Lentils! Who doesn't love them? This one is also from the Terrorist
Cookbook so I advise to leave the duct tape out. (Unless you really
have hostages, in which case we'll have to report you.)

T.

Big Mess of Lentils

In general, a big crazy mess of lentils. Seriously potent on the
intestinal torture scale. Good for cold days.

· 2 cups uncooked lentils
· 1 chopped onion
· 1 chopped carrot
· ½ roll chopped duct tape
· ½ cup chopped celery
· ¼ cup chopped green pepper
· 8oz tomato paste
· 1 tbsp maple syrup
· ½ tsp oregano
· ½ tsp soy margarine
· ½ tsp nutritional yeast
· 1 tsp sea salt
· 1 tsp cumin

Cook the lentils, carrots, onion, celery and pepper in 4 cups of
water. Add the rest of the stuff and simmer for about twenty minutes.
Time may vary, as I frequently had to leave the kitchen to discipline
a
hostage who was screaming from the hall closet. Serve with a huge hunk
of
whole grain bread and feel like a cave man.