You should never again for your entire lifetime enter a kitchen for
any reason whatsoever... find a local pub and have them serve you
meals at the bar while you suck down suds to clear your head.

Sheldon

On Mar 6, 10:50�pm, "levelwave" > wrote:
> I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
> likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
> months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
> Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
> the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
> damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
> chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
> roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
> save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
> burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
> the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
> Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
> grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
> at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
> Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
> placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
> floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
> causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
> cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
> glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
> cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
> board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
> on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
> this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
> which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
> blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
> deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
> toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
> better than mine.
>
> Bon Appétito
>
> ~john