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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

This recent article in the Grauniad reminded me to rant about
microwave ovens these days.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2123217,00.html

But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.


The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
numeric keypad on it, so you could (for example) press 2-3-0-start to
zap something for two and a half minutes. Now you have to press the
minute and ten-second buttons repeatedly. This annoys me. Bring back
the numpad.

Also, why does the stupid thing have to beep EVERY TIME I press a
button? I want it to beep ONCE ONLY --- to get my attention when it's
finished. I can understand that the button feedback is useful for
people with low vision, but it should be an option that I can turn
off.


Oh, and of course, GET OFFA MY LAWN!


--
Leila: "I don't think he knows."
Agent Rogersz: "Increase the voltage."
Leila: "What if he's innocent?"
Agent Rogersz: "No one is innocent. Proceed"
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In article >,
Adam Funk > wrote:

> The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
> numeric keypad on it,


When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar
dishes my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.

> so you could (for example) press 2-3-0-start to
> zap something for two and a half minutes.


And when I was a young adult, the only microwaves had mechanical dial
timers. In the snow!

> Also, why does the stupid thing have to beep EVERY TIME I press a
> button?


So you know when your kid is about to microwave your cell phone.

> Oh, and of course, GET OFFA MY LAWN!


You get offa mine. Come back in twenty years.

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes
It's too confused to make sense, so let's make nonsense.
-- Chris McG.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

Doctroid wrote:

> In article >,
> Adam Funk > wrote:
>
>>The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
>>numeric keypad on it,

>
> When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar
> dishes my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.


When *I* was a kid microwave oven did not exist. I got
my first one when I was in my 30s - I was waiting till the
price was under $200 - up till then they were too expensive
for me. My first oven, which I bought in the early 80's,
and which I had until about 2 years ago, had only a dial.
(Analog microwave. ;-)) The dial went up to 15 minutes.

It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
buy the right one! Sheesh!

Kate

--
Kate Connally
“If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.”
Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back,
Until you bite their heads off.”
What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about?

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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

Kate Connally wrote:

<snip>

> It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
> It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
> number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
> what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
> your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
> buy the right one! Sheesh!


I thought they all had number pads, too. The ones I've looked at do,
except for the budget models which still have dials.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

On Jul 25, 10:34 am, Pennyaline > wrote:
> Kate Connally wrote:
>
> <snip>
>
> > It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
> > It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
> > number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
> > what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
> > your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
> > buy the right one! Sheesh!

>
> I thought they all had number pads, too. The ones I've looked at do,
> except for the budget models which still have dials.


Some of the very inexpensive ones only have a dial.
John Kane, Kingston ON Canada



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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

** Cross posting deleted **

Adam Funk wrote:
> This recent article in the Grauniad reminded me to rant about
> microwave ovens these days.
>
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2123217,00.html
>
> But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
> for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
> rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.
>
>
> The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
> numeric keypad on it, so you could (for example) press 2-3-0-start to
> zap something for two and a half minutes. Now you have to press the
> minute and ten-second buttons repeatedly. This annoys me. Bring back
> the numpad.
>
> Also, why does the stupid thing have to beep EVERY TIME I press a
> button? I want it to beep ONCE ONLY --- to get my attention when it's
> finished. I can understand that the button feedback is useful for
> people with low vision, but it should be an option that I can turn
> off.


I think you need to research microwaves more. My GE Profile
Performance Micro/convection does everything you're
complaining that they don't


--
Steve
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

Steve Calvin wrote:

>
> I think you need to research microwaves more. My GE Profile Performance
> Micro/convection does everything you're complaining that they don't
>
>

The OP appears to be in the UK. I've seen quite a few microwaves in UK
shops, which have the 1 sec, 10 sec, 1 min, 10 min buttons, rather than
a full numeric keypad.
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In article >,
Kate Connally > wrote:
>It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
>It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
>number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
>what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
>your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
>buy the right one! Sheesh!


Microwaves seem to have followed a strange curve.

In 1999, I bought my first one for $80, and it had the buttons,
but they were arranged strangely. Instead of being four rows
of three buttons, it was two rows of five buttons. I think
that's why it was cheaper.

In fact, I think a lot of kitchen appliances are cheap because they
have bad interfaces. I used to have a rickety-cheap toaster oven
that I used all the time, for toast, muffins, frozen tater tots,
and other stuff I didn't want to bother using the big oven for. It
had two knobs: one for the temperature and one for toast darkness,
and a "toast" button. Then my parents bought me a fancy-cheap
toaster oven, with a little convection fan that makes things cook
faster. Neat, but it has three knobs now: mode, timer, and
temperature. If you want to toast, you have to first set the mode
and temperature knobs to their "toast" setting, then move the timer
past the 20-minute mark so it knows to turn the oven on, THEN move
the timer to the desired toast darkness. And it always burns the
toast, always always. So I never use it anymore.

--
Nick Bensema > AIM: NBensema
==== ======= ============== http://www.io.com/~nickb/

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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

S Viemeister wrote:
> Steve Calvin wrote:
>
>>
>> I think you need to research microwaves more. My GE Profile
>> Performance Micro/convection does everything you're complaining that
>> they don't
>>
>>

> The OP appears to be in the UK. I've seen quite a few microwaves in UK
> shops, which have the 1 sec, 10 sec, 1 min, 10 min buttons, rather than
> a full numeric keypad.


ah, I didn't notice the UK origin. I probably wouldn't have
put 2 and 2 together even if I did. I've never been across
the pond

--
Steve
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On Wed, 25 Jul 2007 07:46:07 -0700, John Kane > wrote:
>On Jul 25, 10:34 am, Pennyaline > wrote:
>> I thought they all had number pads, too. The ones I've looked at do,
>> except for the budget models which still have dials.

>
>Some of the very inexpensive ones only have a dial.


And the -really- inexpensive ones have a wind-up key in the back.

Dave "no no, the DOG has ticks!" "then we must FLEE!" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.


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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

On 25 Jul, 10:32, Adam Funk > wrote:

> But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
> for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
> rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.


That doesnt add up to me, nukes are foor cooking as much as reheating.
And rice I wouldn't do in a nuke.

I think the main problem with them is that they are different and most
people dont seem to have figured out how to make good results with
them yet. A strange age of ignorance.

The litle cookbooks that come with them dont seem to really get the
message across. They only explain some things, and dont honestly point
out the plusses and minuses, and hence what dishes are best done in
what machine. They have at least gone part way in this respect, but
show me even one such booklet that shows how to reheat pastry
successfully in a nuke.


> Also, why does the stupid thing have to beep EVERY TIME I press a
> button? I want it to beep ONCE ONLY --- to get my attention when it's
> finished.


The keypad buttons are fairly unreliable, so it needs to let you know
when its registered a keypress. Just a way of hiding a cheapass design
issue.


NT

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"Kate Connally" wrote
> Doctroid wrote:
>> Adam Funk wrote:
>>
>>>The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
>>>numeric keypad on it,

>>
>> When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar dishes
>> my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.

>
> When *I* was a kid microwave oven did not exist. I got
> my first one when I was in my 30s - I was waiting till the
> price was under $200 - up till then they were too expensive
> for me. My first oven, which I bought in the early 80's,
> and which I had until about 2 years ago, had only a dial.
> (Analog microwave. ;-)) The dial went up to 15 minutes.
>
> It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
> It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
> number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
> what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
> your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
> buy the right one! Sheesh!

==
I thought the beeper could be turned off on all of them--as it is on my
very cheap, BOTL Kenmore.


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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In alt.religion.kibology Doctroid > wrote:
> In article >,
> Adam Funk > wrote:


>> The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
>> numeric keypad on it,


> When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar
> dishes my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.


HAH!! When I was a kid, my Dad built this thing:

http://www.raytheon.com/products/pave_paws/

There's one of those monster phased-array radar arrays out on Cape
Cod, and we went on a tour once, and the tour consisted of walking up
and down a lot of staircases and hallways without seeing anything
cool, unlike in 'WarGames'. We were still fascinated, because Dad
told us about how one time some poor ******* who was out on the
window-washing-type scaffolding used to service the little antennae
was out there doing his servicing job, and a pulse went out and cooked
his insides and he died HOURS AND HOURS LATER. All these years later,
I think that story was bullshit. I'd post a Google Maps link, but the
whole place is pixelated out because it's supposed to be a BIG SECRET,
even though you can see it from anywhere on the Cape.

Also, since my Dad was a big Raytheon Guy, we had one of the biggest,
baddest Amana RadarRange Microwave Ovens ever made. Unfortunately, my
folks were completely lost when it came to what to do with a microwave
oven. They would grill up some burgers briefly on the grille, and
then to heat up the insides and melt the cheese, they would stick
these seared burgers in a bun, with cheese and whatnot, and then nuke
it at INFINITY for about 30 seconds or so. The result was that all
the grease waiting to drip out of the burger ended up saturating the
lower part of the bun, which made for a cheeseburger you needed to eat
with a spoon.

Partially as a result of this childhood trauma, I have relegated my
microwave oven to the pile of stuff I probably should sell or just
throw away. Any foodstuffs that have the recommended heating method
of 'microwave' is probably full of fat and sodium. You might as well
just fry up a pound of bacon. In a frying pan, goddammit.

Join me!! Toss your microwave in the trash, and use a toaster oven or
a real toaster or a real oven!! Microwaves are for SUCKERS!!!

--
"Soon, the name of Invader Zim will be synonymous with DOOKIE!!
- Invader Zim
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* Terri wrote, On 25/07/07 09:54 PM:
> Doctroid > wrote in
> :
>
>> In article >,
>> Adam Funk > wrote:
>>
>>> The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
>>> numeric keypad on it,

>> When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar
>> dishes my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.

>
>> And when I was a young adult, the only microwaves had mechanical dial
>> timers. In the snow!

> Damn kids. WE had to harness microwave rays from the SUN!
>


BAH! From your own solar system?!
WE had to borrow a sun to harness microwaves from!

--

anTon O'Masia [ antonomasia <at> gmail <dot> com ]
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Tom Kraemer > wrote:
>I'd post a Google Maps link, but the
>whole place is pixelated out because it's supposed to be a BIG SECRET,
>even though you can see it from anywhere on the Cape.


What happens if you take the Google Street Maps walking tour to a place where
you can see the buildings from, and look in that direction? More pixellation?

Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.


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On 2007-07-25, Nick Bensema wrote:

>>It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
>>number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
>>what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
>>your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
>>buy the right one! Sheesh!


Maybe (as has been suggested) it's a regional thing.


> and a "toast" button. Then my parents bought me a fancy-cheap
> toaster oven, with a little convection fan that makes things cook
> faster. Neat, but it has three knobs now: mode, timer, and
> temperature. If you want to toast, you have to first set the mode
> and temperature knobs to their "toast" setting, then move the timer
> past the 20-minute mark so it knows to turn the oven on, THEN move
> the timer to the desired toast darkness. And it always burns the
> toast, always always. So I never use it anymore.


Toaster ovens have come up a few times recently in ARK. I haven't had
one for a long time and I'm not sure they exist in the UK.

I bought one for $5 at a yard sale ca. 1991, but I always unplugged it
and made sure it had cooled down before leaving my apartment.


--
Nam Sibbyllam quidem Cumis ego ipse oculis meis vidi in ampulla
pendere, et *** illi pueri dicerent: beable beable beable; respondebat
illa: doidy doidy doidy. [plorkwort]
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

On 2007-07-25, Kate Connally wrote:

>> When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar
>> dishes my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.


Madness. Everyone knows radar flows downhill.


> When *I* was a kid microwave oven did not exist. I got
> my first one when I was in my 30s - I was waiting till the
> price was under $200 - up till then they were too expensive
> for me. My first oven, which I bought in the early 80's,
> and which I had until about 2 years ago, had only a dial.
> (Analog microwave. ;-)) The dial went up to 15 minutes.


I'm staying off your lawn; don't worry.


> It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
> It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
> number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
> what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
> your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
> buy the right one! Sheesh!


The rant was a bit delayed (the one that currently annoys me is
probably 10 years old), and I now suspect there are international
variations (perhaps the numpads are more common in the USA).


--
Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp
out of the blue, no explanation.
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On 2007-07-25, S Viemeister wrote:

>> I think you need to research microwaves more. My GE Profile Performance
>> Micro/convection does everything you're complaining that they don't


> The OP appears to be in the UK. I've seen quite a few microwaves in UK
> shops, which have the 1 sec, 10 sec, 1 min, 10 min buttons, rather than
> a full numeric keypad.


I suspect this may be a UK annoyance.


--
Fortran: You shoot yourself in each toe, iteratively, until you run
out of toes, then you read in the next foot and repeat. If you run
out of bullets, you continue anyway because you have no
exception-handling.
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Gini wrote:

> "Kate Connally" wrote
>
>>Doctroid wrote:
>>
>>> Adam Funk wrote:
>>>
>>>
>>>>The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
>>>>numeric keypad on it,
>>>
>>>When *I* was a kid, the only microwave ovens around were the radar dishes
>>>my Dad worked on at GE. Uphill. Both ways.

>>
>>When *I* was a kid microwave oven did not exist. I got
>>my first one when I was in my 30s - I was waiting till the
>>price was under $200 - up till then they were too expensive
>>for me. My first oven, which I bought in the early 80's,
>>and which I had until about 2 years ago, had only a dial.
>>(Analog microwave. ;-)) The dial went up to 15 minutes.
>>
>>It finally died and I got a new one for about $60.
>>It has a keypad and many functions. I thought they all had
>>number keypads these days. I've never seen one that has
>>what the OP describes. So, OP, it looks like you didn't do
>>your homework and just bought the wrong mw oven. Go out and
>>buy the right one! Sheesh!

>
> ==
> I thought the beeper could be turned off on all of them--as it is on my
> very cheap, BOTL Kenmore.


Huh????? Where did that come from? What beeper?

Kate


--
Kate Connally
“If I were as old as I feel, I’d be dead already.”
Goldfish: “The wholesome snack that smiles back,
Until you bite their heads off.”
What if the hokey pokey really *is* what it's all about?



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Tom Kraemer > wrote in
:


>
> Partially as a result of this childhood trauma, I have relegated my
> microwave oven to the pile of stuff I probably should sell or just
> throw away. Any foodstuffs that have the recommended heating method
> of 'microwave' is probably full of fat and sodium. You might as well
> just fry up a pound of bacon. In a frying pan, goddammit.
>
> Join me!! Toss your microwave in the trash, and use a toaster oven or
> a real toaster or a real oven!!


I had a toaster oven that I loved but it died. I got a cheap toaster
to take it's place that burns the living crap out of everything I
put in it. So now I just put rocks in the hot sun and wait for them to
heat up before toasting my bread on the rocks.


Microwaves are for SUCKERS!!!
>

I like your revolution and would like to join but mine microwave is
installed into the framework of the upper cabinets above the oven
and trashing it would result in a gaping hole. Have no fear though,
I only use it for heating & thawing items as actual cooking in it makes
the food taste like shit.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

"Tom Kraemer" > wrote

> Partially as a result of this childhood trauma, I have relegated my
> microwave oven to the pile of stuff I probably should sell or just
> throw away. Any foodstuffs that have the recommended heating method
> of 'microwave' is probably full of fat and sodium. You might as well
> just fry up a pound of bacon. In a frying pan, goddammit.
>
> Join me!! Toss your microwave in the trash, and use a toaster oven or
> a real toaster or a real oven!! Microwaves are for SUCKERS!!!


Once, while drunk, I tried to poach an egg in a microwave.
It exploded. I now know how to coat a microwave's insides
with egg matter. McGiver ain't got nothin' on me. I did
eventually figure out how to poach an egg in a microwave,
but it's far simpler to boil water on a stove.

I use it for heating water to make instant coffee, and for
cooking Healthy Choice frozen dinners. And the occaisonal
Hormel Chili. As such, it is an "eco-friendly" mechanism
for heating certain products. For actual cooking of real
food, microwaves are fairly useless. Nuking pastry type
stuff for 10-20 seconds to reheat it is useful, but it is
real easy to nuke it too long making it SOGGY.

Rubbery and soggy are microwave trademarks. Bread abhores
a microwave, but not cooked pasta, which is soggy pretty
much by definition. Hot Pockets actually figured out how
to crisp in a microwave, but I can't afford to eat those
grease bombs anymore health-wise.

Good toaster ovens rock, but for toast I use a toaster.
Right tool for the job and all that.

--oTTo--
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In article >,
Terri > wrote:

> I like your revolution and would like to join but mine microwave is
> installed into the framework of the upper cabinets above the oven
> and trashing it would result in a gaping hole. Have no fear though,
> I only use it for heating & thawing items as actual cooking in it makes
> the food taste like shit.


Then you are using it properly and it is providing useful service.

Unlike TomK who still doesn't geddit. I mean he is not using a
microwave properly, or in fact at all; not that he is not providing
useful service. Which he isn't, but that's not the point.

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes
It's too confused to make sense, so let's make nonsense.
-- Chris McG.
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In article >,
"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote:

> I suppose you'd think crescent wrenches are stupid, because you tried to
> lay a roof with one and it didn't work out so well.


And I suppose you're delusional.

Unlike your suppositions, mine are based on evidence.

> You're a ****ing idiot. I hope you're ***, so you don't reproduce.


Got a little problem coming to grips with basic facts of biology, Elmo?
Or is there really some OTHER reason you hope TomK is ***?

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes
It's too confused to make sense, so let's make nonsense.
-- Chris McG.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In alt.religion.kibology Elmo P. Shagnasty > wrote:

> You're a ****ing idiot.


I know you are, but what am I?

> You misuse a tool, and conclude that the tool is the cause of the
> problem and therefore lack of tool equals lack of problem.


No, dummy, I don't blame the microwave. I blame my parents. Did you
even read the post you responded to?

> I suppose you'd think crescent wrenches are stupid, because you tried to
> lay a roof with one and it didn't work out so well.


Crescent is a brand name, you pinhead, not a type of wrench. You need
to check your facts before posting nonsense to usenet.

> You're a ****ing idiot.


I know you are, but what am I?

> I hope you're ***, so you don't reproduce.


Right, like that ever stopped anybody.

Also, going around hoping complete strangers are *** sounds pretty ***.

--
I excel in the delivery of POISON!! - Topato, www.wigu.com


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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In article >,
"Elmo P. Shagnasty" > wrote:

> In article >,
> Doctroid > wrote:
>
> > > I suppose you'd think crescent wrenches are stupid, because you tried to
> > > lay a roof with one and it didn't work out so well.

> >
> > And I suppose you're delusional.
> >
> > Unlike your suppositions, mine are based on evidence.

>
> Mine are based 100% on evidence. When people give blatant evidence of
> their blatant stupidity, like Tom did, they should expect to be called
> on it. He misused a microwave oven, and declared microwave ovens stupid.
>
> Jesus.


Let's see, that makes at least two assumptions you've pulled out of your
ass with nothing to back them up.

> > > You're a ****ing idiot. I hope you're ***, so you don't reproduce.

> >
> > Got a little problem coming to grips with basic facts of biology, Elmo?
> > Or is there really some OTHER reason you hope TomK is ***?

>
> If he's ***, he won't reproduce.


Got a little problem coming to grips with basic facts of biology, Elmo?
Or is there really some OTHER reason you hope TomK is ***?

--
- Doctroid Doctroid Holmes
It's too confused to make sense, so let's make nonsense.
-- Chris McG.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

"Tom Kraemer" > wrote

> > I suppose you'd think crescent wrenches are stupid, because you tried to
> > lay a roof with one and it didn't work out so well.

>
> Crescent is a brand name, you pinhead, not a type of wrench. You need
> to check your facts before posting nonsense to usenet.


He probably thinks the usenet is just another message board.

--oTTo--
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

Kinda nice for all the imbeciles to show up in one thread -- its certainly makes
updating the kill file easier:

{plonk}{plonk}{plonk}{plonk}

Even faster than a microwave!

-- Larry
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

pltrgyst wrote:
> Kinda nice for all the imbeciles to show up in one thread -- its certainly makes
> updating the kill file easier:
>
> {plonk}{plonk}{plonk}{plonk}
>
> Even faster than a microwave!
>
> -- Larry

WTF is that all about?

--
Steve
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

"Adam Funk" > wrote

> >> But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
> >> for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
> >> rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.

> >
> > That doesnt add up to me, nukes are foor cooking as much as reheating.
> > And rice I wouldn't do in a nuke.

>
> I recommend trying it: one volume of rice and two volumes of water
> (that varies a little with different brands and types of rice;
> sometimes you need to add a little more). Zap until done, stirring
> occasionally. If you make about the same amount of rice each time,
> you learn how long to time it.
>
> Much easier than stirring constantly to keep rice from sticking to a
> saucepan.


I don't need pans, water or microwaves. Rice is one of those
ingredients in meals prepared by someone other than me. Not
that I even like to cook in general, but rice and beans were
one of my staples during my poor starving idio^H^H^H^Hartist
days.

As a friend once remarked, "If I'm going to spend 45 minutes
making dinner, it isn't going to be ****ing beets." Okay, so
he was talking about beets, not rice, and if you don't get the
intonation right, "****ing" might sound like a verb instead of
an adjective, but you get the drift.

For some reason rice was a grain that was hard to find in its
non-raped form, though I suspect it might be easier to find now.
Even in nice restaurants brown or wild rice is usually only part
brown or wild. White rice is like soft styrofoam that is only
good if the sauce is good.

The kid who fell from the tree sounded exactly like a sack of
rice. That has nothing to do with not cooking it, it just haunts
me still.

--oTTo--
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Otto Bahn > wrote:
>Once, while drunk, I tried to poach an egg in a microwave.
>It exploded. I now know how to coat a microwave's insides
>with egg matter. McGiver ain't got nothin' on me. I did
>eventually figure out how to poach an egg in a microwave,
>but it's far simpler to boil water on a stove.


There is youtube video out there of how to generate a glowing plasma using
onlty a microwave, a lit match, and an inverted shot glass. (It will end up
fracturing, then exploding, the shot glass.)

Dave "now if only MacGuyver could figure out a situation in which this was
USEFUL, and call it marcaroni" DeLaney
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
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Tom Kraemer > wrote:
>Elmo P. Shagnasty > wrote:


[nothing sensible]

>Right, like that ever stopped anybody.
>
>Also, going around hoping complete strangers are *** sounds pretty ***.


Well, I don't do it _all_ the time, so it can't be _completely_ ***.

And what about posting to "rec.food._equipment_", hm?

Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting from "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://www.vic.com/~dbd/ - net.legends FAQ & Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.
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Elmo P. Shagnasty > wrote:

> In article >,
> Tom Kraemer > wrote:
>
> > No, dummy, I don't blame the microwave. I blame my parents. Did you
> > even read the post you responded to?

>
> The one where you said microwaves aren't for cooking, and that you
> wouldn't use one under any circumstances?


No, I think he's referring to the one he actually posted, not the
imaginary one you appear to have somehow read that appears to have
contained so much innuendo it made you explodiate into a cloud of
homophobic stupidity.

-jwgh

--
"'God damn, this banjo will make a club!'"
-- John Brunner, _No Other Gods But Me_ (1966)


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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In alt.religion.kibology Elmo P. Shagnasty > wrote:
> In article >,
> Tom Kraemer > wrote:


>> No, dummy, I don't blame the microwave. I blame my parents. Did you
>> even read the post you responded to?


> The one where you said microwaves aren't for cooking, and that you
> wouldn't use one under any circumstances?


Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Now you're just making stuff up, or, as
Doctroid has pointed out, pulling stuff out of your ass. I never
criticized microwave ovens, I criticized my parents' use of one, and I
also criticized foodstuffs that recommended microwaving as the
preferred 'cooking' method. Do please go back and read the post,
dumbass.

> Yeah.


Nice comeback. That took you hours to think of, did it? Couldn't
think of a 'I hope he's ***' variant?

> You're a ****ing idiot.


I know you are, but what am I?

--
"Taste the zestful bubbling foam of my vengeance!"

- Mr. Sparkle
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In article >,
says...
> This recent article in the Grauniad reminded me to rant about
> microwave ovens these days.
>
>
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2123217,00.html
>
> But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
> for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
> rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.
>
>

I find that for certain things the microwave is just fine for cooking.
For corn, artichokes and asparagus it sure beats boiling. I suggest you
look at Barbara Kafka's Microwave Gourmet to see the things it does well.

--
Jerry Bank
Trenton, New Jersey
Music is the language of the gods.
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Default Microwave oven rant. Rice.

In alt.religion.kibology Elmo P. Shagnasty > wrote:
> In article >,
> Tom Kraemer > wrote:


>> Oh dear oh dear oh dear. Now you're just making stuff up, or, as
>> Doctroid has pointed out, pulling stuff out of your ass. I never
>> criticized microwave ovens, I criticized my parents' use of one, and I
>> also criticized foodstuffs that recommended microwaving as the
>> preferred 'cooking' method. Do please go back and read the post,
>> dumbass.


> I did.


HAW HAW. The trick is to COMPREHEND what you READ, even if you have
to read it out loud, or ask for help from a grown-up.

> You were plain in your words.


I certainly was, but you still want to just make stuff up. A healthy
imagination can be a good thing, but it can be taken too far.

> If you used the wrong words, that's your problem.


If you have some sort of dyslexic-type disorder that allows you to
read things that aren't written, that's your problem. Maybe there's a
support group for that, but I think the last place you would find it
is on the usenet.

--
"Oh Crap! It's a miracle!" - Bender, _Futurama_
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Adam Funk wrote:
>
> This recent article in the Grauniad reminded me to rant about
> microwave ovens these days.
>
> http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,2123217,00.html
>
> But first, I agree with the point that microwave ovens are generally
> for reheating rather than cooking as such --- with the exception of
> rice, for which the microwave is a legitimately easy cooking method.
>
> The microwave my parents had when I was a kid had something like a
> numeric keypad on it, so you could (for example) press 2-3-0-start to
> zap something for two and a half minutes. Now you have to press the
> minute and ten-second buttons repeatedly. This annoys me. Bring back
> the numpad.


Numpad!?

Hah!!!

My Emerson AR661 microwave just has a timer dial,
and a switch to select "defrost" or "cook"

--
pete
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