Damsel in dis Dress wrote:

> I do miss being with family for the holidays, but I don't miss the people
> I'd be stuck with if we did it now. There is someone in RFC who has agreed
> to let us adopt her for the holidays. It'll cut way back on the loneliness
> for all three of us, and she's a much better cook than I am. <G>

I miss some of my nieces and nephews this year. We used to get together on Boxing
Day. The problem was it seems to be an all or nothing affair. I am not allowed to
invite only those I like. My late brother in law's kids (all in their 30's now) are
great, happily married to nice people and have nice kids. But if I have them I have
to invite the sister in law's kids. I get along well with her son, but cannot stand
her daughter and will not have her in the house. I ranted about her and her enormous
appetite last year). Then there is the late BIL's ex wife who still considers
herself part of the family. If she comes, one of her sons will not, nor will the
other SIL or her husband.

My family is equally dysfunctional. The brother who hosted us this year is the
outcast. My other two brothers can't stand to be around him and his wife. Last year
we had the depressed brother and his family here for a pre Christmas dinner, and
then we went to another brother's house for the big one.

> There are always ways to work around lousy relationships, but I agree that
> you're doing the right thing by spending the holidays with your mother.
> You'd really regret it if you didn't.

I know I would regret it. That's why my son rearranged his schedule and made the 500
mile trip to be with his grandmother. He had wanted us to come up to visit him and
his girlfriend for Christmas this year. It would have been fun. But right now I am
wondering if my mother is going to make it through this one. We had her up for
dinner on Christmas Eve, then took her over to my brother's for a party. Yesterday
we had to pick her up and take her to the other brother's for dinner. She won't take
her water pills if she has to go anywhere, so when I nailed her about her
congestion, bags under her eyes and general puffy appearance. She had a heart
problem last January because she hadn't been taking them, ended up in the hospital
for two weeks and then we had to look after her 24/7 for more than a month. I am
supposed to take her to visit a friend over the holidays and my Christmas present
for her is a dinner out. I can't do either until she does something about her fluid
level.