This is a true story.
Yesterday, I boiled some beef chunks along with BtB and a small can of tomato
sauce for beef stew. One section of my side fence had five slats knocked out
by the neighbor kid kicking balls against it, so I decided to hammer them
back into place.
I gathered the materials together along with a old scissor chair, so I could
pull out nails and staples while sitting down before banging the slats into
the fence again. I gathered the slats and sat down on the chair, ripped right
through and found myself smooshed on the bottom of the scissor in a fetal
position with my legs straight up in the air.
I was in a clamp with nobody around.
I panicked for a couple of minutes, strained a third of the way out of the
clamp, and rocked side-to-side until I fell onto the grass, extricated
myself, pulled out the nails from the slats, fixed the fence, discarded the
chair and announced to the women that we would be eating fast-food.
We had beef stew tonight.

leo