"graham" > wrote in message
...
> On 24/12/2015 1:17 AM, Ophelia wrote:
>>
>>
>> "graham" > wrote in message
>> ...
>>> On Eating Spam for Christmas
>>>
>>> When unimpressed with turkey and mince pies,
>>> I all alone beweep my outcast state,
>>> And curse fat Santa with ungrateful cries,
>>> And look on tasteless gifts from folks I hate,
>>> Wishing I had the riches I have not,
>>> Futures like him, like him of funds possess'd,
>>> Desiring this man's wife, and that man's yacht,
>>> With what I most enjoy presented least:
>>> Yet in these thoughts the season most despising,
>>> Haply I dine on Spam,--and then my state
>>> (Like to some butterfly of hope arising
>>> From misty dusk) sings carols at God's gate;
>>> For on sweet Spam I dine with such trimmings
>>> That I relish Christmas joys oerbrimmings.
>>>
>>>
>>> "Let me not to the contents of thy can"
>>>
>>> Let me not to the contents of thy can
>>> Add any condiments. Spam is not Spam
>>> When altered by unbalanced minds,
>>> Or flaked when the remover doth remove:
>>> O no; it is the ever-fixed pork,
>>> Uncooked, ungarnished, and by Time undinted;
>>> It is like gold to every plundering fork,
>>> Whose worth's unknown, although its price be printed.
>>> Spams not uncool, though rosy-hued and cheap
>>> And from it oily trickles constant come;
>>> Spam alters not, doth neither wake nor sleep,
>>> Its worth cries out though it be deaf and dumb.
>>> If this be error, and such claims a sham,
>>> Neer have I writ, and neer man ate of Spam.
>>>
>>> On His Spamlessness
>>>
>>> When I consider how my Spam is spent
>>> Ere half my time in this lunch hours gone by,
>>> And thirty minutes left I sit and cry
>>> Longingly Spamless, though my soul be bent
>>> To be served with more, €œWaitress€� I relent
>>> With gloomy frown, when she returns apace,
>>> "Do you accept Mastercard in this place?"
>>> I fondly ask. But Waitress, to prevent
>>> That murmur, soon replies, "We hath not need
>>> Of anything except hard cash. Who fails
>>> To tender such, we serve him not. Ill state
>>> It plain. Yet thousands to our diner speed.
>>> For though all cards of plastic we reject,
>>> We also serve the only Spam in state."
>>>
>>>
>>> On First Looking into Hormels Spam
>>>
>>> Much have I eaten out of silver cans,
>>> And many goodly meals and soups consumed;
>>> Downed tasty treats from many pots and pans
>>> And breads and jams and condiments perfumed.
>>> But of food less expensive Id been told
>>> That one proud Hormel tinned for wartime ration
>>> Yet did I never taste this porcine dream
>>> Till my can opener raised its lid, Behold!
>>> Then felt I like some lawyer on the rise
>>> When fast-food client stings with coffee burn;
>>> Or like stout Clinton, who with evil eyes,
>>> Ogling specifics of his new intern
>>> Smiled to himself at a wild surmise
>>> Silent, with just a peek, in Washington.
>>
>> lol did you er write/paraphrase that? if so *applause* )
>>
> No! I wish I had! I've downloaded others too. I think they were the result
> of a newspaper competition.

Well it gave me a good giggle anyway so thanks for posting


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