On 1/2/2012 4:47 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>
>
> "Cheri" > wrote in message
> ...
>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>
>>> Apparently nobody else here has the same problems that I do. I am
>>> glad it is so easy for them to control their BG. It isn't for me. And
>>> I haven't found the solution yet.
>>
>> Who said it was easy? Personally, I think you're one of those who has
>> taken the EASY way these many years while your health continues to
>> deteriorate. If you actually got down to finding real solutions
>> instead of making excuses at every turn, you would probably find many
>> of them, but it's not easy, especially when you say (very often in
>> fact) that you are "not looking for advice or solutions" so there you
>> have it. JMO
>>
>> Cheri
>
> Cheri, we don't know Julie personally. I feel we should all start taking
> Julie as she is. Probably the bottom line here is that she rarely asks
> for advice but likes to vent. I know its human nature to want to help
> but I feel if a person doesn't ask for help why should they be abused if
> they won't accept unwanted help? On Julie's part I think perhaps you
> *could* (not saying *should*) choose your wording more carefully when
> answering people. Some definitely do mean well, others don't. I
> personally would ignore those I know are only here for the argument and
> perhaps change my answering style for the ones who genuinely do care.
>
> In this thread I personally would have said (if I was in your shoes, and
> of course I'm not) "thanks Wendy, I will look into it" and leave it
> there. For an analogy, we don't ask for Xmas and birthday gifts etc but
> there are two ways we can receive them - with graciousness (whether we
> find the gift useful or whatever) or with an attitude of "why would you
> think I want a gift, especially this one...". The intent of the giver is
> almost always good. In UseNet not always good intent but those people
> are easier to weed out and delete than family and friends
>
> At the end of the day of course, we will all post how we want but I'd
> rather see a bit more tolerance in the groups personally.

Jan, i think you hit the nail on the head. It's the lack of
graciousness and the accusatory fashion that Julie will delve off into
that will get the best of me.... like last night when i didn't agree
with her, so she felt i was angry

no....... not at all, but i did get angry soon after that!

perhaps it's best if i just don't reply to Julie's 'venting'
wait, or bother to read it either

"Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
...
> On 1/2/2012 4:47 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>>
>>
>> "Cheri" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>
>>>> Apparently nobody else here has the same problems that I do. I am
>>>> glad it is so easy for them to control their BG. It isn't for me.
>>>> And
>>>> I haven't found the solution yet.
>>>
>>> Who said it was easy? Personally, I think you're one of those who
>>> has
>>> taken the EASY way these many years while your health continues to
>>> deteriorate. If you actually got down to finding real solutions
>>> instead of making excuses at every turn, you would probably find
>>> many
>>> of them, but it's not easy, especially when you say (very often in
>>> fact) that you are "not looking for advice or solutions" so there
>>> you
>>> have it. JMO
>>>
>>> Cheri
>>
>> Cheri, we don't know Julie personally. I feel we should all start
>> taking
>> Julie as she is. Probably the bottom line here is that she rarely
>> asks
>> for advice but likes to vent. I know its human nature to want to help
>> but I feel if a person doesn't ask for help why should they be abused
>> if
>> they won't accept unwanted help? On Julie's part I think perhaps you
>> *could* (not saying *should*) choose your wording more carefully when
>> answering people. Some definitely do mean well, others don't. I
>> personally would ignore those I know are only here for the argument
>> and
>> perhaps change my answering style for the ones who genuinely do care.
>>
>> In this thread I personally would have said (if I was in your shoes,
>> and
>> of course I'm not) "thanks Wendy, I will look into it" and leave it
>> there. For an analogy, we don't ask for Xmas and birthday gifts etc
>> but
>> there are two ways we can receive them - with graciousness (whether
>> we
>> find the gift useful or whatever) or with an attitude of "why would
>> you
>> think I want a gift, especially this one...". The intent of the giver
>> is
>> almost always good. In UseNet not always good intent but those people
>> are easier to weed out and delete than family and friends
>>
>> At the end of the day of course, we will all post how we want but I'd
>> rather see a bit more tolerance in the groups personally.
>
> Jan, i think you hit the nail on the head. It's the lack of
> graciousness and the accusatory fashion that Julie will delve off into
> that will get the best of me.... like last night when i didn't agree
> with her, so she felt i was angry
>
> no....... not at all, but i did get angry soon after that!
>
> perhaps it's best if i just don't reply to Julie's 'venting'
> wait, or bother to read it either

Remember being told as a child to count to ten before action?
Although I did whack someone in grade 4, put they whacked first...

On 1/2/2012 5:19 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>
>
> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 1/2/2012 4:47 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>> "Cheri" > wrote in message
>>> ...
>>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>
>>>>> Apparently nobody else here has the same problems that I do. I am
>>>>> glad it is so easy for them to control their BG. It isn't for me. And
>>>>> I haven't found the solution yet.
>>>>
>>>> Who said it was easy? Personally, I think you're one of those who has
>>>> taken the EASY way these many years while your health continues to
>>>> deteriorate. If you actually got down to finding real solutions
>>>> instead of making excuses at every turn, you would probably find many
>>>> of them, but it's not easy, especially when you say (very often in
>>>> fact) that you are "not looking for advice or solutions" so there you
>>>> have it. JMO
>>>>
>>>> Cheri
>>>
>>> Cheri, we don't know Julie personally. I feel we should all start taking
>>> Julie as she is. Probably the bottom line here is that she rarely asks
>>> for advice but likes to vent. I know its human nature to want to help
>>> but I feel if a person doesn't ask for help why should they be abused if
>>> they won't accept unwanted help? On Julie's part I think perhaps you
>>> *could* (not saying *should*) choose your wording more carefully when
>>> answering people. Some definitely do mean well, others don't. I
>>> personally would ignore those I know are only here for the argument and
>>> perhaps change my answering style for the ones who genuinely do care.
>>>
>>> In this thread I personally would have said (if I was in your shoes, and
>>> of course I'm not) "thanks Wendy, I will look into it" and leave it
>>> there. For an analogy, we don't ask for Xmas and birthday gifts etc but
>>> there are two ways we can receive them - with graciousness (whether we
>>> find the gift useful or whatever) or with an attitude of "why would you
>>> think I want a gift, especially this one...". The intent of the giver is
>>> almost always good. In UseNet not always good intent but those people
>>> are easier to weed out and delete than family and friends
>>>
>>> At the end of the day of course, we will all post how we want but I'd
>>> rather see a bit more tolerance in the groups personally.
>>
>> Jan, i think you hit the nail on the head. It's the lack of
>> graciousness and the accusatory fashion that Julie will delve off into
>> that will get the best of me.... like last night when i didn't agree
>> with her, so she felt i was angry
>>
>> no....... not at all, but i did get angry soon after that!
>>
>> perhaps it's best if i just don't reply to Julie's 'venting'
>> wait, or bother to read it either
>
> Remember being told as a child to count to ten before action?
> Although I did whack someone in grade 4, put they whacked first...

it sort of all went S when Julie asked "what post??? there isn't
anything i need to know, yada"

i calmly and politely indicated the subject matter that she might have
found to be of interest

and things went downhill rather quickly after that.......... i should
have recognized the IDGAF 'tude she was displaying

guess that means it's 'my bad' that i didn't anticipate Julie's next
reaction(s)??

ya, don't answer is probably best.... that's where i left it when she
informed me i was angry with her

???????
right

i'm not angry, i just don't need to waste my time on that kind of shitty
'tude

kate

"Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
...
> On 1/2/2012 5:19 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>>
>>
>> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On 1/2/2012 4:47 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>>>>
>>>>
>>>> "Cheri" > wrote in message
>>>> ...
>>>>> "Julie Bove" > wrote in message
>>>>> ...
>>>>>
>>>>>> Apparently nobody else here has the same problems that I do. I am
>>>>>> glad it is so easy for them to control their BG. It isn't for me.
>>>>>> And
>>>>>> I haven't found the solution yet.
>>>>>
>>>>> Who said it was easy? Personally, I think you're one of those who
>>>>> has
>>>>> taken the EASY way these many years while your health continues to
>>>>> deteriorate. If you actually got down to finding real solutions
>>>>> instead of making excuses at every turn, you would probably find
>>>>> many
>>>>> of them, but it's not easy, especially when you say (very often in
>>>>> fact) that you are "not looking for advice or solutions" so there
>>>>> you
>>>>> have it. JMO
>>>>>
>>>>> Cheri
>>>>
>>>> Cheri, we don't know Julie personally. I feel we should all start
>>>> taking
>>>> Julie as she is. Probably the bottom line here is that she rarely
>>>> asks
>>>> for advice but likes to vent. I know its human nature to want to
>>>> help
>>>> but I feel if a person doesn't ask for help why should they be
>>>> abused if
>>>> they won't accept unwanted help? On Julie's part I think perhaps
>>>> you
>>>> *could* (not saying *should*) choose your wording more carefully
>>>> when
>>>> answering people. Some definitely do mean well, others don't. I
>>>> personally would ignore those I know are only here for the argument
>>>> and
>>>> perhaps change my answering style for the ones who genuinely do
>>>> care.
>>>>
>>>> In this thread I personally would have said (if I was in your
>>>> shoes, and
>>>> of course I'm not) "thanks Wendy, I will look into it" and leave it
>>>> there. For an analogy, we don't ask for Xmas and birthday gifts etc
>>>> but
>>>> there are two ways we can receive them - with graciousness (whether
>>>> we
>>>> find the gift useful or whatever) or with an attitude of "why would
>>>> you
>>>> think I want a gift, especially this one...". The intent of the
>>>> giver is
>>>> almost always good. In UseNet not always good intent but those
>>>> people
>>>> are easier to weed out and delete than family and friends
>>>>
>>>> At the end of the day of course, we will all post how we want but
>>>> I'd
>>>> rather see a bit more tolerance in the groups personally.
>>>
>>> Jan, i think you hit the nail on the head. It's the lack of
>>> graciousness and the accusatory fashion that Julie will delve off
>>> into
>>> that will get the best of me.... like last night when i didn't agree
>>> with her, so she felt i was angry
>>>
>>> no....... not at all, but i did get angry soon after that!
>>>
>>> perhaps it's best if i just don't reply to Julie's 'venting'
>>> wait, or bother to read it either
>>
>> Remember being told as a child to count to ten before action?
>> Although I did whack someone in grade 4, put they whacked first...
>
> it sort of all went S when Julie asked "what post??? there isn't
> anything i need to know, yada"
>
> i calmly and politely indicated the subject matter that she might have
> found to be of interest
>
> and things went downhill rather quickly after that.......... i should
> have recognized the IDGAF 'tude she was displaying
>
> guess that means it's 'my bad' that i didn't anticipate Julie's next
> reaction(s)??
>
> ya, don't answer is probably best.... that's where i left it when she
> informed me i was angry with her
>
> ???????
> right
>
> i'm not angry, i just don't need to waste my time on that kind of
> shitty 'tude
>
> kate

IDGAF, lol, I like that one. Day for acronyms! Reactions to other
people's words come in all shapes and sizes. Some people take words to
heart, I tend to take most things as being water off a duck's back. But
you will know if something ever hits that rare raw nerve of mine

I believe a raw nerve for me has only been hit twice in all my years in
usenet. One was about Jasmine many years ago and the other more recent.
FWIW I see you as being frustrated not angry.

On 1/2/2012 6:21 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
> IDGAF, lol, I like that one. Day for acronyms!

grin, an Aussie friend of mine taught me that acronym

> Reactions to other
> people's words come in all shapes and sizes. Some people take words to
> heart, I tend to take most things as being water off a duck's back. But
> you will know if something ever hits that rare raw nerve of mine

You could say you pretty much know exactly where you stand with me at
any given time......... i'm pretty open and direct......... or is that
brutally honest.... fine line there LOL
>
> I believe a raw nerve for me has only been hit twice in all my years in
> usenet. One was about Jasmine many years ago and the other more recent.
> FWIW I see you as being frustrated not angry.

yup, total frustration, not angry, but totally frustrated and well....
why do i bang my head against the wall?? it feels so good when i stop! LOL

and ya, i can be patient as a saint and i can have a fuse that's 5
seconds...... i never know when it will be the 5 second fuse (well, i
have a pretty good idea, but, i'm not telling........ and i know you
know what will cause me to have a 5 sec fuse) LOL

kate (frustrated, for the record)
lol

"Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
...
> On 1/2/2012 6:21 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>> IDGAF, lol, I like that one. Day for acronyms!
>
> grin, an Aussie friend of mine taught me that acronym
>
>> Reactions to other
>> people's words come in all shapes and sizes. Some people take words
>> to
>> heart, I tend to take most things as being water off a duck's back.
>> But
>> you will know if something ever hits that rare raw nerve of mine
>
> You could say you pretty much know exactly where you stand with me at
> any given time......... i'm pretty open and direct......... or is that
> brutally honest.... fine line there LOL

I think frankness between friends is good. I would tell you if your
butt looked too big in that pair of pants (if you asked...)

>> I believe a raw nerve for me has only been hit twice in all my years
>> in
>> usenet. One was about Jasmine many years ago and the other more
>> recent.
>> FWIW I see you as being frustrated not angry.
>
> yup, total frustration, not angry, but totally frustrated and well....
> why do i bang my head against the wall?? it feels so good when i
> stop! LOL
>
> and ya, i can be patient as a saint and i can have a fuse that's 5
> seconds...... i never know when it will be the 5 second fuse (well, i
> have a pretty good idea, but, i'm not telling........ and i know you
> know what will cause me to have a 5 sec fuse) LOL
>
> kate (frustrated, for the record)

I fully understand you being frustrated but there is a always a but.
Here's how I see this whole Julie and help thing:

How many times must a person say they don't want help before everyone
else takes her request on board? I think a lot of frustration could be
avoided if all of us (me included) respected her wishes not to receive
help unless she asks for it. How many times would it take a person
receiving unsolicited advice (after repeatedly asking people not to)
before that person becomes frustrated, angry or any other emotion? I
quite frankly would have spat the dummy years ago if it were me.

I am sure we all have something in our lives, past or present, where we
have requested others not to do something. We have expectations of
having our wishes respected. Susan for example had a major spit at
having her posts being archived in other people's posts and having one
of my posts shown in all its glory for her to see because I am
killfiled. Point taken.

Robert obviously didn't know the ramifications of posting (or was it
referring to) Wendy's post in a message with the subject "Julie". I'd
say by now he probably does Wendy didn't refer to any specific
person.

On 1/2/2012 9:48 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>
>
> "Tiger Lily" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 1/2/2012 6:21 PM, Ozgirl wrote:
>>> IDGAF, lol, I like that one. Day for acronyms!
>>
>> grin, an Aussie friend of mine taught me that acronym
>>
>>> Reactions to other
>>> people's words come in all shapes and sizes. Some people take words to
>>> heart, I tend to take most things as being water off a duck's back. But
>>> you will know if something ever hits that rare raw nerve of mine
>>
>> You could say you pretty much know exactly where you stand with me at
>> any given time......... i'm pretty open and direct......... or is that
>> brutally honest.... fine line there LOL
>
> I think frankness between friends is good. I would tell you if your butt
> looked too big in that pair of pants (if you asked...)
>
>>> I believe a raw nerve for me has only been hit twice in all my years in
>>> usenet. One was about Jasmine many years ago and the other more recent.
>>> FWIW I see you as being frustrated not angry.
>>
>> yup, total frustration, not angry, but totally frustrated and well....
>> why do i bang my head against the wall?? it feels so good when i stop!
>> LOL
>>
>> and ya, i can be patient as a saint and i can have a fuse that's 5
>> seconds...... i never know when it will be the 5 second fuse (well, i
>> have a pretty good idea, but, i'm not telling........ and i know you
>> know what will cause me to have a 5 sec fuse) LOL
>>
>> kate (frustrated, for the record)
>
> I fully understand you being frustrated but there is a always a but.
> Here's how I see this whole Julie and help thing:
>
> How many times must a person say they don't want help before everyone
> else takes her request on board? I think a lot of frustration could be
> avoided if all of us (me included) respected her wishes not to receive
> help unless she asks for it. How many times would it take a person
> receiving unsolicited advice (after repeatedly asking people not to)
> before that person becomes frustrated, angry or any other emotion? I
> quite frankly would have spat the dummy years ago if it were me.
>
> I am sure we all have something in our lives, past or present, where we
> have requested others not to do something. We have expectations of
> having our wishes respected. Susan for example had a major spit at
> having her posts being archived in other people's posts and having one
> of my posts shown in all its glory for her to see because I am
> killfiled. Point taken.
>
> Robert obviously didn't know the ramifications of posting (or was it
> referring to) Wendy's post in a message with the subject "Julie". I'd
> say by now he probably does Wendy didn't refer to any specific person.

yup, you said it Jan

however......... lol.......... what do you do then?????

i've set the filters to mark as read......... that way i can look but it
reminds me 'don't say anything, she doesn't want any help'

having said that, i think it's attention that she wants, as she will
spit the dummy if she doesn't get attention for her rants as well

i just see a very sad/lonely/impossible to make happy person..... and
that's sad as there are so many people who have tried to help (including
YOU!)

oh well, give it a rest and maybe read again later

kate