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Posted to rec.food.cooking
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Talking to the dogs
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!! That is so real!
>
> "modom (palindrome guy)" > wrote in message
> ...
>> The dogs are following me around like I'm the canine messiah.
> I guess
>> it's because I'm marginally smarter than they are and I feed them.
>> If they had opposable thumbs, it would be a different story. Lefty,
>> the long haired dachshund, barfed twice this afternoon and his breath
>> reeks of something dead he got into out back. I haven't found the
>> dead something yet. He might have eaten all of it. He's going to
>> want to sleep with me tonight. The souls of the dammed in the
>> furnace of hell want glasses of iced tea, too.
>>
>> So I'm making dinner tonight, trying not to think about doing the
>> dog-towel laundry that must be done, and Lefty's at my feet, waiting
>> for stuff to fall so he can scarf it. Dogs. Anyhow, he gags once.
>> Twice. Thrice. I'm saying to him: "It's the dead shit you ate.
>> Don't eat dead shit." Saying it like he comprehends more English
>> than "dinner" and "outside," and "where's your baby?" Well he does
>> get "Drop it!" When he's in the mood to. But admonitions about
>> proper dietary considerations and eating dead shit aren't ever going
>> to have any behavioral effects. His wee brain ain't wired robustly
>> enough for that.
>>
>> Talking to Lefty is, however, often more effective (or at least more
>> satisfying) than talking to Roscoe, who is old, almost deaf, mostly
>> blind and toothless. Also he has a heart condition and what the vet
>> calls "compromised kidneys." Also he seizes up several times a day
>> when something he isn't expecting looms into view. A screen door,
>> for example. His wee brain seems to short circuit and he comes down
>> with the blind staggers. The vet says it's a form of dementia. We
>> rescued Roscoe almost 15 years ago. He's what they call a rat
>> terrier mix.
>>
>> Molly is the dog we inherited when D's mom passed away. She's a
>> lanky strawberry blond mutt with a funny face and a funny gait. Her
>> face is funny because of her black button eyes and black button
>> nose. Her gait is funny because she looks like a tiny trotter horse
>> when she patrols the back yard in the morning. Molly's okay, except
>> that the day after D left I had to trim the hairs around her anus
>> for hygienic reasons that I've already said too much about. If you
>> get my drift.
>>
>> We have too many dogs. And they have too many issues.
>>
>> I have to wash my hands a lot because of them.
>>
>> Dinner: homemade pizza with Point Reyes bleu cheese, chopped red
>> onion, olive oil and anchovy paste, and fresh basil leaves. On the
>> side: a salad of chopped watermelon, chopped avocado, and chopped
>> mango. Dressed with an olive oil, lime, serrano chile, and cilantro
>> vinaigrette.
>>
>> A word about the basil: it volunteered this spring out in the
>> vegetable patch. Last year I planted holy basil, Thai basil, and
>> some other variety that I don't remember. What sprouted this spring
>> was the product of some seriously randomized cross-pollination.
>> Even my basil is a mutt.
>> --
>> modom
>>
>> "It's almost too late to be early."
>> ** Posted from http://www.teranews.com **
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