I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
better than mine.

Bon Appétito

~john

In article om>,
"levelwave" > wrote:

> so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.

I've had a few experiences like that. The good news is that you'll
remember it until the day you die. You won't remember yesterday or
tomorrow. So that's the silver lining.

leo

--
<http://web0.greatbasin.net/~leo/>

One time on Usenet, "levelwave" > said:

> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months.

OMG, John! Sorry to hear all that, hope tomorrow is a better cooking
day...

--
Jani in WA

"Little Malice" > wrote

> One time on Usenet, "levelwave" > said:
>
>> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
>> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
>> months.
>
> OMG, John! Sorry to hear all that, hope tomorrow is a better cooking
> day...

Really! John, sit quietly, you're in a bad streak. I'm sorry you
got hurt. Bummer.

nancy

levelwave wrote:
>
> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
> Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
> the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
> damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
> chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
> roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
> save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
> burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
> the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
> Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
> grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
> at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
> Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
> placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
> floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
> causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
> cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
> glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
> cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
> board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
> on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
> this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
> which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
> blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
> deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.
>
> Bon Appétito
>
> ~john

Yikes! It is said that things come in threes.

Sky, who's knocking on wood

levelwave wrote:
> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months.

Wow, what a night! You poor thing.

My last kitchen disaster happened in the driveway. Eight stitches
and permanent nerve damage. Sometimes I think my ex-wife was right
-- we're just asking for trouble when we insist on getting off the
couch and flailing our limbs around.

Serene

In article om>,
"levelwave" > wrote:

> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
> Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
> the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
> damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
> chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
> roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
> save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
> burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
> the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
> Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird

I would have rinsed it off in the sink and returned it to the (wiped
off) pan. What the water didn't take care of, the 400 degree oven would
have. It would have been fine.

Isaac

In article om>,
"levelwave" > wrote:

> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
> Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
> the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
> damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
> chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
> roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
> save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
> burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
> the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
> Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
> grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
> at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
> Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
> placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
> floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
> causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
> cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
> glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
> cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
> board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
> on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
> this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
> which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
> blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
> deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.
>
> Bon Appétito
>
> ~john

Damn, John! Where's the videographer when you need one! LOL!
You poor baby! I don't think kissing the boo-boos will help here; I
think serious medicating is in order ‹ gin with the merest whisper of
vermouth. Jeez, dude, take care of the burns, the cut and the glass
bits. You don't want infections.

Mama loves you.

--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.mac.com/barbschaller - snow pics added 3-3-2007
http://jamlady.eboard.com
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/amytaylor

"levelwave" > wrote in message
ps.com...
I ruined dinner.
disasters snipped
Bon Appétito

~john

Go to bed and stay there until the kitchen gremlins get tired and leave.
It's the only way.
Janet

You should never again for your entire lifetime enter a kitchen for
any reason whatsoever... find a local pub and have them serve you
meals at the bar while you suck down suds to clear your head.

Sheldon

On Mar 6, 10:50�pm, "levelwave" > wrote:
> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
> Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
> the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
> damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
> chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
> roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
> save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
> burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
> the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
> Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
> grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
> at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
> Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
> placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
> floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
> causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
> cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
> glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
> cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
> board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
> on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
> this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
> which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
> blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
> deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.
>
> Bon Appétito
>
> ~john

"levelwave" > wrote in message
ps.com...
I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
better than mine.

Bon Appétito

~john
*******

Ok, but other than that, how was your day.....?

In article om>,
"levelwave" > wrote:

> so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.
>
> Bon Appétito
>
> ~john

Condolences.

Time to treat yourself to dinner _out_!
Or order a pizza...
--
Peace, Om

Remove _ to validate e-mails.

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a Son of a bitch" -- Jack Nicholson

Life has well and truly flipped you the bird, panned your performance,
and ended with cutting re-marks! May tomorrow be a better one for you.

On 6 Mar 2007 19:50:39 -0800, "levelwave" >
wrote:

>blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
>deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
>toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
>better than mine.

You poor thing! I think we've all had days like that...

"Karen AKA Kajikit" > wrote in message
...
> On 6 Mar 2007 19:50:39 -0800, "levelwave" >
> wrote:
>
>>blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
>>deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
>>toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
>>better than mine.
>
> You poor thing! I think we've all had days like that...

Yes. the day I used the pyrex baking dish to cover a pot, then forgot to
turn a burner off, and my husband put the empty pyrex dish on the burner and
I touched it and it exploded, melting into the kitchen carpet (I know, I
know, it came with the house) and becoming imbedded in my cabinets in sharp
little shards. Happily, there was only about one serving of the dish I made
left in the pot, to get covered with broken glass.