Baking (rec.food.baking) For bakers, would-be bakers, and fans and consumers of breads, pastries, cakes, pies, cookies, crackers, bagels, and other items commonly found in a bakery. Includes all methods of preparation, both conventional and not.

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Old 21-10-2007, 08:55 PM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Default Lemon Tarts

Lemon Tarts
A few years ago I went to a Jehovah Witness funeral in Prince
Albert Saskatchewan, it was the funeral of a Jehovah Witness who shot
himself. The food was really good except for the lemon tarts. There
were several types of pies, lots and lots of cheese (and different
types of cheeses), there were beverages of assorted types, and there
was even fruit. I was overjoyed to find lemon tarts but my joy quickly
turned to sadness as these lemon tarts were the worst lemon tarts that
I ever tasted, they were not only bitter and sour, but they were
rubbery as well. But I did not let the lemon tarts spoil the funeral,
this JW funeral was one of the best funerals I ever attended as there
was a huge amount of food, and except for the lemon tarts, the food
was really good. And there were nubile sweeties at the funeral.
Generally you will find nubile sweeties in the greatest abundance when
the funeral is for a high school student. It doesn't matter if the
student was male or female, the nubile sweeties come out to the
funeral regardless of the sex of the deceased. That's the best kind of
funeral, A) when there is lots of food, B) when there are nubile
sweeties present in great abundance, and C) when the priest or pastor
says hilarious things that make you laugh, such as "Only God knows why
little Johnny died." But I know why little Johnny died, it's in the
Bible in Exodus 20:5 (the parents value traditions in place of God and
His Commandments, and God rewards their apostasy by the removal of
their children). And so, since nubile sweeties are found in greatest
abundance at the funerals of high school students, then it is the
funerals of high school students that make the very very best
funerals, especially if there is food. I just wish there was more and
better lemon tarts. And I've never found pumpkin pie at a funeral but
I would very much like to eat pumpkin pie at some poor slob's funeral.
I stuff my face (and my pockets) with all the good food and look at
all the pretty nubile sweeties and have the time of my life, but I
have to scratch my head and wonder why the fellow would shoot himself,
he's missing out on all the good food. There are interstink people to
talk to, there are pretty nubile sweeties to look at, there is good
food to eat, there are humorous preachers to listen to... but the
fellow isn't alive to partake in the festivities, he's missing out on
life!!! Maybe the Jehovah Witness was some kind of JW prophet, he knew
that the lemon tarts were to be no damn good, and so he shot himself.
That's what I think about JW's and anybody else who shoot themselves,
they are simply missing out on life. Perhaps if the JW women would
make better lemon tarts then the JW men would be less apt to shoot
themselves, I predict. The JW women are spending too much time on
street corners trying to flog their crappy magazines when they should
be at home learning how to make proper lemon tarts. In all fairness I
guess most people would shoot themselves if they knew ahead of time
that the lemon tarts at their funerals were to be bitter and rubbery,
it is not a problem that just plagues the Jehovah Witness community.
Anyway, I like pumpkin pie and I wish you people would inform me ahead
of time if there is goink to be pumpkin pie at your funerals. For
example, you can send me a letter saying that you intend to shoot
yourself because you are some sort of prophet who knows in advance
that the lemon tarts at your funeral are to be no damn good, but that
I should come anyway because there will be pumpkin pie, or some damn
thing
like that. -Daryl S. Kabatoff


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Old 22-10-2007, 12:16 AM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2
Default Lemon Tarts

wrote:
Lemon Tarts
A few years ago I went to a Jehovah Witness funeral in Prince
Albert Saskatchewan, it was the funeral of a Jehovah Witness who shot
himself. The food was really good except for the lemon tarts. There
were several types of pies, lots and lots of cheese (and different
types of cheeses), there were beverages of assorted types, and there
was even fruit. I was overjoyed to find lemon tarts but my joy quickly
turned to sadness as these lemon tarts were the worst lemon tarts that
I ever tasted, they were not only bitter and sour, but they were
rubbery as well. But I did not let the lemon tarts spoil the funeral,
this JW funeral was one of the best funerals I ever attended as there
was a huge amount of food, and except for the lemon tarts, the food
was really good. And there were nubile sweeties at the funeral.
Generally you will find nubile sweeties in the greatest abundance when
the funeral is for a high school student. It doesn't matter if the
student was male or female, the nubile sweeties come out to the
funeral regardless of the sex of the deceased. That's the best kind of
funeral, A) when there is lots of food, B) when there are nubile
sweeties present in great abundance, and C) when the priest or pastor
says hilarious things that make you laugh, such as "Only God knows why
little Johnny died." But I know why little Johnny died, it's in the
Bible in Exodus 20:5 (the parents value traditions in place of God and
His Commandments, and God rewards their apostasy by the removal of
their children). And so, since nubile sweeties are found in greatest
abundance at the funerals of high school students, then it is the
funerals of high school students that make the very very best
funerals, especially if there is food. I just wish there was more and
better lemon tarts. And I've never found pumpkin pie at a funeral but
I would very much like to eat pumpkin pie at some poor slob's funeral.
I stuff my face (and my pockets) with all the good food and look at
all the pretty nubile sweeties and have the time of my life, but I
have to scratch my head and wonder why the fellow would shoot himself,
he's missing out on all the good food. There are interstink people to
talk to, there are pretty nubile sweeties to look at, there is good
food to eat, there are humorous preachers to listen to... but the
fellow isn't alive to partake in the festivities, he's missing out on
life!!! Maybe the Jehovah Witness was some kind of JW prophet, he knew
that the lemon tarts were to be no damn good, and so he shot himself.
That's what I think about JW's and anybody else who shoot themselves,
they are simply missing out on life. Perhaps if the JW women would
make better lemon tarts then the JW men would be less apt to shoot
themselves, I predict. The JW women are spending too much time on
street corners trying to flog their crappy magazines when they should
be at home learning how to make proper lemon tarts. In all fairness I
guess most people would shoot themselves if they knew ahead of time
that the lemon tarts at their funerals were to be bitter and rubbery,
it is not a problem that just plagues the Jehovah Witness community.
Anyway, I like pumpkin pie and I wish you people would inform me ahead
of time if there is goink to be pumpkin pie at your funerals. For
example, you can send me a letter saying that you intend to shoot
yourself because you are some sort of prophet who knows in advance
that the lemon tarts at your funeral are to be no damn good, but that
I should come anyway because there will be pumpkin pie, or some damn
thing
like that. -Daryl S. Kabatoff

sicko.....
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Old 22-10-2007, 05:00 AM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Posts: 540
Default Lemon Tarts

D A I S Y wrote:

sicko.....


What, you don't like pumpkin pie?
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Old 22-10-2007, 10:59 AM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Posts: 2
Default Lemon Tarts

Dave Bell wrote:
D A I S Y wrote:

sicko.....



What, you don't like pumpkin pie?

Not when they're served to grieving people no.

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Old 22-10-2007, 08:54 PM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Default Lemon Tarts

On Oct 22, 3:59 am, D A I S Y wrote:
Dave Bell wrote:
D A I S Y wrote:


sicko.....


What, you don't like pumpkin pie?


Not when they're served to grieving people no.


It grieves God when you people hire Hindu or other psychiatrists to
torture people who speak out against your traditions. I lost years to
psychiatric torture, and when the arrests and torture ceased, I
continued to loose years due to apprehension that I would arrested and
tortured again. Still today, I can be arrested and tortured in
psychiatric facilities for daring to defend myself against brutality
on the streets, or for no reason other than people complaining to
authorities that my words hurt their ears. You people might try to
remember that the Bible repeatedly condemns turning trees into
decorated idols, and saying such was repeatly used as evidence to keep
me locked up and tortured with psychiatric drugs. All I can do is make
prayer requests for God to destoy your evergreen tree forests and
honor Exodus 20:5... to remove your apostate children. Shove your God-
damned decorated trees up your decorated assholes. -Daryl S. Kabatoff



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Old 22-10-2007, 11:57 PM posted to alt.dear.whitehouse,alt.religion.christian.adventist,rec.food.baking,can.general,alt.support.grief
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Posts: 1
Default Lemon Tarts

D A I S Y wrote:
wrote:
Lemon Tarts
A few years ago I went to a Jehovah Witness funeral in Prince
Albert Saskatchewan, it was the funeral of a Jehovah Witness who shot
himself. The food was really good except for the lemon tarts. There
were several types of pies, lots and lots of cheese (and different
types of cheeses), there were beverages of assorted types, and there
was even fruit. I was overjoyed to find lemon tarts but my joy quickly
turned to sadness as these lemon tarts were the worst lemon tarts that
I ever tasted, they were not only bitter and sour, but they were
rubbery as well. But I did not let the lemon tarts spoil the funeral,
this JW funeral was one of the best funerals I ever attended as there
was a huge amount of food, and except for the lemon tarts, the food
was really good. And there were nubile sweeties at the funeral.
Generally you will find nubile sweeties in the greatest abundance when
the funeral is for a high school student. It doesn't matter if the
student was male or female, the nubile sweeties come out to the
funeral regardless of the sex of the deceased. That's the best kind of
funeral, A) when there is lots of food, B) when there are nubile
sweeties present in great abundance, and C) when the priest or pastor
says hilarious things that make you laugh, such as "Only God knows why
little Johnny died." But I know why little Johnny died, it's in the
Bible in Exodus 20:5 (the parents value traditions in place of God and
His Commandments, and God rewards their apostasy by the removal of
their children). And so, since nubile sweeties are found in greatest
abundance at the funerals of high school students, then it is the
funerals of high school students that make the very very best
funerals, especially if there is food. I just wish there was more and
better lemon tarts. And I've never found pumpkin pie at a funeral but
I would very much like to eat pumpkin pie at some poor slob's funeral.
I stuff my face (and my pockets) with all the good food and look at
all the pretty nubile sweeties and have the time of my life, but I
have to scratch my head and wonder why the fellow would shoot himself,
he's missing out on all the good food. There are interstink people to
talk to, there are pretty nubile sweeties to look at, there is good
food to eat, there are humorous preachers to listen to... but the
fellow isn't alive to partake in the festivities, he's missing out on
life!!! Maybe the Jehovah Witness was some kind of JW prophet, he knew
that the lemon tarts were to be no damn good, and so he shot himself.
That's what I think about JW's and anybody else who shoot themselves,
they are simply missing out on life. Perhaps if the JW women would
make better lemon tarts then the JW men would be less apt to shoot
themselves, I predict. The JW women are spending too much time on
street corners trying to flog their crappy magazines when they should
be at home learning how to make proper lemon tarts. In all fairness I
guess most people would shoot themselves if they knew ahead of time
that the lemon tarts at their funerals were to be bitter and rubbery,
it is not a problem that just plagues the Jehovah Witness community.
Anyway, I like pumpkin pie and I wish you people would inform me ahead
of time if there is goink to be pumpkin pie at your funerals. For
example, you can send me a letter saying that you intend to shoot
yourself because you are some sort of prophet who knows in advance
that the lemon tarts at your funeral are to be no damn good, but that
I should come anyway because there will be pumpkin pie, or some damn
thing
like that. -Daryl S. Kabatoff

sicko.....


He is off the net for life.. Merely abuse notice his ISP and the local
Canadian Police will incarcerate him back in the mental institute.
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