https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/1...=pocket-newtab


Excerpts:

....In 2012, New York Times writer Guy Trebay lamented that the dinner party was dead. €œThe seated dinner, with its minuet of invitation and acceptance, its formalities and protocols, its culinary and dietary challenges, its inherent requirements of guest and host alike is under threat, many say.€�

Hes partly correct: The classic seated, multi-course, formal dinner party, with its china and linens, its cocktails and boeuf bourguignon, is dead. Most young adults today €” specifically, millennials, who are in their mid-20s to late 30s by now €” dont have the money, time, or space for the types of elaborate dinner parties their parents and grandparents might have hosted decades ago. Dinner parties were once a way to show off your wealth and social status, but millennials hit by the Great Recession have neither.

"Dinner parties were once a way to show off your wealth and social status, but millennials have neither. "

That doesnt mean dinner parties have become obsolete in 2019: Theyve just evolved. Millennials prioritize friendships, so they still value gathering with their friends and loved ones over food and drinks, but theyve changed the playbook to adapt to our post-recession economy. That means formal dinners served on china with a roast and martinis have been replaced by having friends over to your apartment for chili night and White Claws. The cornbread might get a little burnt, some people might have to sit on the floor, but the important thing is getting together with friends and enjoying each others company €” not stressing out about tablescapes and etiquette...


....The shift towards rentals and apartments over buying spacious single-family homes means very few millennials have the physical space for a 12-person reclaimed wood dining table, or room for a dinner table at all.

€œNo one I know has the space or the time to devote to what a formal dinner party entails,€� says Elizabeth Gerberich, a 25-year-old living in Austin, Texas. €œI dont know anyone who owns a dining table that can comfortably fit more than three people at a time because no one I know has an apartment with an actual dining room.€�...


(snip)


Potluck does get mentioned, but there's a certain aspect of that which gets avoided. Namely (I may have posted this rant of mine here, before):


I don't mind potluck dinners, especially when circumstances mean that the hosts will never visit my house (such as when they are semi-invalids). But there ARE times when potluck isn't really that - it's mooching.

From Amy Dickinson's column, fall of 2006:

Dear Amy: I just received yet another invitation to a "party" to which I am supposed to bring food and drink. I have noticed that over the years this "potluck" trend is increasing.

I think potlucks are fine for impoverished grad students or committee meetings, but it seems to me that two gainfully employed adults who own their home should not expect their guests to provide refreshments for themselves.

If the excuse is that both are working and have no time to prepare, I would argue that the same is true for their guests.

If cash is short, a big pot of soup and some crusty bread make fine fare. My understanding is that hospitality means sharing what you have with your friends, not asking them to pay for your "party."

I have taken to simply declining without explanation invitations that require me to provide refreshments as price of admission. I am wondering if I am the only person who is fed up with this whole thing.
- Tired Of Cooking

Dear Tired: I have also noticed an increase in potlucking and agree with you that, depending on the event, bringing your own food and drink to a dinner party hardly seems like hospitality.

Now that you've thrown down the cassoulet, let's see how others respond.

And here's the best follow-up, from Jan. 2007:

"Those who object to potluck dinners should be aware that there is a difference between a dinner that everyone agrees will be shared -- and one to which guests are invited, only to be asked to supply the hostess's menu. I agree that the latter is inappropriate."


Lenona.