Lou Decruss wrote:

>
> >I find the standard 'BYOB' acceptable for a backyard party at my house.
>
> I always have plenty, but people always bring plenty more. Usually
> there's more leftover after a party then before guests arrive because
> they bring so much.

In our younger days when we had less money and we all drank a lot more, none of
us could afford to provide drinks so parties were always BYOB. Of course there
were always some who brought lots and others who drank more than they brought,
but it balanced out. Now that we are older, financially comfortable and our
friends drink more moderately, we provide the drinks. Most people bring beer,
wine or liquor anyway and we usually end up with way more than we started with.

> Bread is always a good thing to bring if you make your own. I don't
> know anyone who makes it, so it's always received well when I show up
> with a few loaves and a spread of some sort.

Home made bread is always welcome. Bread and rolls seem to be the weakness at
most dinner parties. I have only made my own bread a few times but I am spoiled.
We have an excellent Italian bakery in town and their prices are very reasonable.
I can buy a big loaf of really good Italian bread for less than most grocery
store bread. They also make great rolls.

wrote:

> I was recently invited to a birthday party a friend was giving for
> himself....or so we thought. It was at a very good Chinese restaurant
> in SF. When the bill was presented to him, he looked it over and
> announced how much it would be per person. We were all shocked and 2
> men excused themselves to go to the nearest ATM. Doing this was so out
> of character for the birthday boy....I wonder what he was thinking.
>
> Have a happy Sunday and a good week,
>

I think that is pretty tacky too. If you invite someone to a party and
nothing is said about paying it should be safe to assume there is no
financial obligation. I would be shocked. I would pay my share. I would not
accept another "invitation".

"Lou Decruss" wrote
"cshenk" wrote:

>>Or just clueless, or make so much more than their neighbors (nice
>>neighborhood doesnt indicate much, I live in a nice one too but we dont
>>have
>>200$ a person gifts of potluck foods going around!).
>
> $200 may have a different impact on different peoples budget as a few
> here claim they can eat a whole month on that. BUT even if you're
> rich, it's still $200 and I think they know that. The woman sounds
> like a "favor-grabbing" asshole.

Grin, I think she's just socially clueless. Most of the more weathy friends
I have (not that many of them but a few) are very careful with routine
bills. My impression is this 'lady' holds this type of gathering fairly
often so would fall under 'routine bill' and at that, 200$ is a bit much.

In fact I was talking with Paula just last night and mentioned this. Paula
is 'well heeled' and we met at a local charity event. (Paula and I met at a
charity MADD gathering).

A friendship ensued and we meet up about once a month and call every other
week or so. Paula can easily afford 1,000$ a plate charity events (no, we
met at a simpler venue). I asked her about this party and she was more than
a little appalled. Per Paula: 'That person would be uninvited from my guest
list unless it was a truely special event and we normally traded and even
then, it would have to be more politely handled".

I *have* been to fancy parties at Paula's house. She's occasionally come to
our little backyard shindigs too ;-). She's real people. Her house is a
beautiful 10 bedroom Victorian set on a 3 acre yard with a pool.

I know how she manages her lists. She lets folks know by an email group of
a prospective date for a yard-garden-pool party. She asks who will need a
ride to/from and has her driver (yes, she has a driver!) pickup us strays so
we can have wine etc. Her better heeled friends have people to pick them
up (like her, some have drivers and they will happily assist in getting the
rest of us back, like last time Jack's handyman doubled as a driver and took
us home). Everyone knows that some of us can't provide 'fancy' so along
with the invite, is a note to just bring a smile and if feeling awkward with
that, a small list of very *reasonable* items easy to provide at 10-20$. A
12-pack of seagrams ginger-ale is a sample as is 'a block of any nice cheese
you like so we can all have a taste test'.

Last time, I brought a 12$ butterkaieser cheese and a 12pack of Hawaiian
punch fruit juices. This was more than acceptable and the kids really liked
the juices.

Her guests span quite a range of backgrounds, races, religions, and finances
and our only thing in common is we are all interesting conversationalists.
So you might have a revival preacher with patched bluejeans earnestly
chatting with a fellow who owns 20 local grocery stores about how it was in
Vietnam when they were both foot soldiers.... Or the guy who works as a
stock boy for the grocery magnate chatting with his son about Chaucer and
the relevance to local times in our fears of eubola or aids vs theirs of the
black death.

As you might guess, her parties are alot of fun!

A sample of her handling: She asked me (reason for the call) what she
should have on hand so I can make a few authentic japanese variations of
miso soups. The next one (slated for 4 weeks from now) is a theme on
cooking where we are going to do a sort of really *simple* 'iron chef'. Key
point here is her handling. 'What should she have on-hand'. IE: she's
buying <g>. My return volly was to ask her to have 1/8 cup straw mushrooms
per expected eater or the same volume of reconstituted shiitake, and about 2
lbs cooked octopus and I'd have the rest for the estimated 40 servings.
*This* is how you do it if you want a special meal requested.

>>I find the standard 'BYOB' acceptable for a backyard party at my house.
>
> I always have plenty, but people always bring plenty more. Usually
> there's more leftover after a party then before guests arrive because
> they bring so much.

True. At my backyard party, we arent big drinkers. 1 12pack of bud and 1
of Miller Lite is more than enough.

> We have friends with a large boat that has several beers on tap. We
> bring wine for them to drink another time by themselves, and drink the
> beer from the tap. It all works out. The parties they throw are
> potluck and we make sure we bring good food. You're not going to get
> re-invited to a multi-million boat by being a cheap asshole.

Grin, understood! Paula's parties are a little different. I'm there
because I fascinate the guests as well as am fascinated by them.
Conversation is why we gather. What we offer, is ourselves for the most
part.

>>to share. Work ones are small, just 6 of us. I'm the only one who makes
>>bread so normally thats what they want me to do. A chance to get some
>>good
>>stuff intead of 'wonderbread-white-gunk'.
>
> Bread is always a good thing to bring if you make your own. I don't
> know anyone who makes it, so it's always received well when I show up
> with a few loaves and a spread of some sort.

Same here. Paula's is the only time I dont bring bread. Her cook handles
that. Grin, her's is no better or worse than mine.

Oh and last time Paula showed up for a backyard picnic at my place? Her car
broke down at the mall and she just walked over. She grabbed a 12pack at
the 7-11 on the way ;-). Ate Jimmy's chicken franks with glee and moaned
with the rest of us on the price of gas. That was the summer before I left
for Japan. I have to fix the grill now to start up again our little summer
gatherings at my place <g>.

Dave Smith wrote:

> I think that is pretty tacky too. If you invite someone to a party and
> nothing is said about paying it should be safe to assume there is no
> financial obligation. I would be shocked. I would pay my share. I would not
> accept another "invitation".
>
I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
part of the confusion?
If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant"
I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if they said
"Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?" I'd assume
I was paying my own way.

On Sun 01 Jun 2008 04:21:16p, Goomba told us...

> Dave Smith wrote:
>
>> I think that is pretty tacky too. If you invite someone to a party and
>> nothing is said about paying it should be safe to assume there is no
>> financial obligation. I would be shocked. I would pay my share. I
>> would not accept another "invitation".
>>
> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
> part of the confusion?
> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant"
> I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if they said
> "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?" I'd assume
> I was paying my own way.

I find "join us" to sometimes be misconstrued. We usually say, "Would you
like to *meet* us at happy Cat Chinese Restaurant for dinner?" To me that
implies nothing more than getting together for a meal.



--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Sunday, 06(VI)/01(I)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Hard work must have killed someone!
-------------------------------------------

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> On Sun 01 Jun 2008 04:21:16p, Goomba told us...
>
>> Dave Smith wrote:
>>
>>> I think that is pretty tacky too. If you invite someone to a party and
>>> nothing is said about paying it should be safe to assume there is no
>>> financial obligation. I would be shocked. I would pay my share. I
>>> would not accept another "invitation".
>>>
>> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
>> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
>> part of the confusion?
>> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant"
>> I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if they said
>> "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?" I'd assume
>> I was paying my own way.
>
> I find "join us" to sometimes be misconstrued. We usually say, "Would you
> like to *meet* us at happy Cat Chinese Restaurant for dinner?" To me that
> implies nothing more than getting together for a meal.
>
>
>
Not that this is relevant, but who would eat at a Chinese restaurant
with "cat" in its name

Texas Janet, ducking and running.

--
Janet Wilder
Bad spelling. Bad punctuation
Good Friends. Good Life

Goomba wrote:

>
> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
> part of the confusion?
> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant"
> I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if they said
> "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?" I'd assume
> I was paying my own way.

If I were to receive an invitation to attend Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant and
realized I would be expected to pay for myself and my sweetie I would have to
consider whether I wanted to spend the money to go out with my sweetie with a
bunch of other people and weight the pros and cons of doing that or going
elsewhere with my sweetie. Thanks but no thanks, I would rather just go out with
her, unless I wanted to go there anyway. And if I went, I would want to pay my
own way and not be subsidizing the hangers on who will drink and eat their faces
off and expecting their over indulgence to be subsidized by the rest of the party.

On Sun 01 Jun 2008 05:48:26p, Janet Wilder told us...

> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>> On Sun 01 Jun 2008 04:21:16p, Goomba told us...
>>
>>> Dave Smith wrote:
>>>
>>>> I think that is pretty tacky too. If you invite someone to a party
>>>> and nothing is said about paying it should be safe to assume there is
>>>> no financial obligation. I would be shocked. I would pay my share. I
>>>> would not accept another "invitation".
>>>>
>>> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't
>>> get me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if
>>> that was part of the confusion?
>>> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese
>>> Restaurant" I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if
>>> they said "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?"
>>> I'd assume I was paying my own way.
>>
>> I find "join us" to sometimes be misconstrued. We usually say, "Would
>> you like to *meet* us at happy Cat Chinese Restaurant for dinner?" To
>> me that implies nothing more than getting together for a meal.
>>
>>
>>
> Not that this is relevant, but who would eat at a Chinese restaurant
> with "cat" in its name
>
> Texas Janet, ducking and running.
>

LOL! You mean you would not meet me at the Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant
for dinner? :-) Well, mebbe you're right, Janet., They might have Cat
Almond Ding on the menu.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Sunday, 06(VI)/01(I)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
ANY day above ground is a GREAT one!
-------------------------------------------

On Sun 01 Jun 2008 06:05:31p, Dave Smith told us...

> Goomba wrote:
>
>>
>> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
>> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
>> part of the confusion?
>> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese
>> Restaurant" I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if
>> they said "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?"
>> I'd assume I was paying my own way.
>
> If I were to receive an invitation to attend Happy Cat Chinese
> Restaurant and realized I would be expected to pay for myself and my
> sweetie I would have to consider whether I wanted to spend the money to
> go out with my sweetie with a bunch of other people and weight the pros
> and cons of doing that or going elsewhere with my sweetie. Thanks but
> no thanks, I would rather just go out with her, unless I wanted to go
> there anyway. And if I went, I would want to pay my own way and not be
> subsidizing the hangers on who will drink and eat their faces off and
> expecting their over indulgence to be subsidized by the rest of the
> party.

If the situation was suspect, I would ask upon ordering for a separate
check just myself and my partner.

Actually, I had just the reverse situation once. I had invited a party of
12 to celebrate my partner's birthday at a very nice seafood restaurant. I
had every intention of paying for the entire party, and I thought I had
conveyed that when I made the invitation. Everyone drank and ate to their
fill, and when I was presented with the check (by previous request), most
of our guests were almost outraged that I intended to pay the entire bill.
A couple of couples absolutelyl insisted on paying their share. As it
turned out, everyone did despite my objections. I didn't want to cause a
scene over it.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Sunday, 06(VI)/01(I)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
ANY day above ground is a GREAT one!
-------------------------------------------

On Sun, 01 Jun 2008 12:26:27 -0500, Lou Decruss >
wrote:

>Bread is always a good thing to bring if you make your own. I don't
>know anyone who makes it, so it's always received well when I show up
>with a few loaves and a spread of some sort.

Any type of home made bread is a hit. I bring rolls if I bring home
made bread.

--
See return address to reply by email
remove the smile first

On Sun, 1 Jun 2008 10:56:26 -0700 (PDT), Karen >
fired up random neurons and synapses to opine:

>I'm curious about something.
>
>Did friend ask, "May I bring something?"

Even if she *had* asked if she could bring something, you don't
inivite someone for a duck dinner and then ask them to bring the duck.
You tell them, "No, no, everything's in hand. The pleasure of your
company is more than enough..."
>
>I always wonder if this is in the equation. If she didn't ask if she
>could bring something, and chef's wife asked her to bring stuff,
>that's beyond rude. If friend asked if she could bring something,
>that's another thing. But, the expensive grocery list is way out of
>line!

The most I've ever asked anyone to bring to a dinner party of mine was
a salad or dessert and that was a) from family, b) my work commitment
blew up after the invitation was issued, and c) I've hosted the family
100 times more often than the rest of 'em put together.

But ask someone to bring *anything* to a dinner I'm hosting? Not
happening.*

*(cookins notwithstanding)

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines

To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"

Goomba wrote:
>>
> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
> part of the confusion?

> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant"
> I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet if they said
> "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?" I'd assume
> I was paying my own way.
>

Except that most of the time it's not "join us", it's "We're having a
birthday party for Joe at XYZ Restaurant Friday at 6PM. Can you make it?"

As Dear Daughter often says: "Who's this 'we', Kemo Sabe?"

If it's in a restaurant, I assume it's Dutch treat unless it's a
wedding reception or anniversary party but even then, you never know.


gloria p

Dave Smith wrote:

>
> If I were to receive an invitation to attend Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant and
> realized I would be expected to pay for myself and my sweetie I would have to
> consider whether I wanted to spend the money to go out with my sweetie with a
> bunch of other people and weight the pros and cons of doing that or going
> elsewhere with my sweetie. Thanks but no thanks, I would rather just go out with
> her, unless I wanted to go there anyway. And if I went, I would want to pay my
> own way and not be subsidizing the hangers on who will drink and eat their faces
> off and expecting their over indulgence to be subsidized by the rest of the party.
>


I've complained about that before. There are groups I won't go to lunch
with because I'm happy with a salad and iced tea but way too many times
some of the group will have two glasses of wine, an appetizer, an
expensive entree, dessert and espresso and suggest splitting the bill
evenly "to make it easier". I got tired of paying $25 for my $10 lunch.
Yes, it happens. The learning experience is not to let it happen
multiple times.

gloria p

Gloria P > wrote in
:

> Goomba wrote:
>>>
>> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't
>> get me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if
>> that was part of the confusion?
>
>> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese
>> Restaurant" I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. Yet
>> if they said "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese
>> Restaurant?" I'd assume I was paying my own way.
>>
>
> Except that most of the time it's not "join us", it's "We're having a
> birthday party for Joe at XYZ Restaurant Friday at 6PM. Can you make
> it?"
>
> As Dear Daughter often says: "Who's this 'we', Kemo Sabe?"
>
> If it's in a restaurant, I assume it's Dutch treat unless it's a
> wedding reception or anniversary party but even then, you never know.
>


I ring people up and say "Pizza and pasta at my place", or "BBQ night",
or "Curry night at the Lucas household". All my friends now know that
there's none of this "What do you want me to bring" crap. If I invite
people, I supply the food and the wine. If they drink beer, they bring
it.

One female in particular has learnt *not* to bring a plate of snacks.
She was quite offended the first time when I told her to take it back
out to her car and take it home :-)


But then, we've been invited to someone's place for a birthday BBQ.
Knowing the people, I said "What do you want me to bring?". The reply
was "Everything you want to eat and drink."

So we had to take our meat, salads, breads, drinks....... the lot. We
got a second invite a couple of months later. I looked at the SO and
said, "we might as well go to a park and have our own BBQ." We declined
their offer...... especially when they turn up at peoples houses with
nothing and expect everything to be supplied for them.

Typical bloody Kiwis!!


--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia


The path of a warrior never deviating,
one has to become not just a part of nature
but a force of nature,
acting in accordance with the laws of the universe.
(Getsumei No Michi, the Moonlit Path)

"cshenk" > wrote in message
>
> A friendship ensued and we meet up about once a month and call every other
> week or so. Paula can easily afford 1,000$ a plate charity events (no, we
> met at a simpler venue). I asked her about this party and she was more
> than a little appalled. Per Paula: 'That person would be uninvited from
> my guest list unless it was a truely special event and we normally traded
> and even then, it would have to be more politely handled".


My daughter lives and works in Las Vegas completely unrelated to the casino
industry. Through her work she met a popular Las Vegas entertainer. She
invited him to a family and neighbor gathering. Shortly after arriving, he
asked how much she wanted. Her answer, of course, was nothing. Being a
celebrity, he is usually expected to pay for something no matter when he
goes. A couple of years later they are still friends, party because he can
go hang out at her house and be "normal".

wrote:
> I was recently invited to a birthday party a friend was giving for
> himself....or so we thought. It was at a very good Chinese restaurant
> in SF. When the bill was presented to him, he looked it over and
> announced how much it would be per person. We were all shocked and 2
> men excused themselves to go to the nearest ATM. Doing this was so out
> of character for the birthday boy....I wonder what he was thinking.

Yeah, that stuff drives me crazy.

There was a friend-of-a-friend who was going to be in town, and we were
gonna get together for dinner. He said "And I can even treat, because
I'm on an expense account." Okay, fine. So when we got to the end of
the meal, he not only didn't offer to pay, but he didn't have enough for
his half, and I didn't have enough cash on me, so I had to call my wife
to run to the ATM and bring me money. I was, shall we say, not amused.

If I'd been less stunned, maybe I would've dealt with it better, but at
the time, I just wanted out of there.

Serene

Serene Vannoy wrote:

> There was a friend-of-a-friend who was going to be in town, and we were
> gonna get together for dinner. He said "And I can even treat, because
> I'm on an expense account." Okay, fine. So when we got to the end of
> the meal, he not only didn't offer to pay, but he didn't have enough for
> his half, and I didn't have enough cash on me, so I had to call my wife
> to run to the ATM and bring me money. I was, shall we say, not amused.
>
> If I'd been less stunned, maybe I would've dealt with it better, but at
> the time, I just wanted out of there.
>
> Serene

No one carries a credit card with them??

Goomba wrote:
> Serene Vannoy wrote:
>
>> There was a friend-of-a-friend who was going to be in town, and we
>> were gonna get together for dinner. He said "And I can even treat,
>> because I'm on an expense account." Okay, fine. So when we got to the
>> end of the meal, he not only didn't offer to pay, but he didn't have
>> enough for his half, and I didn't have enough cash on me, so I had to
>> call my wife to run to the ATM and bring me money. I was, shall we
>> say, not amused.
>>
>> If I'd been less stunned, maybe I would've dealt with it better, but
>> at the time, I just wanted out of there.
>>
>> Serene
>
> No one carries a credit card with them??

I don't have a credit card, and at the time, I had about twenty dollars
on me and not enough in the bank to get out more to pay the whole bill,
about $40. I have a debit card now that I can use, but I don't have a
lot of money, and as some other posters have pointed out, if I'm going
to spend $40 on lunch, I'd rather go out with my family and spend it on us.

Serene

On Jun 1, 7:46*pm, "Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote:
> My daughter lives and works in Las Vegas completely unrelated to the casino
> industry. *Through her work she met a popular Las Vegas entertainer. She
> invited him to a family and neighbor gathering. *Shortly after arriving, he
> asked how much she wanted. *Her answer, of course, was nothing. *Being a
> celebrity, he is usually expected to pay for something no matter when he
> goes. A couple of *years later they are still friends, party because he can
> go hang out at her house and be "normal".

What a treat, to be normal.... fame must not be that great when it's
hard to tell who you rea friends are.

Karen

"Karen" > wrote in message
...
On Jun 1, 7:46 pm, "Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote:
> My daughter lives and works in Las Vegas completely unrelated to the
> casino
> industry. Through her work she met a popular Las Vegas entertainer. She
> invited him to a family and neighbor gathering. Shortly after arriving, he
> asked how much she wanted. Her answer, of course, was nothing. Being a
> celebrity, he is usually expected to pay for something no matter when he
> goes. A couple of years later they are still friends, party because he can
> go hang out at her house and be "normal".

>What a treat, to be normal.... fame must not be that >great when it's hard
>to tell who you rea friends are.

Jesus, you are such an envious, spiteful, petty little ****head. "It's a
damn shame you have to be bothered to breathe." ~ Kennety Patchen

"Goomba" > wrote
>
> No one carries a credit card with them??

Once again, your ASSumptions stagger. Many people actually CHOOSE
not to use credit cards.

Serene Vannoy wrote:

>
>
> There was a friend-of-a-friend who was going to be in town, and we were
> gonna get together for dinner. He said "And I can even treat, because
> I'm on an expense account." Okay, fine. So when we got to the end of
> the meal, he not only didn't offer to pay, but he didn't have enough for
> his half, and I didn't have enough cash on me, so I had to call my wife
> to run to the ATM and bring me money. I was, shall we say, not amused.
>
> If I'd been less stunned, maybe I would've dealt with it better, but at
> the time, I just wanted out of there.

At work we used to refer to that as "getting Andied" Andy was notorious for
meeting us in restaurants for meals and not having enough money to pay. We
were one expense accounts and he never seemed to be able to get it together
enough to save money from one expense to pay for the next few weeks .

The last time it happened to me, I had the lunch special, a bowl of soup,
toasted western side with fries on the side and coffee for the unbelievable
price of $2.65 a damned good deal even 15 years ago when this happened. Andy
had fish and chips with double fish, a milkshake, coffee and a chocolate
sundae. When the bill came, Andy had no money.

I ended up paying for Andy's meal. Andy claimed his meal on his expense
account. When his check came in he forgot to cash it, forgot the money...spent
the money. The ******* claimed for the lunch that I paid for and then pocketed
the money.

That never happened to me again, or anyone else with me when Andy came along.
We made him show us that he had money before we would let him come to a
restaurant with us.

Duh'Wayne > wrote:
> Dave Smith told us...
> > Goomba wrote:
>
> >> I think people have become so confused anymore about manners (don't get
> >> me started on RSVP's!) and invitation wording that I wonder if that was
> >> part of the confusion?
> >> If I heard "Come be our guest at dinner at Happy Cat Chinese
> >> Restaurant" I would expect that the host (inviter) was paying. �Yet if
> >> they said "Would you like to join us at Happy Cat Chinese Restaurant?"
> >> I'd assume I was paying my own way.
>
> > If I were to receive an invitation to attend Happy Cat Chinese
> > Restaurant and realized I would be expected to pay for myself and my
> > sweetie I would have to consider whether I wanted to spend the money to
> > go out with my sweetie with a bunch of other people and weight the pros
> > and cons of doing that or �going elsewhere with my sweetie. �Thanks but
> > no thanks, I would rather just go out with her, unless I wanted to go
> > there anyway. �And if I went, I would want to pay my own way and not be
> > subsidizing the hangers on who will drink and eat their faces off and
> > expecting their over indulgence to be subsidized by the rest of the
> > party.
>
> If the situation was suspect, I would ask upon ordering for a separate
> check just myself and my partner.
>
>
>
> Actually, I had just the reverse situation once _UPON A TIME_ here comes a lie!
> I had invited a party of
> 12 to celebrate my partner's birthday at a very nice seafood restaurant. �I
> had every intention of paying for the entire party, and I thought I had
> conveyed that when I made the invitation. �Everyone drank and ate to their
> fill, and when I was presented with the check (by previous request), most
> of our guests were almost outraged that I intended to pay the entire bill. �
> A couple of couples absolutelyl insisted on paying their share. �As it
> turned out, everyone did despite my objections. �I didn't want to cause a
> scene over it.

What a liar... of course you planned it that way... if you really
intended to pay the entire tab yourself without incident then towards
the end of the meal you would have gotten up off your fat vasolened
ass and taken care of the lucre with management in private. Normally
a host would have previously made arrangements to stay after the meal
to settle up in private... that you purposely arranged for the bill to
be presented in front of all your guests proves you're a lying cheap
tutti fruitti *******. Your guests weren't outraged that you intended
to pay the entire bill... obviously you *intentionally* embarrassed
them into paying. Of course no such event ever ocurred, you LIAR!

On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 02:49:08 -0400, "cybercat" >
wrote:
>
>"Karen" > wrote in message
...
>
>>On Jun 1, 7:46 pm, "Edwin Pawlowski" > wrote:
>>
>>> My daughter lives and works in Las Vegas completely unrelated to the
>>> casino
>>> industry. Through her work she met a popular Las Vegas entertainer. She
>>> invited him to a family and neighbor gathering. Shortly after arriving, he
>>> asked how much she wanted. Her answer, of course, was nothing. Being a
>>> celebrity, he is usually expected to pay for something no matter when he
>>> goes. A couple of years later they are still friends, party because he can
>>> go hang out at her house and be "normal".
>
>>What a treat, to be normal.... fame must not be that great when it's hard
>>to tell who you rea friends are.
>
>Jesus, you are such an envious, spiteful, petty little ****head. "It's a
>damn shame you have to be bothered to breathe." ~ Kennety Patchen
>

I missed the envious, spiteful, little ****head part. Was that in
another post?

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On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 02:53:43 -0400, "cybercat" >
wrote:

>
>"Goomba" > wrote
>>
>> No one carries a credit card with them??
>
>Once again, your ASSumptions stagger. Many people actually CHOOSE
>not to use credit cards.
>
I'd be hard pressed to pull out my credit card to bail out someone who
pulled that shit on me. I doubt I'd be in the situation to begin with
because I'd have deeply questioned how he intended to justify my meal
on his expense account. The days of unlimited spending have been over
for long a long time, my friend.

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On Sun, 01 Jun 2008 16:33:39 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>Lou Decruss wrote:
>
>>
>> >I find the standard 'BYOB' acceptable for a backyard party at my house.
>>
>> I always have plenty, but people always bring plenty more. Usually
>> there's more leftover after a party then before guests arrive because
>> they bring so much.
>
>In our younger days when we had less money and we all drank a lot more, none of
>us could afford to provide drinks so parties were always BYOB. Of course there
>were always some who brought lots and others who drank more than they brought,
>but it balanced out. Now that we are older, financially comfortable and our
>friends drink more moderately, we provide the drinks. Most people bring beer,
>wine or liquor anyway and we usually end up with way more than we started with.

I'll agree liquor was a much bigger deal when we were young. But even
in our 50's we've still got a friend or two who over does it. One in
particular likes to visit, leave her lazy husband at home and get
shitfaced. He's a pothead and I'd rather not be around him anyway.
We finally had to ask her not to bring anything other than beer
because hard liquor makes her unbearable. She's been a good friend of
Louise for almost 30 years so we can't exclude her, but a 55 year old
chick stumbling around making passes on anyone with a pulse gets old.
30 Years ago I'm sure it would be fun.
>
>> Bread is always a good thing to bring if you make your own. I don't
>> know anyone who makes it, so it's always received well when I show up
>> with a few loaves and a spread of some sort.
>
>Home made bread is always welcome. Bread and rolls seem to be the weakness at
>most dinner parties. I have only made my own bread a few times but I am spoiled.

What I like about making my own is I can add whatever I want. We got
a few jars of spreads from Napa Vally Harvest for Christmas that I
smeared on the dough along with some cheese and the bread is
incredible.

>We have an excellent Italian bakery in town and their prices are very reasonable.
>I can buy a big loaf of really good Italian bread for less than most grocery
>store bread. They also make great rolls.

We've got good bakeries here too, but fresh out of the oven is always
better. Here's a pretty simple recipe for the best rolls I've ever
had. I make them often and they're always a request for backyard
cookouts for burger buns. The recipe says to bake for 10 minutes, but
I've found 9 is what they need.


Onion Rolls

2 tsp. active dry yeast
1/2 cup lukewarm water
2 Tbsp. sugar
1 cup flour
1/2 cup milk
1 egg
4 Tbsp. oil
1 tsp. salt
2-2 1/2 cups flour
4 Tbsp. butter/margarine
2 cups chopped onions
melted butter
poppy seeds (optional)


In a large bowl, mix together the yeast, lukewarm water, sugar and 1
cup flour. Let sit till bubbly, about 1/2 hour.


Add milk, egg, oil, salt and remaining flour. Mix well to form a soft
dough. Turn dough onto lightly floured surface and knead until smooth
and elastic, about 10 minutes. Place dough in a well-greased bowl,
turning
to coat all sides, and let rise till very light, up to 3 hours.

While dough is rising, prepare onions. Melt butter in a large frying
pan and add onions. Sauté over low-to-medium heat until onions are
soft
and barely golden, about 20 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside.

Punch dough down and turn onto lightly floured work surface. Divide
into eight pieces. Flatten each piece into a rough rectangle
approximately
4-inch wide by 7-inch long. Spoon 1/8 of the onion mixture in a strip
down the center of each dough rectangle. Fold both sides of dough
over onions and pinch together to seal, making eight rolls which
are each approximately 4-inch high by 2 1/2-inch wide.

Place rolls on lightly greased (or parchment-lined) baking sheet. Set
in a warm place to rise until puffy, about 1 hour.

Preheat oven to 500°F. Gently brush rolls with a little melted butter,
then sprinkle with poppy seeds, if desired.

Bake rolls for 10 minutes, or until golden brown. Remove from oven and
cool completely on a wire rack. Store in a plastic bag. These rolls
are
actually better, in taste and texture, if allowed to "ripen"
overnight.



This recipe reprinted from King Arthur Flour's Baking Sheet, Vol. III,
No. 4, March-April 1992.

On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:13:57 GMT, "Michael \"Dog3\""
> wrote:

The man may be a skilled surgeon but IMO he is an ignorant
>barbarian and will have nothing to do with him and Steven knows way
>better than to invite him to any of our parties.
>
>Michael

Michael, chances are high that he treats the nurses really badly too.
Christine, who has worked with many surgeons like that.

Michael \"Dog3\" wrote:

>
> I don't have time for that self imposed God complex some of them get and
> I'm pretty str8 forward with his type of personality. I only tolerated him
> after the first time we went out with him because of Steven. Not any more.
> I don't even put up with that crap with Steven, let alone someone else.
>

I know a guy who is like that with wait staff too. He is not a surgeon. In
fact, I am not even sure what it was he did before he retired other than
working only long enough to collect pogey and then milking that until it ran
out before getting another job just long enough to qualify again. He is just a
cheap *******. On the rare occasion that he does go to a restaurant he bitches
and whines about everything, especially the service, because he is too damned
cheap to part with his money and is looking for an excuse not to tip. His idea
of going to a bar to meet women is to wait until close to closing time, after
they have either bought their own drinks or someone else has been buying them.
That way he can find one already plied with alcohol so he won't have to spend
any money on them.

Then there is the famous Big Niece who at the family party at my father in
law's club had her own personal waiter. When he brought coffee around she asked
for tea. When he brought the tea she asked for a pitcher of milk for her tea.
When he brought the pitcher of milk she asked for a glass of milk. When he
brought the the glass of milk she asked for a soft drink. The waiter had the
good sense to disappear and I never got my coffee refill because he wasn't
dumb enough to come back for more of her nonsense.

On Mon 02 Jun 2008 09:13:57a, Michael "Dog3" told us...

> Gloria P >
> : in rec.food.cooking
>
>> I've complained about that before. There are groups I won't go to
>> lunch with because I'm happy with a salad and iced tea but way too
>> many times some of the group will have two glasses of wine, an
>> appetizer, an expensive entree, dessert and espresso and suggest
>> splitting the bill evenly "to make it easier". I got tired of paying
>> $25 for my $10 lunch.
>> Yes, it happens. The learning experience is not to let it happen
>> multiple times.
>
> The same has happened to us several times over the years. I just drop
> the others as dining companions. I tend to drop the people that do what
> I call, "milk the check", as you just explained, on a continuous basis,
> or, are incredibly rude and ignorant with the restaurant staff.
>
> A current friend of Steven's used to make me crazy. He would bitch and
> moan at the waitstaff while running their asses off. Complained about
> *everything*. The friend would then calculate his reduced tip (due to
> bad service) and tip on his part of the check minus the sales tax. He
> used a calculator. I finally go sick and tired of tipping his share on
> the side. Finally one evening I quietly asked the friend (in front of
> everyone at the table) that I dined out to have fun and enjoy myself. I
> explained to him I did not enjoy dining out with him and had no
> intentions of doing it one more time. He was offended (which pleased me)
> and when I left a few more dollars on top of his tip he became outraged.
> I quietly told him there was a difference between being frugal and cheap
> and then went on to explain to him that he wasn't frugal. Steven was
> really ****ed off at me but I'd had it. Steven still goes out with him
> but I refuse. The man may be a skilled surgeon but IMO he is an ignorant
> barbarian and will have nothing to do with him and Steven knows way
> better than to invite him to any of our parties.
>
> Michael
>

I love it! The sort of thing I would do.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Monday, 06(VI)/02(II)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Please, make yourself at home. Do the
dishes!
-------------------------------------------

On Mon 02 Jun 2008 11:00:27a, Dave Smith told us...

> Michael \"Dog3\" wrote:
>
>>
>> I don't have time for that self imposed God complex some of them get
>> and I'm pretty str8 forward with his type of personality. I only
>> tolerated him after the first time we went out with him because of
>> Steven. Not any more. I don't even put up with that crap with Steven,
>> let alone someone else.
>>
>
> I know a guy who is like that with wait staff too. He is not a surgeon.
> In fact, I am not even sure what it was he did before he retired other
> than working only long enough to collect pogey and then milking that
> until it ran out before getting another job just long enough to qualify
> again. He is just a cheap *******. On the rare occasion that he does go
> to a restaurant he bitches and whines about everything, especially the
> service, because he is too damned cheap to part with his money and is
> looking for an excuse not to tip. His idea of going to a bar to meet
> women is to wait until close to closing time, after they have either
> bought their own drinks or someone else has been buying them. That way
> he can find one already plied with alcohol so he won't have to spend any
> money on them.
>
> Then there is the famous Big Niece who at the family party at my father
> in law's club had her own personal waiter. When he brought coffee around
> she asked for tea. When he brought the tea she asked for a pitcher of
> milk for her tea. When he brought the pitcher of milk she asked for a
> glass of milk. When he brought the the glass of milk she asked for a
> soft drink. The waiter had the good sense to disappear and I never got
> my coffee refill because he wasn't dumb enough to come back for more of
> her nonsense.
>
>
>

Big Niece sounds like a good candidate for extermination, judging from this
and past history.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Monday, 06(VI)/02(II)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Please, make yourself at home. Do the
dishes!
-------------------------------------------

In article >,
Serene Vannoy > wrote:

> Goomba wrote:
> > Serene Vannoy wrote:
> >
> >> There was a friend-of-a-friend who was going to be in town, and we
> >> were gonna get together for dinner. He said "And I can even treat,
> >> because I'm on an expense account." Okay, fine. So when we got to the
> >> end of the meal, he not only didn't offer to pay, but he didn't have
> >> enough for his half, and I didn't have enough cash on me, so I had to
> >> call my wife to run to the ATM and bring me money. I was, shall we
> >> say, not amused.
> >>
> >> If I'd been less stunned, maybe I would've dealt with it better, but
> >> at the time, I just wanted out of there.
> >>
> >> Serene
> >
> > No one carries a credit card with them??
>
> I don't have a credit card,

I can't speak for the others on this thread, but when I first got a job
that involved traveling for work, I got a credit card. I would spend
money, submit a monthly voucher, and get paid sometime later. Having a
credit card made this much easier, especially since I had very little
money then (right out of college). When somebody says that they are on
an expense account, I expect that they will have money, whether green or
plastic.

--
Dan Abel
Petaluma, California USA

Dan Abel wrote:

> I can't speak for the others on this thread, but when I first got a job
> that involved traveling for work, I got a credit card. I would spend
> money, submit a monthly voucher, and get paid sometime later. Having a
> credit card made this much easier, especially since I had very little
> money then (right out of college). When somebody says that they are on
> an expense account, I expect that they will have money, whether green or
> plastic.

That was basically the situation I was in. If I was more than 15 miles from my
base at meal time I was eligible for a meal, and due to the nature of my job, I
got the meal ticket almost every day, and sometimes hotels. I paid cash for the
meals and put in a claim every two weeks, or once a month if it was a slow
month. I usually go the check within a week. So that is what was so annoying
about that one co-worker. He just couldn't get it together enough to have the
money on hand to pay for his meals, and it was especially annoying that he
would put in a claim for the meal I bought him, get the money for it and not
pay me back. I was tempted to send in another claim for his lunch. If he didn't
pay for it at the time or reimburse me I should have been able to claim it and
then let him explain his claim.

"Dan Abel" > wrote> I can't speak for the others on this
thread, but when I first got a job
> that involved traveling for work, I got a credit card. I would spend
> money, submit a monthly voucher, and get paid sometime later. Having a
> credit card made this much easier, especially since I had very little
> money then (right out of college). When somebody says that they are on
> an expense account, I expect that they will have money, whether green or
> plastic.
>

Debit cards work just as well, and there's no interest or fees. Could be
that
they didn't have debit cards at the time you are talking about. (Hey, I am
old
enough to remember when there were no debit cards.)

sf wrote:
> On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 02:53:43 -0400, "cybercat" >
> wrote:
>
>> "Goomba" > wrote
>>> No one carries a credit card with them??
>> Once again, your ASSumptions stagger. Many people actually CHOOSE
>> not to use credit cards.
>>
> I'd be hard pressed to pull out my credit card to bail out someone who
> pulled that shit on me. I doubt I'd be in the situation to begin with
> because I'd have deeply questioned how he intended to justify my meal
> on his expense account. The days of unlimited spending have been over
> for long a long time, my friend.
>
I'd be harder pressed to impose on someone entirely outside the dining
group to bring me down the money to pay for my meal if it came down to
it. I'd wonder if someone had such poor credit that they don't have even
one credit card for responsible use (credit building, emergency use, etc)?

On Sat, 31 May 2008 09:14:11 -0400, "Virginia Tadrzynski"
> wrote:

>
>"Lou Decruss" > wrote in message
>news
>> On Fri, 30 May 2008 21:41:38 -0400, "Nancy Young" >
>> wrote:

>> I wouldn't pay anything if it was an invited party, and it would end
>> the friendship.
>>
>> I have a family member who threw a birthday party for one of the kids
>> at a pizza joint. The kid got at least 2 grand in cash and gifts.
>> $100 from me. When the bill came, family member complained how
>> expensive it was having kids and these parties, and mentioned the bill
>> was $196. Was I supposed to "pitch in" for the 2 beers and piece of
>> pizza I already paid $100 for? A few weeks later the family members
>> wife was complaining about people who give checks and gift
>> certificates rather than cash because she has to run the kids around
>> to take care of things. That was the last birthday party we went to
>> and we don't send gifts to their kids either. Unfortunately idiots
>> sometimes reside in your own family. My/our friends would never be
>> so tacky as we've chosen them well.
>>
>> Lou
>
>I know, the family ones are the worst. Had a SIL who, if you purchased
>something for her kids, would, in the middle of the festivities, ask for the
>receipt, so as she so bluntly put it.....'could take it back for the cash'
>and then announce that SHE would keep the cash as the kids would be too
>irresponsible to handle it and after all it did cost CASH MONEY to raise the
>little ingrates. We have been 'busy' since that time whenever we are
>invited to this 'family' do.
>-ginny

The SIL I referred to is just as tacky as that. She will always
announce how much the party cost, the price of the meat, how much work
it was getting ready, etc. etc. We just don't go anymore. We even
blew them off this past Christmas. Family or not I have little
patience for jerks.

Lou

On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 07:30:50 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote:

>That never happened to me again, or anyone else with me when Andy came along.
>We made him show us that he had money before we would let him come to a
>restaurant with us.

I wouldn't even share a table with someone like that.

Lou

"Goomba" > wrote in message
...
> sf wrote:
>> On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 02:53:43 -0400, "cybercat" >
>> wrote:
>>
>>> "Goomba" > wrote
>>>> No one carries a credit card with them??
>>> Once again, your ASSumptions stagger. Many people actually CHOOSE
>>> not to use credit cards.
>> I'd be hard pressed to pull out my credit card to bail out someone who
>> pulled that shit on me. I doubt I'd be in the situation to begin with
>> because I'd have deeply questioned how he intended to justify my meal
>> on his expense account. The days of unlimited spending have been over
>> for long a long time, my friend.
>>
> I'd be harder pressed to impose on someone entirely outside the dining
> group to bring me down the money to pay for my meal if it came down to it.
> I'd wonder if someone had such poor credit that they don't have even one
> credit card for responsible use (credit building, emergency use, etc)?

You are such a nasty bitch, honest to God. It is amazing to me that anyone
ever *bred* with you.

On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 20:14:52 -0400, Goomba >
wrote:

>I'd be harder pressed to impose on someone entirely outside the dining
>group to bring me down the money to pay for my meal if it came down to
>it.
I've deleted the thread.... wasn't it his wife that he called? Men do
it and think nothing of it - she could have said "No". LOL Why
didn't he have his own ATM card? Hubby and I share our account.
Sounds like they didn't.

>I'd wonder if someone had such poor credit that they don't have even
>one credit card for responsible use (credit building, emergency use, etc)?

Who knows? I'm beyond speculation. It was a good story though.


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On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 16:13:57 GMT, "Michael \"Dog3\""
> wrote:

> The man may be a skilled surgeon but IMO he is an ignorant
>barbarian

You misspelled "arrogant".

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On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:27:15 -0500, Lou Decruss >
wrote:

> Fold both sides of dough over onions and pinch together to seal, making eight rolls which
>are each approximately 4-inch high by 2 1/2-inch wide.

Is that written correctly? 4-inches *high*? Shouldn't wide and high
be exchanged?

In any case... thanks for the recipe, it's copied and saved. Sounds
easy and good.

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