On 2/6/2021 5:34 AM, Sqwertz wrote:
> I was waiting for an Uber outside of PetSmart and a little girl and
> her mother walk out holding those puffy bags of water and air. The
> 5-year girl was especially fond and proud of HER bag.
>
> I said, "Wow - you got a nice big bag of water!"
>
> She says, "No, silly! These are my new tiny pet fishies in here!"
>
> I step a little closer to look at the bag, "Wow! They ARE tiny.
> That is sooo neat... do they come with tiny little French fries,
> too?"
>
> About a split-second later I learned a new facial expression AND
> felt the fear of God AND Satan for the first time. The facial
> expression is the "grinnace". It's a cross between a grin and
> grimmace. But the Fear was, without even opening her lips at the
> same moment of the grimmace, I CLEARLY heard the mother say "Are you
> Steve?".
>
> Whaaa? How who....????
>
> I don't know what the look on my face said at that moment, but in
> less than one single second I was the proudest, smarttest (assed)
> guy in the world AND saw my life flash before my eyes as I was
> falling into a pit of snarling beasts made entirely of flames.
>
> But as I snapped out of it, I focus my eyes 10 feet beyond the
> mother, and ... it's the Uber driver calling to me through her
> passenger window.
>
> Whew, thank God, that was close. I almost denounced my devout
> atheism there for a second.
>
> Now I got that off my chest I can finish my evening nap. But just
> in case, "Now I lay me down to sleep... if I die before I wake, I
> give to RFC my soul to take". You can interpret that as a prayer or
> a curse, your choice. While I dream of cucumber kimchi burps.
>
> -sw
>
Thanks for the laugh. Imagine telling a child in a supermarket, "They
had to kill Peppa's family to make that bacon your mommy is buying."

--
--Bryan
For your safety and protection, this sig. has been thoroughly
tested on laboratory animals.