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Old 31-05-2008, 12:51 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
also our friend's birthday.


Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.

The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
way !!

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.




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Old 31-05-2008, 01:38 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
Sky Sky is offline
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Default How's this for an invitation

Dave Smith wrote:

I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
also our friend's birthday.

Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.

The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
way !!

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.


No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!

Sky, who'd decline also

P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! VBEG

P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?

--
Ultra Ultimate Kitchen Rule - Use the Timer!
Ultimate Kitchen Rule -- Cook's Choice
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Old 31-05-2008, 01:50 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation


"Dave Smith" wrote

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.


You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!

It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!

nancy
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Old 31-05-2008, 02:16 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

Sky wrote:



Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.

The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could
not attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled
and asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of
wine. So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no
way !!

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.


No Kidding!!!! Yeesh, some people! To invite someone to a party, then
to beg for the 'diggles' (high-priced ones too, at that) is a bit beyond
typical etiquette in my books. I agree - a potluck dinner is one thing,
but beef tenderloin roasts for 20 is something else!

Sky, who'd decline also

P.S. I'm surprised the hostess didn't also request sterling silver
tableware and lead crystal wine glasses in addition! VBEG

P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?


She phoned back to check the date and then said that she didn't realize that
she as sorry but could not make it because her husband was throwing a party
for her that night. And that was true, though the decision for their party was
made later. It seems that chef's wife then called another neighbour and asked
her to bring the things that she had earlier asked our friend to bring. More
nerve than a tooth ache eh.



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Old 31-05-2008, 02:18 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

Nancy Young wrote:

"You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!

It's good for a laugh if it's not happening to you. I'm glad your
friend got out of it. Amazing concept, you throw a party and get
your guests to pay for it *and* do all the work!


And to do it on such a grand scale. I would throw a lot more parties if I had
the cojones to expect neighbours I hardly know to put out big bucks to feed my
friends.





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Old 31-05-2008, 02:22 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
aem aem is offline
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Default How's this for an invitation

On May 30, 5:50*pm, "Nancy Young" wrote:

You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. *Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? *Still. *But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? *Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill! *


Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party. Then again, the
chef's wife just may be thoughtless. I guess my point is to not be
too quick to lambaste her on the basis of a second or third hand
report. Misunderstandings between neighbors have spawned a lot of
case studies for sociologists and lawyers. -aem
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Old 31-05-2008, 02:36 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
aem aem is offline
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Default How's this for an invitation

On May 30, 6:27*pm, Nina wrote:

I just think it's pretty outrageous to ask someone to bring something
*and* specify exactly what it will be, more than the specific cost of
it. *I mean, it's reasonable to say, "bring a dish for 20 people" or
even "bring a salad or whatever for 20 people". *It's a little less
reasonable to say, I want you to make exactly this dish and bring it
with exactly this wine.


Sure, in most cases, but we don't really know the specifics here. In
particular, we don't know what the chef's wife had in mind for this
whole party. Chefs by nature have to controlling personalities, maybe
their wives are, too. g

I've certainly been asked to bring a specific dish to a potluck/
party. That's not so unusual. The wine selection is usually asked
more subtly..... -aem


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Old 31-05-2008, 02:41 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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"aem" wrote

On May 30, 5:50 pm, "Nancy Young" wrote:

You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!


Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party.


And when that didn't work out, she thought the other neighbor was
close enough to welcome that role?

I've seen crazy stories like this before. People throwing a party in
a restaurant, then when it was over, dividing the bill among the
surprised "guests" ... things like that.

nancy
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Old 31-05-2008, 02:44 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

Dave Smith wrote:
I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one
red and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked
her to bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is
also our friend's birthday.



I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.




That's so rudely over-the-top that I'd consider it insulting.

Since the husband is a chef, they could at least have offered to
buy the meat and ask your friend to cook it. Otherwise they are
asking your friend to provide a party for them.

Is this common in their neighborhood?

gloria p

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Old 31-05-2008, 02:45 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

On Fri, 30 May 2008 19:51:03 -0400, Dave Smith
fired up random neurons and synapses to
opine:

snip

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an
"invitation to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem
with a pot luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20
people plus $40 worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.

That was not an invitation, IMHO. That was a request for your friend
to cater the dinner for free.

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines

To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"






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Old 31-05-2008, 02:59 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
Sky Sky is offline
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Default How's this for an invitation

Dave Smith wrote:

Sky wrote:

(snippers)

P.P.S. How did your friend find a nice way to decline?


She phoned back to check the date and then said that she didn't realize that
she as sorry but could not make it because her husband was throwing a party
for her that night. And that was true, though the decision for their party was
made later. It seems that chef's wife then called another neighbour and asked
her to bring the things that she had earlier asked our friend to bring. More
nerve than a tooth ache eh.


Heh, I think I'd rather have dinner with a dentist than that particular
chef or chef's wife!

Sky

--
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Old 31-05-2008, 03:15 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

On Fri 30 May 2008 04:51:03p, Dave Smith told us...

I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of
her neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and
her husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef
family had been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a
quick roasted beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.


The chef's wife is nothing but a conniving cheap bitch! I'd see her in hell
before I'd get sucked into that.

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Friday, 05(V)/30(XXX)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
If at first you don't succeed, work
for Microsoft.
-------------------------------------------



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Old 31-05-2008, 03:28 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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"Nancy Young" wrote in message
. ..

"aem" wrote
On May 30, 5:50 pm, "Nancy Young" wrote:

You hear stories like this and every time you do it's just as
incredible. Okay, I think asking to bring the main course is
weird, but maybe if she'd offered to pay for it? Still. But then,
telling her what wines to bring?? Hello, pick it up yourself, that
takes no skill!


Stories like this are confusing. At first glance they may seem
outrageous, but there can be mitigating circumstances. For one thing,
"lovely home in a nice neighborhood" may mean they all have plenty of
money and $200 as the cost of contributing to a special party for her
husband may seem insignificant to the chef's wife. For another, wives
sometimes misjudge how close the friendship is between their husbands
and third parties. She may have thought they were close enough that
they'd welcome a big role in this surprise party.


And when that didn't work out, she thought the other neighbor was
close enough to welcome that role?

I've seen crazy stories like this before. People throwing a party in
a restaurant, then when it was over, dividing the bill among the
surprised "guests" ... things like that.
nancy


ugh. I have had that happen. At a steak place that was well over my budget.
I was invited to a 'party' I ate a baked potato and salad (At the time I
wasn't eating animal products) and then they took the bill and split it 10
ways. I ended up paying 3X as much as I would have if I just had paid my
own bill. I was young and didn't say anything. I would now.


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Old 31-05-2008, 03:29 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation


"Dave Smith" wrote in message
m...
I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of her
neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and her
husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef family had
been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a quick roasted
beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one red
and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked her to
bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is also our
friend's birthday.


Current prices for a whole beef tenderloin around her are about $80. The
wines turn out to be $20 a piece. My friend was not thrilled. She
discussed it with her husband, who said screw that we'll have our own
party her for that money. She called back the chef's wife, clarified the
date..... ooops sorry. I didn't know that my husband had planned a party
for me here on that night so sorry, but we can't make it.

The next day she got a call from another neighbour asking if she was
attending the party. Our friend said they had been invited but could not
attend because her husband was having a party for her. It seems that
chef's wife had called the other neighbour after our friend canceled and
asked her to bring the two beef tenderloins... and two bottles of wine.
So our friend asked the other neighbour if she was going...... no way !!

I have to hand to to our friend that she was able to find a nice way to
decline the invitation. I am not sure how I would react to an "invitation
to a party" that is going to cost me $200. I have no problem with a pot
luck, but being expected to supply beef tenderloin for 20 people plus $40
worth of wine is a bit much, IMHO.




ugh, next thing you know the "chef" will want to hold the party at your
friends house.


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Old 31-05-2008, 03:39 AM posted to rec.food.cooking
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Default How's this for an invitation

"Dave Smith" wrote

I have a friend who is a wonderful kind woman, not much of a cook, but
really nice, and lives in a lovely home in a nice neighbourhood. One of her
neighbour's is a chef. The chef's wife called and invited her and her
husband to a party for her chef husband. Our friend and the chef family had
been to a party at my brother's where my nephew had cooked a quick roasted
beef tenderloin fir a short time in a very hot oven.

Chef's wife extended this invitation to my friend and asked if she could
bring that dish. She also asked her to bring two bottles of wine, one red
and one white. She specified which wines. Then chef's wife asked her to
bring enough of the meat dish for 20. The date of the party is also our
friend's birthday.


First mistake. There are potlucks, and there are acceptable limits. You
just do not tag a person to a meal for *your party* then tell them what to
bring. Especially 'pork loin for 20 plus wine'.

Friend dove out well but someone needs to bop that neighbor on the head with
a 'Ms Manners' book.




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