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General Cooking (rec.food.cooking) For general food and cooking discussion. Foods of all kinds, food procurement, cooking methods and techniques, eating, etc. |
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Posted to rec.arts.tv,alt.tv.food-network,rec.food.cooking
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Wow, another washed-out episode! Anyhow, SLop tells us how wonderful the
Riviera is and threatens us with recipes ripped off from the famous "Frunch" Riviera restaurants she ate at there. I smell a lawsuit! While making the tuna steaks, SLop totally screws up one while cutting a pocket in it. They obviously discarded it because we only see three on table yet she continues to talk like there are four. Suddenly, there are four on the "covered cookie sheet"! SLop "marinades" the tuna steaks in a plastic bag filled with the contents of a bottle of Italian dressing. You can't get much more Fremnch than that! After all this monkey business with the tuna, SLop has a "Me washie handsies! Me washie handsies!' moment. Naturally, she does this sans soap and after she's touched several things and her sleeves and tassels have been dragged through the tuna several times. SLop talks about how French cooking is all about flavour, not soaking and saturating food. Heh. Actually, I thought I saw on Good Eats that French cooking was pretty sauce-intensive because it was invented to conceal food that was going bad. It certainly seems appropriate to me. SLop retrieves the tuna from the fridge, claiming that it "basked" and "bathed" in the marinade! SLop makes her salad with store-bought hard boiled eggs (good call!). Aiiiee! She's using canned potatoes! Anyhow, SLop tells us "These are nice and crunchy. They're already cooked" while opening a can and draining the liquid. Holy crap! The liquid from that can was blue! Next she adds some thawed frozen green beans. On a salad? Why not use fresh ones? Lastly, SLop puts the tuna on the salad. Isn't stuffing and marinating the tuna over-doing it? Apparently SLop forgot what she told us about French cooking a few minutes ago. When SLop starts working on the truffles, I notice a vodka bottle on counter. Oh, goodie! A lame pop-up graphic indicates that what she does next is to be blamed on a Fandra. SLop whips out a fake letter and reads "When making pudding, add the liquid from canned fruit to it." Yuck. I think I've tasted pudding made that way in Elementary school. She soaks some coconut macaroons in vodka. I find it hard to believe people use those for trifle! She serves the trifle in plastic martini glasses. Go figure! As she tops them with the canned fruit, you can tell she didn't drain the cans of fruit cocktail entirely. When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching two bottles of booze and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. What did she call her mocktail, a "Sandra-pay"? SLop tells us "If you're in the south of France, you can get away eating desserts 24/7...or drinking cocktails 24/7". Now I see why she is so fond of France, the "city of lights". SLop threatens to dress up for a beach party and proclaims she needs a second drink. This week's tablerape has a beach theme. SLop set several little doll houses on the table and set a tray on them with the food perched on top. Once again, she overcrowds the table, but hey, that means less of her concoctions, right? -- WARNING!!! Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget, standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!! We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no, we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any knowlege of Miss Lee. |
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