> ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
>
>> Had to spend Christmas Day with my sister, whom I don't like; her
>> husband,
>> whom
>> I don't like; and their cats that I'm allergic to.

You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
spend time with others you don't like.

Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
>> ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
>>
>>> Had to spend Christmas Day with my sister, whom I don't like; her
>>> husband,
>>> whom
>>> I don't like; and their cats that I'm allergic to.
>
> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make
> you spend time with others you don't like.

Exactly. Now I don't dislike my brother, although we don't always see eye
to eye, but I elected to stay home this year. Of course the 3" of ice on
the streets made it easier.

OB Food: I roasted a pork tenderloin and it took a lot longer than I
expected. It was 1.82 lbs. and over an hour at 400F to cook. By the time
it was done I'd lost my appetite so I'll have some today. I skipped the
rosemary which I normally use. Lots of garlic, pepper, a little bit of salt
and I sprinkled some Penzey's Singapore seasoning blend on it. It smelled
like heaven when I took it out of the oven.

Jill

we had pork loin too, Jill. I cook it at 325, so it did take longer.
Made scalloped potatoes with it, a little cranberry sauce, green beans.
Apple pie for dessert. It was great. No sis. In fact, not even a
card from her this year, which is fine by me.

jmcquown wrote:
> Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
> >> ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
> >>
> >>> Had to spend Christmas Day with my sister, whom I don't like; her
> >>> husband,
> >>> whom
> >>> I don't like; and their cats that I'm allergic to.
> >
> > You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
make
> > you spend time with others you don't like.
>
> Exactly. Now I don't dislike my brother, although we don't always
see eye
> to eye, but I elected to stay home this year. Of course the 3" of
ice on
> the streets made it easier.
>
> OB Food: I roasted a pork tenderloin and it took a lot longer than I
> expected. It was 1.82 lbs. and over an hour at 400F to cook. By the
time
> it was done I'd lost my appetite so I'll have some today. I skipped
the
> rosemary which I normally use. Lots of garlic, pepper, a little bit
of salt
> and I sprinkled some Penzey's Singapore seasoning blend on it. It
smelled
> like heaven when I took it out of the oven.
>
> Jill


Next time, try 425 or even 450 on a rack in a shallow pan - it makes a
mess in the oven, but takes about 30-40 minutes, max. It doesn't have
to be well done, you know.

N.

God spare me from people who don't want to be with me and come anyway. Just
come in, drop off the presents and bow gracefully out. :-) Better yet, mail
them.

Henrietta

Hazels65 wrote:
> God spare me from people who don't want to be with me and come anyway. Just
> come in, drop off the presents and bow gracefully out. :-) Better yet, mail
> them.
>
> Henrietta

If they don't want to be with you, why the hell give you a present?


jim

>You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
>spend time with others you don't like.

Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.

DJS0302 wrote:
>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
>> make you spend time with others you don't like.
>
> Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.

That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the invitation
but I have other plans."

Jill

jmcquown wrote:

> > Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.
>
> That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the invitation
> but I have other plans."

You can always lie. I did my family duty and went to Christmas dinner at my
brother's because my mother's health is not good and this may be her last
Christmas. So I got to spend the evening with a clinically depressed brother,
his dullard wife and socially retarded 31 year old son. I am grateful that my
wife came along and indulged my family. My other two brothers would not go
because they despise the host and hostess. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
I had my son come down to join us. When my mother is no longer around for
Christmas I will be making excuses. It's a special time of year and I really
hate spending it with the depressed family when I could be having a better time
with other family members, even in-laws.

On Sun, 26 Dec 2004 13:52:16 -0500, Dave Smith >
wrote:

>You can always lie. I did my family duty and went to Christmas dinner at my
>brother's because my mother's health is not good and this may be her last
>Christmas. So I got to spend the evening with a clinically depressed brother,
>his dullard wife and socially retarded 31 year old son. I am grateful that my
>wife came along and indulged my family. My other two brothers would not go
>because they despise the host and hostess. I didn't want to hurt his feelings.
>I had my son come down to join us. When my mother is no longer around for
>Christmas I will be making excuses. It's a special time of year and I really
>hate spending it with the depressed family when I could be having a better time
>with other family members, even in-laws.

Amen. Our family started to fall apart when my mom passed. Once Dad was
gone, the three of us kids have never spent a single holiday together. It
really isn't any loss, because we have nothing in common except that we
were all born to the same couple. My brother is a hopeless alcoholic, and
my sister is in denial about her schizophrenia and refuses to take her
meds. It would be a wonderful day, wouldn't it?

I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has agreed
to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the loneliness
for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>

There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree that
you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
You'd really regret it if you didn't.

Little Orphan Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_

Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

> I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
> I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has agreed
> to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the loneliness
> for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>

I miss some of my nieces and nephews this year. We used to get together on Boxing
Day. The problem was it seems to be an all or nothing affair. I am not allowed to
invite only those I like. My late brother in law's kids (all in their 30's now) are
great, happily married to nice people and have nice kids. But if I have them I have
to invite the sister in law's kids. I get along well with her son, but cannot stand
her daughter and will not have her in the house. I ranted about her and her enormous
appetite last year). Then there is the late BIL's ex wife who still considers
herself part of the family. If she comes, one of her sons will not, nor will the
other SIL or her husband.

My family is equally dysfunctional. The brother who hosted us this year is the
outcast. My other two brothers can't stand to be around him and his wife. Last year
we had the depressed brother and his family here for a pre Christmas dinner, and
then we went to another brother's house for the big one.

> There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree that
> you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
> You'd really regret it if you didn't.

I know I would regret it. That's why my son rearranged his schedule and made the 500
mile trip to be with his grandmother. He had wanted us to come up to visit him and
his girlfriend for Christmas this year. It would have been fun. But right now I am
wondering if my mother is going to make it through this one. We had her up for
dinner on Christmas Eve, then took her over to my brother's for a party. Yesterday
we had to pick her up and take her to the other brother's for dinner. She won't take
her water pills if she has to go anywhere, so when I nailed her about her
congestion, bags under her eyes and general puffy appearance. She had a heart
problem last January because she hadn't been taking them, ended up in the hospital
for two weeks and then we had to look after her 24/7 for more than a month. I am
supposed to take her to visit a friend over the holidays and my Christmas present
for her is a dinner out. I can't do either until she does something about her fluid
level.

Dave Smith > wrote in
:

> Then there is the late BIL's ex wife who still considers
> herself part of the family. If she comes, one of her sons will
> not, nor will the other SIL or her husband.

Our family gatherings vary between 50 and 150 depending on how many
age groups are allowed. I don't organize these as they are held in
Montréal so less rather than more people have to travel two-three
hours to get there, myself included.

We have all kinds: exes, children of exes, widows and their current
squeezes...they all come. And they are welcome. I can't think of
any one who is not welcome. One of my ex-aunts passed away recently
and there was a family remembrance in her memory, partly by e-mails
and partly by those who gathered at a restaurant to remember her.

The Gascon family is like the Cosa Nostra or the Catholic church.
Once you join, you're a member for life :-)

--

[...] remember when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down 'ere on Earth!

Monty Python's Universe Song

Dave Smith > wrote in
:

> Then there is the late BIL's ex wife who still considers
> herself part of the family. If she comes, one of her sons will
> not, nor will the other SIL or her husband.

Our family gatherings vary between 50 and 150 depending on how many
age groups are allowed. I don't organize these as they are held in
Montréal so less rather than more people have to travel two-three
hours to get there, myself included.

We have all kinds: exes, children of exes, widows and their current
squeezes...they all come. And they are welcome. I can't think of
any one who is not welcome. One of my ex-aunts passed away recently
and there was a family remembrance in her memory, partly by e-mails
and partly by those who gathered at a restaurant to remember her.

The Gascon family is like the Cosa Nostra or the Catholic church.
Once you join, you're a member for life :-)

--

[...] remember when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely is your birth
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere up in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down 'ere on Earth!

Monty Python's Universe Song

>Damsel writes:
>
>>Dave Smith wrote:
>
>>You can always lie. I did my family duty and went to Christmas dinner at my
>>brother's because my mother's health is not good and this may be her last
>>Christmas. So I got to spend the evening with a clinically depressed
>brother,
>>his dullard wife and socially retarded 31 year old son. I am grateful that
>my
>>wife came along and indulged my family. My other two brothers would not go
>>because they despise the host and hostess. I didn't want to hurt his
>feelings.
>>I had my son come down to join us. When my mother is no longer around for
>>Christmas I will be making excuses. It's a special time of year and I
>really
>>hate spending it with the depressed family when I could be having a better
>time
>>with other family members, even in-laws.

Before slashing at family take a good hard look in your own mirror... and
slashing at your family doesn't make you whole. The entire concept of the
holiday season is totally wasted on you.


>Amen. Our family started to fall apart when my mom passed. Once Dad was
>gone, the three of us kids have never spent a single holiday together. It
>really isn't any loss, because we have nothing in common except that we
>were all born to the same couple. My brother is a hopeless alcoholic, and
>my sister is in denial about her schizophrenia and refuses to take her
>meds. It would be a wonderful day, wouldn't it?
>
>I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
>I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has agreed
>to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the loneliness
>for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>
>
>There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree that
>you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
>You'd really regret it if you didn't.
>
>Little Orphan Carol
>--
>"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
>'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
>Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

Pleasant... hmmm...

My mother always said if you haven't anything good to say about the people you
break bread with then keep your [****ing] trap shut or eat alone.




---= BOYCOTT FRANCE (belgium) GERMANY--SPAIN =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
*********
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."
Sheldon
````````````

On 26 Dec 2004 20:52:58 GMT, (PENMART01) wrote:

>My mother always said if you haven't anything good to say about the people you
>break bread with then keep your [****ing] trap shut or eat alone.

I break bread with Crash, his daughter, her mother, and her stepfather. No
complaints.

Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_

PENMART01 wrote:

> >Damsel writes:
> >
> >>Dave Smith wrote:
> >
> >>You can always lie. I did my family duty and went to Christmas dinner at
my
> >>brother's because my mother's health is not good and this may be her
last
> >>Christmas. So I got to spend the evening with a clinically depressed
> >brother,
> >>his dullard wife and socially retarded 31 year old son. I am grateful
that
> >my
> >>wife came along and indulged my family. My other two brothers would not
go
> >>because they despise the host and hostess. I didn't want to hurt his
> >feelings.
> >>I had my son come down to join us. When my mother is no longer around
for
> >>Christmas I will be making excuses. It's a special time of year and I
> >really
> >>hate spending it with the depressed family when I could be having a
better
> >time
> >>with other family members, even in-laws.
>
> Before slashing at family take a good hard look in your own mirror... and
> slashing at your family doesn't make you whole. The entire concept of the
> holiday season is totally wasted on you.
>
>
> >Amen. Our family started to fall apart when my mom passed. Once Dad was
> >gone, the three of us kids have never spent a single holiday together.
It
> >really isn't any loss, because we have nothing in common except that we
> >were all born to the same couple. My brother is a hopeless alcoholic,
and
> >my sister is in denial about her schizophrenia and refuses to take her
> >meds. It would be a wonderful day, wouldn't it?
> >
> >I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
> >I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has
agreed
> >to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the
loneliness
> >for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>
> >
> >There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree
that
> >you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
> >You'd really regret it if you didn't.
> >
> >Little Orphan Carol
> >--
> >"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
> >'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
> >Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."
>
> Pleasant... hmmm...
>
> My mother always said if you haven't anything good to say about the people
you
> break bread with then keep your [****ing] trap shut or eat alone.
>


Yup...couldn't agree more. If people are talking out of turn like this
about such private matters on some dumb Usenet group then how must they act
in *real life*...???

It's simply a cheap attention - getting device, nothing more. It gets real
old reeeeeeal fast.

Such folks should get off Usenet and seek some kind of professional help.

--
Best
Greg

"PENMART01" > wrote in message
...
..
>
> Before slashing at family take a good hard look in your own mirror... and
> slashing at your family doesn't make you whole. The entire concept of the
> holiday season is totally wasted on you.
>
>

Unlike yourself who was whining and threatening to turn off the lights and
lock the doors on your guests because they were 10 minutes late.

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> DJS0302 wrote:
>>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
>>> make you spend time with others you don't like.
>>
>> Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.
>
> That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the
> invitation
> but I have other plans."
>
> Jill
Jill,
Exactly right you are.. nobody puts a gun to these people's heads. They go
because, much as they complain, they are getting some kind of payoff from
it, or else they wouldn't do it... even if that payoff is merely someone
else having a nice opinion of them.
We live a mile from my MIL and stayed home for Christmas.. so yes, it can be
done.
lucy

On Sun, 26 Dec 2004 12:15:18 -0600, "jmcquown"
> wrote:

>DJS0302 wrote:
>>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
>>> make you spend time with others you don't like.
>>
>> Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.
>
>That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the invitation
>but I have other plans."

My daughter spends the occasional holiday with the ex and his wife. It
is not for me to list the new wife's shortcomings <veg>, but my
daughter said she finally found a way to get through a holiday without
wanting to run screaming into the street: stay slightly inebriated :-)

Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
AAC(F)BV66.0748.CA


"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."

-- Duncan Hines

To reply, replace "spaminator" with "cox"

"jmcquown" > wrote in message
...
> DJS0302 wrote:
>>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
>>> make you spend time with others you don't like.
>>
>> Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.
>
> That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the
> invitation
> but I have other plans."
>
> Jill
Jill,
Exactly right you are.. nobody puts a gun to these people's heads. They go
because, much as they complain, they are getting some kind of payoff from
it, or else they wouldn't do it... even if that payoff is merely someone
else having a nice opinion of them.
We live a mile from my MIL and stayed home for Christmas.. so yes, it can be
done.
lucy

On 26 Dec 2004 18:05:26 GMT, ospam (DJS0302) wrote:

>>You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
>>spend time with others you don't like.
>
>Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.

Duty calls, huh? Been there, done that. I think you did the right thing
by going, as long as you care for everyone else at the get together.

It sucks that you've got two bad apples in the family. You *can* turn it
around in your head that you're visiting the people you love, and that the
others are just a necessary evil for now.

I hope that next year's celebration will be more pleasant for you.

Carol
--
"Years ago my mother used to say to me... She'd say,
'In this world Elwood, you must be oh-so smart or oh-so pleasant.'
Well, for years I was smart.... I recommend pleasant. You may quote me."

*James Stewart* in the 1950 movie, _Harvey_

In article >, damsel-
says...
> On 26 Dec 2004 18:05:26 GMT, ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
>
> >>You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
> >>spend time with others you don't like.
> >
> >Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.
>
> Duty calls, huh? Been there, done that. I think you did the right thing
> by going, as long as you care for everyone else at the get together.
>
> It sucks that you've got two bad apples in the family. You *can* turn it
> around in your head that you're visiting the people you love, and that the
> others are just a necessary evil for now.

If it weren't for the bad apples my family gatherings wouldn't have been
any fun at all. My uncle was a loveable drunk, and a great uncle, well..
the stories were something else.

You could only stand so much when it was only the immediate family and
my grandfather who we'd nicknamed Saint Anthony.

DJS0302 wrote:
>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can
>> make you spend time with others you don't like.
>
> Well all the other relatives were there to so I almost had to go.

That's just silly. Say politely, "No thank you, I appreciate the invitation
but I have other plans."

Jill

Edwin Pawlowski wrote:

> > ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
> >
> >> Had to spend Christmas Day with my sister, whom I don't like; her
> >> husband,
> >> whom
> >> I don't like; and their cats that I'm allergic to.
>
> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
> spend time with others you don't like.


Yup...life is too short to waste time with unpleasant people, especially
family members.

I don't get the concept of having to put up with rude or unpleasant people
"even" if they are family members.

Those that say you *must* spend xmas or whatever with family come what may
are simply self - flagellating fools, gluttons for punishment. Of course
they can then make a big deal out of being the poor widdle victim and they
can whine and groan here on Usenet or wherever. Such people need to grow a
backbone and *grow* up.

It's passive - aggressive and immature *in the extreme* to set one's self up
for a bad time and then sail onto a public forum and carry on about it (IIRC
one person here who wouldn't shut up and stop trolling about their "evil"
stepmother...it was entertaining in a sad kind of way. Makes one wonder who
is more "evil": the stepmom or the person who insists on blathering on about
such private matters in public... :-).

And having to talk about "the need to vent" on a Usenet group such very
private personal matters is simply just schoolgirl silliness...

--
Best
Greg

in article .net, Gregory
Morrow at wrote on 12/26/04
1:21 PM:

>
> Edwin Pawlowski wrote:
>
>>> ospam (DJS0302) wrote:
>>>
>>>> Had to spend Christmas Day with my sister, whom I don't like; her
>>>> husband,
>>>> whom
>>>> I don't like; and their cats that I'm allergic to.
>>
>> You have to learn to say NO. Unless you are underage, no on can make you
>> spend time with others you don't like.
>
>
> Yup...life is too short to waste time with unpleasant people, especially
> family members.
>
> I don't get the concept of having to put up with rude or unpleasant people
> "even" if they are family members.
>
> Those that say you *must* spend xmas or whatever with family come what may
> are simply self - flagellating fools, gluttons for punishment. Of course
> they can then make a big deal out of being the poor widdle victim and they
> can whine and groan here on Usenet or wherever. Such people need to grow a
> backbone and *grow* up.
>
> It's passive - aggressive and immature *in the extreme* to set one's self up
> for a bad time and then sail onto a public forum and carry on about it (IIRC
> one person here who wouldn't shut up and stop trolling about their "evil"
> stepmother...it was entertaining in a sad kind of way. Makes one wonder who
> is more "evil": the stepmom or the person who insists on blathering on about
> such private matters in public... :-).
>
> And having to talk about "the need to vent" on a Usenet group such very
> private personal matters is simply just schoolgirl silliness...

**** off, Greg.
You're the one who keeps bringing that up.
It's long been buried by the party involved.
Now if only you'd shut up about it.