I ruined dinner. I not only ruined dinner, I injured myself and most
likely anyone who walks barefoot into the kitchen for the next three
months. I was on my first flip of Marcella Hazan's "Roast Chicken with
Two Lemons". After 30 minutes you're supposed to take the bird out of
the oven and flip her on her back so the breast is facing up. Well the
damn bird slips through my hands and drops into the pan splashing hot
chicken grease all over me which in turn knocks the heavy Le Cruset
roasting pan completely off the stove. Stupid me drops the bird to
save the... wait for it... wait for it.... 400 degree pan. OUCH. Eight
burnt fingers. The pan lands with a thud on the kitchen floor just as
the falling partially roasted bird plops down beside it with a splat.
Covered in nasty kitchen floor fuzzies I toss the bird, mop up the
grease covered floor and decide if I'm not going to eat dinner I can
at least enjoy my bottle of Pierrier I placed in the freezer earlier.
Well... opening the freezer door wasn't such a good idea. A frozen mug
placed in the door tumbles out and breaks into a million pieces on the
floor... one of those pieces lodges into my flip-flop wearing feet
causing blood to trickle down between my toes. By this point I'm
cussin' up a storm... absolutely disgusted. So I sweep up as much
glass off the kitchen floor as I can, vacuum the rest and start
cleaning up my mess. I'm standing over the sink washing my cutting
board thinking maybe it's time to post my wonderful dinner experience
on r.f.c. So deep in thought I reach for my Chef's knife and, get
this, somehow manage to bump the tip of the blade into the faucet
which causes the knife handle to slip through my hand leaving the
blade of the knife in my grip, cutting my index finger. The cut isn't
deep but it bled... so with cuts on my fingers, glass shards in my
toes and burnt finger tips I'm typing this up. I hope your dinner was
better than mine.

Bon Appétito

~john