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Posted to alt.idiots,rec.food.cooking,alt.usenet.kooks
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DENNIS JOHNSON MEETS HIS HOMELESS-BOUND SELF
On 3/24/2016 1:25 PM, % wrote:
> Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
>> On 3/20/2016 6:54 AM, Colonel Edmund J. Burke wrote:
>>> Spendthrift: a person who spends money in an extravagant,
>>> irresponsible way. (cf: Dennis €śI cant stop spending my money
>>> frivolously€ť Johnson.) In 2008, when his father finally kicked the
>>> bucket, Dennis Johnson
>>> was given three-quarters of a million dollars, set up in an
>>> irrevocable trust fund. Such trusts are also known as Spendthrift
>>> Trusts
>>> (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spendthrift_trust). At the time,
>>> Dennis was 50.
>>>
>>> In addition to his principal assets, the money held in trust that is,
>>> Dennis held about one hundred thousand dollars under his
>>> €śsupervision€ť€”what we might call his €śliquid holdings.€ť Said assets
>>> consisted of a Chase Bank Savings Account (what we used to called a
>>> passbook savings account back when the banks paid interest) and an
>>> IRA account (of unknown value). Dennis was doing €śgood€ť by
>>> continuing, up until recent times, to make yearly contributions to
>>> the IRA. BUT, LIKE THEY SAY€¦€¦..SHIT HAPPENS.
>>>
>>> Now, its no secret that Dennis has an ongoing gambling problem (he
>>> admits this). He also admits some past problems involving certain
>>> Korean women and massage parlors along E.C. Boulevard. Although the
>>> Koreans are no longer a problem for him€”having kicked his silly ass
>>> to the curb several years ago€”the Indians still remain something of a
>>> vexation.
>>>
>>> €śUh, hey Chief. . . Looky there, isnt that heap stoopid dipshit
>>> Dennis coming to spend more IRA money again?€ť
>>>
>>> €śHey, you be quiet, Laughing at Paleface. We got kids at Harvard. We
>>> need money from stupid white trash.€ť
>>>
>>>
>>> €śWell, Mister Johnson, Im afraid thatll be a twenty-five percent
>>> penalty,€ť the H&R Block guy said. €śBy the way, if you had waited
>>> just one more year, there wouldnt have been any tax consequence . . .
>>> er, sir.€ť Ah shucks,€ť said Dennis, twitching a little more than usual.
>>>
>>> €śBut, the good news is that we can write off most of your gambling
>>> losses€¦. Hmm, you must be some big gambler. . . Well, there ya go.
>>> Im done, Mister Johnson. Heres what ya owe the IRS, by the way.
>>> Consider your taxes filed as of now. Just dont forget to send "em
>>> that check or theyll charge ya interest.€ť
>>>
>>>
>>> April 15, 2018
>>>
>>> Dear Diary,
>>> I think I saw Dennis the other day. I was waiting at the light on
>>> Pacific Highway. I looked across the road, over at the group of
>>> homeless €śveterans€ť gathered around a bottle of MadDog 20/20, when I
>>> saw him. He was a terrific sight€”unshaven, filthy, with pimples all
>>> over his face. Which might have been Kaposi's sarcoma sores. At that
>>> moment the light turned and I drove off, thinking about the old
>>> saying €śA fool and his money€¦.€ť
>>>
>>>
>>> THE END
>>>
>>> This article is dedicated to the memory of Dennis liquid assests:
>>> 2008 €“ 2016.
>>> May his liquidity, and the souls of the faithful, REST IN PEACE.
>>> AMEN.
>>
>>
>
LOL
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