For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
curious to know how it sits with you.

For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
complimentary.

I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
place where you break some real bread?

Karen

Karen wrote:
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen

As a child it was never an issue with us. We never lived near family so
if we got together it was an entire logistical traveling event unto
itself. We always had friends come to our home or us go to their's for
TG and no one did any other meals that day.
Given my druthers, I think I'd rather alternate years or days for
special meals with family members than have only a couple of hours
together and an already sated appetite by the time they arrive to my table.

Karen wrote:
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen


I agree. It's fine to stop a few places and visit with people, but
dinner should be enjoyed at one place only. If the other relatives
don't agree and demand you eat, say a polite but firm "It was nice to
see you. Goodbye."

How much turkey can any one person put away, anyway?

gloria p

Karen wrote:
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen

This was always the worst part of the holiday season (not that there's any
good part, IMHO). When I was married (1981) we had to eat at his mom's
house. Her dressing was the worst, runniest stuff you've ever seen.
Dressing isn't supposed to be so thin you can run a spoon through it.

After that we went to his granparents house. I loved them. They were a
sweet couple and she made a wonderful meal. I actually ate there. But I
don't eat much.

I get tired of people telling me I need to eat more. Sorry, I'm full. No
thanks, I don't want any pie. No thanks, I'm full. Leave me alone!

Then we had to go to his uncles' house. They were so busy showing off all
the catered food they had in their expensive house. And of course his wife
(no idea what she did) was too busy to cook. So I made a show of eating a
few pieces of whatever, just get me the hell out of here.

Then we hit the slums. An aunt's house. The living room and bedroom were
separated by a clothes line and some sheets. Ever see the BW film 'It
Happened One Night' with Clarke Gable and Claudette Colbert? This was their
apartment. Where she lived with her 3 unruly teenage kids. Thankfully I
wasn't asked to eat there. I'd have called in a health inspector first.

Somewhere in the middle of all this we also ate a little at my parents
house, and it was a formal sit-down dinner thing. I do recall Mom made
instant mashed potatoes. Eeeek! She did serve real butter instead of
margarine, Holidays were the only time she ever had butter. She grew up in
the oleo (give me that packet to make it yellow!) years.

I hate the holidays. Come on 2008!

Karen wrote:
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?

I know people do this, I've done it myself on New Year's Eve (make the
rounds), stop in to offer well wishes with a gift of vino for the
host, to share a drinky and some snacks, stay an hour and move down
the list to the next friend/neighbor eventually hoping to end up at
midnight at the joint with the gal with whom you want share some
bubbly and a few fond fondles. But there is no sit down dinner, just
help yourself smorgesbord foods (snackipoos). For a sit down dinner
by invitation it's unconsciousable to accept multiple invites and then
hop around seeking out the best vittles from various hosts... that's
called being a parasite. One should be able to always recognize these
feral beasts, they're the ones you've noticed on previous occasions
that never brought a gift for the host but always leave with a care
package... btw, contributing a dish for the group is not a gift for
the host, and if one does bring a gift for the host it is extemely
rude for the host to serve it to the guests on that particular
occasion). There is really only one way to remedy this abominable
behavior, never ever invite those disgusting douchebags again. And if
you do continue to invite those professional schnorrers then
quitchabitchin.

Sheldon

jmcquown wrote:

> This was always the worst part of the holiday season (not that there's any
> good part, IMHO). When I was married (1981) we had to eat at his mom's
> house. Her dressing was the worst, runniest stuff you've ever seen.
> Dressing isn't supposed to be so thin you can run a spoon through it.
>
> After that we went to his granparents house. I loved them. They were a
> sweet couple and she made a wonderful meal. I actually ate there. But I
> don't eat much.
>
> I get tired of people telling me I need to eat more. Sorry, I'm full. No
> thanks, I don't want any pie. No thanks, I'm full. Leave me alone!
>
> Then we had to go to his uncles' house. They were so busy showing off all
> the catered food they had in their expensive house. And of course his wife
> (no idea what she did) was too busy to cook. So I made a show of eating a
> few pieces of whatever, just get me the hell out of here.
>
> Then we hit the slums. An aunt's house. The living room and bedroom were
> separated by a clothes line and some sheets. Ever see the BW film 'It
> Happened One Night' with Clarke Gable and Claudette Colbert? This was their
> apartment. Where she lived with her 3 unruly teenage kids. Thankfully I
> wasn't asked to eat there. I'd have called in a health inspector first.

Even his own family couldn't figure out how to join forces and share ONE
meal together? How sad is that?

On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 12:07:41 -0800 (PST), Karen >
wrote:

>For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>curious to know how it sits with you.
>
>For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
>guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
>having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
>complimentary.
>
>I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
>sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
>place where you break some real bread?
>
I don't have a problem with it, as long as I'm the last stop so they
can stay a while. Son's SO's family has always done festivities
early, I've always done it late... so they visit both places and no
one is making accommodations. They have to travel, not me and
everybody is happy.

Daughter lost the coin toss over who drove home a couple of weeks ago,
so they decided to spend the night last night. It's better that way.
They can relax, drink and not have to drive an hour to get home.


--
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remove the smiley face first

Oh pshaw, on Fri 23 Nov 2007 01:07:41p, Karen meant to say...

> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen

I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.

--
Date: Fri, 11(XI)/23(XXIII)/07(MMVII)

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Countdown 'til Christmas
4wks 1dys 9hrs
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Goomba38 wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
>> This was always the worst part of the holiday season (not that
>> there's any good part, IMHO). When I was married (1981) we had to
>> eat at his mom's house. Her dressing was the worst, runniest stuff
>> you've ever seen. Dressing isn't supposed to be so thin you can run
>> a spoon through it.
>>
>> After that we went to his granparents house. I loved them. They
>> were a sweet couple and she made a wonderful meal. I actually ate
>> there. But I don't eat much.
>>
>> I get tired of people telling me I need to eat more. Sorry, I'm
>> full. No thanks, I don't want any pie. No thanks, I'm full. Leave
>> me alone!
>>
>> Then we had to go to his uncles' house. They were so busy showing
>> off all the catered food they had in their expensive house. And of
>> course his wife (no idea what she did) was too busy to cook. So I
>> made a show of eating a few pieces of whatever, just get me the hell
>> out of here.
>>
>> Then we hit the slums. An aunt's house. The living room and
>> bedroom were separated by a clothes line and some sheets. Ever see
>> the BW film 'It Happened One Night' with Clarke Gable and Claudette
>> Colbert? This was their apartment. Where she lived with her 3
>> unruly teenage kids. Thankfully I wasn't asked to eat there. I'd
>> have called in a health inspector first.
>
> Even his own family couldn't figure out how to join forces and share
> ONE meal together? How sad is that?

Family is much overrated. There is no law that says you have to get along
with (or even *like*) people who are related to you. I loved his
grandparents, though

jmcquown wrote:

> Family is much overrated. There is no law that says you have to get along
> with (or even *like*) people who are related to you. I loved his
> grandparents, though
>
You're right, no law. But if you're lucky or perhaps also work at it,
you have lifelong friends who happen to share the same DNA. You don't
ever have to sit alone at home. You have built in playmates and
celebrants to share life's events with and folks to lean on when things
aren't so good. I find I treasure my family more and more as I get older.

On Nov 23, 3:13 pm, Sheldon > wrote:
> Karen wrote:
> > For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> > curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> > For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> > guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> > having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> > complimentary.
>
> > I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> > sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> > place where you break some real bread?
>
> I know people do this, I've done it myself on New Year's Eve (make the
> rounds), stop in to offer well wishes with a gift of vino for the
> host, to share a drinky and some snacks, stay an hour and move down
> the list to the next friend/neighbor eventually hoping to end up at
> midnight at the joint with the gal with whom you want share some
> bubbly and a few fond fondles.

Just don't get too drunk to fondle.
>
> Sheldon

--Bryan

Goomba38 wrote:
> jmcquown wrote:
>
>> Family is much overrated. There is no law that says you have to get
>> along with (or even *like*) people who are related to you. I loved
>> his grandparents, though
>>
> You're right, no law. But if you're lucky or perhaps also work at it,
> you have lifelong friends who happen to share the same DNA. You don't
> ever have to sit alone at home. You have built in playmates and
> celebrants to share life's events with and folks to lean on when
> things aren't so good. I find I treasure my family more and more as I
> get older.

Ah, but I enjoy solitude and a good book. I've got a nice fire crackling in
the fireplace right now and no one turns on the TV unless I want it on.
It's so peaceful!

In article
>,
Karen > wrote:

> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?


Perhaps. When I was young kid, my cousin got married. I had no clue
that he had TG obligations elsewhere. He always had eaten with us.

On Nov 23, 4:01 pm, "jmcquown" > wrote:
> Ah, but I enjoy solitude and a good book. I've got a nice fire crackling in
> the fireplace right now and no one turns on the TV unless I want it on.
> It's so peaceful!

Family's great and all that, but I thinik a lot of people are grateful
for our each little corner to retreat to on the day after Thanksgiving
(and the day after other holidays, weddings, funerals, etc.)

Karen

"Karen" > wrote in message
...
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?

I can see it if the person calls ahead and says they are just coming for
dessert or just coming to visit and not going to eat. But I know some
people eat dinner at several houses and that just seems rude.

Julie Bove > wrote:

>I can see it if the person calls ahead and says they are just coming for
>dessert or just coming to visit and not going to eat. But I know some
>people eat dinner at several houses and that just seems rude.

It can be rude, depending on how it's approached. But a
contributing part of the problem is too many dinner hosts
insisting upon holding a large group dinner exactly on Thanksgiving
day. I think it would be better if more people spread things around
and held their holiday dinners on alternate days so that
more people could see more of their friends/family at such
a dinner. There are, after all, four days in Thanksgiving
weekend any one of which is suitable for having folks over
for dinner.

Steve

Karen wrote:

> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.

The only one who does it much is my youngest sister, but I don't mind
much. I plan for dinner to be much later than her in-laws anyway, and
she much prefers the meal that I and the helpers put together.

This year she ended cooking the meal for that group, so no hopping for
her.



Brian

--
If televison's a babysitter, the Internet is a drunk librarian who
won't shut up.
-- Dorothy Gambrell (http://catandgirl.com)

On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 12:07:41 -0800 (PST), Karen >
wrote:

>For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>curious to know how it sits with you.
>
>For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
>guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
>having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
>complimentary.
>
>I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
>sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
>place where you break some real bread?
>
>Karen

Quit your whining. You had more left over food to eat on Friday, and
still got to see your guests......

I did a little hopping myself. I was invited to a friends place, and
they dont make turkey, they make venison. They know I cant stand
venison, so I tell them outright that I am going to a local church
that has a free thanksgiving dinner for anyone who wants to come. I
go there and eat my turkey, then I go by my friends to visit, have a
beer and eat pie. They dont mind, and that church has one heck of a
large and good traditional dinner for totally free, (donations
accepted and appreciated). I do this every year. It's not an issue.

"Default User" > wrote in message
...
> Karen wrote:
>
>> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>> curious to know how it sits with you.

Depends on circumstances. Often, the families are hurt if their kids don't
come, thus forcing them to either choose one side or to visit one set of
parents early, the other set later. We always went to my in-laws for
dinner at noon, then to my mother's for a light dinner at 5. Frankly, it
was a PITA most times.

My daughter is 2500 miles away so we don't expect her family. My son is 30
miles away, but potentially has the same obligation to visit both places, so
we set him free and told him to go to her family guild free. For the past
five years we gone to a friend's place for dinner, usually five or six of
us.. No stress.

On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 02:15:00 GMT, "Julie Bove" >
wrote:

>But I know some
>people eat dinner at several houses and that just seems rude.

I can't get over this "it's rude" attitude. Are you people the type
that has a garage sale and is shocked by someone haggling a price?

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sf wrote:
> On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 02:15:00 GMT, "Julie Bove" >
> wrote:
>
>> But I know some
>> people eat dinner at several houses and that just seems rude.
>
> I can't get over this "it's rude" attitude. Are you people the type
> that has a garage sale and is shocked by someone haggling a price?
>
I've held one garage sale in my life and was shocked by the greed of
people. They didn't want a great deal, they wanted things for free!
Rude, rude, rude! I decided then that I'd rather give my stuff away and
take the tax deduction then to work so hard to reward their greed.

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 08:39:52a, Janet Baraclough meant to say...

> The message 4>
> from Wayne Boatwright > contains these words:
>
>
>> I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.
>
> Me too. Along with hosts issuing partial invitations which offer
> different levels of hospitality to their guests. Such as " pre-dinner
> drinks ( "you're not getting any dinner, just entertain my dinner guests
> while I get it ready for them ") and "wedding invitation (ceremony
> only)" ( You're not invited to anything after the ceremony, like the
> reception/party/dance, but we're still hoping for a big present).
>
> Janet.
>
>
>

Thank you, Janet. I fear we are both in the "inflexible" minority. :-)

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: Sat, 11(XI)/24(XXIV)/07(MMVII)

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4wks 13hrs 15mins
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*******************************************

"Janet Baraclough" > wrote in message
...
> The message 4>
> from Wayne Boatwright > contains these words:
>
>
>> I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.
>
> Me too. Along with hosts issuing partial invitations which offer
> different levels of hospitality to their guests. Such as " pre-dinner
> drinks ( "you're not getting any dinner, just entertain my dinner guests
> while I get it ready for them ") and "wedding invitation (ceremony
> only)" ( You're not invited to anything after the ceremony, like the
> reception/party/dance, but we're still hoping for a big present).
>
> Janet.

OK I'll agree on the pre-dinner drinks, but, if you have a commitment to
your mother, I may suggest stopping at my place later in the evening for
dessert. Long after dinner, mom may be happy that you are on the way out so
she can get some rest.

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 09:09:54a, meant to say...

> On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 02:15:00 GMT, "Julie Bove" >
> wrote:
>
>>But I know some
>>people eat dinner at several houses and that just seems rude.
>
> I can't get over this "it's rude" attitude. Are you people the type
> that has a garage sale and is shocked by someone haggling a price?
>

What I find rude about the meal or party hopping, is the casualness that
some people take towards a specific "formal" invitation to a dinner that
would be considered for the duration of the day or specified time frame.

The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big way. I
invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party for the
evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of the dinner no
one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu. After nearly two
hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn that the 4 of them had
decided to do something else that evening. Needless to say, they never
received another invitation.

All was not a total loss, however. I immediately called some very close
friends, explained what had happened, and asked if they would like to come
over to share a late supper. They were happy to do so, and we had a very
nice evening.

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: Saturday, Nov 24,2007

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On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:15:13 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>Oh pshaw, on Fri 23 Nov 2007 01:07:41p, Karen meant to say...
>
>> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>> curious to know how it sits with you.
>>
>> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
>> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
>> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
>> complimentary.
>>
>> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
>> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
>> place where you break some real bread?
>>
>> Karen
>
>I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.

calling dave's niece!

your pal,
blake

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 12:25:40p, blake murphy meant to say...

> On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:15:13 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
>>Oh pshaw, on Fri 23 Nov 2007 01:07:41p, Karen meant to say...
>>
>>> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>>> curious to know how it sits with you.
>>>
>>> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
>>> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
>>> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
>>> complimentary.
>>>
>>> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
>>> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
>>> place where you break some real bread?
>>>
>>> Karen
>>
>>I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.
>
> calling dave's niece!
>
> your pal,
> blake
>

Souie! Souie!

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: Saturday, Nov(XI) 24(XXIV),2007(MMVII)

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Karen wrote:
> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.

Not well. I don't do it, and I don't like having it done to me, but
I don't try to stop my guests from doing this. I serve dinner when
I say I'm going to (I do *not* wait for late guests), and if they
want to eat and then go eat again, it's their lookout. I really
prefer, though, the time I get with friends who come, eat, and then
have the time to hang out and socialize with us.

For years, we had an "Orphans' Thanksgiving" (objections about the
name should be filed in your "Serene's heard this one before" file),
and there was a trio of friends who would go to three Thanksgivings
including ours. I felt like they weren't getting the point, which
was to provide a home-like atmosphere for people who had nowhere
else to have Thanksgiving dinner that day.

Serene

Wayne Boatwright wrote:

> The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
> have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big way. I
> invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party for the
> evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of the dinner no
> one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu. After nearly two
> hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn that the 4 of them had
> decided to do something else that evening. Needless to say, they never
> received another invitation.
>
Ohmygawd. I would be LIVID! What inconsideration...but even worse
because it was multiplied by four. Did they ever mention it or make amends?

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 12:24:14p, Janet Baraclough meant to say...

> The message 4>
> from Wayne Boatwright > contains these words:
>
>> Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 08:39:52a, Janet Baraclough meant to say...
>
>> > The message 4>
>> > from Wayne Boatwright > contains these words:
>> >
>> >
>> >> I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.
>> >
>> > Me too. Along with hosts issuing partial invitations which offer
>> > different levels of hospitality to their guests. Such as " pre-dinner
>> > drinks ( "you're not getting any dinner, just entertain my dinner
guests
>> > while I get it ready for them ") and "wedding invitation (ceremony
>> > only)" ( You're not invited to anything after the ceremony, like the
>> > reception/party/dance, but we're still hoping for a big present).
>> >
>> > Janet.
>> >
>> >
>> >
>
>> Thank you, Janet. I fear we are both in the "inflexible" minority. :-)
>
> Nah, I bend over backwards to avoid those people :-)
>
> Janet
>

I, as well.

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: 11/24/07

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Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 12:35:58p, Goomba38 meant to say...

> Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>
>> The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
>> have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big
>> way. I invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party
>> for the evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of
>> the dinner no one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu.
>> After nearly two hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn
>> that the 4 of them had decided to do something else that evening.
>> Needless to say, they never received another invitation.
>>
> Ohmygawd. I would be LIVID! What inconsideration...but even worse
> because it was multiplied by four. Did they ever mention it or make
> amends?
>

They "claimed" they interpreted it as a casual "stop by for dinner if you
can" sort of invitation. It clearly was not. They barely apologized and
abruptly dropped the subject. It never came up again, nor did they make
amends in any way. I saw them socially on occasion after that, but NEVER
at my house.

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: 11/24/07

*******************************************
Countdown 'til Christmas
4wks 11hrs 30mins
*******************************************
There is an absolute truth, but
language fails miserably.
*******************************************

blake murphy wrote:
> On Fri, 23 Nov 2007 22:15:13 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
>> Oh pshaw, on Fri 23 Nov 2007 01:07:41p, Karen meant to say...
>>
>>> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
>>> curious to know how it sits with you.
>>>
>>> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
>>> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
>>> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
>>> complimentary.
>>>
>>> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
>>> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
>>> place where you break some real bread?
>>>
>>> Karen
>>
>> I dislike dinner hopping and party hopping. I think it's rude.
>
> calling dave's niece!

LOL

On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 18:16:21 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>What I find rude about the meal or party hopping, is the casualness that
>some people take towards a specific "formal" invitation to a dinner that
>would be considered for the duration of the day or specified time frame.
>
I usually know when people have more than one place to visit so it
doesn't bother me. They can take a plate or just sit and converse. I
don't care, just let me know so I can plan accordingly.

>The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
>have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big way. I
>invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party for the
>evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of the dinner no
>one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu. After nearly two
>hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn that the 4 of them had
>decided to do something else that evening.

Now, that's *rude*! Nothing like that has ever happened to me (knock
wood). We've stopped inviting certain relatives because their last
minute "illnesses" got to be predictable and tiresome. Our parties
were getting smaller, so we stopped inviting them when it began to
make a difference if they showed up or not.

>Needless to say, they never received another invitation.

I don't think I'd ever speak to them after that.
>
>All was not a total loss, however. I immediately called some very close
>friends, explained what had happened, and asked if they would like to come
>over to share a late supper. They were happy to do so, and we had a very
>nice evening.

All's well that ends well. By the end of the evening you knew who
your real friends were.

--
See return address to reply by email
remove the smiley face first

In article
>,
Karen > wrote:

> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen

Wouldn't bother me a bit, though I'd like to hear *exactly* (both sides)
how the conversation went, the invitation and the acceptance, to know
who said what and how. Since 3/4 of the meal is food that I enjoy
eating, if the shorttimer didn't eat or didn't eat much, I'd view it as
more for me to enjoy later. Especially if the shorttimer was someone I
felt pressured to include in the first place.

I think it's probably harder for young (especially) families to manage
things especially if they live in mortal fear of offending someone (Mom,
Grandma, Aunt) if they opt out of Auntie Hepzibah's feast, deciding
instead to go to The Other Side's relatives. Families often have more
than one set of grandparents per side due to divorce and remarriage and
trying to please everybody has to be a nightmare. They are damned if
they do and damned if they don't.

As I age I'm getting to be more in favor of, "Here's where I'll be and
if you want to come for a visit and dinner, let me know and I'll fix
something." And if no one takes me up on it, I can sleep until 7:30
with a clear conscience. :-)

Favorite Daughter decided several years ago, at the appearance of Small
Child, that she would host Thanksgiving dinner celebration, that both
sides of the family would be invited, and that we would celebrate Small
Child's natal anniversary in the same visit so she wouldn't have to
endure it all twice in 2-1/2 weeks. Reasonable enough to me.

I think a lot of our misery is self-imposed in an attempt to create a
Normal Rockwell picture. Unfortunately, our society no longer looks
like the one he drew from, and when people are doing the best they can,
I try to cut some slack. I don't need to be The Place where they stuff
themselves to make me feel good.

Try to please everyone and you'll often please no one.
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
Notes about our meals in Tuscany have been posted to
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com; 10-16-2007

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 01:05:32p, meant to say...

> On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 18:16:21 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
>>What I find rude about the meal or party hopping, is the casualness
>>that some people take towards a specific "formal" invitation to a dinner
>>that would be considered for the duration of the day or specified time
>>frame.
>>
> I usually know when people have more than one place to visit so it
> doesn't bother me. They can take a plate or just sit and converse. I
> don't care, just let me know so I can plan accordingly.

I guess I take my planning with less flexibility. :-) If I invite 6 or 8
for a dinner party, I expect 6 or 8, not 4 or 10, and for the duration.

>>The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
>>have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big way.
>> I invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party for
>>the evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of the
>>dinner no one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu. After
>>nearly two hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn that the
>>4 of them had decided to do something else that evening.
>
> Now, that's *rude*! Nothing like that has ever happened to me (knock
> wood). We've stopped inviting certain relatives because their last
> minute "illnesses" got to be predictable and tiresome. Our parties
> were getting smaller, so we stopped inviting them when it began to
> make a difference if they showed up or not.
>
>>Needless to say, they never received another invitation.
>
> I don't think I'd ever speak to them after that.

I was tempted, but it was hard to avoid.

>>
>>All was not a total loss, however. I immediately called some very close
>>friends, explained what had happened, and asked if they would like to
>>come over to share a late supper. They were happy to do so, and we had
>>a very nice evening.
>
> All's well that ends well. By the end of the evening you knew who
> your real friends were.
>

You're absolutely right!

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: Sat, 11/24/2007

*******************************************
Countdown 'til Christmas
4wks 11hrs
*******************************************
D.A.D.D. - Daddies Against Dirty Diapers
*******************************************

On Nov 24, 1:46 pm, Wayne Boatwright > wrote:
> Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 12:35:58p, Goomba38 meant to say...
>
> > Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>
> >> The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when they
> >> have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big
> >> way. I invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party
> >> for the evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of
> >> the dinner no one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu.
> >> After nearly two hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn
> >> that the 4 of them had decided to do something else that evening.
> >> Needless to say, they never received another invitation.
>
> > Ohmygawd. I would be LIVID! What inconsideration...but even worse
> > because it was multiplied by four. Did they ever mention it or make
> > amends?
>
> They "claimed" they interpreted it as a casual "stop by for dinner if you
> can" sort of invitation. It clearly was not. They barely apologized and
> abruptly dropped the subject. It never came up again, nor did they make
> amends in any way. I saw them socially on occasion after that, but NEVER
> at my house.

You should have named names.
This is a pretty funny public exchange that took place in StL's local
tabloid:

http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...rs-column/full
and my reply:
http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...rs-column/full

Glenn's original letter was in response to the paper suggesting our
show as a place to be:
http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...appenings/full

Of course, I am "a vindictive son of a bitch"
>
> --
> Wayne Boatwright
>

--Bryan

Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 03:00:59p, Bobo Bonobo(R) meant to say...

> On Nov 24, 1:46 pm, Wayne Boatwright > wrote:
>> Oh pshaw, on Sat 24 Nov 2007 12:35:58p, Goomba38 meant to say...
>>
>> > Wayne Boatwright wrote:
>>
>> >> The only thing worse is invitees simply not showing up at all when
they
>> >> have accepted an invitation. This has happened once to me in a big
>> >> way. I invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner
party
>> >> for the evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of
>> >> the dinner no one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu.
>> >> After nearly two hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn
>> >> that the 4 of them had decided to do something else that evening.
>> >> Needless to say, they never received another invitation.
>>
>> > Ohmygawd. I would be LIVID! What inconsideration...but even worse
>> > because it was multiplied by four. Did they ever mention it or make
>> > amends?
>>
>> They "claimed" they interpreted it as a casual "stop by for dinner if
you
>> can" sort of invitation. It clearly was not. They barely apologized
and
>> abruptly dropped the subject. It never came up again, nor did they make
>> amends in any way. I saw them socially on occasion after that, but
NEVER
>> at my house.
>
> You should have named names.
> This is a pretty funny public exchange that took place in StL's local
> tabloid:
>
> http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...rs-column/full
> and my reply:
> http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...rs-column/full
>
> Glenn's original letter was in response to the paper suggesting our
> show as a place to be:
> http://www.riverfronttimes.com/2006-...appenings/full
>
> Of course, I am "a vindictive son of a bitch"
>>
>> --
>> Wayne Boatwright
>>
>
> --Bryan

Can't say that I blame you! :-)

--
Wayne Boatwright

Date: Sat, 11(XI)/24(XXIV)/07(MMVII)

*******************************************
Countdown 'til Christmas
4wks 8hrs 45mins
*******************************************
Find out what you can't do and don't
do it! (Alf)
*******************************************

Melba's Jammin' wrote:

>
> I think a lot of our misery is self-imposed in an attempt to create a
> Normal Rockwell picture. Unfortunately, our society no longer looks
> like the one he drew from, and when people are doing the best they can,
> I try to cut some slack. I don't need to be The Place where they stuff
> themselves to make me feel good.
>
> Try to please everyone and you'll often please no one.



Especially yourself because eventually you will step back and say "Why
the h*ll did I bother?" I often find that compromises please no one and
annoy everyone involved.

gloria p

In article >,
Melba's Jammin' > wrote:


> I think it's probably harder for young (especially) families to manage
> things especially if they live in mortal fear of offending someone (Mom,
> Grandma, Aunt) if they opt out of Auntie Hepzibah's feast, deciding
> instead to go to The Other Side's relatives. Families often have more
> than one set of grandparents per side due to divorce and remarriage and
> trying to please everybody has to be a nightmare. They are damned if
> they do and damned if they don't.

Yeah.



> I think a lot of our misery is self-imposed in an attempt to create a
> Normal Rockwell picture. Unfortunately, our society no longer looks
> like the one he drew from

It never worked that way. I still remember when my older cousin didn't
show. It didn't take too long to figure out that since he had gotten
married, that maybe his wife's family were expecting them. There
doesn't have to be any divorce and remarriage, a simple marriage is
enough. I think marriage comes under the Norman Rockwell umbrella.

Most people get married. It isn't that unusual.

On Sat, 24 Nov 2007 03:18:40 -0600, fired up
random neurons and synapses to opine:

>I did a little hopping myself. I was invited to a friends place, and
>they dont make turkey, they make venison. They know I cant stand
>venison, so I tell them outright that I am going to a local church
>that has a free thanksgiving dinner for anyone who wants to come. I
>go there and eat my turkey, then I go by my friends to visit, have a
>beer and eat pie. They dont mind, and that church has one heck of a
>large and good traditional dinner for totally free, (donations
>accepted and appreciated).

So, do you make a donation?

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines


To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"

Wayne Boatwright wrote:
> This has happened once to me in a big way. I
> invited 4 friends, who knew each other well, to a dinner party for the
> evening. They all accepted with delight. On the evening of the dinner no
> one showed up. I had planned a fairly elaborate menu. After nearly two
> hours had passed, I called one of the party to learn that the 4 of them had
> decided to do something else that evening. Needless to say, they never
> received another invitation.


Wow. You tell the story with such equanimity. I'd still be furious.
Did you ever run into them again? Did they ever wonder about your
coolness? It would be great if there could be some sort of retribution,
something dramatic like where they WANT an invitation to your house and
realize they can never get one.


--Lia