can I help ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers.
>>> She got a strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I
>>> could have said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her
>>> think I am looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
>>>
>>> Paul
>>
>> There are also firecrackers called Ladyfingers.
>
> selling those would definitely increase traffic at TJ's
>




Hence the subject line ;-)

On 7/24/2012 6:18 PM, Paul M. Cook wrote:
> This happened to me:
>
> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just bought
> ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely out. So
> I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I went to
> another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
> worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can I help
> ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers. She got a
> strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I could have
> said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her think I am
> looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.

Too funny.

One year we went out to dinner on my birthday and decided to order
after dinner drinks. The waitress told the bartender She already
had dinner, now she wants kielbasi! The bartender laughed and
poured my Courvoisier.

nancy

On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 6:18:17 PM UTC-4, Paul M. Cook wrote:
> This happened to me:
>
> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just bought
> ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely out. So
> I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I went to
> another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
> worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can I help
> ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers. She got a
> strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I could have
> said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her think I am
> looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
>
> Paul

You really don't have to make things up in every post.

> wrote in message
...
> On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 6:18:17 PM UTC-4, Paul M. Cook wrote:
>> This happened to me:
>>
>> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just
>> bought
>> ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely out.
>> So
>> I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I went to
>> another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
>> worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can
>> I help
>> ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers. She got
>> a
>> strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I could have
>> said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her
>> think I am
>> looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
>>
>> Paul
>
> You really don't have to make things up in every post.

No really, TJs was out of them. First time ever.

Paul

On Wednesday, July 25, 2012 4:37:56 PM UTC-4, Paul M. Cook wrote:
> > wrote in message
> ...
> > On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 6:18:17 PM UTC-4, Paul M. Cook wrote:
> >> This happened to me:
> >>
> >> Around Christmas of 06 I was going to make a tiramisu. I always just
> >> bought
> >> ladyfinger cookies at Trader Joes. This year they were completely out.
> >> So
> >> I was in a jam and went to a local market. They had none. So I went to
> >> another market and while strolling the cookie aisle this young lass of a
> >> worker was walking towards me and in her valley girl voice goes "can
> >> I help
> >> ya find anything" and I said I am looking for ladyfingers. She got
> >> a
> >> strange, almost fearful look on her face and breezed by me. I could have
> >> said "cookies, they are cookies" but I figured no, let her
> >> think I am
> >> looking for women's fingers to gnaw on.
> >>
> >> Paul
> >
> > You really don't have to make things up in every post.
>
> No really, TJs was out of them. First time ever.
>
> Paul

Yeah, that's pretty much the type of response I've come to expect from you. Cumstain.

On Tuesday, July 24, 2012 3:10:23 PM UTC-4, Malcom Mal Reynolds wrote:
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> I handed the teller @ my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00.
>
> I said "May I have large bills, please?"
>
> She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
>
> When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we
> were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and
> found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched
> from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered
> that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!'
>
> His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'
>
> This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> We had to have the garage door repaired.
>
> The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a
> 'large' enough motor on the opener.
>
> I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that
> time, a 1/2 horsepower.
>
> He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that
> 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
>
> He said, 'NO, it's not. Four is larger than two.'
>
> We haven't used Sears repair since.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the
> clerk a $5 bill.
>
> Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
>
> She said, 'You gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes, I know, but this way you
> can just give me a dollar bill back.'
>
> She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request..
>
> I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could
> not do that kind of thing.'
>
> The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.
>
> Do not confuse the clerks at MickeyD's.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> I live in a semi-rural area.
>
> We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
>
> to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
>
> The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
>
> I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
>
> My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
>
> She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' (of course, I
> wouldn¹t have left myself open by using the word ³minimal² at Taco Bell)
>
> He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
>
> From Kansas City
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
>
> 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
>
> To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
>
> He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
>
> Happened in Birmingham, AL
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street..
>
> I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine. She asked if
> I knew what
>
> the buzzer was for.
>
> I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
>
> Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?'
>
> She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company
> due to 'downsizing,'
>
> our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
>
> Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that
> deer-in-the-headlights stare.
>
> This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself.
>
> And for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn
> on.
>
> A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.
>
> IDIOT SIGHTING:
>
> How would you pronounce this child's name?
>
> "Le-a"
>
> Leah?? NO
>
> Lee - A?? NOPE
>
> Lay - a?? NO
>
> Lei?? Guess Again
>
> This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo.
>
> Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.
>
> It's pronounced "Ledasha".
>
> When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the
> dash don't be silent."
>
> SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to
> pronounce the dash.
>
> If dey axe you why, tell dem de dash don't be silent.
>
> STAY ALERT!
>
> They walk among us....... and they VOTE!

Just watch Wheel of Fortune a few times and see how many can't get the word when NO other word will 'fit'. Talk about crummy spellers. Also, common expressions seem to be losing their exposure. I wonder if they'd spot, "Like, I mean ya know"

I'll never forget the TEACHER who called him Donald Rucksfeld.

Seen with my own eyes on a refrigerator door,(note from Dad to the kid)
"In joy you day."