On 3/20/2016 6:54 AM, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
> Spendthrift: a person who spends money in an extravagant, irresponsible
> way. (cf: Dennis €œI cant stop spending my money frivolously€� Johnson.)
>
> In 2008, when his father finally kicked the bucket, Dennis Johnson was
> given three-quarters of a million dollars, set up in an irrevocable
> trust fund. Such trusts are also known as Spendthrift Trusts
> (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spendthrift_trust). At the time, Dennis
> was 50.
>
> In addition to his principal assets, the money held in trust that is,
> Dennis held about one hundred thousand dollars under his
> €œsupervision€�€”what we might call his €œliquid holdings.€� Said assets
> consisted of a Chase Bank Savings Account (what we used to called a
> passbook savings account back when the banks paid interest) and an IRA
> account (of unknown value). Dennis was doing €œgood€� by continuing, up
> until recent times, to make yearly contributions to the IRA.
>
> BUT, LIKE THEY SAY€¦€¦..SHIT HAPPENS.
>
> Now, its no secret that Dennis has an ongoing gambling problem (he
> admits this). He also admits some past problems involving certain
> Korean women and massage parlors along E.C. Boulevard. Although the
> Koreans are no longer a problem for him€”having kicked his silly ass to
> the curb several years ago€”the Indians still remain something of a
> vexation.
>
> €œUh, hey Chief. . . Looky there, isnt that heap stoopid dipshit Dennis
> coming to spend more IRA money again?€�
>
> €œHey, you be quiet, Laughing at Paleface. We got kids at Harvard. We
> need money from stupid white trash.€�
>
>
> €œWell, Mister Johnson, Im afraid thatll be a twenty-five percent
> penalty,€� the H&R Block guy said. €œBy the way, if you had waited just
> one more year, there wouldnt have been any tax consequence . . . er, sir.€�
>
> Ah shucks,€� said Dennis, twitching a little more than usual.
>
> €œBut, the good news is that we can write off most of your gambling
> losses€¦. Hmm, you must be some big gambler. . . Well, there ya go. Im
> done, Mister Johnson. Heres what ya owe the IRS, by the way. Consider
> your taxes filed as of now. Just dont forget to send "em that check or
> theyll charge ya interest.€�
>
>
> April 15, 2018
>
> Dear Diary,
> I think I saw Dennis the other day. I was waiting at the light on
> Pacific Highway. I looked across the road, over at the group of
> homeless €œveterans€� gathered around a bottle of MadDog 20/20, when I saw
> him. He was a terrific sight€”unshaven, filthy, with pimples all over
> his face. Which might have been Kaposi's sarcoma sores. At that moment
> the light turned and I drove off, thinking about the old saying €œA fool
> and his money€¦.€�
>
>
> THE END
>
> This article is dedicated to the memory of Dennis liquid assests: 2008
> €“ 2016.
> May his liquidity, and the souls of the faithful, REST IN PEACE.
> AMEN.


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