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"Cheri" wrote in message ...
"Ophelia" > wrote in message ... > "tert in seattle" wrote in message > ... > > Ophelia wrote: >> "tert in seattle" wrote in message >> ... >> >> Ophelia wrote: >>> "tert in seattle" wrote in message >>> ... > > >>> it is an interesting thought experiment - consider what would happen >>> after >>> you die suddenly and unexpectedly >>> >>> no need to bore your friends with it though >>> --------------- >>> >>> My husband would have me cremated, exactly as we have discussed. >> >> I mean how would everyone react >> --------------- >> >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done >> <g> >> >> I won't change my mind though:)) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone >> to >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am:) >> >> Would you have a problem with it? > > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used > more in traffic reports. > > Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!! > > Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico > was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each > of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to > relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. So > my question about dying suddenly and unexpectedly comes out of that > experience. And I have concluded that while it is potentially devastating > and a tremendous, life-changing event for some people who knew the > deceased, > the other seven billion people on the planet will be oblivious save for > those few who pass by whatever memorial remains and even those few will > not give it a second thought. > > They are everywhere these days. Perhaps it gives the close > family some kind of relief but I don't understand it for myself. It is > crazy here when someone famous dies. There are carpets of flowers and > teddy bears etc. These from people who never knew the deceased in real > life. Bonkers. I think they're hoping to be seen on TV, then there was the guy at JFK JR's memorial saying on TV "I don't really know a lot about him, but I know he was the last of The Camelots." LOL Cheri ------------ LOL very likely:))) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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Ophelia wrote:
> > Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I am > a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life. > > I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on others, > apart from my husband. > > I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are in > contact about once a year by phone. > > My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else. > You sound similar to me, O. I've got many friends but they come in varing degrees. True good friends? Very few. Other than family now, I've got what I consider 3 true friends but none of them live here. We email each other every single day though (for the past 20 years or so). Mia was my last very true physical friend and then she died. Kind of makes you not want to get new friends. |
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On Mon, 22 Aug 2016 23:15:15 -0700, sf > wrote:
>On Sun, 21 Aug 2016 23:01:15 -0700, "Cheri" > >wrote: >> >> "Brooklyn1" > wrote in message >> ... >> > Gary wrote: >> >> >> >>I said put my body in adumpster. Who cares? >> > >> > That's very telling of how you feel you've lived your life and what >> > you feel you're worth. Gary, it's very evident from your posts that >> > you don't value your life... any shit is good enough for you. You >> > must've been beat up on horrifically by someone, so to protect >> > yourself you've since beat up on yourself more than anyone else ever >> > can again. Did you ever think that maybe that person who beat up on >> > you moved on and you don't ever occur to that person... don't you >> > think it's time you move on too. It's the saddest person who doesn't >> > value themself enough to leave some trace of their existance. Everyone >> > who says they want to be creamated and have their ashes scattered to >> > the wind is really saying their life hasn't enough worth to be >> > remembered. >> >> What a crock, no need to leave a decaying body as proof of an existence, >> Hell...even *your* posts will be around long after you are, what more proof >> do you need? Many cremated remains are intered in the urn with a head stone or displayed in a family mausoleum rather than scattered. The real reason people go for cremation and scattering ashes is because they are cheap... and odds are those are not the ashes of the deceased, could easily be scooped from someone's hibachi. >The thought of cremation creeps me out too, but I can't say regular >burial is a family tradition - because all 4 grandparents and both of >my parents were cremated. I don't care about grave markers but if I'm >planted, I want a tree over my grave. The Funeral directer has already noted that Lily Of The Valley is to be planted at my gravesite... I asked about a tree but most cemeterys won't plant a tree as their root system requires too much space, preventing that area from being used for new gravesites without risking killing the tree. I was informed that I'd need to purchase several more adjoining gravesites. I chose Lily Of The Valley, it needs no care, it's highly poisonous so deer and other critters wont eat it... it'll bloom for my birthday. >If they burn me up and scatter >my ashes, I'd like a memorial bench at the zoo set up in front of the >giraffe enclosure because watching the giraffes was something I did a >lot with my children when they were young. We live close to the zoo, >so it was easy to visit (often more than once a week) and had a family >pass for many years. Donate a sizeable sum to a zoo and they'll install a stone memorial bench now, and you'll know it was done... you'll even get to take the tax deduction. |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 11:12:05 -0700, "Cheri" >
wrote: > > "sf" > wrote in message > ... > > > The thought of cremation creeps me out too, but I can't say regular > > burial is a family tradition - because all 4 grandparents and both of > > my parents were cremated. I don't care about grave markers but if I'm > > planted, I want a tree over my grave. If they burn me up and scatter > > my ashes, I'd like a memorial bench at the zoo set up in front of the > > giraffe enclosure because watching the giraffes was something I did a > > lot with my children when they were young. We live close to the zoo, > > so it was easy to visit (often more than once a week) and had a family > > pass for many years. > > Yes, different folks have different ideas and hopefully their wishes will be > followed within reason, now if they want their ashes scattered on top of > Mount Everest or something, forget it. :) > I also like the going out with a bang in fireworks idea and of course, being turned into a gemstone... which would work if they decide to burn me up. -- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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Brooklyn1 wrote:
> > The Funeral directer has already noted that Lily Of The Valley is to > be planted at my gravesite... I asked about a tree but most cemeterys > won't plant a tree as their root system requires too much space, > preventing that area from being used for new gravesites without > risking killing the tree. That $1200 gravesite with maintenence forever of yours will last maybe 10 years. After that, they'll build a condo on top of your worthless grave. Your nice granite headstones that you paid so much for will be turned upside down for granite countertops in the condo kitchen. When you die, you're gone. No headstones or graves mean anything to people. Deal with it. I've already accepted it. |
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"Gary" wrote in message ...
Ophelia wrote: > > Well you need to say it to me too. I don't 'do' friends in rl either. I > am > a friendly person but I don't want people cluttering up my life. > > I was an only child and have never been a 'mixer'. I don't rely on > others, > apart from my husband. > > I have my husband and family and one very old friend from the 60s We are > in > contact about once a year by phone. > > My family would miss me and I don't care about anybody else. > You sound similar to me, O. I've got many friends but they come in varing degrees. True good friends? Very few. Other than family now, I've got what I consider 3 true friends but none of them live here. We email each other every single day though (for the past 20 years or so). Mia was my last very true physical friend and then she died. Kind of makes you not want to get new friends. ------------- But I will always have a dog ... :) They love unconditionally:) I am sure you got that from your Mia too. Something to think about? -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 3:25:46 PM UTC-4, Gary wrote:
> Brooklyn1 wrote: > > > > The Funeral directer has already noted that Lily Of The Valley is to > > be planted at my gravesite... I asked about a tree but most cemeterys > > won't plant a tree as their root system requires too much space, > > preventing that area from being used for new gravesites without > > risking killing the tree. > > That $1200 gravesite with maintenence forever of yours will last maybe > 10 years. After that, they'll build a condo on top of your worthless > grave. Your nice granite headstones that you paid so much for will be > turned upside down for granite countertops in the condo kitchen. > > When you die, you're gone. No headstones or graves mean anything to > people. Deal with it. I've already accepted it. After you're dead, people will remember you. When those people die, you will be forgotten. No headstone or zoo bench will maintain meaningful memories. Why not just cut to the chase and have my ashes put in the dumpster? The net result is identical. (I'm willing to concede that putting the entire dead body in the dumpster is unhygienic.) Cindy Hamilton |
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barbie gee wrote:
> > > On Mon, 22 Aug 2016, tert in seattle wrote: > >> Dave Smith wrote: >>> On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote: >>> >>>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico >>>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each >>>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to >>>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. >>> >>> I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here. >>> Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award >>> nominations because the people killed were the authors of their >>> misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road >>> where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents >>> injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local >>> residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The >>> other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the >>> casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the >>> deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to >>> the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother. >>> >>> The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost >>> control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least >>> bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next >>> closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in >>> excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill >>> and slammed into the rock beside the road. >>> >>> Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn. >>> The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was >>> early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home >>> from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come >>> flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It >>> happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the >>> other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a >>> gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and >>> slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of >>> his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft. >>> >>> Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on >>> their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was >>> distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on >>> front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them. >>> They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally >>> unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place >>> to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was >>> killed by his stupidity. >> >> "A myriad of men* are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread; >> they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean >> advantages over each other. Age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; >> shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities. Those >> they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching >> grief. The burden of pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year. At >> length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for >> release is in their place. It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift >> ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no >> consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a >> failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed - >> a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever. Then >> another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along >> the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished - to make room >> for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same >> arid path through the same desert and accomplish what the first myriad >> and all the myriads that came after it accomplished - nothing!" >> >> * and women > > > CITE! goog sez Mark Twain |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016, tert in seattle wrote: > barbie gee wrote: >> >> >> On Mon, 22 Aug 2016, tert in seattle wrote: >> >>> Dave Smith wrote: >>>> On 2016-08-22 5:24 PM, tert in seattle wrote: >>>> >>>>> Anyhow one of the things I noticed while driving in northwest New Mexico >>>>> was how many roadside memorials there are. Not sure why so many but each >>>>> of those was set up by a person to express their sense of loss or to >>>>> relieve the accompanying pain, or however you want to describe it. >>>> >>>> I hate those things and there has been some controversy about them here. >>>> Most of the time they would be more appropriate as Darwin Award >>>> nominations because the people killed were the authors of their >>>> misfortune. The one closest to our house in on a curve in the road >>>> where there was a head one collision. There were four local residents >>>> injured in one vehicle and three fatalities in the other one. The local >>>> residents were returning from a nice winter vacation in the south. The >>>> other vehicle contained three drunks who had been partying at the >>>> casinos in Niagara Falls after the funeral for the brother of one of the >>>> deceased. The brother had died of a drug over dose, and according to >>>> the friend of my son, he had bought the drugs from his brother. >>>> >>>> The next closest was a single vehicle accident where a woman lost >>>> control on a very gentle curve on the road, one that is not the least >>>> bit challenging .... unless you are texting, like she was. The next >>>> closest to that was the result of a crash involving a car travelling in >>>> excess of 70 mph in a 30 mph zone. He lost it on the curve on a hill >>>> and slammed into the rock beside the road. >>>> >>>> Our neighbours three doors down the road refused to allow on their lawn. >>>> The deceased in that one was a teenager with a crotch rocket. It was >>>> early spring and the start of the motorcycle season.I used to get home >>>> from work at 3:45 and within 5 minutes of my arrival this kid would come >>>> flying down the street with a 30 mph limit doing 70-80 mph. It >>>> happened every day for a week and a half until one day a car coming the >>>> other way had to move over to the other side of the road to avoid a >>>> gaggle of geese on the road. He crested the hill at high speed and >>>> slammed into her car so hard that he was killed on impact and parts of >>>> his motorcycle flew as far as 200 ft. >>>> >>>> Hordes of his high school friends were coming out everyday, parking on >>>> their lawn and putting up crosses and other memorials. It was >>>> distressing enough for the neighbours to have to deal with that death on >>>> front of their house but the memorials were a real annoyance to them. >>>> They had seen his daily antics as much as I had and were totally >>>> unsympathetic. We all knew the kid was an accident looking for a place >>>> to happen and had small comfort from the fact that no one elese was >>>> killed by his stupidity. >>> >>> "A myriad of men* are born; they labor and sweat and struggle for bread; >>> they squabble and scold and fight; they scramble for little mean >>> advantages over each other. Age creeps upon them; infirmities follow; >>> shames and humiliations bring down their prides and their vanities. Those >>> they love are taken from them and the joy of life is turned to aching >>> grief. The burden of pain, care, misery, grows heavier year by year. At >>> length ambition is dead; pride is dead; vanity is dead; longing for >>> release is in their place. It comes at last - the only unpoisoned gift >>> ever had for them - and they vanish from a world where they were of no >>> consequence; where they achieved nothing; where they were a mistake and a >>> failure and a foolishness; where they have left no sign that have existed - >>> a world which will lament them a day and forget them forever. Then >>> another myriad takes their place and copies all they did and goes along >>> the same profitless road and vanishes as they vanished - to make room >>> for another and another and a million other myriads to follow the same >>> arid path through the same desert and accomplish what the first myriad >>> and all the myriads that came after it accomplished - nothing!" >>> >>> * and women >> >> >> CITE! > > goog sez Mark Twain > > I knew it sounded vaguely familiar... |
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Ophelia wrote:
> "tert in seattle" wrote in message > ... >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done >> <g> >> >> I won't change my mind though:)) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone >> to >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am:) >> >> Would you have a problem with it? > > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used > more in traffic reports. > > Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!! ah got it - sorry I don't want my body to be on display when I'm dead my only personal thoughts are that a human corpse can feed things that are still living, and and it's a shame to waste decent food |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:19:24 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> wrote: > No headstone or zoo bench will maintain meaningful memories. So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the zoo and in City parks. I read the plaque and thank the donor for their thoughtfulness. I didn't know them when they were alive and they aren't a relative, but they did something nice for me anyway - and I'd like to do the same for others. -- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 5:02:56 PM UTC-4, sf wrote:
> On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:19:24 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton > > wrote: > > > No headstone or zoo bench will maintain meaningful memories. > > So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people > to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those > benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with > their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the > zoo and in City parks. I read the plaque and thank the donor for > their thoughtfulness. I didn't know them when they were alive and > they aren't a relative, but they did something nice for me anyway - > and I'd like to do the same for others. I never think that much about the donor. I don't know him from Adam's off ox. The meaningful memories I was referring to are things like "Remember when Granddad did this, and Dad did that, and Mom said 'Foo'?" I can remember, e.g., John Lennon, but he doesn't mean a darned thing to me. It doesn't mean that one shouldn't endow a bench at the zoo. The gesture is the same whether it's anonymous or not. Cindy Hamilton |
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On 8/23/2016 6:53 AM, Ophelia wrote:
> "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message > No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself. > What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that? > I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an > intelligent response. > <g> I'm just curious what she talks about. And if she ever disagrees with herself. nancy |
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On 8/23/2016 5:02 PM, sf wrote:
> So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people > to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those > benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with > their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the > zoo and in City parks. I thought if I was to be buried, I'd like my headstone to be a bench. I think I saw that in Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil and it struck my fancy. Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of them would be Finally! something fun around here. I don't want to be buried at all, so a bench or something nice like that would suit me just fine. nancy |
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On 8/23/2016 3:52 PM, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/23/2016 5:02 PM, sf wrote: > >> So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people >> to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those >> benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with >> their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the >> zoo and in City parks. > > I thought if I was to be buried, I'd like my headstone to be > a bench. I think I saw that in Midnight in the Garden of Good > and Evil and it struck my fancy. > > Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors > running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful > to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of > them would be Finally! something fun around here. > > I don't want to be buried at all, so a bench or something > nice like that would suit me just fine. > > nancy > I don't think my parents wanted to be cremated but they had no choice in the matter. The village cemetery has a separate space for internment and it's being used more than the traditional burial area. |
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On 2016-08-23 4:19 PM, Cindy Hamilton wrote:
> On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 3:25:46 PM UTC-4, Gary wrote: >> Brooklyn1 wrote: >>> >>> The Funeral directer has already noted that Lily Of The Valley is to >>> be planted at my gravesite... I asked about a tree but most cemeterys >>> won't plant a tree as their root system requires too much space, >>> preventing that area from being used for new gravesites without >>> risking killing the tree. >> >> That $1200 gravesite with maintenence forever of yours will last maybe >> 10 years. After that, they'll build a condo on top of your worthless >> grave. Your nice granite headstones that you paid so much for will be >> turned upside down for granite countertops in the condo kitchen. >> >> When you die, you're gone. No headstones or graves mean anything to >> people. Deal with it. I've already accepted it. > > After you're dead, people will remember you. When those people die, > you will be forgotten. No headstone or zoo bench will maintain > meaningful memories. > I live in a relatively newly civilized part of the world. This area was settled by Loyalists in the late 1780s and there are a number of local cemeteries dating back to that time. Most of the grave markers are so worn they cannot be read. A couple years ago I met up with a distant cousin who wanted to show me our great great great great great grandfather's grave. It is a pile of rubble that used to be a grave marker, and he died in 1868. http://www.imuc.org/bridgeford.pdf We sort of lucked out with my father. He wanted to be buried alongside his air force crew mates who had all been killed when they plane was shot down over Denmark. The Commonwealth War Graves Commission cemetery is in a church yard in Svino and they offered a spot for his grave adjacent to the war graves site and they maintain his grave. I have stopped by there unannounced and not only was the grave site immaculately maintained, but there were fresh flowers on his grave. |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 11:52:39 AM UTC-10, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/23/2016 5:02 PM, sf wrote: > > > So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people > > to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those > > benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with > > their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the > > zoo and in City parks. > > I thought if I was to be buried, I'd like my headstone to be > a bench. I think I saw that in Midnight in the Garden of Good > and Evil and it struck my fancy. That's a very practical idea. Some things, like the impermanence of life, are best contemplated sitting down. > > Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors > running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful > to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of > them would be Finally! something fun around here. I once saw a family sitting around a grave with a big spread, including a whole suckling pig. They even set off firecrackers at the grave. Obviously, they were a Chinese family. :) > > I don't want to be buried at all, so a bench or something > nice like that would suit me just fine. > > nancy My grandparents and aunts were Buddhists, and they have funeral services every few years. I've been going to them since I was a little kid. I believe the last one is at 75 years or so. OTOH, the family will get together for the observance and afterwards, have a bite to eat. It's one of the few times I get to see them. Perhaps that's the whole point of it. |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 14:20:51 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton
> wrote: > On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 5:02:56 PM UTC-4, sf wrote: > > On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 13:19:24 -0700 (PDT), Cindy Hamilton > > > wrote: > > > > > No headstone or zoo bench will maintain meaningful memories. > > > > So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people > > to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those > > benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with > > their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the > > zoo and in City parks. I read the plaque and thank the donor for > > their thoughtfulness. I didn't know them when they were alive and > > they aren't a relative, but they did something nice for me anyway - > > and I'd like to do the same for others. > > I never think that much about the donor. I don't know him from > Adam's off ox. > > The meaningful memories I was referring to are things like > "Remember when Granddad did this, and Dad did that, and Mom said 'Foo'?" > I can remember, e.g., John Lennon, but he doesn't mean a darned thing to me. > Those meaningful memories are only maintained by the living and it won't be a problem for me when it dies with them, because I'll be dead anyway. The trick is to be loved enough that you are remembered with fondness, and not be the kind of person whose death others rejoice over (it happens). > It doesn't mean that one shouldn't endow a bench at the zoo. The gesture > is the same whether it's anonymous or not. > Agree. -- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 17:52:31 -0400, Nancy Young
> wrote: > Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors > running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful > to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of > them would be Finally! something fun around here. I don't know why anyone would call it "disrespectful". Where does that come from? The cemetery of my dreams will eventually be a park (which is why I think a tree is a perfect memorial), and I want people to picnic on my grave. Go to the cemetery and enjoy life! -- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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On 8/23/2016 3:00 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote:
> > Many cremated remains are intered in the urn with a head stone or > displayed in a family mausoleum rather than scattered. The real > reason people go for cremation and scattering ashes is because they > are cheap... and odds are those are not the ashes of the deceased, > could easily be scooped from someone's hibachi. Exactly. Whatever I may have left I want my kids to have a vacation in Italy, not the funeral director. They can put my ashes in a foam cooler and float it down the river. I like a good steak so they can include ashes from the hibachi. |
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On 2016-08-23 6:58 PM, sf wrote:
> On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 17:52:31 -0400, Nancy Young > > wrote: > > I don't know why anyone would call it "disrespectful". Where does > that come from? The cemetery of my dreams will eventually be a park > (which is why I think a tree is a perfect memorial), and I want people > to picnic on my grave. Go to the cemetery and enjoy life! > Cemeteries vary a lot from one location/culture to another. I have been to Cemetere Pere Lachaise in Paris a couple times. I liked it so much the first time that I made a point of going to it the next time I was in Paris. I can't imagine going to a cemetery around here and wandering around just to see the interesting names, stones and crypts, but it was an an incredible experience doing it there. |
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On 8/23/2016 6:58 PM, sf wrote:
> On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 17:52:31 -0400, Nancy Young > > wrote: > >> Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors >> running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful >> to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of >> them would be Finally! something fun around here. > > I don't know why anyone would call it "disrespectful". Where does > that come from? The cemetery of my dreams will eventually be a park > (which is why I think a tree is a perfect memorial), and I want people > to picnic on my grave. Go to the cemetery and enjoy life! Perhaps I could understand if they said disrespectful to the mourners, but they didn't. I'm with you on that, and if I was the grieving party, perhaps I would go at a quieter time. Picnics, family gatherings, I think that's a better way to pay respects than people staying away and only being somber if they do visit. nancy |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 15:26:41 -0400, Gary > wrote:
>Brooklyn1 wrote: >> >> The Funeral directer has already noted that Lily Of The Valley is to >> be planted at my gravesite... I asked about a tree but most cemeterys >> won't plant a tree as their root system requires too much space, >> preventing that area from being used for new gravesites without >> risking killing the tree. > >That $1200 gravesite with maintenence forever of yours will last maybe >10 years. After that, they'll build a condo on top of your worthless >grave. Your nice granite headstones that you paid so much for will be >turned upside down for granite countertops in the condo kitchen. > >When you die, you're gone. No headstones or graves mean anything to >people. Deal with it. I've already accepted it. The local cemetery here has been in existance since the mid 1600s, I doubt it will be abandoned any time soon. All you keep doing with your remarks is to prove how worthless a life you've lived. |
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In article >, Ophelia
> wrote: > "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message > ... >> Oh, I'll always have me. I've always been my own best friend, >> even before I met my husband. >> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty >> typical of the breed. >> Cindy Hamilton > Yes. I recognise myself. I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. leo |
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On 2016-08-23 8:30 PM, Leonard Blaisdell wrote:
> In article >, Ophelia >>> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty >>> typical of the breed. > >>> Cindy Hamilton > >> Yes. I recognise myself. > > I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just > thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. > I don't know about that. My son is an only child. Granted, he is single in his late 30's, but he has a lot of friends, many of them very close. He is also very close with a number of his cousins and with his uncles and aunts. |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 1:47:16 PM UTC-10, Janet wrote:
> In article >, > says... > > > > On 2016-08-23 6:58 PM, sf wrote: > > > On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 17:52:31 -0400, Nancy Young > > > > wrote: > > > > > > > > I don't know why anyone would call it "disrespectful". Where does > > > that come from? The cemetery of my dreams will eventually be a park > > > (which is why I think a tree is a perfect memorial), and I want people > > > to picnic on my grave. Go to the cemetery and enjoy life! > > > > > Cemeteries vary a lot from one location/culture to another. I have been > > to Cemetere Pere Lachaise in Paris a couple times. I liked it so much > > the first time that I made a point of going to it the next time I was > > in Paris. I can't imagine going to a cemetery around here and wandering > > around just to see the interesting names, stones and crypts, but it was > > an an incredible experience doing it there. > > If you're in London, Highgate cemetery is fascinating. > > http://highgatecemetery.org/visit > > Janet UK It's a great cemetery. We don't have great cemeteries on this rock. I'd like to go through there one of these days. It really makes one think about the dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z8bBQmbXRk |
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"sf" > wrote in message ... > I also like the going out with a bang in fireworks idea and of course, > being turned into a gemstone... which would work if they decide to > burn me up. :) yes a gemstone is good. Cheri |
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On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 20:46:44 -0400, Dave Smith
> wrote: > On 2016-08-23 8:30 PM, Leonard Blaisdell wrote: > > In article >, Ophelia > > >>> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty > >>> typical of the breed. > > > >>> Cindy Hamilton > > > >> Yes. I recognise myself. > > > > I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just > > thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. > > > > I don't know about that. My son is an only child. Granted, he is single > in his late 30's, but he has a lot of friends, many of them very close. > He is also very close with a number of his cousins and with his uncles > and aunts. Thank you. My father was an only child, as was his mother, and neither of them were introverts. They were social and had lots of outside interests. -- I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food. |
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"sf" > wrote in message ... > On Tue, 23 Aug 2016 20:46:44 -0400, Dave Smith > > wrote: > >> On 2016-08-23 8:30 PM, Leonard Blaisdell wrote: >> > In article >, Ophelia >> >> >>> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty >> >>> typical of the breed. >> > >> >>> Cindy Hamilton >> > >> >> Yes. I recognise myself. >> > >> > I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just >> > thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. >> > >> >> I don't know about that. My son is an only child. Granted, he is single >> in his late 30's, but he has a lot of friends, many of them very close. >> He is also very close with a number of his cousins and with his uncles >> and aunts. > > Thank you. My father was an only child, as was his mother, and > neither of them were introverts. They were social and had lots of > outside interests. My mom was an only child too, and she surrounded herself with everyone elses kids and had many friends. She was very social as well and loved going just about anywhere. Cheri |
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"Leonard Blaisdell" wrote in message
... In article >, Ophelia > wrote: > "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message > ... >> Oh, I'll always have me. I've always been my own best friend, >> even before I met my husband. >> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty >> typical of the breed. >> Cindy Hamiltonhe > Yes. I recognise myself. I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. leo ----------- Actually I was the same until this subject came up:) Thanks, Cindy:) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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"tert in seattle" wrote in message
... Ophelia wrote: > "tert in seattle" wrote in message > ... >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done >> <g> >> >> I won't change my mind though:)) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone >> to >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am:) >> >> Would you have a problem with it? > > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used > more in traffic reports. > > Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!! ah got it - sorry I don't want my body to be on display when I'm dead my only personal thoughts are that a human corpse can feed things that are still living, and and it's a shame to waste decent food === Would you eat human meat?? -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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"dsi1" wrote in message
... On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 11:52:39 AM UTC-10, Nancy Young wrote: > On 8/23/2016 5:02 PM, sf wrote: > > > So what? Have you never been to a zoo? There are benches for people > > to sit on and enjoy watching the animals at their leisure. Those > > benches are often sponsored/donated, and the donor gets a plaque with > > their name on it (if they wish). I have used many such benches at the > > zoo and in City parks. > > I thought if I was to be buried, I'd like my headstone to be > a bench. I think I saw that in Midnight in the Garden of Good > and Evil and it struck my fancy. That's a very practical idea. Some things, like the impermanence of life, are best contemplated sitting down. > > Someone wrote to a column, complaining about kids of visitors > running around and playing in the cemetery, how disrespectful > to the deceased. I thought If the dead people knew, most of > them would be Finally! something fun around here. I once saw a family sitting around a grave with a big spread, including a whole suckling pig. They even set off firecrackers at the grave. Obviously, they were a Chinese family. :) > > I don't want to be buried at all, so a bench or something > nice like that would suit me just fine. > > nancy My grandparents and aunts were Buddhists, and they have funeral services every few years. I've been going to them since I was a little kid. I believe the last one is at 75 years or so. OTOH, the family will get together for the observance and afterwards, have a bite to eat. It's one of the few times I get to see them. Perhaps that's the whole point of it. ===== Family traditions:) Lovely:) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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"dsi1" wrote in message
... It's a great cemetery. We don't have great cemeteries on this rock. I'd like to go through there one of these days. It really makes one think about the dead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Z8bBQmbXRk ======== You can play that for me anytime:)) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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"Nancy Young" wrote in message ...
On 8/23/2016 6:53 AM, Ophelia wrote: > "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message > No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself. > What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that? > I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an > intelligent response. > <g> I'm just curious what she talks about. And if she ever disagrees with herself. nancy =============== I will leave that for her to answer and I am giving nothing away about me .... ;-) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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"Ed Pawlowski" wrote in message
... On 8/23/2016 3:00 PM, Brooklyn1 wrote: > > Many cremated remains are intered in the urn with a head stone or > displayed in a family mausoleum rather than scattered. The real > reason people go for cremation and scattering ashes is because they > are cheap... and odds are those are not the ashes of the deceased, > could easily be scooped from someone's hibachi. Exactly. Whatever I may have left I want my kids to have a vacation in Italy, not the funeral director. They can put my ashes in a foam cooler and float it down the river. I like a good steak so they can include ashes from the hibachi. === lol that would suit me fine:)) -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 5:43:36 PM UTC-4, Nancy Young wrote:
> On 8/23/2016 6:53 AM, Ophelia wrote: > > "Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message > > > No friends aside from my husband. Earlier you said I don't value myself. > > What, in the years I've been posting here would lead you to conclude that? > > I'm arrogant, and I talk to myself because that's the only way to get an > > intelligent response. > > > <g> > > I'm just curious what she talks about. And if she ever disagrees > with herself. Heh. Just ask the people in the adjacent cubes at work. I often disagree with myself. "Should I do it this way or that? This. No, that." I ended up with "that". Cindy Hamilton |
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On Tuesday, August 23, 2016 at 8:46:48 PM UTC-4, Dave Smith wrote:
> On 2016-08-23 8:30 PM, Leonard Blaisdell wrote: > > In article >, Ophelia > > >>> Don't you know anybody else who was an only child? I'm pretty > >>> typical of the breed. > > > >>> Cindy Hamilton > > > >> Yes. I recognise myself. > > > > I'm starting to see a "only child" pattern here in which I fit. I just > > thought I was weird. Now I know "we" are weird. It's comforting. > > > > I don't know about that. My son is an only child. Granted, he is single > in his late 30's, but he has a lot of friends, many of them very close. > He is also very close with a number of his cousins and with his uncles > and aunts. I have had friends throughout my life, quite close ones. And numerous acquaintances, and stuff in between. At the moment, however, all I've got is my husband, and he suffices. When he dies, I might befriend someone else; it's impossible to say whether I will meet someone congenial. It would be nice, but not necessary. My mother is similar. She never married; she had one close friend who died 40 years ago and she's never really had another. She pals around with her cousin's widow, but they're not really that close. Cindy Hamilton |
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On Wednesday, August 24, 2016 at 4:36:03 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote:
> "tert in seattle" wrote in message > ... > > Ophelia wrote: > > "tert in seattle" wrote in message > > ... > > >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is done > >> <g> > >> > >> I won't change my mind though:)) I am not lying in a coffin for everyone > >> to > >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am:) > >> > >> Would you have a problem with it? > > > > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to gawp > > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's used > > more in traffic reports. > > > > Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!! > > ah got it - sorry > > I don't want my body to be on display when I'm dead > > my only personal thoughts are that a human corpse can feed things that are > still living, and and it's a shame to waste decent food > > === > > Would you eat human meat?? Eating one's own species is bad epidemiology (look at Mad Cow Disease, or kuru <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_(disease)>). I'd be ok with feeding my body to dogs or something. Cindy Hamilton |
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"Cindy Hamilton" wrote in message
... On Wednesday, August 24, 2016 at 4:36:03 AM UTC-4, Ophelia wrote: > "tert in seattle" wrote in message > ... > > Ophelia wrote: > > "tert in seattle" wrote in message > > ... > > >> I don't really know but they won't have anything to say after it is > >> done > >> <g> > >> > >> I won't change my mind though:)) I am not lying in a coffin for > >> everyone > >> to > >> gawp at. Best they remember me as I am:) > >> > >> Would you have a problem with it? > > > > I don't have a problem with you not lying in a coffin for everyone to > > gawp > > at. We say gawk over here in the US btw. There's also gape but that's > > used > > more in traffic reports. > > > > Nooo I didn't mean with me. I meant in your life!!! > > ah got it - sorry > > I don't want my body to be on display when I'm dead > > my only personal thoughts are that a human corpse can feed things that are > still living, and and it's a shame to waste decent food > > === > > Would you eat human meat?? Eating one's own species is bad epidemiology (look at Mad Cow Disease, or kuru <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kuru_(disease)>). I'd be ok with feeding my body to dogs or something. Cindy Hamilton ========== Yes, I agree. -- http://www.helpforheroes.org.uk |
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