"Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio

> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> fussy.

> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"

They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of them.
Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am doing the
work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what kindergarten
hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I want them to take
it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is disgusting, her
effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef may be acquainted
with spice and onion.
>
> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not fond
> of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>
> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?

Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

On Wed, 8 Apr 2009 17:21:32 +0200, "Giusi" > wrote:

>They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
>to maintain control over.

Being "late" is another passive way to keep control of situations. My
mother was late for everything...."we can't go until I am ready".....

Mr. Bill wrote:

>
> Being "late" is another passive way to keep control of situations. My
> mother was late for everything...."we can't go until I am ready".....

Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
(wherever) in my house...
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:35:36 +0200, ChattyCathy
> wrote:

>Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
>(wherever) in my house...

Yes.....but when you are the kid and she is the 'MOM', you must
remember that she has the check book and the drivers license. When
you are ten, you don't get to argue the point.

Mr. Bill wrote:

> On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:35:36 +0200, ChattyCathy
> > wrote:
>
>>Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
>>(wherever) in my house...
>
> Yes.....but when you are the kid and she is the 'MOM', you must
> remember that she has the check book and the drivers license. When
> you are ten, you don't get to argue the point.

True enough. I haven't been a kid for so long I didn't think about it
that way ;-)

But now that you've got me going down memory lane... When I was a kid,
one of my Mom's friends used to say that it was 'fashionable' to be
late. Mom told me that was a load of BS. She said her friend only did
it so she could make a 'grand entrance' and feel important when she was
always the last one to arrive at any of their social gatherings. <g>
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy
"Sorry Dear, dinner is late, had to reboot the stove." -mrr

ChattyCathy wrote:
> Mr. Bill wrote:
>
>> On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 18:35:36 +0200, ChattyCathy
>> > wrote:
>>
>>> Heh. Your mother would have been left to "find her own way" to
>>> (wherever) in my house...
>> Yes.....but when you are the kid and she is the 'MOM', you must
>> remember that she has the check book and the drivers license. When
>> you are ten, you don't get to argue the point.
>
> True enough. I haven't been a kid for so long I didn't think about it
> that way ;-)
>
> But now that you've got me going down memory lane... When I was a kid,
> one of my Mom's friends used to say that it was 'fashionable' to be
> late. Mom told me that was a load of BS. She said her friend only did
> it so she could make a 'grand entrance' and feel important when she was
> always the last one to arrive at any of their social gatherings. <g>


On the other hand, my husband always wants to arrive at a
party, dinner, etc.
at the exact time stated on the invitation. We had friends
who were always late
coming to our house. When we arrived "on time" at their
gatherings, we'd often
find them in the shower or not even that far along yet.
She'd look down her nose
and say "Oh, yeah. You guys are always on time."

It's hard to know what to do about that. Do you arrive on
time but 1/2 hour ahead of
all the other guests, or do you arrive 15 minutes "late"
when everyone else is getting there.
Either choice can give a host the fits.

gloria p

Gloria wrote:

> On the other hand, my husband always wants to arrive at a party, dinner,
> etc. at the exact time stated on the invitation. We had friends who were
> always late coming to our house. When we arrived "on time" at their
> gatherings, we'd often find them in the shower or not even that far along
> yet. She'd look down her nose and say "Oh, yeah. You guys are always on
> time."
>
> It's hard to know what to do about that. Do you arrive on time but 1/2
> hour ahead of all the other guests, or do you arrive 15 minutes "late"
> when everyone else is getting there. Either choice can give a host the
> fits.

There's an old Far Side cartoon showing a towel-clad woman opening the front
door to greet a Neanderthal standing outside with a bouquet of flowers. The
caption is "Early Man."

I normally plan to show up right on time, but if I have any doubt about the
situation I'll call shortly before I arrive and say it looks like I'll be
there in a few minutes, but if I'm early, can I stop off along the way and
pick up anything they might have forgotten?

Bob

Puester wrote:
>
>
> On the other hand, my husband always wants to arrive at a
> party, dinner, etc.
> at the exact time stated on the invitation. We had friends
> who were always late
> coming to our house. When we arrived "on time" at their
> gatherings, we'd often
> find them in the shower or not even that far along yet.
> She'd look down her nose
> and say "Oh, yeah. You guys are always on time."

Good grief. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

>
> It's hard to know what to do about that. Do you arrive on
> time but 1/2 hour ahead of
> all the other guests, or do you arrive 15 minutes "late"
> when everyone else is getting there.
> Either choice can give a host the fits.

FWIW, I won't look down my nose at you if you arrive on time at my
house ;-)

--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy
"Sorry Dear, dinner is late, had to reboot the stove." -mrr

In article >,
"Giusi" > wrote:

> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>
> > Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
> > <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
> > fussy.
>
> > I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
> > son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
> > eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
> > grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
> > a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
> > ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
> > jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
> > "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were able
> to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of them.
> Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen,

D'ya think? <grin>

> but I swear if I am doing the work, I'm making the decisions.

I'm inclined to agree.

> it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is disgusting, her
> effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef may be acquainted
> with spice and onion.

Having been with and eaten with Kimberly several times, I don't remember
any fussiness about food on the plate. I have a feeling that if she
were at my table and the foods commingled a bit, she would not comment
about it but would eat it because she was a well-mannered guest in my
home. She would, I believe, not be inclined to draw attention to
something that caused discomfort to her and her alone. My SIL is
another story, not for posting, but I liketa smack 'im. :-0)

> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

I think that's pretty strong. Too strong. While they might need
therapy, I don't think being a general control freak enters in. My SIL
is pretty easy about darned near everything. Kimberly seems to be so,
also.
--
-Barb, Mother Superior, HOSSSPoJ
http://web.me.com/barbschaller - good news 4-6-2009
"What you say about someone else says more
about you than it does about the other person."

"Melba's Jammin'" > wrote in message
...
> In article >,
> "Giusi" > wrote:
>
>
>> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.
>
> I think that's pretty strong. Too strong. While they might need
> therapy, I don't think being a general control freak enters in. My SIL
> is pretty easy about darned near everything. Kimberly seems to be so,
> also.

Both of my brother's sons were very picky eaters when they were little.
(Not so much now, but maybe enough to fit anyone's notion of "picky".)

They aren't control freaks, but my sister-in-law sure is. My DH and I
decided the reason the boys were so picky were because about the only
element in their lives they were allowed to choose was what they wouldn't
eat.

I'm not a picky eater at all. I'm not fond of cucumber and radishes, but
I'll eat them if they are served to me. I don't eat mollusks -- clams,
oysters, scallops, mussels -- because I developed an intolerance for them
when I was in my twenties. They taste fine going down, not so much coming
back up, if you catch my drift.

I try to feel sorry for people who are real picky eaters -- it must be a
miserable way to go through life. From time to time when someone tells me
they're a picky eater I reply, "How awful for you!" Based on the funny
looks I've gotten sometimes I have the impression that the picky eater
thinks being picky makes him superior in some way to those of us who are
cosmopolitan enough to eat a wide variety of foods.

I confess that I find being a picky eater a juvenile trait. This opinion is
bolstered by two incidents.

The first was a dinner party I once held, a kind of spur-of-the-moment thing
where I called people in the morning and said, "Come to dinner tonight."
This time (unusually for me) when guests asked if they could bring
something, I let them do so. A friend offered to bring a salad.

She brought a delicious spinach salad. I ended up serving the salad as a
first course, without thinking that my DH's brother and his wife did not eat
spinach.

Well, to be polite, they each took a small helping of salad. Then they each
took a large second helping. They were shocked to discover they actually
like raw spinach. Turns out they'd never had it before -- they could "tell
by looking at it they wouldn't like it."

Lawsamaisy -- you can tell by looking at something you wouldn't like it? Do
you never eat lobster because it looks like a large insect?

The other incident concerns the woman who brought the spinach salad. My
DH's company had some people from Australia visiting and I invited them and
a few friends to dinner. I planned a menu of American foods and included
pecan pie for dessert. I needed to make two pies to have enough and
although I would vastly have preferred to make two pecan pies, the spinach
salad friend had told me many times that she doesn't like nuts. I ended up
making an apple pie instead.

Imagine then my astonishment in seeing my friend larruping her way through
an extra large piece of pecan pie. "I made the apple pie specifically for
you," I sputtered, "since you don't eat nuts."

"Oh," she replied easily, "I eat pecan pie. I guess I'm not very
consistent."

One of our Australian guests didn't get any pecan pie.

Ever since then I haven't refrained from making a dish with nuts in it when
she was a guest. She never said anything, but if she had I would have told
her to pretend it was pecan pie.

Anny

Anny Middon wrote:


> I ended up serving the salad as a
> first course, without thinking that my DH's brother and his wife did not eat
> spinach.
>
> Well, to be polite, they each took a small helping of salad. Then they each
> took a large second helping. They were shocked to discover they actually
> like raw spinach. Turns out they'd never had it before -- they could "tell
> by looking at it they wouldn't like it."
>
> Lawsamaisy -- you can tell by looking at something you wouldn't like it? Do
> you never eat lobster because it looks like a large insect?


I had a younger cousin who lived on peanut butter and jelly
sandwiches with an
occasional slab of his mother's exceptional chocolate cake
from about age 8 till
he was married.

Whenever he was encouraged to try something else, he'd say
"I can't. My eyes
don't like it."

I haven't seen him in 40+ years so I have no idea what his
current food favorites are.

gloria p

"Anny Middon" ha scritto nel messaggio > Ever since then I haven't
refrained from making a dish with nuts in it when
> she was a guest. She never said anything, but if she had I would have
> told her to pretend it was pecan pie.
>
> Anny

I love your stories! My experience has been a lot like yours. BUT I
respect allergies, religious restrictions and intolerances. My kid has a
terrible sensitivity to iodine which precludes all seafoods, so I obviously
ask others if they have any of these problems. I also don't mind a bit if
someone at table skips a dish I made.
>
>

"Giusi" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Anny Middon" ha scritto nel messaggio > Ever since then I haven't
> refrained from making a dish with nuts in it when
>> she was a guest. She never said anything, but if she had I would have
>> told her to pretend it was pecan pie.
>>
>> Anny
>
> I love your stories! My experience has been a lot like yours. BUT I
> respect allergies, religious restrictions and intolerances. My kid has a
> terrible sensitivity to iodine which precludes all seafoods, so I
> obviously ask others if they have any of these problems. I also don't
> mind a bit if someone at table skips a dish I made.

I too respect allergies, religious restrictions and intolerances. I even
define "religious restrictions" pretty broadly -- I'll cook vegetarian or
even vegan for someone whose beliefs have nothing to do with a deity.

I also don't mind if someone skips a dish. BUT I resent making a dish
especially for someone only to have them eat the dish they swore they didn't
like.

My niece is coming for Easter dinner. The only meat she eats is chicken
breast, so I've decided to bake some chicken breasts in addition to the ham
I'll make. I'll make enough for everyone to have, because although I'm in
the mood for ham this year, I know others will eat it but prefer something
else. (OK, I'll admit it -- I'm not in the mood so much for ham as for the
split pea soup I'll make using the bone.)

My niece won't eat the potato dish I'm making, nor the cooked vegetables.
She will eat the croissants I'll make. I'm not making anything other than
the chicken in deference to her pickiness.

She's a freshman at University of Wisconsin. This year she lived in an
apartment, where she could cook and eat whatever she likes. Next year
though she'll be living in a sorority house. I'm really curious how she'll
manage.

Anny

"Giusi" wrote

> I love your stories! My experience has been a lot like yours. BUT I
> respect allergies, religious restrictions and intolerances. My kid has a
> terrible sensitivity to iodine which precludes all seafoods, so I
> obviously ask others if they have any of these problems. I also don't
> mind a bit if someone at table skips a dish I made.

Thats the hardest one for *me* to cook around. I can do it, but it isnt my
normal stuff. No Dashi for example. We had a dearly departed neighbor who
had problems with all seafoods (may have been iodine, I don't know). I
always had a few dishes he couldnt eat (and would warn him which they were
as it wasnt always obvious to the eye).

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:19:26 -0500 in rec.food.cooking, Melba's Jammin'
> wrote,
> My SIL is
>another story, not for posting, but I liketa smack 'im. :-0)

"But I don't like getting smacked."

"There now, that's just because you haven't had it done right. Try it
my way! I'm sure you'll like a good smack when you find out how mine
are!"

On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 12:07:01 -0700, David Harmon wrote:

> On Wed, 08 Apr 2009 11:19:26 -0500 in rec.food.cooking, Melba's Jammin'
> > wrote,
>> My SIL is
>>another story, not for posting, but I liketa smack 'im. :-0)
>
> "But I don't like getting smacked."
>
> "There now, that's just because you haven't had it done right. Try it
> my way! I'm sure you'll like a good smack when you find out how mine
> are!"

<snort>

your pal,
blake

"Giusi" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Melba's Jammin'" ha scritto nel messaggio
>
>> Kimberly's reply in Jill's thread, "Let's Talk About Picky Eater's Again
>> <G>" got me to wondering if there is a difference between picky and
>> fussy.
>
>> I am inclined to call Kimberly a fussy eater while I describe my
>> son-in-law as a picky eater. Kimberly's peculiarities make me roll my
>> eyes and say, "Ohfer. . . ! Whatever" and my son-in-law's leave me >
>> grumbling about how I am to prepare a dish to satisfy his peculiarities,
>> a big one of which is about textures. He wants Prego out of a jar with
>> ground beef browned and added but heaven forfend if the amendment to the
>> jarred stuff should included chopped onion or celery. I want to say,
>> "Ohfercrissake, just eat it, will you?"
>
> They are both controlling types. Food must be the one thing they were
> able to maintain control over. I wouldn't want to cook for either of
> them. Maybe I have control issues in the kitchen, but I swear if I am
> doing the work, I'm making the decisions. I could not care less what
> kindergarten hangover crap someone is carting around in adulthood. I want
> them to take it elsewhere. If I can politely eat squid, which I think is
> disgusting, her effing corn could touch the potatoes and his ground beef
> may be acquainted with spice and onion.
>>
>> Would my well known disdain for that which is beety put me into one of
>> the two categories? IMO, I'd say not, because there aren't that many
>> things I feel that strongly about. There are lots of things I'm not
>> fond of but will eat if they are set in front of me.
>>
>> I repeat my question: Is there a difference between a fussy eater and a
>> picky eater? How would you describe the differences?
>
> Nope, they are both control freaks and need therapy.

Totally agree. And a great deal of that is for the attention they receive.
They not only thrive on even negative attention but they love it that they
can twist you into doing something like preparing a special dish just for
them. Which they often won't even eat they just wanted the special
attention. And if you want a complete disaster have a vegan as a dinner
guest. I swear to god if ever I find one of those OCD whack jobs in my home
again I will drive them out any means including force feeding them raw
steak.

Paul