A different post mentioned Dorothy and Barb's Excellent Adventure on
Sunday as we drove to Kansas City, MO. We attended the funeral of The
Widow Dorothy's good friend. The service was interesting in a weird
sort of way. E-mail me if you'd like to know why I think that. Note
that my addres here is munged -- figure it out.

After the burial service at the cemetery, we went (by limousine, thank
you) to a lovely restaurant at The Plaza -- restaurant was called Plaza
3, I believe. A wonderful salad, topped with a creamy dressing and lots
of shredded mozzarella (I think) preceded steak or chicken sandwiches;
we were served cheesecake for dessert. First time I've ever eaten
funeral food in a restaurant although I understand that to be the custom
among some.

The End.
--
-Barb
12-28-03: Tourtiere picture added to my site: <www.jamlady.eboard.com>
Also a picture of my Baba Authorized struhadlo for making halushky
"If you're ever in a jam, here I am."

On Tue, 06 Jan 2004 19:30:42 -0600, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote:

>A different post mentioned Dorothy and Barb's Excellent Adventure on
>Sunday as we drove to Kansas City, MO. We attended the funeral of The
>Widow Dorothy's good friend. The service was interesting in a weird
>sort of way. E-mail me if you'd like to know why I think that. Note
>that my addres here is munged -- figure it out.
>
>After the burial service at the cemetery, we went (by limousine, thank
>you) to a lovely restaurant at The Plaza -- restaurant was called Plaza
>3, I believe. A wonderful salad, topped with a creamy dressing and lots
>of shredded mozzarella (I think) preceded steak or chicken sandwiches;
>we were served cheesecake for dessert. First time I've ever eaten
>funeral food in a restaurant although I understand that to be the custom
>among some.
>
>The End.

I attended my funeral of a particular faith last summer. We went out
to eat, too, which i thought was odd. We were told to order something
meager, that a large meal wouldn't be customary.

Things that make you go hmmmm....

jammer wrote:

>
> I attended my funeral...last summer


I'm trying very hard NOT to post:
"Sorry, I didn't even know you were ill."

I'll let you know if I stifle the urge to post it.

gloria p

jammer wrote:

> I attended my funeral of a particular faith last summer. We went out
> to eat, too, which i thought was odd. We were told to order something
> meager, that a large meal wouldn't be customary.
>
> Things that make you go hmmmm....

Wouldn't be customary to whom?? You ever go to an Italian familes
post-cemetary soiree? While it might not be sit down, the offerings are all
there for a good get together. Methinks that next of kin were just cheap.
Goomba

On Tue, 06 Jan 2004 23:08:01 -0500, Goomba38 >
wrote:

>jammer wrote:
>
>> I attended my funeral of a particular faith last summer. We went out
>> to eat, too, which i thought was odd. We were told to order something
>> meager, that a large meal wouldn't be customary.
>>
>> Things that make you go hmmmm....
>
>Wouldn't be customary to whom?? You ever go to an Italian familes
>post-cemetary soiree? While it might not be sit down, the offerings are all
>there for a good get together. Methinks that next of kin were just cheap.
>Goomba
>

Maybe they couldn't afford it. Maybe it really is the custom of those
people or the evolution of a custom.

Sure, in the old days when there was a lot of extended family around,
quite a few people were able to take care of the immediate family,
including catering social events such as a reception. But, in a
mobile society like the US, families disperse and customs are
modified. In the absence of outisde family/friends who are willing to
plan as well as shoulder the cost of any meals or dinners, I can
understand how such a custom would be modified or fade away.

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

>A different post mentioned Dorothy and Barb's Excellent Adventure on
>>Sunday as we drove to Kansas City, MO. We attended the funeral of The
>>Widow Dorothy's good friend. The service was interesting in a weird
>>sort of way. E-mail me if you'd like to know why I think that. Note
>>that my addres here is munged -- figure it out.
>>
>>After the burial service at the cemetery, we went (by limousine, thank
>>you) to a lovely restaurant at The Plaza -- restaurant was called Plaza
>>3, I believe. A wonderful salad, topped with a creamy dressing and lots
>>of shredded mozzarella (I think) preceded steak or chicken sandwiches;
>>we were served cheesecake for dessert. First time I've ever eaten
>>funeral food in a restaurant although I understand that to be the custom
>>among some.
>>
>>The End.


In the Jewish religion, there is usually a get-together (with food) of
the family and friends after the interment. It is usually at the home
of the closest family member or closest friend of the deceased and
friends and relatives prepare the meal while the rest are at the cemetery.

After the burial, all the mourners go to the home where the prepared
meal is waiting and go back there for the ritual mourning period of one
week, Shiva. The traditional spread is smoked and cured fish, cheeses,
salads, breads, bagels, cakes, cookies, fruits, everything but meats or
meat products, as kosher laws dictate.

However, just in the last few years, I have heard several times that the
mourners were invited to a restaurant after the burial. It is usually
lunch or a light afternoon meal, consisting of soup or appetizer, a
sandwich of the guest's choice, dessert and coffee, as well as wine or
other drinks, again, the guest's choice.

I guess that it has something to do with the age of the departed and the
dispersion of the family. People live to such an old age, that none
of their contemporaries are left or able to do the what is expected of
them, wile the others don't live in the city. I suppose that this will
happen more and more frequently and soon it will be the usual, instead
of the rarity.

So far, I have not been to one of these, but I have no special feelings
about it. It seems to be a necessity in some cases.

At least in New York City, all my kids will have to do is call up
Zabar's and order whatever is needed. It's just a question whether I
will still have my apartment when the time comes, because neither one of
my kids lives in the city. None of my friends still live in New York,
having moved to warmer places or having died. Of course, they may be in
warmer (or hot) places, too.

Margaret

>A different post mentioned Dorothy and Barb's Excellent Adventure on
>Sunday as we drove to Kansas City, MO. We attended the funeral of The
>Widow Dorothy's good friend. The service was interesting in a weird
>sort of way. E-mail me if you'd like to know why I think that. Note
>that my addres here is munged -- figure it out.
>
>After the burial service at the cemetery, we went (by limousine, thank
>you) to a lovely restaurant at The Plaza -- restaurant was called Plaza
>3, I believe. A wonderful salad, topped with a creamy dressing and lots
>of shredded mozzarella (I think) preceded steak or chicken sandwiches;
>we were served cheesecake for dessert. First time I've ever eaten
>funeral food in a restaurant although I understand that to be the custom
>among some.
>
>The End.

The customary thing with the family funerals I attended as a child in Detroit
was to go out to a restaurant for a lunch or dinner. Of course I didn't know
who footed the bill. Your meal sounds better than what we got from what I can
recall.

Glad you survived the trip, Melba! The middle of this country can get gusty
snow sometimes.

>-Barb
>12-28-03: Tourtiere picture added to my site: <www.jamlady.eboard.com>
>Also a picture of my Baba Authorized struhadlo for making halushky
>"If you're ever in a jam, here I am."
>
>
>
rharps.com

On Wed, 07 Jan 2004 18:47:08 GMT, Margaret Suran
> wrote:

>my kids lives in the city. None of my friends still live in New York,

You're never going to forgive me for going to Agata & Valentina
without you?

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

Curly Sue wrote:
> On Wed, 07 Jan 2004 18:47:08 GMT, Margaret Suran
> > wrote:
>
>
>>my kids lives in the city. None of my friends still live in New York,
>
>
> You're never going to forgive me for going to Agata & Valentina
> without you!

You better believe it! How could you pass by the house and not wave to
me? That I was not home is not the point. )

I do miss you, no kidding. We have to get together again, one of these
days.

Tonight for dinner, left over roasted chicken with baked potatoes, gravy
and green peas. A green salad and brie for dessert.

And wine, of course.

Margaret

Dog3 wrote:
>
> Margaret Suran > deliciously posted in
> link.net:
>
> >
> >
> > In the Jewish religion, there is usually a get-together (with food) of
> > the family and friends after the interment. It is usually at the home
> > of the closest family member or closest friend of the deceased and
> > friends and relatives prepare the meal while the rest are at the
> > cemetery.
> >
> > After the burial, all the mourners go to the home where the prepared
> > meal is waiting and go back there for the ritual mourning period of
> > one week, Shiva. The traditional spread is smoked and cured fish,
> > cheeses, salads, breads, bagels, cakes, cookies, fruits, everything
> > but meats or meat products, as kosher laws dictate.
>
> Hmmm... The past 2 Shivas I attended had meat. Trays were delivered from
> the same deli for both Shivas. I have dubbed this deli the funeral deli.
> I've eaten there several times as well. Neither of the deceased was
> Orthodox. Does this make a difference with the serving of meat at a Shiva?
> As far as I know, the meat was kosher.
>
> >
> > However, just in the last few years, I have heard several times that
> > the mourners were invited to a restaurant after the burial. It is
> > usually lunch or a light afternoon meal, consisting of soup or
> > appetizer, a sandwich of the guest's choice, dessert and coffee, as
> > well as wine or other drinks, again, the guest's choice.
>
> Much less taxing on the survivors I'd think.
>
> Michael

The last couple I attended were Reform, so those would not be
typical. both had mixed deli platters. When my Dad dies, friends
brought cassarols, cheeses, fruits and cakes to Mom's, but she kept kosher.

Christian friends' families post-interrment meals have been at
restaurants, but the meal was buffet: finger sandwiches, salads,
chips, coffee&tea&soda and cakes for dessert.

maxine in ri