D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.

The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. I guess
it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. If
they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. Lefty, the
long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
reeks of something dead he got into out back. I haven't found the
dead something yet. He might have eaten all of it. He's going to
want to sleep with me tonight. The souls of the dammed in the furnace
of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.

So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. Dogs. Anyhow, he gags once.
Twice. Thrice. I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate. Don't
eat dead shit." Saying it like he comprehends more English than
"dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" Well he does get
"Drop it!" When he's in the mood to. But admonitions about proper
dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going to have
any behavioral effects. His wee brain ain't wired robustly enough for
that.

Talking to Lefty is, however, often more effective (or at least more
satisfying) than talking to Roscoe, who is old, almost deaf, mostly
blind and toothless. Also he has a heart condition and what the vet
calls "compromised kidneys." Also he seizes up several times a day
when something he isn't expecting looms into view. A screen door, for
example. His wee brain seems to short circuit and he comes down with
the blind staggers. The vet says it's a form of dementia. We rescued
Roscoe almost 15 years ago. He's what they call a rat terrier mix.

Molly is the dog we inherited when D's mom passed away. She's a lanky
strawberry blond mutt with a funny face and a funny gait. Her face is
funny because of her black button eyes and black button nose. Her
gait is funny because she looks like a tiny trotter horse when she
patrols the back yard in the morning. Molly's okay, except that the
day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus for hygienic
reasons that I've already said too much about. If you get my drift.

We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.

I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.

Dinner: homemade pizza with Point Reyes bleu cheese, chopped red
onion, olive oil and anchovy paste, and fresh basil leaves. On the
side: a salad of chopped watermelon, chopped avocado, and chopped
mango. Dressed with an olive oil, lime, serrano chile, and cilantro
vinaigrette.

A word about the basil: it volunteered this spring out in the
vegetable patch. Last year I planted holy basil, Thai basil, and some
other variety that I don't remember. What sprouted this spring was
the product of some seriously randomized cross-pollination. Even my
basil is a mutt.
--
modom

"It's almost too late to be early."
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

On Mon 02 Jun 2008 07:24:23p, modom (palindrome guy) told us...

> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
>
> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. I guess
> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. If
> they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. Lefty, the
> long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
> reeks of something dead he got into out back. I haven't found the
> dead something yet. He might have eaten all of it. He's going to
> want to sleep with me tonight. The souls of the dammed in the furnace
> of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.
>
> So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
> dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
> for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. Dogs. Anyhow, he gags once.
> Twice. Thrice. I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate. Don't
> eat dead shit." Saying it like he comprehends more English than
> "dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" Well he does get
> "Drop it!" When he's in the mood to. But admonitions about proper
> dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going to have
> any behavioral effects. His wee brain ain't wired robustly enough for
> that.
>
> Talking to Lefty is, however, often more effective (or at least more
> satisfying) than talking to Roscoe, who is old, almost deaf, mostly
> blind and toothless. Also he has a heart condition and what the vet
> calls "compromised kidneys." Also he seizes up several times a day
> when something he isn't expecting looms into view. A screen door, for
> example. His wee brain seems to short circuit and he comes down with
> the blind staggers. The vet says it's a form of dementia. We rescued
> Roscoe almost 15 years ago. He's what they call a rat terrier mix.
>
> Molly is the dog we inherited when D's mom passed away. She's a lanky
> strawberry blond mutt with a funny face and a funny gait. Her face is
> funny because of her black button eyes and black button nose. Her
> gait is funny because she looks like a tiny trotter horse when she
> patrols the back yard in the morning. Molly's okay, except that the
> day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus for hygienic
> reasons that I've already said too much about. If you get my drift.
>
> We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.
>
> I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.
>
> Dinner: homemade pizza with Point Reyes bleu cheese, chopped red
> onion, olive oil and anchovy paste, and fresh basil leaves. On the
> side: a salad of chopped watermelon, chopped avocado, and chopped
> mango. Dressed with an olive oil, lime, serrano chile, and cilantro
> vinaigrette.
>
> A word about the basil: it volunteered this spring out in the
> vegetable patch. Last year I planted holy basil, Thai basil, and some
> other variety that I don't remember. What sprouted this spring was
> the product of some seriously randomized cross-pollination. Even my
> basil is a mutt.

Or a mutant. :-)

The dinner sounds *good*!

> --
> modom
>
> "It's almost too late to be early."
> ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **
>



--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Monday, 06(VI)/02(II)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Some people act crazy, others aren't
acting.
-------------------------------------------

modom (palindrome guy) wrote:

> day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus for hygienic
> reasons that I've already said too much about. If you get my drift.
>
> We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.
>
> I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.
>
> Dinner:

By this time, I'd lost what little appetite I had. ;-)

Serene

On Jun 2, 7:24*pm, "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote:
> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. *I guess
> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. *If
> they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. *Lefty, the
> long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
> reeks of something dead he got into out back. *I haven't found the
> dead something yet. *He might have eaten all of it. *He's going to
> want to sleep with me tonight. *The souls of the dammed in the furnace
> of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.


You have obviously established yourself as the "alpha" dog in your
family!

Myrl Jeffcoat

On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 21:07:43 -0700 (PDT), Myrl Jeffcoat
> wrote:

>You have obviously established yourself as the "alpha" dog in your
>family!
>
Such an accomplishment. It may be why I was born.

OBFood: I bought a passel of marked-down serranos this afternoon. some
I pickled in dilute salted cider vinegar tonight. The rest I'm gonna
smoke tomorrow.
--

modom
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

On Mon 02 Jun 2008 10:04:10p, modom (palindrome guy) told us...

> On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 21:07:43 -0700 (PDT), Myrl Jeffcoat
> > wrote:
>
>>You have obviously established yourself as the "alpha" dog in your
>>family!
>>
> Such an accomplishment. It may be why I was born.
>
> OBFood: I bought a passel of marked-down serranos this afternoon. some
> I pickled in dilute salted cider vinegar tonight. The rest I'm gonna
> smoke tomorrow.

Be careful what you smoke! :-)

A few weeks ago I found some nice serranos at a good price. I made several
jars of serrano relish from them. First time, so I'm not sure how they'll
taste.

> --
>
> modom
> ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **
>



--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Monday, 06(VI)/02(II)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Two, ten, eleven. Eyes, fingers, toes.
- Gomez Addams
-------------------------------------------

On Jun 2, 10:04*pm, "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote:
> On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 21:07:43 -0700 (PDT), Myrl Jeffcoat
>
> > wrote:
> >You have obviously established yourself as the "alpha" dog in your
> >family!
>
> Such an accomplishment. *It may be why I was born.


I'm convinced of it!

On Tue 03 Jun 2008 01:02:17p, Myrl Jeffcoat told us...

> On Jun 2, 10:04*pm, "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote:
>> On Mon, 2 Jun 2008 21:07:43 -0700 (PDT), Myrl Jeffcoat
>>
>> > wrote:
>> >You have obviously established yourself as the "alpha" dog in your
>> >family!
>>
>> Such an accomplishment. *It may be why I was born.
>
>
> I'm convinced of it!
>
>

Is that the same as being "top dog"? :-)

--
Wayne Boatwright
-------------------------------------------
Tuesday, 06(VI)/03(III)/08(MMVIII)
-------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------
Was there dust on the mirror before
Hui-Neng wiped it off?
-------------------------------------------

On Mon, 02 Jun 2008 21:24:23 -0500, "modom (palindrome guy)"
> wrote:

>The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. I guess
>it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them.

Sorry guy, you're half right. Food rules for dogs.

--
See return address to reply by email
remove the smile first

"modom (palindrome guy)" > ha scritto nel messaggio
...
> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
> modom

It doesn't pay to be a coward if you have animals or babies. Good work,
Modom

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! That is so real!


>
> "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote in message
> ...

>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.

> I guess
>> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them.
>> If they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. Lefty,
>> the long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
>> reeks of something dead he got into out back. I haven't found the
>> dead something yet. He might have eaten all of it. He's going to
>> want to sleep with me tonight. The souls of the dammed in the
>> furnace of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.
>>
>> So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
>> dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
>> for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. Dogs. Anyhow, he gags once.
>> Twice. Thrice. I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate.
>> Don't eat dead shit." Saying it like he comprehends more English
>> than "dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" Well he does
>> get "Drop it!" When he's in the mood to. But admonitions about
>> proper dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going
>> to have any behavioral effects. His wee brain ain't wired robustly
>> enough for that.
>>
>> Talking to Lefty is, however, often more effective (or at least more
>> satisfying) than talking to Roscoe, who is old, almost deaf, mostly
>> blind and toothless. Also he has a heart condition and what the vet
>> calls "compromised kidneys." Also he seizes up several times a day
>> when something he isn't expecting looms into view. A screen door,
>> for example. His wee brain seems to short circuit and he comes down
>> with the blind staggers. The vet says it's a form of dementia. We
>> rescued Roscoe almost 15 years ago. He's what they call a rat
>> terrier mix.
>>
>> Molly is the dog we inherited when D's mom passed away. She's a
>> lanky strawberry blond mutt with a funny face and a funny gait. Her
>> face is funny because of her black button eyes and black button
>> nose. Her gait is funny because she looks like a tiny trotter horse
>> when she patrols the back yard in the morning. Molly's okay, except
>> that the day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus
>> for hygienic reasons that I've already said too much about. If you
>> get my drift.
>>
>> We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.
>>
>> I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.
>>
>> Dinner: homemade pizza with Point Reyes bleu cheese, chopped red
>> onion, olive oil and anchovy paste, and fresh basil leaves. On the
>> side: a salad of chopped watermelon, chopped avocado, and chopped
>> mango. Dressed with an olive oil, lime, serrano chile, and cilantro
>> vinaigrette.
>>
>> A word about the basil: it volunteered this spring out in the
>> vegetable patch. Last year I planted holy basil, Thai basil, and
>> some other variety that I don't remember. What sprouted this spring
>> was the product of some seriously randomized cross-pollination.
>> Even my basil is a mutt.
>> --
>> modom
>>
>> "It's almost too late to be early."
>> ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

On Jun 2, 9:24*pm, "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote:
> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. *Has been for almost a
> week. *There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
> week. *Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
>
> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. *I guess
> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. *If
> they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. *Lefty, the
> long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
> reeks of something dead he got into out back. *I haven't found the
> dead something yet. *He might have eaten all of it. *He's going to
> want to sleep with me tonight. *The souls of the dammed in the furnace
> of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.
>
> So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
> dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
> for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. *Dogs. *Anyhow, he gags once.
> Twice. *Thrice. *I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate. Don't
> eat dead shit." *Saying it like he comprehends more English than
> "dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" *Well he does get
> "Drop it!" *When he's in the mood to. *But admonitions about proper
> dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going to have
> any behavioral effects. *His wee brain ain't wired robustly enough for
> that.
>
If my life were as you described above, I would consider it Hell on
Earth.
God, why anyone would allow one of those filthy, stinking animals
inside their house, I don't know. Like you said, they'll eat carrion,
then breathe in your face, and expect to sllep with you. They're so
disgusting that many will happily chow down on cat shit.

> --
> modom

--Bryan

"Michael "Dog3"" > wrote in message
.121...
> Bobo Bonobo® > news:47939b8d-818b-4a0a-864e-
> : in rec.food.cooking
>
>> If my life were as you described above, I would consider it Hell on
>> Earth.
>> God, why anyone would allow one of those filthy, stinking animals
>> inside their house, I don't know. Like you said, they'll eat carrion,
>> then breathe in your face, and expect to sllep with you. They're so
>> disgusting that many will happily chow down on cat shit.
>
> You have just described small children that have the ability to crawl.
>
> Michael
>

ROFLMAO

On Jun 3, 8:55*am, "Michael \"Dog3\"" > wrote:
> Bobo Bonobo® > *news:47939b8d-818b-4a0a-864e-
> : in rec.food.cooking
>
> > If my life were as you described above, I would consider it Hell on
> > Earth.
> > God, why anyone would allow one of those filthy, stinking animals
> > inside their house, I don't know. *Like you said, they'll eat carrion,
> > then breathe in your face, and expect to sllep with you. *They're so
> > disgusting that many will happily chow down on cat shit.
>
> You have just described small children that have the ability to crawl.

Small children do not "eat carrion," nor "happily chow down on cat
shit."
Small children do not smell either, unless the parent seriously
neglects to bathe them. The keepers of human children generally make
sure they get bathed at least every two or three days. The keepers of
dogs almost all allow them to get quite stinky before they bathe
them. It is only a tiny minority of dog owners who thoroughly bathe
their dog(s) twice a week or more.

A house with a cat may or may not smell, depending on the owner's
fastidiousness about the litter box*, but houses with dogs nearly all
stink like dog. Do you know anyone who bathes their dogs sufficiently
frequently that their house does NOT smell like dog?

* Or if the cat is male, and as they often do, he pee around the house
to mark his territory.
>
> Michael

--Bryan

Bobo Bonobo® > wrote in

oups.com:

> Small children do not "eat carrion," nor "happily chow down
> on cat shit."

you never had a small child, did you?

> Small children do not smell either, unless the parent
> seriously neglects to bathe them. The keepers of human
> children generally make sure they get bathed at least every
> two or three days. The keepers of dogs almost all allow
> them to get quite stinky before they bathe them. It is
> only a tiny minority of dog owners who thoroughly bathe
> their dog(s) twice a week or more.

if you bathe a dog that frequently, they *will* stink! too
frequent bathing makes for more skin oil production, which
makes for stinkier dogs, which causes more bathing... it's a
vicious cycle.
BTW, i don't bathe my kid more than once/week except in the
summer when he actually gets dirty & needs it. excessive
bathing is also not so good for humans either.

> A house with a cat may or may not smell, depending on the
> owner's fastidiousness about the litter box*, but houses
> with dogs nearly all stink like dog. Do you know anyone
> who bathes their dogs sufficiently frequently that their
> house does NOT smell like dog?

i have had 11 indoor only cats at one time & my house did NOT
smell of cat. most people were surprised we even had a cat,
nevermind 11 of them.
i now have 5 indoor only cats & 3 indoor mostly dogs (and 2
barn cats who rarely come in and an outside mostly dog). my
house doesn't smell of either cat or dog. i find the smell of
dog rather repulsive, yet i have 4 of them... they do get
bathed as needed & (important thing here!) i keep their
*bedding* clean.
yeah, their bedding. each dog has a crate (well, the Great
Pyr/Border Collie has a room). no dogs upstairs. no dogs in
beds. preferably no dogs on the furniture, but Peanut, the
Boston Terrier, likes the lap thing so she gets special
treatment. my puppy (cattle dog/lab) sticks to my ankle, so
mostly sleeps under my computer chair until i put him to bed.

> * Or if the cat is male, and as they often do, he pee
> around the house to mark his territory.

female cats will do that as well, but they don't smell as bad
as unneutered males.

lee
--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.

> > * Or if the cat is male, and as they often do, he pee
> > around the house to mark his territory.
>
> *female cats will do that as well, but they don't smell as bad
> as unneutered males.
>

FYI, some neutered males do their fair share of territorial "marking,"
both inside and out, regardless of when they were neutered or whether
they have been inside all the time or not.

N.

Nancy2 > wrote in

oups.com:

>
>> > * Or if the cat is male, and as they often do, he pee
>> > around the house to mark his territory.
>>
>> *female cats will do that as well, but they don't smell as
>> bad as unneutered males.
>>
>
> FYI, some neutered males do their fair share of territorial
> "marking," both inside and out, regardless of when they
> were neutered or whether they have been inside all the time
> or not.

yes, i know, but females & neutered males just don't smell as
bad as an unneutered male.

lee
--
Last night while sitting in my chair
I pinged a host that wasn't there
It wasn't there again today
The host resolved to NSA.

Janet Baraclough wrote:
> You can buy a spray at the vet, which will neutralise the smell to
> human perception and also deter the cat from spraying that area again.
> In the UK the brandname is Feliway.
>
> Janet

There are other things like Nature's Miracle, IIRC. But, again, you
need to find all of the favored spots.

To some degree, too, a Feliway diffuser works to deter a cat from
spraying--but we'd need to have an awful lot of them.

--
Jean B.

"Michael "Dog3"" > wrote

> Bobo Bonobo® >

>> If my life were as you described above, I would consider it Hell on
>> Earth.
>> God, why anyone would allow one of those filthy, stinking animals
>> inside their house, I don't know. Like you said, they'll eat carrion,
>> then breathe in your face, and expect to sllep with you. They're so
>> disgusting that many will happily chow down on cat shit.
>
> You have just described small children that have the ability to crawl.

(laughing really loud) OMG, Michael, ain't it the truth.

nancy

Nancy Young wrote:
> "Michael "Dog3"" > wrote
>
>> Bobo Bonobo® >
>
>>> If my life were as you described above, I would consider it Hell on
>>> Earth.
>>> God, why anyone would allow one of those filthy, stinking animals
>>> inside their house, I don't know. Like you said, they'll eat
>>> carrion, then breathe in your face, and expect to sllep with you.
>>> They're so disgusting that many will happily chow down on cat shit.
>>
>> You have just described small children that have the ability to
>> crawl.
>
> (laughing really loud) OMG, Michael, ain't it the truth.

LOL

"modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote in message
...
> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
>


> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.

This line has had me laughing all morning. Thanks.
I hope you don't mind if I use it now and again.


I guess
> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. If
> they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. Lefty, the
> long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
> reeks of something dead he got into out back. I haven't found the
> dead something yet. He might have eaten all of it. He's going to
> want to sleep with me tonight. The souls of the dammed in the furnace
> of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.
>
> So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
> dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
> for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. Dogs. Anyhow, he gags once.
> Twice. Thrice. I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate. Don't
> eat dead shit." Saying it like he comprehends more English than
> "dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" Well he does get
> "Drop it!" When he's in the mood to. But admonitions about proper
> dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going to have
> any behavioral effects. His wee brain ain't wired robustly enough for
> that.
>
> Talking to Lefty is, however, often more effective (or at least more
> satisfying) than talking to Roscoe, who is old, almost deaf, mostly
> blind and toothless. Also he has a heart condition and what the vet
> calls "compromised kidneys." Also he seizes up several times a day
> when something he isn't expecting looms into view. A screen door, for
> example. His wee brain seems to short circuit and he comes down with
> the blind staggers. The vet says it's a form of dementia. We rescued
> Roscoe almost 15 years ago. He's what they call a rat terrier mix.
>
> Molly is the dog we inherited when D's mom passed away. She's a lanky
> strawberry blond mutt with a funny face and a funny gait. Her face is
> funny because of her black button eyes and black button nose. Her
> gait is funny because she looks like a tiny trotter horse when she
> patrols the back yard in the morning. Molly's okay, except that the
> day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus for hygienic
> reasons that I've already said too much about. If you get my drift.
>
> We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.
>
> I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.
>
> Dinner: homemade pizza with Point Reyes bleu cheese, chopped red
> onion, olive oil and anchovy paste, and fresh basil leaves. On the
> side: a salad of chopped watermelon, chopped avocado, and chopped
> mango. Dressed with an olive oil, lime, serrano chile, and cilantro
> vinaigrette.
>
> A word about the basil: it volunteered this spring out in the
> vegetable patch. Last year I planted holy basil, Thai basil, and some
> other variety that I don't remember. What sprouted this spring was
> the product of some seriously randomized cross-pollination. Even my
> basil is a mutt.
> --
> modom
>
> "It's almost too late to be early."
> ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

"Michael "Dog3"" > wrote in message
6.121...
> "Woolstitcher" > news:tDb1k.2964$uE5.2802
> @flpi144.ffdc.sbc.com: in rec.food.cooking
>
>>
>> "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
>>> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
>>> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
>>>
>>
>>
>>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.
>>
>> This line has had me laughing all morning. Thanks.
>> I hope you don't mind if I use it now and again.
>
> Humorous isn't it? I'm about to ship my dog up to Michael's. She just
> turned 19 and the phrase "cranky old bitch" just doesn't do justice to
> her. She is really needy and would be good company for Michael.
>
> If Missy lives much longer I'll be looking at colleges for her.
>
> Michael
>
>
>

I have a cranky ol' bitch too. We don't know how old she is, when we got
her from the shelter they said 9, one vet said 4 another vet said 7. We
have had her for about 6 yrs, so she is either 15, 9 or 13.
She is still good w/ the kids, but they get on her nerves. I know how she
feels. She isn't the only cranky ol' bitch in the house.

modom (palindrome guy) wrote:

> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to show.
>
> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. I guess
> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them. If
> they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. <snip>

Nah. Maybe if they had opposable thumbs AND access to a high limit
MasterCard, maybe.

I talk to my dogs all the time. The other day I was out back and Zane,
my male BC, brought me the last of the basketballs that serve as his
sheep surrogates. It was punctured, but that's nothing new, and it was
totally flat. I took it from him, pulling and prodding at it to see if
I could get it to inhale enough air to resume a roughly spherical
configuration. No joy. It remained stubbornly fortune cookie-shaped.

"Aw. Poor Zane", I commiserated. "And poor Zane's ball. Zanie killed
it. It's dead. Do you need a new ball? I'm going to go to the store.
Should I bring you a new ball? Yes? Okay, I promise, I'll bring you
a new ball."

How much did he understand? I don't know. He certainly knows what a
ball is, and each repetition of the the B word brought a head tilt. The
last sentence got a head tilt and a full body spin.

I started to take the expired basketball to the dumpster but thought
better of it. Even though it wouldn't roll he still liked to carry it
around.

My daughter and I drove up to Walmart for some potting soil and a couple
of more pots for her container garden. Fresh tomatoes and pepper for
salsa, yum. We checked out through the garden center and as I was
paying I realized I'd forgotten the ball. I waffled. He wouldn't know
I'd promised, and even if he did he'd forgive me. But I'd know.

So I handed our purchases to DD to take to the van and went back into
the store to the sporting goods section. Found a nice, fairly smooth
basketball for $17.00, went back to the garden center where a woman with
a completely full cart nipped in front of me and proceeded to check out
not only her 2 flats of petunias but about $150 worth of greeting cards,
shampoo, microwave popcorn, etc.

Now, the counter at the garden center isn't set up for that. So she was
taking things out of the cart and the poor checkout clerk was trying to
scan them and bag them as fast as she could as the line began to stack
up behind her. The woman shot me a nasty glare when I pointed out the
three cans of spray paint that had somehow gotten hidden behind her
plants when she replaced them in the cart.

And then she proceeded to pay for her purchase with gift cards. 15 $10
gift cards.

Meanwhile, my daughter called. She'd taken it on herself to drive the
van over and pick up the bags of soil, commenting offhandedly about the
wimpy brakes. She's not allowed to drive my van for that very reason.
That, and the fact that it has the handling characteristics of a
side-by-side refrigerator. She assured me that she hadn't actually hit
anything

Would Zane even remember the conversation about the ball? What if I
just stuffed it up this miserable skank's butt instead?

But I'd promised.

So I finally paid for my ball, found my undented van and drove home.
When we got there Zane was standing in the side yard looking through the
fence at us. Unusual. Normally the dogs don't bother coming around to
that side of the house when it's one of the family vehicles pulling up.
The gravel hurts their feet.

But there he was, waiting. When I stepped out and held up the sacred
orb he began yodeling joyously and spinning in circles. I stepped
through the gate, crossed the gravel pad and tossed the ball out into
the grass. He rocketed after it, dribbling it ahead of him, guiding it
with snout, shoulders and paws. I sat on the patio for a good half
hour, watching him herding his new ball. He'd break off every few
minutes to run up and throw himself into his cooling tank for a dip and
a drink, panting and grinning at me and splattering me with his sodden tail.

Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with all
the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to anybody?

Kathleen wrote:
> modom (palindrome guy) wrote:
>
>> D's away at a summer institute at Ohio State. Has been for almost a
>> week. There's nobody to talk to around here till she gets back next
>> week. Jeeze, I've been married a long time and it's starting to
>> show.
>>
>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah. I
>> guess it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed
>> them. If they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story.
>> <snip>
>
(and more snip)
> But there he was, waiting. When I stepped out and held up the sacred
> orb he began yodeling joyously and spinning in circles. I stepped
> through the gate, crossed the gravel pad and tossed the ball out into
> the grass. He rocketed after it, dribbling it ahead of him, guiding
> it with snout, shoulders and paws. I sat on the patio for a good half
> hour, watching him herding his new ball. He'd break off every few
> minutes to run up and throw himself into his cooling tank for a dip
> and
> a drink, panting and grinning at me and splattering me with his
> sodden tail.
>
LOL

> Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with
> all
> the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to
> anybody?

What a wonderful, entertaining story! Thanks for sharing this, Kathleen.
I'm so glad Zane got his new basketball

Jill <--thinks they understand more than they let on

"Kathleen" > wrote in message
...
<snip>
> I talk to my dogs all the time. The other day I was out back and Zane, my
> male BC, brought me the last of the basketballs that serve as his sheep
> surrogates. It was punctured, but that's nothing new, and it was totally
> flat. I took it from him, pulling and prodding at it to see if I could
> get it to inhale enough air to resume a roughly spherical configuration.
> No joy. It remained stubbornly fortune cookie-shaped.
>
> "Aw. Poor Zane", I commiserated. "And poor Zane's ball. Zanie killed
> it. It's dead. Do you need a new ball? I'm going to go to the store.
> Should I bring you a new ball? Yes? Okay, I promise, I'll bring you a
> new ball."
>
> How much did he understand? I don't know. He certainly knows what a ball
> is, and each repetition of the the B word brought a head tilt. The last
> sentence got a head tilt and a full body spin.
<snip>
> Would Zane even remember the conversation about the ball? What if I just
> stuffed it up this miserable skank's butt instead?
>
> But I'd promised.
>
> So I finally paid for my ball, found my undented van and drove home. When
> we got there Zane was standing in the side yard looking through the fence
> at us. Unusual. Normally the dogs don't bother coming around to that
> side of the house when it's one of the family vehicles pulling up. The
> gravel hurts their feet.
>
> But there he was, waiting. When I stepped out and held up the sacred orb
> he began yodeling joyously and spinning in circles. I stepped through the
> gate, crossed the gravel pad and tossed the ball out into the grass. He
> rocketed after it, dribbling it ahead of him, guiding it with snout,
> shoulders and paws. I sat on the patio for a good half hour, watching him
> herding his new ball. He'd break off every few minutes to run up and
> throw himself into his cooling tank for a dip and a drink, panting and
> grinning at me and splattering me with his sodden tail.
>
> Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with all
> the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to anybody?

<sniffle> I LOVE this story. You're a woman after my own heart. Zane is a
lucky boy to have you as his mom, and think of all the basketballs he's
saved from wandering off into the tundra (not to mention those he's given
the Dracula treatment....) I usually skip off topic posts/threads (even
though this one did have a food reference) but I'm glad I read this,
Kathleen!

TammyM

Janet Baraclough wrote:

>>"Kathleen" > wrote in message
...
>
>
>>>How much did he understand? I don't know.
>
>
> LOL. We used to have a BC X GS cross who understood many scores of
> words and complex instructions, and we could see her eavesdropping
> human conversations so that she could plan her activities.. She
> certainly understood as much language as a child aged around 2. In the
> end we had to start spelling out words in letters if we didn't want her
> to interfere with what we were doing. J swore that she was learning to
> spell .

My daughter and I use Spanish to negotiate dog-related chores. Do they
need to be done now, asap or by 6 pm, for instance. However, any
mention of meals or any eating related words, or anything related to
exercise, practice or play would trigger an immediate storm of begging
that would make postponement a practical impossibility.

We have to be careful, though. All english verbal commands are given
with the related hand signal. We have to be very careful not to
accidentally use hand signs with the related spanish terms - Cooper
(jack russell terrier) has already learned to translate "to eat" from
Spanish to English as a result of careless hand signals.

Kathleen wrote:
> Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with
> all the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to
> anybody?

Kathleen, take a look at the following, and tell me your dog doesn't
understand )

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0jNC_w1tSw

Ophelia wrote:
> Kathleen wrote:
>> Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with
>> all the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to
>> anybody?
>
> Kathleen, take a look at the following, and tell me your dog doesn't
> understand )
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0jNC_w1tSw

That's incredibly cute!

Jill

Ophelia wrote:

> Kathleen wrote:
>
>>Did he know? Yes. No. Maybe. It was worth it, though, even with
>>all the extra hassle. How often can you bring that kind of joy to
>>anybody?
>
>
> Kathleen, take a look at the following, and tell me your dog doesn't
> understand )
>
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0jNC_w1tSw
>
>

I've got three dogs; 8 year old Scully (BC), 6 year old Zane (BC), and 5
year old Cooper (JRT). Along with my 17 year old daughter and 13 year
old son we form the core of my flyball club's A-team, Bad Co.

Flyball is a 4 dog relay race. The dogs go down a lane over 4 hurdles,
hit a springloaded box that fires a tennis ball, grab the ball and come
back over the hurdles. First team with all four dogs back wins.

The game is like a dance, each team with four dogs, four handlers and a
boxloader coordinating their movements down to the hundredths of a
second with the dogs passing nose to nose at the entrance to the jump
lane and slingshotting themselves off the box in four-footed, banked
swimmer's turns. Starts and passes are monitored by a computerized
electric eye beam sensor.

It takes skill, timing and absolute trust. Returning dogs are rewarded
with favorite treats, games of tug, wild adulation and praise and best
of all, the chance to line up and do it again in the next heat. For
handlers, it's pretty much the most fun you can have with your pants on.
For the dogs, it's sex, drugs and rock and roll.

Zane is the fastest dog in the club. I can't give you his speed in mph
but I can tell you that the jump lane is 51 feet from the gate to the
box. So, 102 feet in total, including 8 jumps and a U-turn. Zane's
fastest recorded split is 3.76 seconds.

Like most flyball dogs, Zane lives for the game. Lots of dogs enjoy
their various activities but you never see an obedience dog, for
instance, literally screaming to get into the ring. He would play all
day, every day, given the opportunity. Tournament weekends are his idea
of heaven.

This isn't my club although we've run against these guys at a couple of
tournaments. It is one of the better flyball videos I've seen, giving a
good feel for the excitement of the game:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1tiujThcEE

Our club members range in age from 13 to 78. In the freestyle video the
dog's young handler says something like, "If it wasn't for Gin I'd have
no life at all. She's always there for me". One of the older women in
our club came to dogs relatively late in life and will tell you that it
opened up a whole new world for her. That she's literally having the
time of her life training and traveling with the club.

Her experience is far from unique. The bond between dog and handler
runs bone deep. It's not at all uncommon to hear handlers say things
like, "I saved her and she saved me". Many people have come out of some
very dark places on the end of a lead, rescued by the grace of
unconditional love.

So, to Bryan, yeah, you bet I let those "filthy, stinking animals" in my
house. When I read aloud to my son - yeah, he still wants me to read to
him - all three dogs pile in bed with us, squeezing into the available
spaces and listening attentively. And that's where they spend the
night, too (the dogs, not the kid). I feel sorry for you, and wonder
what could have happened to afflict you with such a poverty of the spirit.

Kathleen wrote:
> I've got three dogs; 8 year old Scully (BC), 6 year old Zane (BC),
> and 5 year old Cooper (JRT). Along with my 17 year old daughter and
> 13 year old son we form the core of my flyball club's A-team, Bad Co.
>
> Flyball is a 4 dog relay race. The dogs go down a lane over 4
> hurdles, hit a springloaded box that fires a tennis ball, grab the
> ball and come back over the hurdles. First team with all four dogs
> back wins.
> The game is like a dance, each team with four dogs, four handlers and
> a boxloader coordinating their movements down to the hundredths of a
> second with the dogs passing nose to nose at the entrance to the jump
> lane and slingshotting themselves off the box in four-footed, banked
> swimmer's turns. Starts and passes are monitored by a computerized
> electric eye beam sensor.
>
> It takes skill, timing and absolute trust. Returning dogs are
> rewarded with favorite treats, games of tug, wild adulation and
> praise and best of all, the chance to line up and do it again in the next
> heat. For
> handlers, it's pretty much the most fun you can have with your pants
> on. For the dogs, it's sex, drugs and rock and roll.
>
> Zane is the fastest dog in the club. I can't give you his speed in
> mph but I can tell you that the jump lane is 51 feet from the gate to
> the box. So, 102 feet in total, including 8 jumps and a U-turn. Zane's
> fastest recorded split is 3.76 seconds.
>
> Like most flyball dogs, Zane lives for the game. Lots of dogs enjoy
> their various activities but you never see an obedience dog, for
> instance, literally screaming to get into the ring. He would play all
> day, every day, given the opportunity. Tournament weekends are his
> idea of heaven.
>
> This isn't my club although we've run against these guys at a couple
> of tournaments. It is one of the better flyball videos I've seen,
> giving a good feel for the excitement of the game:
> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n1tiujThcEE

Ohhhhhhhhh those dogs are having such a good time)))))))))))


>
> Our club members range in age from 13 to 78. In the freestyle video
> the dog's young handler says something like, "If it wasn't for Gin
> I'd have no life at all. She's always there for me". One of the
> older women in our club came to dogs relatively late in life and will
> tell you that it opened up a whole new world for her. That she's
> literally having the time of her life training and traveling with the
> club.
> Her experience is far from unique. The bond between dog and handler
> runs bone deep. It's not at all uncommon to hear handlers say things
> like, "I saved her and she saved me". Many people have come out of
> some very dark places on the end of a lead, rescued by the grace of
> unconditional love.

Thank you so much for your posts We have enjoyed them very much (my hub
and me).

Ophelia wrote:


>
> Thank you so much for your posts We have enjoyed them very much (my hub
> and me).

My dogs at our favorite local trail. Zane is the bigger border collie
with the black left foreleg.

http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=...caleid=en _US

modom (palindrome guy) wrote:

> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.

Oblique tie-in: Messiah and dog...

"There is a Christian legend of unknown origin that proclaims that the
cross used to crucify Jesus was constructed of dogwood.[3] As the story
goes, during the time of Jesus, the dogwood was larger and stronger than
it is today and was the largest tree in the area of Jerusalem. After his
crucifixion, Jesus changed the plant to its current form: he shortened it
and twisted its branches to assure an end to its use for the construction
of crosses. He also transformed its inflorescence into a representation of
the crucifixion itself, with the four white bracts cross-shaped, which
represent the four corners of the cross, each bearing a rusty indentation
as of a nail and the red stamens of the flower, represents Jesus' crown of
thorns, and the clustered red fruit represent his blood." - wiki

And:

http://www.visualforces.com/images/vfp100_dogwood.jpg


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On Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:30:11 -0700, Blinky the Shark
> wrote:

>modom (palindrome guy) wrote:
>
>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.
>
>Oblique tie-in: Messiah and dog...
>
>"There is a Christian legend of unknown origin that proclaims that the
>cross used to crucify Jesus was constructed of dogwood.[3] As the story
>goes, during the time of Jesus, the dogwood was larger and stronger than
>it is today and was the largest tree in the area of Jerusalem. After his

Lefty and Roscoe don't got no dog wood. They've been neutered.
--

modom
** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **

modom (palindrome guy) wrote:

> On Tue, 03 Jun 2008 12:30:11 -0700, Blinky the Shark
> > wrote:
>
>>modom (palindrome guy) wrote:
>>
>>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.
>>
>>Oblique tie-in: Messiah and dog...
>>
>>"There is a Christian legend of unknown origin that proclaims that the
>>cross used to crucify Jesus was constructed of dogwood.[3] As the story
>>goes, during the time of Jesus, the dogwood was larger and stronger than
>>it is today and was the largest tree in the area of Jerusalem. After his
>
> Lefty and Roscoe don't got no dog wood. They've been neutered.

Well, that's a bitch. Not that they'd be interested in that, any more.


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