"It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong,
something the best people have always done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe

It's a matter of who's the superior species. I have the guns, the knives
and the thumbs. Animals are food and they have the right to be eaten.

TFM®

"The Fat Man®" > wrote:
> []Animals are food and they have the right to be eaten.
>
Thereby being reincarnated into a higher life form . . . me (or you)!

--
Nick, Retired in the San Fernando Valley www.boonchoo.com
"Giving violent criminals a government guarantee that their intended
victims are defenseless is bad public policy."
- John Ross, "Unintended Consequences"

"Tofu Guy" > wrote in message
m...
> "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong,
> something the best people have always done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe

Fat Man's Prayer

----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----

Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curls be sated,
that my soul may be polyunsaturated
And show me the light, that I may bear witness
to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
and Satan is hiding in every waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
and Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice
but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
I beg upon my dimpled knees,
deliver me from jujubees.

And when my days of trial are done,
and my war with malted milk is won,
Let me stand with the Saints in Heaven
In a shining robe--size 37.

I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
the virtues of lettuce and celery.
If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
of pasta a la Milannaise
potatoes a la Lyonnaise
and crisp-fried chicken from the South.

Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.

~ By Victor Buono ~

"Tofu Guy" > wrote in message
m...
> "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong,
> something the best people have always done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe

I'll never forget killing my first Hog. It was a gorgeous fall day.
One of those days where the blue sky seems to go on forever
and the brilliant sunshine is the perfect opposite of the chilly wind.
I decided to use my Dads old Tree Stand for a blind and took
up my post with expectations of getting a nice Buck.

Midway through the morning, a Feral Hog came sniffing at the
apples and corn I had scattered in the clearing.
It was a BIG Hog too. It weighed nearly 220 pounds and
dressed out to over 175 pounds.
It walked directly under my hiding spot intent on an apple lying there.
That tough old ******* thought he was going to eat. HA!
I put an Arrow right between his shoulders. It had a new 185 Grain
Broadhead on the business end I had proudly made myself.
The arrow didn't kill him though, it went though and was sticking
out of his chest a good ten or twelve inches.
Squealing, he went running off through the brambles tripping on the shaft
sticking out of him, the tip of the arrow dragging the ground and catching
on brambles and twisting in him as he tried to flee.

Well part of Bow Hunting is chasing the wounded beast so I
climbed down and began to track the blood trail. You can't use a gun
during Bow Season so my armaments consisted of my Bow and Arrows,
a Machete' and a big fixed blade knife.

I caught up with the Hog after tracking him for about a half mile.
He was laying on his side, hung up in some grapevine with blood
blowing out of his mouth and nose. He seemed very weak.
The spot was too brushy for me to draw my Bow for a head shot
or get a good swing at the back of his neck,
so I began to hack at the grapevine and brambles with my Machete'.

Suddenly, he bolted to his feet and charged.
All I could do was spear at him with my Machete' and until I backed
into a spot where I had room to take a good swing.
The first swing was a good one. The end of the blade caught him
between the eyes and sank in deeply. He stopped in his tracks
and dropped to the ground. I tried to pull the blade free but the
Machete' was stuck in his forehead!

To my astonishment the blow failed to dispatch him. He rose to his
feet again and after backing off a few steps, he charged.

What a sight this was. A hog that weighed over two hundred pounds
with a machete sticking out of his forehead, an arrow sticking out of his
chest,
charging and blowing blood from his mouth and nose as he came.
It was Hell and the Devil himself!
I scrambled backwards and was now down defending myself with my knife.
I had it pulled but I tripped and lost it as I fell . Now I'm on my ass,
trying to get back up and the Hog seems to tower over me.
Only a few feet away now, at a full head of steam.
Now I know what terror is.

I thought he had me, but the arrow caught on a root as he
charged and he fell on his side, legs pumping to get upright again.
As he tried to right himself, I grabbed up a large chunk of flint lying
near me with both hands and, with a move I will probably never
be able to make again without the adrenalin, struck him in the neck
with all my might. His blood spewed in crimson arcs for a dozen feet
in all directions as he thrashed.
His blood covered me and the surrounding brush.
He succumbed rapidly to the blood loss and his struggling lessened.
I succumbed to my exhaustion and fell to my knees.
Then there we were, only a couple of feet separating us,
looking into each others eyes. There was a communication that is
difficult to describe, an understanding of the struggle and its
implications.
He let go and I held on.
His life for the proliferation of mine.
He was the one more experienced with this. He was the one that had
bitten the life out of other living beings, filled his mouth with their
still beating hearts and had tasted their warm blood as it still held life.
He lived for the thrill of it.
Now I do.





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Dimitri wrote:
> "Tofu Guy" > wrote in message
> m...
>> "It's a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong,
>> something the best people have always done." -- Harriet Beecher Stowe
>
> Fat Man's Prayer
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
--
> ----
>
> Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
> incited by my wicked diet.
> "We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
> and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
> I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
> But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.



You ****ing idiot, I weigh 185 and I'm 6 feet tall.

I'm in fantastic shape because I eat meat and *work* for a living.

TFM®

"The Fat Man®" > wrote in message m>...
> It's a matter of who's the superior species. I have the guns, the knives
> and the thumbs. Animals are food and they have the right to be eaten.
>
> TFM®

Right on!!! It's just what I told my Daughter's boyfriend when she
introduced me to him...I have a shotgun, a shovel and 5-acres out
back. You harm my Daughter in any way whatsoever, they'll never find
the body! Nuff said.

Cheers
Stan

"The Fat Man®" > wrote in message
...
> Dimitri wrote:


> You ****ing idiot, I weigh 185 and I'm 6 feet tall.
>
> I'm in fantastic shape because I eat meat and *work* for a living.
>
> TFM®

Look up the man who wrote this.

His name is Victor Buono - Actor.

Dimitri

In article <rlWrb.22922$JR7.9257
@newssvr32.news.prodigy.com>, says...


<snip>

> Fat Man's Prayer
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ----
>
> Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
> incited by my wicked diet.
> "We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man!
> and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.
> I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
> But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
> So grant me strength, that I may not fall
> into the clutches of cholesterol.
>
> May my flesh with carrot-curls be sated,
> that my soul may be polyunsaturated
> And show me the light, that I may bear witness
> to the President's Council on Physical Fitness.
>
> And at oleomargarine I'll never mutter,
> for the road to Hell is spread with butter.
> And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;
> and Satan is hiding in every waffle.
>
> Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;
> the Devil is in each slice of baloney,
> Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,
> and Lucifer is a lollipop.
>
> Give me this day my daily slice
> but, cut it thin and toast it twice.
> I beg upon my dimpled knees,
> deliver me from jujubees.
>
> And when my days of trial are done,
> and my war with malted milk is won,
> Let me stand with the Saints in Heaven
> In a shining robe--size 37.
>
> I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,
> the virtues of lettuce and celery.
> If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,
> of pasta a la Milannaise
> potatoes a la Lyonnaise
> and crisp-fried chicken from the South.
>
> Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth.
>
> ~ By Victor Buono ~
>

I hope you had the pleasure of seeing the late Mr. Buono
recite that poem. It still cracks me up to think about it.

Bill

"The Fat Man®" > wrote in message
...
> It's a matter of who's the superior species. I have the guns, the knives
> and the thumbs. Animals are food and they have the right to be eaten.
>
> TFM®
>

I have no truck with "tofu guy," but if you want to support him there is no
better way than such an ignorant and stupid post.


--
Peter Aitken

Remove the crap from my email address before using.

Peter Aitken wrote:
> "The Fat Man®" > wrote in message
> ...
>> It's a matter of who's the superior species. I have the guns, the
>> knives and the thumbs. Animals are food and they have the right to
>> be eaten.
>>
>> TFM®
>>
>
> I have no truck with "tofu guy," but if you want to support him there
> is no better way than such an ignorant and stupid post.



Whatcher beef with me? I've been called stupid & ignorant by better folks
than you.

Remember boy, I'm a redneck. Such taunts will only launch me into a frenzy.

TFM®

"The Fat Man®" > wrote:
> [ bam ]
>
> Remember boy, I'm a redneck. Such taunts will only launch me into a
> frenzy.
>
Oh, shit! TxFM® in a frenzy. A sight to behold. Fosco, getcher camra. The
rest of ya, hide yer chirrun!

--
Nick, Retired in the San Fernando Valley www.boonchoo.com
"Giving violent criminals a government guarantee that their intended
victims are defenseless is bad public policy."
- John Ross, "Unintended Consequences"