"Tom Kraemer" > wrote

> Partially as a result of this childhood trauma, I have relegated my
> microwave oven to the pile of stuff I probably should sell or just
> throw away. Any foodstuffs that have the recommended heating method
> of 'microwave' is probably full of fat and sodium. You might as well
> just fry up a pound of bacon. In a frying pan, goddammit.
>
> Join me!! Toss your microwave in the trash, and use a toaster oven or
> a real toaster or a real oven!! Microwaves are for SUCKERS!!!

Once, while drunk, I tried to poach an egg in a microwave.
It exploded. I now know how to coat a microwave's insides
with egg matter. McGiver ain't got nothin' on me. I did
eventually figure out how to poach an egg in a microwave,
but it's far simpler to boil water on a stove.

I use it for heating water to make instant coffee, and for
cooking Healthy Choice frozen dinners. And the occaisonal
Hormel Chili. As such, it is an "eco-friendly" mechanism
for heating certain products. For actual cooking of real
food, microwaves are fairly useless. Nuking pastry type
stuff for 10-20 seconds to reheat it is useful, but it is
real easy to nuke it too long making it SOGGY.

Rubbery and soggy are microwave trademarks. Bread abhores
a microwave, but not cooked pasta, which is soggy pretty
much by definition. Hot Pockets actually figured out how
to crisp in a microwave, but I can't afford to eat those
grease bombs anymore health-wise.

Good toaster ovens rock, but for toast I use a toaster.
Right tool for the job and all that.

--oTTo--

Otto Bahn > wrote:
>Once, while drunk, I tried to poach an egg in a microwave.
>It exploded. I now know how to coat a microwave's insides
>with egg matter. McGiver ain't got nothin' on me. I did
>eventually figure out how to poach an egg in a microwave,
>but it's far simpler to boil water on a stove.

There is youtube video out there of how to generate a glowing plasma using
onlty a microwave, a lit match, and an inverted shot glass. (It will end up
fracturing, then exploding, the shot glass.)

Dave "now if only MacGuyver could figure out a situation in which this was
USEFUL, and call it marcaroni" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.

"Otto Bahn" > wrote in :

As such, it is an "eco-friendly" mechanism
> for heating certain products. For actual cooking of real
> food, microwaves are fairly useless.
Hot Pockets actually figured out how
> to crisp in a microwave, but I can't afford to eat those
> grease bombs anymore health-wise.

Michael Moore could do an entire movie on this.
Microwaves, eco-friendly ovens, useless for cooking food until
Nestle figures out a way to brown something loosely called "food"
by using metal laminated to a paper substrate using non-biodegradable,
environmentally unfriendly polyester, to make it more palatable
in an eco-friendly oven to satisfy the consumer's need for
convenience.

N-E-S-T-L-E-S
Nestles makes the very best...
Poison

http://www.geocities.com/foodedge/jingles3.html
with a special jingle for Mr. Edwards:

"How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie roll center of a
Tootsie Pop"?

"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote in
:

> In article >,
> Terri > wrote:
>
>> Microwaves, eco-friendly ovens, useless for cooking food
>
> yeah, what the hell good is a screwdriver. I mean, you can't drill
> holes with it.
Your planetary customs are quaint and curious. On Urth we use
a drill for drilling holes.
>
> You people
*My people* were gathering hot rocks to cook escargots with garlic while
yours were still grooming each other's pelts and pointing at the sun.

have no concept of "the right tool for the job".
Hey I'm not the one who hasn't figured out how babies get here!
Just
> because something isn't the right tool for EVERY job doesn't mean it's
> just plain useless overall.

I really don't think someone who never finished reading " What's Happening
To My Body" has any business giving advice on the proper use of tools.
However, in the name of edification you may find this a bit less
intimidating than the above mentioned works:
http://www.villagevoice.com/arts/040...,50176,12.html

"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote in
:

> In article >,
> Terri > wrote:
>
>> > Yeah, you can't brown in it, and you can't cook bread in it,
>> > therefore it's useless for cooking food.
>> Define "food".
>
> Rice.
Okay, that's one item and I concur that rice is food.
Now, tell me:
1. Why would one pay money for an appliance used only for
cooking rice when the top of the range method works just as well, if
not better, and may also be used for the manufacturing of _many_ food
items?

Take all the space you need to convince me why I need a microwave
for cooking rice. What makes it indispensable and not useless in the
kitchen?

Go ahead and sell me a microwave. Take all the space you need.

No cluons were harmed when Terri wrote:
>What makes it indispensable and not useless in the
>kitchen?
>
>Go ahead and sell me a microwave. Take all the space you need.

Oh come on Terri. You're from Louisiana - do the words "road kill" mean
nothing to you, now that you're up in hoity-toity Idaho?


Mark Edwards
--
Proof of Sanity Forged Upon Request

Just for the sheer hell of it, here's a nice rice recipe:

Couple of glugs of good olive pil in the bottom of a heavy pot.
1 small shallot and two cloves garlic, fine dice
1 cup rice
Heat on med-high and stir until shallot is translucent and rice begins
to brown
Add 2 cups water and turn heat to high
Add 1 TBS turmeric
Cover pot and bring to boil; when boiling turn heat to low and set
timer for 15 mins.
Do not remove cover until timer goes off
When timer goes off add 1 cup frozen green peas and a knob of butter
Set timer for 5 more minutes
When time goes off, fluff with fork and serve. Deeelicious alone, or
with shredded roast chicken, fat golden raisins, and toasted slivered
almonds added.

Namaste

Darla
Nova Scotia, Canada
--
"I'm still here, you *******s!"
---Papillon

http://www.yougotta.com/DARLA/
--

On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 07:02:03 -0400, Elmo P. Shagnasty wrote:
>disputed that, at which point you said "define food". I gave you an
>example of food--rice.

I take it we can safely assume your understanding of the word "cook" is
as good as your understanding of the word "define."

¬R http://users.bestweb.net/~notr/cats "Would you like to watch a movie
about George Wendt while eating Chinese food with a cat?" --Andy Simmons

On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 06:59:18 -0400, Elmo P. Shagnasty wrote:

>The right tool for the job.

And you're certainly a tool -- but the right one? Nah.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"Well now you're just getting SILLY." -- Darla

--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

On Sat, 28 Jul 2007 06:59:18 -0400, Elmo P. Shagnasty wrote:

>The right tool for the job.

And you're certainly a tool -- but the right one? Nah.

--
Chris McG.
Harming humanity since 1951.
"Well now you're just getting SILLY." -- Darla

--
Posted via a free Usenet account from http://www.teranews.com

"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote

> > Microwaves, eco-friendly ovens, useless for cooking food
>
> yeah, what the hell good is a screwdriver. I mean, you can't drill
> holes with it.
>
> You people have no concept of "the right tool for the job". Just
> because something isn't the right tool for EVERY job doesn't mean it's
> just plain useless overall.

Am-Zing! You have absolutely no idea what we were
talking about.

--oTTo--

"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote

> > > You people have no concept of "the right tool for the job". Just
> > > because something isn't the right tool for EVERY job doesn't mean it's
> > > just plain useless overall.
> >
> > Am-Zing! You have absolutely no idea what we were
> > talking about.
>
> Amazing! I know exactly the words you wrote. If you ascribe completely
> different meanings to them, that's YOUR problem.

Either you're an idiot, or you could find the place where I called
microwaves just plain useless overall.

--oTTo--

Betting on idot

In article >,
says...
> In article >,
> Terri > wrote:
>
> > Microwaves, eco-friendly ovens, useless for cooking food
>
> yeah, what the hell good is a screwdriver. I mean, you can't drill
> holes with it.

Highly dependent on the material you're trying to drill.