I was waiting for an Uber outside of PetSmart and a little girl and
her mother walk out holding those puffy bags of water and air. The
5-year girl was especially fond and proud of HER bag.

I said, "Wow - you got a nice big bag of water!"

She says, "No, silly! These are my new tiny pet fishies in here!"

I step a little closer to look at the bag, "Wow! They ARE tiny.
That is sooo neat... do they come with tiny little French fries,
too?"

About a split-second later I learned a new facial expression AND
felt the fear of God AND Satan for the first time. The facial
expression is the "grinnace". It's a cross between a grin and
grimmace. But the Fear was, without even opening her lips at the
same moment of the grimmace, I CLEARLY heard the mother say "Are you
Steve?".

Whaaa? How who....????

I don't know what the look on my face said at that moment, but in
less than one single second I was the proudest, smarttest (assed)
guy in the world AND saw my life flash before my eyes as I was
falling into a pit of snarling beasts made entirely of flames.

But as I snapped out of it, I focus my eyes 10 feet beyond the
mother, and ... it's the Uber driver calling to me through her
passenger window.

Whew, thank God, that was close. I almost denounced my devout
atheism there for a second.

Now I got that off my chest I can finish my evening nap. But just
in case, "Now I lay me down to sleep... if I die before I wake, I
give to RFC my soul to take". You can interpret that as a prayer or
a curse, your choice. While I dream of cucumber kimchi burps.

-sw