It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)

I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

--Lia

Julia Altshuler > wrote in
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04:

> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we
> were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the
> middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over
> to interupt to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my
> attention away from my dining companions to pay attention to her to
> reassure her that everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was
> interrupted.)
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was
> looking around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any
> good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> --Lia

You won't change their habits, but you might change their immediate
behavior by telling the waitperson (as you are being served) that you'd
rather not be disturbed while eating, and that you'll let them know if
you need anything during the meal.

Wayne

In article <KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04>,
Julia Altshuler > wrote:
>
>
>It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
>I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
>around for the server trying to catch their eye?

Complain to management that you are receiving too much service.
I'm being serious. I think the waiters are trained to always
check on the customer and I find it annoying when a waiter comes by
every five minutes to ask me everything is OK. Applebee's is specially
horrible about this. I think it's a big waste of time. All I ask
from waiters is:

- Take my order on time
- If my order is taking a long time, be corteous enough to let me know
- Keep me refilled on drinks
- Get me my bill quickly once I ask for it (this realy irks me and I
quickly lower tips to $0 if I have to wait too long for my bill)
- Take care of the bill quickly once I've provided payment
- At the same time, don't try to rush me out just to get more customers
in the door.

If I need anything else, I'll flag them down.

> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
>not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
>of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

I agree that they wouldn't directly see the connection. If you don't
want to get the waiter in trouble, leave a note in the comment card.

~Deepak

--
Deepak Saxena - - http://www.plexity.net

On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 06:32:57 +0000 (UTC),
(Deepak Saxena) wrote:

>- Get me my bill quickly once I ask for it (this realy irks me and I
> quickly lower tips to $0 if I have to wait too long for my bill)
>- Take care of the bill quickly once I've provided payment

On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 06:32:57 +0000 (UTC),
(Deepak Saxena) wrote:

>- Get me my bill quickly once I ask for it (this realy irks me and I
> quickly lower tips to $0 if I have to wait too long for my bill)
>- Take care of the bill quickly once I've provided payment

These are my two problems every darn time.

Julia Altshuler wrote:
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we
> were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the
> middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over
> to interupt to ask if everything is alright.
(snip)
> --Lia

Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".

You want to hear about rude, try this. Ray and I went to dinner at
O'Charley's. The hostess took us to the section; the table hadn't been
bussed. She shoved the menus in my hand, said, "Someone will come clean
this in a minute" and walked off. EXCUSE ME? We stood there by a dirty
table cooling our heels! I said something to the bartender about it; he
immediately got a manager who found us another table and made sure we were
checked on regularly.

Jill

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:04:26 GMT, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:

>It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
>I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
>around for the server trying to catch their eye?

I agree with Steve and Jill. Unless you're dining in an exclusive
restaurant with a good waitperson/customer ratio, you shouldn't expect
exclusive, mind-reading service. Other people don't consider "Is
everything fine?" a trivial question and would be irritated to have to
flag down someone when they want something. I've found that it's more
distracting to conversation to have everyone at the table splitting
their attention trying to catch a busy server's eye, than it is to ask
for water when they stop at the table.

>Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
>conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?

There's no reason why you can't. I'm sure the waiter has heard
various requests and won't bat an eye. Just don't get irritated if
they don't stop back until the end of the meal!

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:31:27 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> wrote:

>Julia Altshuler > wrote in
>news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04:
>
>> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we
>> were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the
>> middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over
>> to interupt to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my
>> attention away from my dining companions to pay attention to her to
>> reassure her that everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was
>> interrupted.)

>You won't change their habits, but you might change their immediate
>behavior by telling the waitperson (as you are being served) that you'd
>rather not be disturbed while eating, and that you'll let them know if
>you need anything during the meal.

Waay too reasonable for rfc. :-) I don't remember any waitress
"training" when I served, but I'm sure some establishments
suggest/require that waiters regularly visit tables with those chirpy
inquiries. There's also the difficulty of judging which patrons prefer
upscale service (no queries; no "my name is Pat and I'll be..."; just
noticing when something is required and supplying it, and which are
used to the chirpy, chain-restaurant "friendly" style which makes some
feel they're being neglected if no one stops by to inquire.

Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
> around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> --Lia

Yes, it's irritating when they keep asking if everything is all right, but
it's also irritating if everything is not all right and they can't be found.
They need to be available, but quiet. If something isn't all right, the
customers will say so.

Gary




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On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:04:26 GMT, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:

> Is it my imagination, or is it
>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>interrupt them with some trivial question?

It *is* rude in social situations. But dining where the staff is
expected or encouraged to provide "attention" to their tables makes it
annoying for you, but not rude for them. Easy enough to say, kindly,
after the first "is everything OK?" that yes, "everything's OK and
we'll let you know if we need anything." This, of course, will not
work with people who don't listen. Waitering is not, in many places, a
skilled profession. Janie at the diner and Pierre at Chateau Boeuf may
be able to intuit exactly what kind of service their customers
require, but aspiring actors and recent high-school grads haven't a
clue. They're trying to do what they think is expected.

Frogleg wrote:
> On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:31:27 GMT, Wayne Boatwright
> > wrote:
>
>> Julia Altshuler > wrote in
>> news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04:
>>
>>> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>>> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we
>>> were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the
>>> middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come
>>> over to interupt to ask if everything is alright.
(snip)
> Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
> slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
> signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
> a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

How about a flashing light?! ROFL

Julia Altshuler wrote:

> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.

My son has wait staff figured out. He claims that they come around and check
that everything is okay when you have a mouthful of food or are busy in
conversation. And I have to say that I cringe when they use the popular
wait staff second person plural "yous"

My all time rudest waiter was in a restaurant in Vancouver. I had paid the
$66 bill with a $100 American Express travellers cheque. He came back with
more that $60 change. I called him over and told him that I thought he had
given me the incorrect change. He told me that he had checked the figures
carefully. I told him, no, there is not the correct change. He became very
snippy and insisted that he had given me the right change. I told him once
again that I thought it was incorrect. He got even snippier. So I dropped
it. I had tried three times that he had made an error. It would seem that he
had assumed that because it was American Express, that it was American
funds, and at that time the exchange rate was more than 25%. I did my best
to help him out, but he was so rude that he would not even give me a chance
to explain the misunderstanding.

Do you think I left an extra large tip to make up for him short changing
himself?
Fat chance

>My son has wait staff figured out. He claims that they come around and check
>that everything is okay when you have a mouthful of food or are busy in
conversation.

That is one of my pet peeves also. If I need something believe me I will let
someone know. One inquiry is fine but when they keep coming back... grrrrrrr

I have to say that is right up there the dentist asking questions when he has
his hands in your mouth. LOL

Nancy
Go Red Sox

(Deepak Saxena) writes:

>Complain to management that you are receiving too much service.
>I'm being serious. I think the waiters are trained to always
>check on the customer and I find it annoying when a waiter comes by
>every five minutes to ask me everything is OK. Applebee's is specially
>horrible about this.

Then why are you dining at ******** like Applebees? duh


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

In article >, Wayne Boatwright
> writes:

>Julia Altshuler > wrote in
>news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04:
>
>> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we
>> were slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the
>> middle of spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over
>> to interupt to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my
>> attention away from my dining companions to pay attention to her to
>> reassure her that everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was
>> interrupted.)
>>
>> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was
>> looking around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>>
>> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
>> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any
>> good?
>> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
>> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
>> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>>
>> --Lia
>
>You won't change their habits, but you might change their immediate
>behavior by telling the waitperson (as you are being served) that you'd
>rather not be disturbed while eating, and that you'll let them know if
>you need anything during the meal.


Then perhaps one should choose dining at a cafeteria... or choose a high end
multi-star restaurant... at these establishments one will never be interupted.
But if anyone expects no interaction with the hired help at a typical
family-style establishmet then they are nutso.


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 13:24:08 GMT, Frogleg > wrote:

>Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
>slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
>signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
>a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

It's a good idea but I suspect that all it would take would be one
short-staffed night with tons of customers waving their flags, making
it obvious that there is trouble, to retire the colors!

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

Dave Smith wrote:

> My son has wait staff figured out. He claims that they come around and check
> that everything is okay when you have a mouthful of food or are busy in
> conversation.

I'm reminded of my ex, we were in this expensive fancy restaurant,
so I guess he was on his best manners. Sure enough, he's got a
mouth full of food and the waitress shows up, how is everything.

(laugh) He put up his finger like ... wait ... and proceeded to
finish chewing his food. We both waited breathlessly while he
chewed and swallowed. My god, what is he going to say? Swallow.
Everything is fine, thank you. We both went like, geez! I mean,
I don't think we said it, but that was the reaction. He was just
trying to be polite. Grrrr.

At any rate, my response is probably a little wave and a nod. I
think that just not disappearing so that I have to crane my neck
for 10 minutes looking for you when I need another glass of wine
or iced tea, whatever, I think that's better than asking me how
everything is. If you're around and I don't try to catch your
eye, yeah, everything is okay.

nancy

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
> around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> --Lia
>

I think you are being far to picky. You were not the only table she had and
it is a balance for any good waitress to meet the customers needs . Most
people want more coffee or water or a refill on pop or another cocktail etc,
etc. If you are so firm in not being bothered tell the wait person that
after they bring the meal that you will nod or wave when and if you need
her/him.

peace,
Barbara

Z GIRL wrote:
> "Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
> news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
>
>>It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>>relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>>slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>>spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>>to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>>my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>>everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>>
>>I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>>rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>>interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>>something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
>>around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>>
>>Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
>>conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
>> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
>>not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
>>of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>>
>>--Lia


What? You must have the attention span of a hand ball!

Who the hell cares if someone is going to ask me if things are all
right; just say yes, thank you,and on with your conversation--providing
your short term memory isn't shot.

And the question is not trivial. He/She is making sure he/she gives you
A1 service, so that you can be satisfied and tip he/she good.

Geez! I call your problem, drowning in a glass of water.

Richard


--
"..A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava
beans and a nice chianti..."

Hannibal "The Cannibal"

Silence Of The Lambs 1991

Julia Altshuler wrote:
>
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>


What one person perceives as rudeness, another
may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
interrupted or to search in vain for a server
when you might need something? I'm sure it's
a difficult call for a server who has to keep
track of many tables.

gloria p

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 23:21:12 GMT, Puester >
shared the following:

>Julia Altshuler wrote:
>>
>> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>>
>
>
>What one person perceives as rudeness, another
>may see as attentiveness. Is it worse to be
>interrupted or to search in vain for a server
>when you might need something? I'm sure it's
>a difficult call for a server who has to keep
>track of many tables.
>
>gloria p

The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
ideal for me.


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 19:31:31 -0400, travis
> wrote:

>The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
>is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
>finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
>anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
>minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
>desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
>POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
>when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
>them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
>later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
>alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
>ideal for me.

It is rather odd. Perhaps you should say "Please bring the check"
when they bring the food so they'll know what you want. I know I'd be
irritated if they plunked the check down while I was still eating,
except at diners, which are just a step above fast food
pay-before-you-eat.

Sue(tm)
Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 00:16:52 GMT, (Curly
Sue) shared the following:

>On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 19:31:31 -0400, travis
> wrote:
>
>>The one thing a waiter/waitress can do that really gets on my nerves
>>is to not bring the check in a timely manner. I *hate* it when I
>>finish eating and have to wait 10+ minutes for the check. So I don't,
>>anymore. If they don't have the check on the table within 5 or so
>>minutes after I'm finished eating, I just get up and walk to the front
>>desk and tell them I'm finished and am ready to pay. I do that
>>POLITELY but still I get the most shocked looks from them sometimes
>>when they ask for my check and I tell them I never got one. I like
>>them to serve the food and then bring the check by about 5 minutes
>>later and ask me if everything's ok right then, and then leave me
>>alone. I'm not rude if they don't do that, but that's just what's
>>ideal for me.
>
>It is rather odd. Perhaps you should say "Please bring the check"
>when they bring the food so they'll know what you want. I know I'd be
>irritated if they plunked the check down while I was still eating,
>except at diners, which are just a step above fast food
>pay-before-you-eat.
>
>Sue(tm)
>Lead me not into temptation... I can find it myself!

I just normally eat quickly. When I finish I feel like "Time to go.
I'd rather be doing things other than sitting here waiting for them to
tell me how much $ I owe them." I ate at a place about 1/2 mile from
my house just yesterday morning for breakfast with my wife. The food
was great, they brought it really soon after we ordered it (I had an
open-faced omlet in a skillet thingie with mushrooms and ham and
cheese and other delicous ingredients on it). The waitress stopped by
once after she put the food on the table and asked if we needed
anything else right then. We didn't, and she left the check. We both
enjoyed our breakfast, and then got up and left when we wanted to
because we didn't have to wait for the check. That was the second
time we ate there and the service was just as good as the first time.
The name of the place is "Courtney's." I'm not sure if it's a chain
or not, but we'll be back again. Maybe that's a good tip, though...
About just saying up front "Please bring me the check" as soon as they
serve the food. I've replied "Just the check." before when the server
comes up and asks how things are and if they can bring me anything
else. "Just the check. Now. Please." :-)


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

On Sun, 05 Oct 2003 06:04:26 GMT, Julia Altshuler
> wrote:

>It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
>I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
>around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
>Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
>conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
>not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
>of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
>--Lia

Take a little flag on a pole like Panchos and inform the waitress of
your system. You'll raise the flag when you want her. I am being
silly, of course, but it's a good idea. Today i went out to breakfast
and when i ordered, i ordered my check as well and she brought it with
my meal. I tipped her 40%.

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
> around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
> conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> --Lia
>


Yeahbut......what kinda restaurant was it? One of those 'family'
restaurants? A TGIF or other such place? I ask because one can't expect 5
star service in a 2 star joint.

Jack Waitri

On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" > wrote:

> Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
> wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
> check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
> any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
> able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".

Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".

People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
clairvoyant.

In article >,
writes:

>People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather
>be
>interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food.
>Even
>then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to
>be
>clairvoyant.

But they can be expected to exhibit common courtesy... perhaps every restaurant
table needs a call button, as is installed on hospital beds... then diners can
expect to wait for the next shift to refill their coffee.


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

"Julia Altshuler" > wrote in message
news:KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04...
> It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
No one knows why you're flapping your gums when
they're waiting on you. For all they know you're
griping about your food.
If you weren't such a self centered, prattling, pipsqueak
you would be gracious enough to know this.
>
> I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> rough job, but it is getting harder.
>
Pray to God you never have to wait tables again. You never know
when fate and Karma will throw your butt in the gutter and take
everything from you. Suck that "sympathetic" teat for all it's
worth, you may need some from others someday.
>
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
People who "skin the tip" without letting the server know why
are sneak thieves, so at least you have some scruples.

Craig Welch wrote:

>
> >What if the table is enganged in conversation, though?
>
> They wait for a couple of moments. A lull in the conversation will
> follow. At that juncture, they can make their request. It's not that
> difficult, really.

They might also try using the words "excuse me". :-)

Frogleg > wrote in
:


>
> Maybe, in the absence of well-trained waitstaff alert for the
> slightest glance in their direction, restaurants could develop a
> signal mechanism -- "if you need anything, put up this flag or secure
> a napkin to the edge of the table." :-)

A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
why?

Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
have the flag system, albeit in other forms <g>.

--
Rhonda Anderson
Penrith, NSW, Australia

No... Don't complain to management... speak to your waiter/waitress... as a
him/her... like as if they're like you and me...

Ever heard the words "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM" ???


With you being one who has experience in the hospitality field, *share* your
experience with others that serve you like you serve others...

I HATE TATTLE-TALES!!!!!


--
Kendall F. Stratton III
Fort Fairfield, Maine USA

http://home.maine.rr.com/k3

"Support bacteria -- it's the only culture some people have!"

"Deepak Saxena" > wrote in message
...
> In article <KvOfb.688791$uu5.112026@sccrnsc04>,
> Julia Altshuler > wrote:
> >
> >
> >It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
> >relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
> >slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
> >spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
> >to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
> >my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
> >everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
> >
> >I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
> >rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
> >rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
> >interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
> >something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
> >around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
> Complain to management that you are receiving too much service.
> I'm being serious. I think the waiters are trained to always
> check on the customer and I find it annoying when a waiter comes by
> every five minutes to ask me everything is OK. Applebee's is specially
> horrible about this. I think it's a big waste of time. All I ask
> from waiters is:
>
> - Take my order on time
> - If my order is taking a long time, be corteous enough to let me know
> - Keep me refilled on drinks
> - Get me my bill quickly once I ask for it (this realy irks me and I
> quickly lower tips to $0 if I have to wait too long for my bill)
> - Take care of the bill quickly once I've provided payment
> - At the same time, don't try to rush me out just to get more customers
> in the door.
>
> If I need anything else, I'll flag them down.
>
> > I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
> >not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
> >of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
> I agree that they wouldn't directly see the connection. If you don't
> want to get the waiter in trouble, leave a note in the comment card.
>
> ~Deepak
>
> --
> Deepak Saxena - - http://www.plexity.net

Rhonda Anderson wrote:

> A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
> away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
> the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
> back to your table so they know where to bring the food.

Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.

I did go to this restaurant once, in Baltimore. Yes, leave it to me
to be unable to find crab cakes in Baltimore. So, wound up at the
Chart House, which in Boston is (was?) a nice restaurant. This was
more casual. Waitress came over, if you like our sandwiches, I'll
give you a token. Huh? We were looking at her thinking, well keep
the token, we're just visiting for the day. (laugh) Well, turns
out, if you wanted a sandwich, you had to take your token and go
stand on line. Well, I did, but that is a non-starter for me. I
feel like standing on line I'll go to Wendy's.

> We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
> experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
> airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
> when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
> thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
> The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
> assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
> righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
> why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
> appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
> why?
>
> Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
> something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
> you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
> have the flag system, albeit in other forms <g>.

Yeah, I just love dining in situations where you need to know the
secret handshake. How do they expect people to know if you don't
tell them? Like places where they expect you to pay up front but
just leave the bill and disappear. That's not customary for me, it
would be nice if they'd say, pay up front when you're ready. Instead
I sit there waiting for them to come back for the money.

nancy

On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
> shared the following:

>Rhonda Anderson wrote:
>
>> A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
>> away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
>> the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
>> back to your table so they know where to bring the food.
>
>Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
>I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
>order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.
>
>I did go to this restaurant once, in Baltimore. Yes, leave it to me
>to be unable to find crab cakes in Baltimore. So, wound up at the
>Chart House, which in Boston is (was?) a nice restaurant. This was
>more casual. Waitress came over, if you like our sandwiches, I'll
>give you a token. Huh? We were looking at her thinking, well keep
>the token, we're just visiting for the day. (laugh) Well, turns
>out, if you wanted a sandwich, you had to take your token and go
>stand on line. Well, I did, but that is a non-starter for me. I
>feel like standing on line I'll go to Wendy's.
>
>> We were discussing this system, and one of my colleagues told of his
>> experience at a restaurant at, IIRC, Singapore airport (perhaps another
>> airport, my memory's not that good). The table number was on a statue and
>> when the waiter delivered his meal he tipped the statue over. My colleague,
>> thinking nothing but to make the table look neat again, righted the statue.
>> The waiter came over shortly after, asked if everything was OK - on being
>> assured that it was, he tipped the statue over again and left. My colleague
>> righted the statue again, almost straight away (I think he was wondering
>> why the waiter kept tipping it over!) and shortly thereafter the manager
>> appeared to ask if he was sure that everything was OK. Yes it was, he said,
>> why?
>>
>> Apparently, the system in place at this restaurant was that if you wanted
>> something you raised the statue upright - when the waiter had dealt with
>> you, it was laid on its side again. So, it seems that some places already
>> have the flag system, albeit in other forms <g>.
>
>Yeah, I just love dining in situations where you need to know the
>secret handshake. How do they expect people to know if you don't
>tell them? Like places where they expect you to pay up front but
>just leave the bill and disappear. That's not customary for me, it
>would be nice if they'd say, pay up front when you're ready. Instead
>I sit there waiting for them to come back for the money.
>
>nancy

You know what drives me up the wall? The last two times I took my
wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
the whole time we were trying to eat. I wish people who want to have
a business dinner would let the person seating them know what they're
up to so that they could be seated somewhere that would hopefully
isolate them from the rest of the patrons so that we don't have to
listen to them spew about how great the company is doing and how their
fancy company car rides so smooth and all that crap. Sorry to rant.
That kind of thing just really irks me.


--
Travis
FOR SALE: '63 VW Camo Baja... $1000 *FIRM*
http://bugadventures.dyndns.org
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.


:wq!

"K3" > wrote in message
...
> No... Don't complain to management... speak to your waiter/waitress... as
a
> him/her... like as if they're like you and me...
>
> Ever heard the words "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM" ???
>
>
> With you being one who has experience in the hospitality field, *share*
your
> experience with others that serve you like you serve others...
>
> I HATE TATTLE-TALES!!!!!
>
> --
> Kendall F. Stratton III

There's no "tattling" involved. It's the job of management to supervise the
wait staff, and it is perfectly proper to complain about a server to
management. It is not the customer's job to train or supervise the wait
staff. If complaints all went directly to the waiter, the management would
have no way to know who was screwing up and ****ing off the customers on a
regular basis.


--
Peter Aitken

Remove the crap from my email address before using.

I think that I'd rather be bothered than be ignored. Happened to me
last night. I hated to do it, but after begging for my check and then
begging for my change, I simply left half of a torn dollar bill on the
table. I'm hoping the message was understood.



wrote in message >. ..
> On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" > wrote:
>
> > Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
> > wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
> > check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
> > any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
> > able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".
>
> Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
> or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".
>
> People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
> interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
> then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
> clairvoyant.

wrote in message >. ..
> On Sun, 5 Oct 2003 05:45:36 -0500, "jmcquown" > wrote:
>
> > Would you rather have to wave your arms over your head if something *were*
> > wrong? I was a server; the companies I worked for insisted I go back and
> > check mid-meal to make sure everything was satisfactory. I can't imagine
> > any conversation at a restaurant being *that* intense that you wouldn't be
> > able to break off and say "We're fine, thanks".
>
> Exactly. Most people can manage to stay focused long enough to say "We're okay"
> or "Could you bring (whatever is needed)?".
>
> People are generally either eating or talking when they dine. I would rather be
> interrupted in the midst of a conversation, than with a mouthful of food. Even
> then, a nod and a smile will suffice. One can hardly expect the waitstaff to be
> clairvoyant.

>i have had that happen to me as a server in a restraunt i am currntly
working at a local pizza hut and a few of the waitresses do not like
doing there job when it has to be done. i have found my self doing
there job when i have work to do myself

travisty writes:
>
>You know what drives me up the wall?

Do tell.

>The last two times I took my
>wife out to dinner to have a nice meal, somebody else decided to try
>to impress their business associate by taking them out to dinner and
>sat at a table next to us and BLAH BLAH BLAHed about business stuff
>the whole time we were trying to eat.

You expect to pay under $20 for two and have the entire joint all to
yourself...

And this is somehow due to the wait staff's rudeness... duh! Sounds more like
you're a cheap ******* who drags his wife to some fercocktah low-class chain
eatery and then expects a 5-star dining experience. Idiot.


---= BOYCOTT FRENCH--GERMAN (belgium) =---
---= Move UNITED NATIONS To Paris =---
Sheldon
````````````
"Life would be devoid of all meaning were it without tribulation."

"PENMART01" > wrote in message
...

> ......
> But they can be expected to exhibit common courtesy... perhaps every
restaurant
> table needs a call button, as is installed on hospital beds... then diners
can
> expect to wait for the next shift to refill their coffee.
> ......

"Server, please remove the dishes now, bring the coffee
and dessert menu and you might check whether the
catheter is still attached, the veal piccata smelled
somewhat off."

pavane

>It happened again tonight. We ate the first part of our meal in
>relative silence since we don't like to talk much as we eat. As we were
>slowing down, we started talking more. Only when we're in the middle of
>spirited conversation does the waiter or waitress come over to interupt
>to ask if everything is alright. I have to take my attention away from
>my dining companions to pay attention to her to reassure her that
>everything is fine. (Or it was fine until I was interrupted.)
>
>I was a waitress. I'm trying to be sympathetic to someone who has a
>rough job, but it is getting harder. Is it my imagination, or is it
>rude to walk straight up to people in the middle of conversation to
>interrupt them with some trivial question? Surely if there were
>something wrong, wouldn't that be obvious by the fact that I was looking
>around for the server trying to catch their eye?
>
>Is there a solution? May I explain that I'm in the middle of a
>conversation and don't wish to be interrupted? Would that do any good?
> I never take my irritation out on the servers' tip because even I'm
>not that cantankerous and because I know the servers would have no way
>of making the connection between their interruption and the lower tip.
>
>--Lia
>
>
>

Well I'm sure you were just the perfect waitress at all times. Perhaps you
should start teaching a course on how to wait tables and deal with snooty
customers such as yourself. You could teach new waiters how to read people's
minds so they would know whether a dining party wanted to be left alone during
most of the dinner or if they wanted the wait staff to constantly check to see
if anything else was needed. Perhaps you might try a system where people can
call the waiters on their cell phones. As far as reducing the tip is
concerned, you were totally wrong for doing so. I only reduce the tip if the
waiter is definitely rude or unattentive. I don't consider interrupting a
conversation for two seconds to ask if the dinner is okay to be rude. Was your
conversation really that important? I also don't reduce the tip if there are
problems beyond the waiter's control such as problems in the kitchen.

Craig Welch wrote:
>
> On Mon, 06 Oct 2003 10:44:48 -0400, Nancy Young
> > wrote:
>
> >Rhonda Anderson wrote:
> >
> >> A group of us had to go to Canberra for a conference a couple of weeks
> >> away. First night there we went to an Irish pub for dinner where they used
> >> the system where you order at the counter and are given a number to take
> >> back to your table so they know where to bring the food.
> >
> >Yuck, I hate it. I expect service like that from a fast food place.
> >I go to a restaurant, I want to sit down and have someone take my
> >order. No, I wouldn't go there again. Talk about impersonal.
>
> Did you miss the part where she said it was in a pub?

Did you miss the part where a pub is the *LAST* place you expect to
'take a number'???! I frequent pubs *because* of the personal
attention.

nancy