I can not STAND this woman.

Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
her in the face, real real hard.

--
Rick

Rick wrote:

> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.


Thank you for reminding me why I have not even bothered to glance at the
Food TV Network for at least seven months now ;-)

--
Best
Greg

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.
>
> --
> Rick

Yep, crappy show IMO. My remote is my best friend.

Jacknavox

I don't like this show at all, just the intorduction music alone makes me
gag.
"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.
>
> --
> Rick

Dog3 wrote:

> I seldom watch the show any longer. I got disgusted with it quickly. She
> always has a 'friend' or 'friends' helping her out with party. Seems the
> friends do most of the work and she marinates the meat. One of the most
> irritating things is; Her kitchen is *never* messy. Ever.
>
> Michael <- makes huge messes in the kitchen

She's okay with me, except for one thing ... WHAT is she laughing at?
Cracks herself up, I made sandwiches! hilarity ensues. What's so
funny?

Lots of shows they could get rid of before hers, in my opinion.
Like ... the current Top 5 crappola marathon they have going on.

nancy

"Rick" wrote:
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.

I swear that I have never met "Rick" in my life and am not affiliated with
him in any way at all except for my well newsgroup-publicized dislike of the
monumental fake Ina Garten.

It's good to know that the slings and arrows I've suffered for my assessment
of her abilities were not borne in vain. Thank you.

<"Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey... ... ... ">

In article >, Pennyaline
> wrote:

> "Rick" wrote:
> > I can not STAND this woman.
> >
> > Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> > her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> > her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> > so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> > her in the face, real real hard.
>
> I swear that I have never met "Rick" in my life and am not affiliated with
> him in any way at all except for my well newsgroup-publicized dislike of the
> monumental fake Ina Garten.
>
> It's good to know that the slings and arrows I've suffered for my assessment
> of her abilities were not borne in vain. Thank you.
>
> <"Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey, Geoffrey... ... ... ">

It's the TROOTH!! We've never met or spoken or passed each other in the
hallway even, and yet now we are BEST BUDDIES!! Hatred can do that for
you!

--
Rick

Rick > wrote:
> I can not STAND this woman.

> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.

To each his own. The Barefoot Contessa is one of my favorite
offerings on the Food Network. I also enjoy the theme music
on that show a lot.

"Pennyaline" > wrote in
:

>> I can not STAND this woman.
>

I have no great love of the woman, but her recipes are nice.

I wouldn't have cared much for Van Goh either, nutzoid that he was. But I
do like his art.

--
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food
and water.
--------
FIELDS, W. C.

Not one of my favorites either. Not a good TV image. In addition to that
hebephrenic grin and the swallowing of most of her words, it is that
constant shaking of her unnetted hair over the food that she is preparing
that makes he happy I do not have to eat any of it. My impression is that
it all exists for the cocktails. In a recent ad the camera pans past all
of the other chefs busily cooking but when it comes to her she is downing
a cocktail. And, from the looks of her, not her first.
Now in all fairness to those we love to hate, they were trained as chefs
and not as performers. However, it would seem to me if you chose that
route, you would also take some acting lessons.

In article >, Arch >
wrote:

> hebephrenic

adj : suffering from a form of schizophrenia characterized by foolish
mannerisms and senseless laughter...
WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University

So true.

--
Rick

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.

I like the show, but not enough to record it or to arrange my schedule so I
can see it. I think the food is generally sound and uncomplicated --
falling to the class of comfort food with a little flair. In some ways Ina
reminds me of Martha Stewart. She has what I would call an east coast
attitude. You can read it as reserved but confident or you can read it as
snobbish. I think she would be an interesting person to have a cocktail
with and I wouldn't mind being invited to a party at her home.

You might be surprised at how many people would benefit from Cooking 101.
Kids are growing up in homes with parents who have multiple jobs and in
single parent households. Kids don't take things like Home Economics in
school like they did 50 years ago. If you look at what people have packed
into their carts at the supermarket you will see that for many, cooking
means opening boxes, cans, and jars and heating prepared foods. Many people
eat several meals each week at places like McDonalds and KFC. Salads come
from bags. Mashed potatoes come from a box. I'm sure that a good many
people wouldn't have a clue how to make meat loaf or pot roast.

I think her house and kitchen are wonderful. Someone complained that the
kitchen never looked messy. I can't think of any cooking show where the set
looks messy. I do find the staged events with "guest" to be stilted and
contrived. I think that is the worst part of the show. The guests seem
very uncomfortable and I sort of feel sorry for Ina. It makes her look like
she has to bribe people to get them to visit her. One the other hand, it
appears that she is using her friends and family as props for her show. I
think the show would be better without guests. She should just set-up the
party as if people would be arriving momentarily like Julia Child did in her
early days.

I have seen a number of posts here that citizen her because she is obese.
There is no denying that she is large, but I think she has a lot of good
qualities. She is pretty, intelligent, and a successful business person. I
don't think it is any more valid to dislike a person because of their weight
than it is to dislike them because of their skin color or nationality.

In the end, if you can't stand her, then don't watch. I don't care for
Bobby Flay and I turn to another station rather than watch him. I find
myself watching fewer Food TV shows for one reason or another. I don't like
some hosts like Flay. I'm burnt-out on Emeril and Sarah. I don't think
that "semi-homemade" cooking is worth the time. The Naked Chef is too dirty
looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when they
aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water." The
food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that don't
leave much."

"Arch"
> Not one of my favorites either. Not a good TV image. In addition to that
> hebephrenic grin...

ROTFL!!

On Sun, 30 May 2004 02:41:53 GMT, Rick > wrote:

>In article >, Arch >
>wrote:
>
>> hebephrenic
>
>adj : suffering from a form of schizophrenia characterized by foolish
>mannerisms and senseless laughter...
>WordNet ® 1.6, © 1997 Princeton University
>
>So true.

Thank you. I was just about to look that one up.
Pan Ohco

"Vox Humana" wrote:
> I like the show, but not enough to record it or to arrange my schedule so
I
> can see it. I think the food is generally sound and uncomplicated --
> falling to the class of comfort food with a little flair.

I know, Vox, but I expect to see more from someone who joneses on saying
she'll *show us how* to prepare different and spectacular fare. She can't
live up to her own publicity.


> In some ways Ina
> reminds me of Martha Stewart. She has what I would call an east coast
> attitude. You can read it as reserved but confident or you can read it as
> snobbish.

No. I grew up on "East Coast attitude" and that ain't it. What she and
Martha both have is LIA, Long Island attitude... yes Martha is in
Connecticut, but which part of Connecticut? That's right. The tony Great
Gatsby part across the Sound. LIA says "snob" in capital letters.

Worse, Ina doesn't project confidence at all, especially when Geoffrey is
around. She seems to become fawning and servile, mixed with ego spurts when
she tells him about how special the food is and recipes she's diddled around
with. Top that off with giggling cutesy-poo, and the whole picture is
pathetic indeed. I've been tempted to shout at the television "All right
already, you sad example of womanhood, he loves you! NOBODY needs a man this
much, okay??"


> You might be surprised at how many people would benefit from Cooking 101.
> Kids are growing up in homes with parents who have multiple jobs and in
> single parent households. Kids don't take things like Home Economics in
> school like they did 50 years ago. If you look at what people have packed
> into their carts at the supermarket you will see that for many, cooking
> means opening boxes, cans, and jars and heating prepared foods. Many
people
> eat several meals each week at places like McDonalds and KFC. Salads come
> from bags. Mashed potatoes come from a box. I'm sure that a good many
> people wouldn't have a clue how to make meat loaf or pot roast.

Okay, but she's not even doing Cooking 101. She's off in the Culinary
Twilight Zone, where Key Lime Pie is made in the freezer with some lime zest
and all there is to roasting meat is pounding some seasoning on a cut of
beef and preheating the oven... everything in between prep and putting it on
the table just happens while she's off buying flowers.


> I think her house and kitchen are wonderful. Someone complained that the
> kitchen never looked messy. I can't think of any cooking show where the
set
> looks messy.

Even Giada's kitchen looks like someone actually uses it. In contrast, Ina's
looks like the house is up for sale.


> I do find the staged events with "guest" to be stilted and
> contrived. I think that is the worst part of the show. The guests seem
> very uncomfortable and I sort of feel sorry for Ina. It makes her look
like
> she has to bribe people to get them to visit her. One the other hand, it
> appears that she is using her friends and family as props for her show.

I have difficulty believing that she knows any of the people she uses on her
shows, except for Geoffrey.

A couple of weeks ago, I watched still another episode in the Must Please
Geoffrey saga. She had arranged some kind of "romantic" chow down that would
be consumed in the living room seated on the floor in front of a blazing
fireplace. Chocolate-dipped strawberries were featured, hardly a
groundbreaking notion and not at all difficult to do. The show was badly
lit, so dark that we couldn't clearly see what was going on and, most sadly,
when Ina was in the foreground we couldn't see the fire in the fireplace*

(* Reference comments to her weight below)


> I
> think the show would be better without guests. She should just set-up the
> party as if people would be arriving momentarily like Julia Child did in
her
> early days.

Agreed. Or maybe she should just turn it into a Happy Homemaker scenario:
Waiting for Geoffrey.


> I have seen a number of posts here that citizen her because she is obese.
> There is no denying that she is large, but I think she has a lot of good
> qualities. She is pretty, intelligent, and a successful business person.
I
> don't think it is any more valid to dislike a person because of their
weight
> than it is to dislike them because of their skin color or nationality.

I don't think anyone dislikes her because of her weight. I've commented on
it, because of the times we've been treated to watching her eat on the show
(shudder) and because she seems to know more about eating food than
preparing it. But I don't *dislike* her because of her weight.


> In the end, if you can't stand her, then don't watch.

I watch her for the same reason people are drawn to accident scenes. The
need to see how bad things can be overwhelms revulsion and better judgement.
It's how the Lifetime channel survives.


> I don't care for
> Bobby Flay and I turn to another station rather than watch him. I find
> myself watching fewer Food TV shows for one reason or another. I don't
like
> some hosts like Flay. I'm burnt-out on Emeril and Sarah. I don't think
> that "semi-homemade" cooking is worth the time.

What? You don't prize canned frosting and pudding from a box?!


> The Naked Chef is too dirty
> looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when they
> aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water." The
> food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that
don't
> leave much."

Wolfgang Puck?

"Pennyaline" > wrote in
message ...
> "Vox Humana" wrote:
>
> > The Naked Chef is too dirty
> > looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when
they
> > aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water."
The
> > food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that
> don't
> > leave much."
>
> Wolfgang Puck?

Another personality driven show, much like Emeril's show. I think he can
cook and the food looks good, but I grow fatigued with the one note song of
these guys. For me it's like going to a restaurant and sitting near a
toddler who like to wave at you. The first time or two is charming. After
an hour it is annoying. Unfortunately, Food TV has about 60 hours of Emil
each week. When I can't find anything else to watch and turn on the Food
Network, inevitably Emil is spouting an Emirilism like "BAM!!!" or " I don't
know where you got your (insert ingredient here), but where I get mine, it
don't come seasoned." I can't get enough of that!

"Vox Humana" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Pennyaline" > wrote in
> message ...
> > "Vox Humana" wrote:
> >
> > > The Naked Chef is too dirty
> > > looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when
> they
> > > aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water."
> The
> > > food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that
> > don't
> > > leave much."
> >
> > Wolfgang Puck?
>
> Another personality driven show, much like Emeril's show. I think he can
> cook and the food looks good, but I grow fatigued with the one note song
of
> these guys. For me it's like going to a restaurant and sitting near a
> toddler who like to wave at you. The first time or two is charming.
After
> an hour it is annoying. Unfortunately, Food TV has about 60 hours of Emil
> each week. When I can't find anything else to watch and turn on the Food
> Network, inevitably Emil is spouting an Emirilism like "BAM!!!" or " I
don't
> know where you got your (insert ingredient here), but where I get mine, it
> don't come seasoned." I can't get enough of that!
>

Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?

Dora

In article >, limey >
wrote:

> Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?

Lydia.

--
Rick

Everything she makes is loaded with butter and cream. Tasty, maybe, but not
for me.

--
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
----
Louis Cohen
Living la vida loca at N37° 43' 7.9" W122° 8' 42.8"


"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.
>
> --
> Rick

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, limey >
> wrote:
>
> > Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?
>
> Lydia.

I love Lydia. Unfortunately, she's not on the Food TV Network.

"Vox Humana" > wrote in
:

> Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?
>

I kinda like Red Buttons...Cary Grant and Audrey Hepburn are ok too.

--
Once during Prohibition I was forced to live for days on nothing but food
and water.
--------
FIELDS, W. C.

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, limey >
> wrote:
>
> > Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?
>
> Lydia.
>
> --
> Rick

I used to like Jeff Smith, and Mary Ann Esposito, always explained what they
were cooking and during special seasons, why it was culturally important.

Currently cannot stand: Ina Garten - she should stay out of the kitchen
until she gets her hormones under control, no one wants to see a horny woman
moan about her man while handling food she expects someone else to eat.

Jamie Oliver - boy don't spit on the food while you're talking/cooking.

The Urban Peasant - this guy is depriving a village of their idiot.

And most 'local' talent popped up by indie networks, or public access.....

-Ginny

"Vox Humana" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Rick" > wrote in message
> ...
In the end, if you can't stand her, then don't watch. I don't care for
> Bobby Flay and I turn to another station rather than watch him. I find
> myself watching fewer Food TV shows for one reason or another. I don't
like
> some hosts like Flay. I'm burnt-out on Emeril and Sarah. I don't think
> that "semi-homemade" cooking is worth the time. The Naked Chef is too
dirty
> looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when they
> aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water." The
> food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that
don't
> leave much."
>
>
I agree, with all of the above, except I'll add that I like Tony Bourdain
and Alton Brown too.

telmgren > wrote:
>"Vox Humana" > wrote in message
...
>> "Rick" > wrote in message
>> ...
>In the end, if you can't stand her, then don't watch. I don't care for
>> Bobby Flay and I turn to another station rather than watch him. I find
>> myself watching fewer Food TV shows for one reason or another. I don't
>like
>> some hosts like Flay. I'm burnt-out on Emeril and Sarah. I don't think
>> that "semi-homemade" cooking is worth the time. The Naked Chef is too
>dirty
>> looking for my taste. I've seen all the Martha Stewart segments when they
>> aired on her MS Living program. I already know "How to boil water." The
>> food on the Iron Chef turns my stomach. As they say around here "that
>don't
>> leave much."

Any of you guys remember when FoodTV was just a little
shaver and had to fill time with crap like David
Rosengarten and Gordon Bennet--er, Elliot?

It's got a lower crap ratio now.

>I agree, with all of the above, except I'll add that I like Tony Bourdain
>and Alton Brown too.

Those two could have made their shows anywhere, not just
a channel with foodies watching out of bridging, momentum,
or obsession.

--Blair
"I do miss the reruns of
The French Chef, though."

"Virginia Tadrzynski" > wrote in message
...
>
> "Rick" > wrote in message
> ...
> > In article >, limey >
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Then I'll take a poll. Who are everyone's favorite "performers"?
> >
> > Lydia.
> >
> > --
> > Rick
>
> I used to like Jeff Smith, and Mary Ann Esposito, always explained what
they
> were cooking and during special seasons, why it was culturally important.
>

I'm a little disturbed by May Ann's imaginary friend. And, let's not even
talk about that wig!!

In article >, Vox Humana
> wrote:

> I'm a little disturbed by May Ann's imaginary friend. And, let's not even
> talk about that wig!!

Or that refrigerator!!

--
Rick

On 05/29/2004 2:39 PM, in article ,
" > opined:

> Rick > wrote:
>> I can not STAND this woman.
>
>> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
>> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
>> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
>> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
>> her in the face, real real hard.
>
> To each his own. The Barefoot Contessa is one of my favorite
> offerings on the Food Network. I also enjoy the theme music
> on that show a lot.
>
She is a fat pig! At the beginning when she walks up the beach from the
ocean it looks like SHAMU!

--
================================================== =====================
The principal difference between genius and stupidity is that there are
limits to genius!
================================================== =====================

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> In article >, Vox Humana
> > wrote:
>
> > I'm a little disturbed by May Ann's imaginary friend. And, let's not
even
> > talk about that wig!!
>
> Or that refrigerator!!

What's up with that? It looks like something issued by the Department of
Defense.

"The Wolf" > wrote in message
...
> On 05/29/2004 2:39 PM, in article ,
> " > opined:
>
> > Rick > wrote:
> >> I can not STAND this woman.
> >
> >> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> >> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> >> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> >> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> >> her in the face, real real hard.
> >
> > To each his own. The Barefoot Contessa is one of my favorite
> > offerings on the Food Network. I also enjoy the theme music
> > on that show a lot.
> >
> She is a fat pig! At the beginning when she walks up the beach from the
> ocean it looks like SHAMU!

One more group to add to your list. Your life must be pretty difficult
having to coexist with fat people, gays, and god only know who else that
doesn't fit you idea of the master race.

On 05/31/2004 12:09 PM, in article ,
"Vox Humana" > opined:

>
> "The Wolf" > wrote in message
> ...
>> On 05/29/2004 2:39 PM, in article ,
>> " > opined:
>>
>>> Rick > wrote:
>>>> I can not STAND this woman.
>>>
>>>> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
>>>> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
>>>> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
>>>> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
>>>> her in the face, real real hard.
>>>
>>> To each his own. The Barefoot Contessa is one of my favorite
>>> offerings on the Food Network. I also enjoy the theme music
>>> on that show a lot.
>>>
>> She is a fat pig! At the beginning when she walks up the beach from the
>> ocean it looks like SHAMU!
>
> One more group to add to your list. Your life must be pretty difficult
> having to coexist with fat people, gays, and god only know who else that
> doesn't fit you idea of the master race.
>
>
Is she *** too?

FWIW, the Barefoot Contessa--the place in East Hampton Ina Garten ran
for eighteen years and sold about eight years ago--went out of business
last year.

--
to respond, change "spamless.invalid" with "optonline.net"
please mail OT responses only

On 05/31/2004 4:51 PM, in article
, "Scott"
> opined:

> FWIW, the Barefoot Contessa--the place in East Hampton Ina Garten ran
> for eighteen years and sold about eight years ago--went out of business
> last year.
If I email you a quarter will you call someone who gives a shit?

The Wolf wrote:

>>One more group to add to your list. Your life must be pretty difficult
>>having to coexist with fat people, gays, and god only know who else that
>>doesn't fit you idea of the master race.
>>
>>
>
> Is she *** too?


LOL - betta' get some paper towels...just made a mess.

~john

Vox Humana wrote:

> As they say around here "that don't leave much."

Mario, Mario, Mario!!!

~john

The Wolf wrote:

> explain u self. Is this a homo thing normal people wouldn't understand. Like
> ****ing a goat? Or a donkey?


Nope - been ****in' your momma. So you're not too far off...

~john

On 05/31/2004 7:56 PM, in article , "Levelwave©"
> opined:

> The Wolf wrote:
>
>> explain u self. Is this a homo thing normal people wouldn't understand. Like
>> ****ing a goat? Or a donkey?
>
>
> Nope - been ****in' your momma. So you're not too far off...
>
> ~john
How many dicks did you suck last night? Explain yourself
please.................
--
================================================== =======
"If they do not now accept our terms, they may expect
a rain of ruin from the air the like of which has never
been seen on this earth," President Harry S. Truman.
================================================== =======

"Rick" > wrote in message
...
> I can not STAND this woman.
>
> Why does she have her own show? Has she ever had an original thought in
> her life? I've never learned one thing or picked up one tip watching
> her; it's all just regurgitated Cooking 101. And there's just something
> so smug and self-satisfied about her demeanor that I just want to smack
> her in the face, real real hard.
>
> --
> Rick

All this time, I felt I should have been watching Food TV. With all the
critiques, I'm somewhat relieved I haven't. I must see what I've been
missing, though.

Dora

limey > wrote in message
news [snip]
> All this time, I felt I should have been watching Food TV. With
> all the critiques, I'm somewhat relieved I haven't.

My local cable provider finally put it on basic and -- with one exception --
I've stuck with KQED-9 (SF PBS). I just can't stand the forced high-energy,
loud non-action that all of them are using as templates during production. I
prefer a more sedate, here-are-the-steps-to-make-this-dish approach of
yesteryear (Chefs of the World on DSC was an excellent show.)

> I must see what I've been missing, though.

You'll probably be as disappointed as you expect. <sigh>

The Ranger