In article
>,
Karen > wrote:

> For those who have done this, or have had guests who do this, I am
> curious to know how it sits with you.
>
> For cooks who slave the entire day (me), I really don't appreciate a
> guest who has made two prior stops for Thanksgiving dinner prior to
> having dinner with me. A guest who isn't very hungry is really
> complimentary.
>
> I understand the blended families, or couples who want to visit both
> sides of the family, or this and that, but shouldn't one stop be the
> place where you break some real bread?
>
> Karen

Wouldn't bother me a bit, though I'd like to hear *exactly* (both sides)
how the conversation went, the invitation and the acceptance, to know
who said what and how. Since 3/4 of the meal is food that I enjoy
eating, if the shorttimer didn't eat or didn't eat much, I'd view it as
more for me to enjoy later. Especially if the shorttimer was someone I
felt pressured to include in the first place.

I think it's probably harder for young (especially) families to manage
things especially if they live in mortal fear of offending someone (Mom,
Grandma, Aunt) if they opt out of Auntie Hepzibah's feast, deciding
instead to go to The Other Side's relatives. Families often have more
than one set of grandparents per side due to divorce and remarriage and
trying to please everybody has to be a nightmare. They are damned if
they do and damned if they don't.

As I age I'm getting to be more in favor of, "Here's where I'll be and
if you want to come for a visit and dinner, let me know and I'll fix
something." And if no one takes me up on it, I can sleep until 7:30
with a clear conscience. :-)

Favorite Daughter decided several years ago, at the appearance of Small
Child, that she would host Thanksgiving dinner celebration, that both
sides of the family would be invited, and that we would celebrate Small
Child's natal anniversary in the same visit so she wouldn't have to
endure it all twice in 2-1/2 weeks. Reasonable enough to me.

I think a lot of our misery is self-imposed in an attempt to create a
Normal Rockwell picture. Unfortunately, our society no longer looks
like the one he drew from, and when people are doing the best they can,
I try to cut some slack. I don't need to be The Place where they stuff
themselves to make me feel good.

Try to please everyone and you'll often please no one.
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
Notes about our meals in Tuscany have been posted to
http://www.jamlady.eboard.com; 10-16-2007