"ravenlynne" > wrote in message
...
> So some friends of ours called last weekend to inquire what we were doing
> for new years...what was said is "we're trying to see what everyone is
> doing so we can decide what we want to do since we're not going out of
> town this year."
>
> I was uncomfortable...it felt like what she was saying was "tell us what
> you're doing and if that sounds like fun, we'll invite ourselves." This
> isn't something that I do, so I was off put. Anyway, I stated our plans,
> followed by "you're more than welcome to join us" which, while I did mean
> it, felt a bit necessary, as in I'm not going to tell you my plans without
> inviting you. She said she'd discuss it with her husband and let us know.
> This was Sunday.
>
> It's wednesday evening. I need to plan what I'm going to cook and shop
> and I need to do that friday morning. Do I enquire as to whether they're
> coming? If so, when do I do this? How long do I wait? Or do I just plan
> for us and if they come, say "sorry, you didn't let me know so I didn't
> plan for you? I don't know what to do, as I don't DO this to people and
> I'm quite irked about it. I'm not planning on a ham or something that
> feeds plenty, but appetizers and beef filet. When I'm invited somewhere, I
> let them know pretty much asap. They do have a history of both waiting
> until the day of to let us know or, as happened last time, agreeing to
> come with a group, but them backing out at the last minute because the
> rest of the group had to cancel and "it would just be us, so we'll cancel
> too." (grrr!!!!)
>
> Yes, I used the term "friends"....they're important to my husband and I
> don't want to burn bridges.
> --
I could be wrong but I would take what they said to mean that they might
have been thinking of throwing a party themselves. I often ask about a
particular day when I am planning my daughter's birthday party. Her
birthday is in July and so many people are on vacation then, that having a
party is difficult. This last year we just did it in May and called it an
unbirthday party. I didn't have to ask around and all but maybe three kids
showed up.

In the case of your friends... Since you already sort of invited them, if I
were you I would ask them now if they are coming and tell them that you need
to plan the menu and buy the food.