"Ubiquitous" > wrote in message
...
> Wow, another washed-out episode! Anyhow, SLop tells us how wonderful the
> Riviera is and threatens us with recipes ripped off from the famous
> "Frunch" Riviera restaurants she ate at there. I smell a lawsuit!
>
> While making the tuna steaks, SLop totally screws up one while cutting a
> pocket in it. They obviously discarded it because we only see three on
> table yet she continues to talk like there are four. Suddenly, there are
> four on the "covered cookie sheet"! SLop "marinades" the tuna steaks in
> a plastic bag filled with the contents of a bottle of Italian dressing.
> You can't get much more Fremnch than that!
>
> After all this monkey business with the tuna, SLop has a "Me washie
> handsies! Me washie handsies!' moment. Naturally, she does this sans
> soap and after she's touched several things and her sleeves and tassels
> have been dragged through the tuna several times.
>
> SLop talks about how French cooking is all about flavour, not soaking
> and saturating food. Heh. Actually, I thought I saw on Good Eats that
> French cooking was pretty sauce-intensive because it was invented to
> conceal food that was going bad. It certainly seems appropriate to me.
>
> SLop retrieves the tuna from the fridge, claiming that it "basked" and
> "bathed" in the marinade!
>
> SLop makes her salad with store-bought hard boiled eggs (good call!).
> Aiiiee! She's using canned potatoes! Anyhow, SLop tells us "These are
> nice and crunchy. They're already cooked" while opening a can and
> draining the liquid. Holy crap! The liquid from that can was blue! Next
> she adds some thawed frozen green beans. On a salad? Why not use fresh
> ones? Lastly, SLop puts the tuna on the salad. Isn't stuffing and
> marinating the tuna over-doing it? Apparently SLop forgot what she told
> us about French cooking a few minutes ago.
>
> When SLop starts working on the truffles, I notice a vodka bottle on
> counter. Oh, goodie!
>
> A lame pop-up graphic indicates that what she does next is to be blamed
> on a Fandra. SLop whips out a fake letter and reads "When making
> pudding, add the liquid from canned fruit to it." Yuck. I think I've
> tasted pudding made that way in Elementary school.
>
> She soaks some coconut macaroons in vodka. I find it hard to believe
> people use those for trifle! She serves the trifle in plastic martini
> glasses. Go figure! As she tops them with the canned fruit, you can tell
> she didn't drain the cans of fruit cocktail entirely.
>
> When we return from commercial, SLop enters stage left clutching two
> bottles of booze and giddily announces "It's cocktail time! Best time of
> the day!", but sadly, there is no accompanying pop-up graphic. What did
> she call her mocktail, a "Sandra-pay"? SLop tells us "If you're in the
> south of France, you can get away eating desserts 24/7...or drinking
> cocktails 24/7". Now I see why she is so fond of France, the "city of
> lights". SLop threatens to dress up for a beach party and proclaims she
> needs a second drink.
>
> This week's tablerape has a beach theme. SLop set several little doll
> houses on the table and set a tray on them with the food perched on top.
> Once again, she overcrowds the table, but hey, that means less of her
> concoctions, right?
>
> --
> WARNING!!!
> Use of these recipes may be hazardous to your health, food budget,
> standing in your community and liver function. Use at your own risk!!
> We assume no liability from any illness or injury sustained while
> eating the "food" or being exposed to crapass tablescapes. And no,
> we're not sure where she grew up either. The Cordon Bleu disavows any
> knowlege of Miss Lee.

Dude! Just don't watch her show. Put all that energy into something useful.

Jon